Chapter 9

He didn't know what to say. He wished to keep any memory of Xigbar as far in the back of his mind as possible, but at the same time, he didn't want to completely blow off the person who just saved his life. Riku sat there, still frozen from the terror of the nightmare, trying to figure out what to say.

"With all due respect Master Aqua, it's just too personal."

"I understand." Aqua responded. "I won't press it further, but if you ever need a confidant, you can talk to me. It's the least I can do after you came and rescued me."

"Well, that's quite all right, but I already have a good confidant in Sora. He's stuck with me through everything." Riku said, smiling as the thought of Sora's goofy grin crossed his mind, only to quickly fade as the image of him dying in his arms resurfaced. He reminded himself again that it was only a dream, but could not stop a couple of tears from escaping as he tried to chase the image from his head.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Aqua asked, not at all blind to Riku's distress.

"I-i'm fine, just got something in my eye..." Riku answered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Don't have to be ashamed of crying, kupo! I've seen plenty of grown men break down in my shop. It's just the fact that you're relieved!"

"Lea... Aqua... why is there a Moogle here?" Riku asked, startled by the appearance of the strange little creature.

"He's been trapped down here too. And he's been really generous, it's thanks to him that you've been able to recover. Bringing him back to the realm of Light was the least we could do in return."

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"He's scared, you know..." Lea said to Aqua quietly as their small group wandered away from the village. "Because of the upcoming war. He's afraid something is going to happen that will get his closest friends killed."

"That's a legitimate fear. Why would he be so afraid to talk about that?"

"Riku's proud. He won't let his fear or distress show that easily, thinks it's a show of weakness. What you saw out of him earlier was actually unusual. He obviously trusts you enough to let his guard down around you, even briefly."

Aqua studied Riku, noting the thick tension that hung around him almost constantly. He always stood at a stance, ready for battle or flight if needed. His weapon was always out. She initially thought he was like that because he was unaccustomed to the darkness, but Lea had just confirmed that he was always like this.

"He must have been through a lot to be like that..." She noted aloud.

"You've only scratched the surface. I think the only one who knows the full extent of his troubles is Sora, but I know he's been through some rough patches since I joined them."

"Don't say another word..." Aqua said warningly, feeling like Lea was about to breach a part of Riku's story that he had no business bringing up.

"You remember Braig, don't you?"

Aqua's face darkened.

"Don't remind me about him!" The man had leagued himself with Xehanort, meeting her in battle to buy the bastard time to bring his plans to fruition.

"His nobody was twice as sadistic. Glad he's at least out of the picture. He was the one who tried to rip Riku's heart out. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one who raped him in Organization XIII's dungeon too."

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The sound of a sharp, resounding smack broke the silence, making Riku spin around, alarmed. Though he was relieved to find that there were no enemies in the immediate area, his relief quickly turned to chagrin when he saw Lea clutching a bloody nose, with a very angry Aqua turning to reprimand him. She had punched him

"Wha...what part of 'Don't say another word' did you not understand? That was a cruel and personal topic, and one that was not your's to discuss! Don't you ever think?"

"What did you say to her?" Riku exclaimed, turning to Lea. "I swear, Lea, if we lose an ally because you want to say insulting things to people, I will..."

"I wasn't even talking about her! Okay! I just thought she ought to know about who we've had to deal with, what they've done to us, to you!"

Riku froze in place, his face turning a bright shade of red, rage beginning to bubble under the surface.

"And just what did you tell her, Lea? Going around saying stuff that's not your business to discuss? You're lucky my strength is not at it's fullest right now, or I'd send you to oblivion!" His voice shook with anger and humiliation.

"Riku, it's not like that..."

"Don't talk to me!" Riku exclaimed, storming off into the distance. He was angry. He was beginning to wonder just how much of the world was going to learn of his darkest memory by the time the war started. That he had the last of his innocence stolen from him by one of Organization XIII's most sadistic members.

Xigbar liked to play cheap. Sora had nearly died in battle with him once because he spammed his attacks mercilessly. Riku's own first encounter with him had nearly gotten him a bullet crystal through the heart, had it not been for... something he couldn't even remember now.

Riku's most recent encounters with him were even worse. When he tried to escape from the dungeon in the World that Never Was, Xigbar was the one who caught him, breaking his leg to deter another escape attempt, and brutally raping him to break his spirit. The man had not had his fill after the incident though. The same day Sora and the others had come to rescue him, Xigbar had tried to murder him with a weapon that had become known as a Draining Blade, which was imbibed with dark magic that ate away a victims mana, energy, and ultimately their life force.

Sora had witnessed Xigbar stab him with the blade, and was forced into battle with him. Xigbar must have met a crushing defeat, because months later, he came back for Sora. Riku had followed them to an abandoned house in Hollow Bastion, where he saw Xigbar torturing him. It was too much to bear, and Riku had begged the man to take him in Sora's place. Xigbar used the opportunity to try and tear out Riku's heart, and would have succeeded if Sora did not kill Xigbar in a moment of protective fury.

Xigbar was gone, but not from Riku's memories. He kept having nightmares, and had become afraid of sleeping at night because of them, to the point where Yen Sid had to force him into an enchanted sleep on two occasions. There was a looming fear growing that he would lose the title of Master if this continued, so he tried to keep his thoughts concealed. He did not want to show any signs of weakness, not even to his friends.

End of Chapter 9