4: Archangel is a Double Agent Against Catholic Jesus For Mormon Jesus, But Actually A Triple Agent Against Mormon Jesus For Catholic Jesus, But Overall Is A Double Agent Against Mormon Jesus AND Catholic Jesus For The Eden Universe's Jesus.
Jack was cured of his Savvy Cancer, but he still referred to every guy as "savvy" once in a while. As for Michael Keaton, Tom Sawyer, and the Archangel, they were not so fortunate. Jack walked up to the two Whedon creations and asked, "Where have you come from?" They said that they came from Equestria and were bombarded by Ring Wraiths and the Empire's starships. Jack became terrified and admitted, "It appears that Jewish Jesus is stronger than we have thought. He has made alliances with Sauron and Darth Sidious. We must inform Mormon Jesus right away." John Silver from Treasure Planet activated his robotic arm to reveal a 2-foot pink dildo by accident. He embarrassingly put that away to reveal a communicator, which turned the room into a virtual reality. Everyone stared at him forcing him to justify. He said, "What? That dildo was me mum's, and I hold it very dear to me sentimental heart." Mormon Jesus appeared through the communicator as if he were in the room. "John Silver, I apologize, but I urge you to be quick, for I need to heal a group of our followers of Savvy AIDS." "It's me, savvy," Jack assured Mormon Jesus. "We bring news of Jewish Jesus. He has entered the battle for Baby Jesus, allying himself with the Galactic Empire and the mighty Sauron." Mormon Jesus was slightly stern, but calmly answered, "That is quite alright, Sexy Jack. I have created sexual relations with Thanos and we have his Chitari army, which reminds me. I have a task for you and your crew Sexy Jack. I need you to search out the one known as Runka Chunk- Rina Chan. Bring her to me, please. It has appeared that she is a lone wolf in this battle while I thought her to be an ally. Find her and get her shit together and bring her to me once done." Faith stepped forward and said, "Wait, how can you be sure that Sauron and Darth Sidious are with Jewish Jesus? We were held captive by them and heard nothing about that." "Who are these people, Sexy Jack?" Jesus asked. "They teleported onto my ship randomly from Equestria," Jack answered. "I don't like the vampire slayer's open mind. Archangel, could you be a dear and kill them for me?" Archangel answered, "My Lord, with all due respect, savvy, killing anything with a soul is against my moral code." Peter Pan pushed him and screamed, "Stop being such a fucking pussy you thin-skinned antisocial twat! Kill them!" Tom Sawyer punched Michael Keaton in his piss-hole and ran outside while turning John Silver's communicator off. Archangel shoved the three outside onto the deck only to see Tom jump overboard onto Huckleberry's Raft with Jim and Mark Twain. After the three pushed Archangel to the ground and before they were going to kill him, he frantically whispered, "I'm not going to kill you, savvies! I work for Eden Jesus, neither Mormon nor Catholic Jesus, savvies! Let's get out of here savvies!" Jack shot Angel which made him angry and get his vampire face on, Silver shot Spock but he didn't die because of his desire to live long and prosper, and Peter Pan rushed at Faith only to get his balls kicked so hard that they went up his esophagus and out of his mouth. Archangel set the ship on fire and said, "FOOLS, SAVVIES. I am a triple agent for Catholic Jesus, savvies!" while quickly whispering to the others, "not really, savvies," and continued, "This ship belongs to Davey Jones now, and so do your souls, savvies!" He gathered the three close to him while sneakily pinching Faith's fine ass and teleported out of there. John Silver ran to the side of the ship and said, "Alright, savvies! Time to go to my ship!" John, Jack, and Michael Keaton jumped into the half-lifeboat-half-spaceship and flew off with Peter Pan flying at their side, choking on his testes. Michael Keaton asked, "What about my son, savvies?" Jack regretfully said, "I'm sorry, Keaton, but your son didn't show loyalty to Mormon Jesus when he ran off. We can't get him." Keaton grew sad, for he actually cared for his adoptive son. Archangel and da crew ended up in the Eden Universe's Earth and Faith smacked him for pinching her fine ass. Archangel looked smug and bobbed his eyebrows at her, she was immediately turned on and bit her bottom lip, and they began to make out. Angel got upset because he missed Buffy and realized this universe cancelled his show at season five (WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS A CLIFFHANGER ENDING FUCK YOU WHOEVER PRODUCED THE SHOW YOU COULD HAVE JUST GIVEN JOSS THE ANSWER INSTEAD OF CANCELLING A SHOW BY WHICH YOU RECEIVED A FUCK TON OF RATINGS FROM AND JOSS HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE CONFIDENT IT WAS A GREAT SHOW AND SEASON FIVE WOULD HAVE BEEN A MASTERPIECE IF IT WEREN'T THE LAST SEASON BECAUSE IN TRUTH THAT SEASON DID NOT WRAP ANYTHING UP SO FUCK YOU PIECES OF HELL HOUND SHIT FOR CANCELLING SUCH A GREAT SHOW I DON'T CARE SHIT WAS WRAPPED UP IN THE COMICS I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING READ THE COMICS IT'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT DAVID BOREANAZ YOU CUNTS. I have a man crush on David Boreanaz .). Spock went to a rave and overdosed on 69 ecstasy pills but didn't die because he still wanted to live long and prosper. A drunken Anna and worried Elsa brought Spock back to Archangel's penthouse where he just finished having 24 hours of sex with Faith. Elsa was turned on by the couple's sweaty appearance and squirted icicles just by seeing them. After she came, she explained that she and her sister were brought to this universe through a curse that Angelina Jolie's Maleficent cast upon them. No one gave a fuck. Spock, Anna, Archangel, and Faith passed out in the sweat-filled bed and cuddled the fuck out of each other. "Why does no one give a fuck?" Elsa complained. She cried but eventually heard a sexy voice say, "I care, baby." She turned around to see Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians and he said, "I'm part of the Big Four, but stakes have risen and I need to expand my group to be the Titanic Twelve. Wanna join, sugar tits?" Elsa came icicles once again just by hearing his sexy voice. He commented, "You really need to get out more. You cum more easily than a confused adolescent horny boy rubbing up against a wall." She told him to wait for Anna because she needed to protect her little sister. So basically, Archangel had a slumber party. Nat, Indestructo's older brother, and Jeffrey, Archangel's cousin, walked into the penthouse and observed the boisterous activity. Nat's anus grew tighter than ever through his anxiety while Jeff changed into his comfy "you'll shoot your eye out kid" A Christmas Story jammies with Ralphie's face and a Red Rider BB gun placed randomly all over them. Jeff jumped into the sleeping pile of beauty, living long, and prosperity. Nat couldn't sleep though, for he needed to find is brother. Yet again, Elsa looked so fucking hot and he and his brother could be shipped with the two sisters from Disney's Frozen. Now there would be a love triangle between Nat, Elsa, and Jack Frost. However, Jack is also greatly shipped with his Big Four companion Rapunzel, so she would be added to the mix. Yet Disney's Rapunzel is also shipped with Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon, who is also shipped with Brave's Merida, who is also shipped with Jack, who is also shipped with Hiccup as a gay couple, and Rapunzel is shipped with Merida in a lesbian relationship, and even the two sisters from Frozen are shipped together! But Rapunzel is also paired with Eugene and Hiccup is paired with Astrid, so, yeah. SO MUCH SHIPPING I SHIP ALL OF IT! It will get complicated and full of drama later, but in the end, I'll just write in a huge fucking orgy. I actually need to sleep now because I have an AP US History Midterm tomorrow, and it's 2:10 am. G' night, guvnah.