-Renee's Blog-
It's been 43 days since I was last able to upload. The teacher's are still waging war and have now moved out their secret weapon known as "20 Page Research Project. Details are sketchy but we know three of them are due and the remaining students are losing their spirit. The teacher's superior- University- has also started sending out demoralizing propaganda known as "Student Loan notifications". We lost an entire study group to the paper work last week. I believe they have also begun conspiring with e-mail accounts to move all fanfiction notifications to Spam in an effort to make us forget about the lovely things we still have in the world. I don't know how much longer I can hold out. Think of me and smile dear Readers. Think of me and smile.

Sorry guys. Didn't mean to make you wait so long. I've been running 16 hour days for the past few weeks and not a lot has gotten done except school. This has been written in bits and pieces over the past few weeks. I'll try to do better.

I hope you all enjoy, I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can.

~Renee

Tony groaned and drew his arms closer to his chest. He was so sore. His chest ached with every breath that he pulled in and his head was pounding.

But he was warm. Finally finally warm. And so comfortable. He didn't remember getting home but there was no way he was at his desk. His desk had a leak. And a really shitty chair.

He squeezed his eyes tighter. If he was home and he wasn't hearing an alarm then that probably wasn't a good sign.

He needed to get up.

Oh but he really didn't want to move.

You have a case. And work to do. And Jeanne.

Tony sighed and pealed his eyes open.

There was a dog on his lap.

Tony hit the back of the couch with a thump. A small shetland terrier lay on the cushion next to him, it's head resting on his legs and it's tail wagging slowly.

"Morning."

Tobias sat on the chair opposite the couch wearing a navy suit and a stern expression.

Tony blinked and looked from the FBI agent to the dog, trying to piece together his night.

"Fornell?"

The man's eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Now don't you start that again. It's Tobias."

He nodded slowly and pushed himself forward, attempting to stand off the couch but the dog wouldn't move.

"Want to um... call off the hounds here, Tobias?"

"Nope."

Tony looked at him in confusion. Fornell leaned back in his chair and studied the younger man with intense eyes.

"How long have you been sick?"

The NCIS agent turned his head away, not wanting to make contact with the other man.

"Tony. It's past hiding. You nearly blacked out in my bathroom after coughing up a lung and then you came out here and passed right out on my sofa. What's going on?"

Tony took a deep breath and winced.

"I'm fine Tobias. I things are just catching up to me. The plague screwed my immune system up and it can be hard to stay ahead of it. Spent too long in the rain and not enough time sleeping. I need some antibiotics and some rest. Simple fix."

"You haven't been to a doctor."

"That's not a question."

Tobias smiled and stood, stepping into the kitchen to retrieve the coffee he had made only minutes before Tony had woken up.

"No. You say you need rest. I get the feeling you're not getting much anymore."

Tony shrugged and stroked the ears of the dog, Biscuit, he now remembered.

"Busy. I'll get around to it."

Tobias stepped back in and handed the younger man some coffee and Tony took it with grateful eyes. He watched as the man he once looked at with disdain gulped the steaming beverage like it was the antidote for life and sighed when he reached the bottom.

Tony stared down at the coffee grounds and set the cup down, easing himself out from under Biscuit.

"Thank you Tobias. It was…" Tony blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, not looking at Fornell. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. You didn't have to let me stay, but thank you. It was very… kind of you."

Tobias took a step forward and put a hand on Tony's shoulder.

"Tony. Don't spread it around NCIS, but if you ever need anything, give me a call. I'll help you out. Alright?"

Tony smiled and nodded.

"As long as you do the same. Have a good rest of your day Tobias."

Fornell watched Tony slipped out the front door and to his car with something like regret. Something was wrong. With the entire situation. He didn't know what it was yet, but it was something. In his stories McGee and David were never there. Abby was never mentioned and on those occasions when he used to be forced to follow Gibbs around NCIS he always saw DiNozzo and Scuito together. Even Doctor Mallard was barely touched upon. He had once thought Tony was a self-absorbed, entitled, undeserved favorite but the more time he spent with him the more he released that there was so much below the surface. A kindness. A sympathy for others. Intelligence and humor and a genuineness.

And he was tired.

And sick.

And he didn't seem like he was stopping for anything right now.

Tobias leaned against the doorframe and sipped his coffee. He would keep an eye Tony.

Because if Gibbs was Gibbs he would want him too.

Because no matter what, he still owed him.

Because it was the right thing to do.

And because right now, it didn't look like anyone else was.

Xxx

Tony walked quickly into the bullpen, his shoulders back and eyes forward. He wasn't late, not yet, but he didn't have time to go home and change so he was going to have to grab another spare shirt. This was probably his last.

"Did you not go home last night?"

Tony glanced over at McGee and stifled a groan. Of course. Now he shows up on time.

"Extenuating circumstances."

Tim stood, wandering over to where Tony was digging for a clean shirt.

"Did you have to go back to the crime scene again? I didn't see a missed call..."

McGee checked his phone worriedly and Tony smiled slightly, tossing his old shirt over his chair and pulling the new one over his head.

"No McWorrywort. I didn't go back to the scene. It had nothing to do with the case I-"

"Was with another one of your bimbos no doubt."

Tony frowned at Ziva and McGee stepped away from the team lead, his face going from worry to disgust.

"No Ziva, I was not with a girl."

She leaned against her desk and rolled her eyes.

"Oh please. You did not go home, you are in the same clothes and it doesn't look like you slept. We are investigators Tony, we are not stupid."

Tony slammed shut his desk drawer and snatched a bottle of Tylenol.

"That's right Agent David. You're investigators, so how about not assuming and running with the first thought. My personal life is my own and I-"

"Agent Dinozzo."

Tony spun on his heel and snapped. "What?"

Director Shepherd took a half step back on the balcony then raised on eyebrow crossing her arms over her chest. "Everything alright?"

Tony ground his teeth and sucked in air so quickly that his nose whistled. "Yes ma'am. Just straightening out some misunderstandings. Anything you need?"

The woman eyed Ziva and McGee with curious eyes and shook her head. "Any progress on the case?"

He carefully didn't look at Ziva and McGee. "Yes actually. Now if you don't mind?"

She smiled, cold and expecting and turned back to her office.

"Tony?"

"What?"

He seemed to be unsure of what to land on. The directors constant insistence on Tony's presence, Tony's look of exhaustion and second day clothes, or the supposed break in the case. He finally appeared to settle on the case.

"We have a lead?"

Tony didn't tear his eyes away from the upper level and forced his clenched fists to relax.

"Possibly. Abby's checking something for me. Should be here any minute."

Ziva crossed her arms in front of her chest. "When were you planning on telling us this?"

Tony swiveled but had to grip the desk with one hand when the world tipped. Ziva was slipping in and out of focus and the bullpen was tilting crazily around her.

Seeing Ducky just moved up on the priority list.

"I don't know Agent David, maybe when you decided to do your job."

Ziva moved towards him but was interrupted by Abby running into the room.

"Tony!"

The agents continued to stare at each other but Tony kept his voice light when he answered the lab tech.

"What's up Ab?"

She hesitated when she saw how the two were standing, defensive and bristling. "Um… are you guys okay?"

No. Nothing's okay. It hasn't been okay in a long time.

"Yeah, everything's fabulous. What'cha got?"

She offered out the piece of the paper, eyeing them cautiously. "I got a hit on the bees, you asked me to double check them?"

Tony smiled and took the sheet, pacing back to lean on his desk. The letters skittered on the page, making it difficult to concentrate. His head was pounding and the hostility that was coming off of Ziva was making his neck tense up, ready for anything.

Abby waved her arms excitedly, leaning over Tony's shoulder to point at something on the paper. "You were right, there was pollen still on some of the bees. Calylophus berlandieri pollen to be exact."

McGee started to his computer. "Calylophus berlandieri?"

Tony leaned his head back and looked up towards the skylights. "Sundrops McGee. Little yellow flower native to Texas."

Abby and McGee stared at him in shock. "What?"

Tony shrugged and rubbed his upper lip. "Spent a lot of time growing up with the gardener. Always frustrated her that they didn't thrive in New York. They're native to the south."

Abby shrugged at McGee's look of confusion and turned back to Tony. "Alright then. Need anything else?"

Tony continued staring, feeling like there was something just on the edge of his knowledge. He was missing something really obvious and really important.

"No thank you Abby."

She nodded and looked to McGee with wide eyes. "Has Gibbs responded to any of your e-mails?"

They've been e-mailing Gibbs?

McGee shook his head with regret. "No. He may not be checking."

"Of course he's checking Timmy, he has to want to know what's happening around here. He's Gibbs."

Tony squeezed the back of his neck and tried not to let the sting of their words effect him.

"Guys, I miss Gibbs too, but we shouldn't bother him. He needs time-"

Abby scrunched up her face and sidled closer to McGee. "But Tony, he's had time. He needs to come home. You aren't supposed to lead this team, you're not right for it, and he knew that. He's going to come back. We just don't want him to think we forgot about him."

She didn't mean that like it sounded. Abby wouldn't say something to hurt you. That just came out wrong. She didn't mean that you… she didn't mean it.

Tony swallowed and nodded. "Okay Abby. E-mail away."

Tony turned away and looked down at his desk with empty eyes. He wondered idly if he would reach the point where words wouldn't hurt him anymore. If looks and mutters and thoughtlessness would roll off his back. Would he eventually become someone who just didn't care?

Xxx

Ducky eyed the young man for what seemed to be the hundredth time. There was something just off about this entire thing and more time he spend looking at the poor boy the more he believed the John Doe wasn't a Navy man at all, but just a poor fellow caught in something bigger than he planned.

Ducky rubbed his chin and leaned over the body, studying the young face curiously.

"Who are you my dear boy?"

"Working on it Duck."

The doctor glanced up to see Tony stepping into autopsy. He frowned seeing the agent. Here was another young man trapped in something he hadn't planned. Tony looked terrible. His face was pale, his natural glow washed out and overshadowed by the heavy circles drawn under his eyes.

He looked ill. He looked tired.

Anger bristled under his skin again. It wasn't right for Gibbs to do this to them. Just run off like that without a word of direction. Just a drop of the badge and a pat on the head. That wasn't how you leave your family. Tony was barely keeping his head above water, and the team were sharks circling around him and it was all thanks to the man who had pushed him off the plank to begin with.

Tony leaned on the table opposite of the victim and crossed his arms in front of chest wearily. "I think we're finally getting somewhere with this. Abby found some pollen on the bees that led back to flower native to Texas. The only place you can get it around here is a hot house downtown. A lot of greenhouses use bees as a source of natural pollination for their flowers so I'm going to swing down there with his picture, see if anyone's seen him."

Ducky chewed on the inside of his cheek and picked apart the younger man with sharp eyes.

"Yes, that is excellent Anthony. I'm most anxious to return this poor man to his family." Tony's eyes were focused on the boys face, and Ducky frowned seeing the weight on the lids. "Anthony, when was the last time you were able to get some rest? You don't look well."

Tony grimaced. "Actually I was wondering if you could-" Ducky cut him off, caught up in the swell of his rage once again.

"I know that this has been very difficult for you and it hasn't been fair at all. You weren't ready for this and Gibbs should have known better than to shove it upon your shoulders. It wasn't right and-"

The glass doors slid open and Palmer stood on the threshold. He paused seeing the scene in front of him. Ducky was ranting about Gibbs, his hands waving in the air above the body of the John Doe and Tony stood a few feet away, his shoulders curled against the torrent of words.

"Doctor Mallard?"

The man stopped his rampage and looked at the young doctor in confusion. "Mr. Palmer?"

He stepped further into the room. "Everything alright?"

Ducky nodded emphatically and turned back to Tony who had straightened and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Everything's great Jimmy. I was just on my way out."

Tony smiled at the men and slipped past Jimmy, patting the man gently on the shoulder as he disappeared toward the elevator.

Palmer watched him go and frowned before turning back to Ducky.

"Is he okay?"

Ducky tuttered and gestured for his assistant to come and help him move the body back into the freezer.

"No, he's very upset about Gibbs."

Xxx

Tony leaned his head against the interior wall of the elevator.

That went well.

He scraped his nails against the back of his neck and sighed. Right.

He was fine. A couple days and he'd shake this. No problem.

Tony stood straight and shook himself loose. Ziva was on the warpath and it seemed like Tim was wavering.

Right now wasn't a good time to be unsteady.

The elevator doors slid open and he sauntered into the bullpen. "Hey McGee!"

The bullpen was empty.

He glanced around and caught the eyes of Agent Treckson. He had never taken him out for a drink, he realized with a pang of regret. The agent frowned and leaned forward, his eyes bright with sympathy.

"Your team just cleared out Agent DiNozzo. Think they went after an early lunch."

Tony nodded and smiled, pushing aside the frustration. "Thanks. How are you doing?"

Treckson shrugged and looked away, "Getting there."

Tony sighed and let the silence linger for a brief moment. "Got plans for tomorrow night?"

Treckson leaned his head back in surprise. "Not at the moment..."

Tony smiled quietly and thumbed towards the door. "Want to grab drinks? Mumford and Rays?"

The other agent relaxed slightly and grinned cautiously. "That would be great. Eight?"

Tony glanced over at the empty bullpen. "Better make it nine."

Special Agent Treckson didn't say anything but understanding flickered across his face. He shook his head and turned back to his own desk. "Looking forward to it. Good luck DiNozzo."

Tony nodded and walked up to the plasma, queueing it up to the last bit of information that had been presented. He rubbed his chin and sighed, leaning against the nearest desk.

He'd make sure to swing by the pharmacy tonight after his date. Pick up some general antibiotics. Something to shake this. Hopefully he could hide it Jeanne. She was a bulldog when it came to stuff like this. She'd take one look at him and send him home without a second thought. He couldn't let another date end like that. The more time he spent with her the more he was determined that she had nothing to do with her father's business, but he was so close to meeting Beniot.

Tony grumbled in frustration and continued to stare at the screen though he wasn't seeing anything. There were other ways of doing this. He could have made a cover as a weapons dealer himself. Been a gang-banger or a lackie or touch his contacts with the underground.

There should have been a way to do this without involving anymore innocents.

He should have made the director listen.

"Think the answers will show up if you keep staring?"

Tony glanced over and raised his eyebrows when he saw Tobias standing in the opening between the desks. The other agent was relaxed but Tony could read displeasure in his eyes when he looked at him.

"Maybe. Do you ever work?"

Tobias grinned and grabbed Tony's bicep, pulling the man away from the plasma.

"Only when they can find me. It's my lunch break. Come on."

Tony smiled but shook his head with regret.

"Sorry Tobykins. I have a lead to check out."

Tobias glanced around and felt something in his stomach twist seeing the empty room. Tony was going to go to a potential crime scene without back-up. "I'll go with you. We'll grab food on the way. And you if you ever call me Tobykins again I'll quite cheerfully shoot you."

Tony blinked and then smiled widely. "You sure?"

Tobias patted his side and grinned cheekily. "Locked and loaded."

Tony laughed and felt something release. Tobias smiled at him and there was something familiar in his eyes, something frustrated and patient and fond. "You don't have-"

"Shut up. I'm starving. Pack it up and let's go."

Tony's cheeks stretched into a wider smile than he had managed in weeks and grabbed his backpack, flipping off the screen and following the FBI agent eagerly. Tobias looked over at him with a mixture of quiet amusement and sad resignation. If anything the younger man looked worse than he had that morning and he was completely alone. His face had been very schooled when he offered to come with him, nothing but a friendly smile, but Tobias had seen the shoot of hope in the man's eyes.

The desire to have someone watch his back. Someone care.

He subtly studied the dark circles under Tony's eyes and thought back to the day logs he had found on his desk the day before. The hours Tony was cataloguing were ridiculous. And dangerous.

Fornell straightened his shoulders and asked Tony about the case, watching the life spark behind the young agent as he laid out the mystery he had found.

Tobias saw as Tony came alive under the attention and he felt something resolve within him. He didn't know what was happening in NCIS since Gibbs left and frankly he didn't care.

But he cared about Tony.

And he wasn't going to let this continue.