So this chapter is obscenely short and has a terrible ending. I'm very sorry. It also isn't proofread or double checked. Still sorry. But in my defense I have spent the past 7 hours sitting in an ER waiting room because my boyfriend's mother is apparently allergic to her new last ditch effort chemotherapy treatment. It's been a long and terrible day. So now it's 11:30 at night and I'm baking cinnamon rolls and watching Ghostbusters because at this moment nothing in the world is okay except Ghostbusters.
~Renee
Tony leaned against the door, pressing his ear against it. There was some sort of commotion outside, sounded like something heavy was being dragged up the hallway. Were they being barricaded in?
Oh that was bad.
Tony pulled away from the door, stifling a cough, his stomach twisting. The window was shatterproof glass, a bullet wouldn't get through it, and there was no other exit than the door.
He bounced back on his heels and took a deep breath.
Okay. This is bad. Not terrible yet. No one's bleeding, concussed or poisoned, so it's not like we haven't been in worse situations. I can make this work….Gibbs isn't poisoned is he?
He looked worriedly over at his friend who was also studying the door with calculating eyes.
No. He's fine. And if he was poisoned the only solution is still to get out of this room.
Tony flattened his ear against the wood again and idly rubbed his aching chest. It was silent in the hallway. Didn't even sound like the guard was there anymore.
Well that was something to work with.
Gibbs seemed to reach that same conclusion as he broke the silence that had been wrapped around the room for the last hour or so and turned to Tony, still not looking as concerned as Tony believed the situation warranted.
"Back-up's taking a while," he mused, running a hand over the solid door.
Tony started in surprise and winced. Damn his head hurt.
"What? Backup? Oh yeah. I'm sure Tobias has rallied the troops by now."
Gibbs looked confused and he leaned against the wall to watch Tony. "Fornell? This a joint operation?"
Tony snorted. "Yeah, like Jenny would share the credit."
"So why is he involved? Where's the NCIS team?"
Tony opened his mouth and promptly shut it again with a snap.
"DiNozzo? Where's your back-up?"
He moved away, back to the window. Maybe he missed something there…
Gibbs followed him, his eyes narrowing. "DiNozzo!" he barked.
Tony sighed. "I didn't have any support on this. It was just me."
Gibbs took a half step back. He may not remember express details about his team, there was still chunks of time missing, but he still knew protocol.
And this? This was so wrong.
"No. No, because you're not that stupid. You wouldn't come into this alone. Why the hell did you allow this to happen?"
Tony snapped to attention and swiveled around.
No. Just no. He didn't get to do this. He didn't get to come back into his life and have this attitude. He'd take the accusations of being a poor leader, he could take the rudeness and the bitter tone, but this was his line.
"Why did I allow it? Do you really think I had a say in anything that happened? That I could change single thing since you left?" He shook his head and stepped up to Gibbs, crowding his space. His voice was going hoarse and his chest was tightening as he yelled, but he really didn't care. "I had two options Gibbs. Either I took the mission or I was out a job. That's what I was left with. And don't think I didn't consider leaving, but that's not what we do is it? We don't leave our people high and dry, we don't abandon our family. I stayed, I did my job and I'll be damned if you tell me I wasn't good at it. For three months I've handled this on my own and I was fine. No Ziva and McGee, no Abby and no you."
Tony blinked and suddenly realized what was happened. He was yelling. He was angry. And he was taking it out on Gibbs.
What am I doing? I'm supposed to be getting him out of here, not screaming at him. Is it even him I'm angry with? If anything I should be furious with Jenny I knew from the beginning that-
He closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose. He took a shaky breath, but was pulled from his thoughts when he felt something grip his arm.
"No one knew. The team didn't… no one picked up on it." Gibbs stared at him, something achingly familiar in his eyes and his fingers tightened on Tony's wrist. "Tony… I didn't..."
Tony let the older lapse back into silence and he marveled at the almost apology he received. He had expected something much different. A pushback. Not the almost palpable guilt. Tony felt his anger begin to flicker away. This stuttering reaction was closer to an apology than he had ever received before. He's take it. Tony patted the hand still gripping his arm and gave the barest bones of a smile.
"It's fine Gibbs. I've been fine. I'm handling it."
"Yeah, I can see that."
Tony felt himself tense up but there was no malice in Gibbs' words. Just resignation and lingering guilt. He knew what he had left Tony with. What he had done to the younger man with both his abandonment and his return.
Something else pricked on the back of Gibbs' mind though.
He shouldn't have been sent out alone. Going without backup? That was so many miles past protocol, past even what Gibbs himself had done during his times undercover. There was always people ready to help, people who were aware of the situation and helped keep things in check. An operation with no one but the agent, a director and some techies who helped make the background?
That wasn't… that just wasn't.
The rage was growing, overpowering the guilt and building behind his eyes. Tony took a step back. He'd seen that anger before, and he didn't want to be in it's firing range.
"Gibbs?" he asked hesitantly.
The man's hands spasmed, gripping Tony's arm tighter. "She sent you out alone. Against a known arms dealer. For three damn months."
Tony frowned. This had been established.
"Anything could have happened. Hell anything did happen! Look at where we are. Is she..." Gibbs trailed off, his nails biting into Tony's wrist.
"Gibbs. It's okay." he murmured, shifting his position to take some of the pressure off his arm.
"No, no it's not. This is as far from okay as we can get. When I get a hold of her-" He abruptly let go and looked down at the arm with regret. The man stared at the floor for an endless minute, his fingers twitching, before he looked up and met Tony's concerned gaze.
"We're going to fix this. Tony, I'm sorry." he said simply.
Tony's mouth swung open.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
The word seemed to bounce around the room, filling the corners and the empty space.
Sorry.
There was so much there. In that word he could hear everything, the regret for leaving him, not giving him the benefit of the doubt, listening to McGee and Ziva without checking the fact.
For not being there.
Tony extended a hand, reaching for something, though he wasn't sure what. "Gibbs-" he was cut off, hard and fast and painfully by a coughing fit. It wrenched from his lungs and made his knees shake. He curled at the waist, his arms retreating back to wrap around his chest. He tried to pull in a breath but choked on the incoming air, unable to get it to his desperate lungs. He couldn't stop coughing.
"Tony!" Gibbs' voice was hazy and when he looked up he couldn't get his eyes to focus.
Gibbs!
The word wouldn't come, and grey spots began to dance across his vision. He could see Gibbs lunge towards him, but before he could react, the room went black.
Xxx
Abby bounced from one foot to another, glancing worriedly at Palmer standing next to her.
"Should we do something?"
Jimmy shrugged, looking at the scene in front of him with irritation. This was getting them absolutely nowhere and the lab was feeling increasingly claustrophobic.
Abby bit her lip and tried again. "My babies don't like shouting. And if the Director kills Ziva, we'll have an international incident. If Fornell kills the director I'm almost positive he'll be arrested." Abby paused, distracted by a wandering thought. "If she dies who's in charge? Do we get to vote someone in?"
Jimmy raised an eyebrow. "That really what you're worried about right now?"
She shook her head and turned her attention back to the smoldering argument.
Tobias was in the director's face, his finger pointed sharply at her while his accusations were flung.
"I warned you Shepherd, I told you something like this would happen, damn it! I told you! Whatever happens here is on your head and if Tony-"
Tim flittered around the two, murmuring reassurances and trying to diffuse the situation. He looked between them and met eyes with Palmer. He wasn't exactly sure what the medical assistant's role was in all of this, but he seemed pretty invested.
Jenny flung her hand down, cutting off Tobias' words. "My fault? I was not the one who's been feeding information to La Grenouille! If anything I'm-"
Tim paused next to her, his hand shaking slightly as if he wasn't sure if he should touch her or not. "Director, I don't think-"
Tobias pushed him, albeit gently, out of the way. "Oh please! You knew this was dangerous and you knew it was wrong but did-"
"Enough!" Jimmy stepped up, his hands spread, pushing the two away from each other and gaining a look of appreciation from McGee. "This is doing nothing to help Tony. You two want to rip into each other? Great. Do it after we get Tony back and checked into a hospital."
"Hospital?" Abby moved forward, her eyes wide and filling with tears. "Why does Tony need a hospital?"
McGee blinked. Tony was sick. He had forgotten in all the chaos. Was it worse than he originally thought? Was Tony in actual danger?
Tobias took a step back and drew a deep breath. He knew this was wrong. He needed to focus. Help DiNozzo. A screaming match wasn't doing much for anyone.
Director Shepherd continued to glare at the FBI agent but stopped yelling. There was a collective breath of relief though the tension was still thick in the air.
McGee elbowed his way past Tobias and Shepherd and echoed Abby's question. "Why does Tony need a hospital?"
Xxx
Gibbs caught Tony before he hit the ground, just barely shouldering his weight in time to keep him from slamming into the hardwood floor.
"Tony? DiNozzo!" He shouted but Tony didn't react. Gibbs quickly lifted him and carried him over the twin bed placed in the corner. "Tony?" He pressed a hand against his forehead and frowned at the heat pulsing off of it.
The man was trembling underneath his hands, and Gibbs blanched when he saw the state his former agent was actually in.
He was pale, unbearably pale. Dark circles under his eyes that only seemed darker with his hair falling over his face. Gibbs brushed some of the tangles away from his eyes and frowned. He didn't remember Tony every keeping his hair this long.
Or being this thin.
He had lost a lot of weight.
Something here was wrong. More than just being sick, there was something, something he couldn't quite catch on to. A familiar ache started behind his eyes as he strained to remember.
"Is he going to be okay boss?" McGee looked worried. More worried than he had ever seen him.
"If he isn't, he's answering to me." There was fear there. Open blatant fear disguised by anger. He was afraid.
Gibbs shook his head and ran a gentle hand over Tony's brow, smoothing the worried gathering. "Come on DiNozzo, you know I hate unanswered questions. Help me out here."
Tony stirred under his touch and blinked heavy eyes. "Gibbs? What are you doing?" his voice was rough. Pained. "What's going on?"
He tried to sit up but Gibbs pushed him back down. "No, stay put. You're… sick."
Gibbs looked confused, like he knew there was something he needed to be worried about, something that he should be doing, but it wasn't clicking. Tony grabbed his arm and squeezed it gently.
"Gibbs, I'm fine. I promise. We have bigger things to worry about."
"He's dying." Kate. Crying.
Gibbs blinked. No. No this was important. He knew it was. "Tony-"
Tony pulled in a shaking breath. "Gibbs it's… do you smell smoke?"