Hello everyone, I am trying desperately hard to keep on top of updates, but I promise there will be at least two each week for the forseeable future! Hope you enjoy this little snippet! Thank you so much for your support!
Stay well!
Slightlynerdy.
Wolves and Hounds.
Chapter 31.
She laid as still as a stone beside Renly who slept on his side. A sheen of sweat covered his body visible due to a fraction of moonlight seepinginto the room from the slightly open curtain. She felt nauseous as she replayed what happened last night between herself and her new husband through her head. He had been none the wiser that she hadn't been a virgin and she had been surprised that he had even managed to become aroused. She laced her fingers over her stomach and stared wide eyed at the bed's dark red canopy.
Her thoughts swirled around her mind, the events from earlier in the night burned into her memory, the feeling of Renly lying on top of her as he spent himself within her sent her mixed messages. She loved Renly, but not as a wife should love her husband, she rolled onto her side and gazed at his features. Perhaps she could learn to love him.
After a few moments in lying in absolute silence she got up gingerly, grabbed the silk robe that had been left for her and wrapped in around herself, covering her nakedness with it. She then tiptoed to the door, looking back briefly at her husband still in bed, lying on his stomach, the covers covering just his lower half. She pushed the door open and held her breath before sneaking out the room and into the dark hallway.
She ran her fingers across the rough surface of the stone walls as she went through the twisting corridors of the Red Keep. The stone floor was cold against her feet as she slipped down the stairways and further into the bowels of the keep. She moved past guards who were falling asleep at their posts and ventured into the empty kitchens. Taking a sharp right she went into the servants quarters, counting the doors until she came to the one that she hoped was Sandor's.
She didn't knock, she turned the handle and let herself in. A candle still flickered on the table and wine bottles laid scattered across the floor. Sandor laid passed out on his bed, shirtless, his arm covering his face. She closed the door and crept towards him, sitting on the edge of the bed she brushed some of his hair from his scar and gently kissed his crooked nose.
She didn't know how long she sat there watching him as he slept. He looked so peaceful, his chest rising and falling with every breath he took. Hot tears began to roll down her cheeks and a lump formed in her throat.
What have I done? Why did I allow myself to be forced into marrying Renly? Why was I not brave enough to stand up to my father, to tell him the truth that I wished to be with a Hound and not a Stag? I have given up my own happiness so that others may be content. I have given up what I crave and desire so that my father may have the connections to the south that he needs. She touched Sandor gently on the cheek, tracing the swirling patterns of his burns, I should never have allowed myself and Sandor to happen, we both knew, deep in our hearts that this dalliance would not last.
She stood. She had spent too much time away from Renly and now she had her duties as his wife to fulfil.
"Morning my love." Renly rolled over and kissed her chastely. He stretched his arms out and grinned, "Our first day together as husband and wife." He kissed her again before getting out of bed and heading for the bathroom. She curled up into a ball, her mouth still retaining a sour taste from the combination of her sleep medicine and the anti-pregnancy drug she had taken once she had gotten back from her trip to Sandor's room. She had promised herself that she would not fall pregnant, not in Sandor's presence, whilst in King's Landing. So she had made a silent request to Tilly, who she knew could be trusted, to procure something that would stop her from conceiving.
When Renly returned he held out his hand a sign that she should get out of bed, "Come, let us go and break our fasts."
She stood, and reached quickly for the robe that she had worn during the night to her visit to Sandor, covering herself up before taking the blue dress and undergarments from off a chaise that a handmaiden must have left there. She proceeded to get dressed and Renly stepped up behind her, delicately lacing the back of her dress together. She looked down at the ground and closed her eyes, imagining that it was Sandor standing behind her and not her husband.
"I didn't know you could lace up dresses."
His fingertips brushed the skin of her neck as she kissed her shoulder, "It's not so different from lacing yourself up in the leathers you wear beneath armour. You look beautiful in blue but we must have some more dresses commissioned for you, bright ones, a dress in every colour of the rainbow."
She turned around to face him and laughed, "You really are obsessed with the rainbow aren't you."
He grinned and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "It is a dream to have my own Rainbow Guard of knights, each one with their own colour." He cupped her cheek, "By the Seven, it is a relief to have a wife, now my brothers can stop harassing me over when I am going to marry and have children."
She stepped away from him, hanging up her robe before hanging up his, "There have been many rumours floating around court that suggest that you aren't even interested in women Renly."
A brief moment of silence lapsed between them, she glanced over her shoulder to see Renly's expression but he seemed calmly indifferent to her bold statement, he shrugged his shoulders, "People find some sort of guilty pleasure in response to gossiping about people's private lives, especially rich and noble people such as us, but did I not prove my orientation last night. You were certainly not complaining." He winked and she turned away, blood rushing to her cheeks.
She admitted freely that she had enjoyed last night but it hadn't been on the same level as her time with Sandor. With Renly it had just been purely physical, she had felt nothing when he had entered her, but with Sandor… With Sandor it had been different.
She felt his hands on her waist and his voice close to her ear, "Right, enough with making my lovely wife blush so prettily, I am absolutely starving. Come, let's go and hear my brother's insinuating comments, and feel Cersei's cold glares upon us, hmm?"
She rested his hands over his, she had to act the part of a doting wife, she didn't want to make Renly miserable just because she was. "Yes, lets."
"Ah, look it's the newlyweds. How did my brother treat you last night Tarynn, eh?" The king laughed heartily as Renly pulled out her chair so that she could sit down.
She decided to respond in kind, "He treated me very well in fact brother, quite satisfactory…" She froze as she looked up, looming over Joffrey was the Hound, his eyes grey steel which bore into her own, she bit her tongue. "But perhaps this is not the conversation to have whilst breaking our fasts."
"I agree." Cersei's tone betrayed her boredom and distaste as she sat in between her youngest children, Myrcella and Tommen.
"I hope you don't mind us requesting that you dine with the Baratheons from now on Tarynn, after all you are part of the family." King Robert was busily stuffing his face with every morsel of food within reach but he still somehow managed to talk at the same time.
"No not at all. It's nice to be accepted so readily." She caught Sandor's gaze but quickly looked away, the guilt threatening to swallow her whole.
"Are you my auntie now Lady Tarynn?" Myrcella looked at her with wide, green eyes, her blonde hair had been neatly plaited back from her innocent face.
"Yes Myrcella, you can call me Auntie Tarynn."
The girl grinned, "It's nice to have an auntie, all I used to have was four uncles."
She smiled, Myrcella was truly a sweet creature, shame her mother was such a bitch.
"You see Myrcella now that I have a wife your name day presents will be ten times better because she will know exactly what to get you and you won't have your clueless uncle trying to guess." Renly took a bite of toasted bread.
Myrcella rolled her eyes at her uncle, before directing her gaze at Tarynn again, "Uncle Renly always gets me bad presents. Last year he got me a toy bear. I hate toy bears. I much prefer unicorns."
Tarynn laughed, "Well I will make sure that we get you a toy unicorn."
"And can I please have a toy kitten!"
Robert chortled as Tarynn responded with a kind grin, "Of course Tommen."
She felt Renly squeeze her leg just above her knee, she turned to him and he mouthed to her, "They love you."
She glanced at Joffrey, the boy stared with disinterest at her, his green eyes spiteful and his lips curled up into a foul sneer.
She sighed.
Not all of them.
She walked with her husband and brother in law through the gardens. Robert puffed as he walked briskly across the pathways and under arches whilst Renly held her hand loosely. The men talked about the upcoming hunt and Tarynn was bored. Her eyes followed the dancing petals that had shaken loose from their branches and floated lazily in the still air. Occasionally Renly would point out some sort of exotic flower, pick it and hand it to her, she now had an assortment in her hand. Tulips, Baby's Breath, a rare flower from Pentos which only grew in temperate conditions called Dragon's Breath, pansies, you name it she was probably grasping it in her hand.
"So your men have been tracking the boar for what, the past two weeks?"
"Yes. Then we can swoop in, kill it and it will be boar for supper."
"Take all the glory and do none of the work. Sounds about right brother."
"Well you know me Renly… I hope you don't mind me stealing your husband away Tarynn but if I don't take him out for exercise he is most likely going to start piling on the pounds now that he doesn't have to worry about attracting a wife."
"No, not at all, have him for as long as you want."
"Very generous of you my darling wife, I would have thought you would have wanted me all to yourself," His tone was suggestive but she brushed it off. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Loras walking along on his own, Renly must have spotted him too because he looked up and over her head, a wistful look in his eyes.
"If you would excuse me gentlemen I see Ser Loras over there, I wish to thank him for the wonderful wedding gift that the Tyrells gifted us."
Renly's voice was distant, "Of course my love, give him my thanks as well." He stooped and kissed her on the cheek. Finally she was free.
She walked quickly over to where Loras stood next to one of the many fountains that decorated the gardens of the Red Keep. "Ser Loras!"
The young man looked up, "Oh, Lady Baratheon." Tarynn pushed down the surge of distaste she felt when Loras used her new married name. There was a hint of jealousy in his tone that she also picked up on.
"How is your day going?"
"Well… I… Renly came to see me earlier this afternoon."
"You do not need to tell me when Renly comes to visit you Loras, I am his wife, not his keeper. Come, let us walk and make use of this beautiful day." Loras took her arm and together they walked back towards the Keep, her interest was piqued and although she wanted to keep hers and Renly's extramarital dalliances separate she could not help but ask what happened when Renly went to visit Loras.
"He spoke of his desire to have children and that he does have feelings for you but at the same time he can't just ignore me." She nodded and Loras continued, "He has no idea that you've allowed us to continue our… Well…"
"Affair?" She offered the word helpfully.
"Yes."
"And does he wish to continue it?"
Loras swallowed before responding, "Yes."
She let out the breath that she had been holding, "Good. It means that I won't feel guilty for conducting my own."
Loras stopped walking and turned to face her, "You know every fibre of my being is screaming at me, saying that this arrangement is wrong…"
"I understand what you are saying but I am doing this in order to maintain Renly's happiness. I do not want him to be miserable and if I force him to give you up then that is going to make him miserable and most likely a nightmare to be around. I also do not wish to force myself to only sleep with a man who I do not love, it would be a dull and depressing relationship if I remain faithful to a man who I feel little for."
"You may learn to love him."
She smiled sadly, "I might… And when that day comes I am sure that I will ask for you to stop your relationship with him, but by that time I am sure you will have your own wife to satisfy your needs." Loras pulled a face and Tarynn laughed, "Keep your options open Ser Loras, you may enjoy a woman's company."
She sat at the desk in her new quarters as Tilly went about righting everything and hanging her clothes up beside her husband's, relishing in the few hours of solace that she had been given by Renly, they had only been married a day and already her responsibility of acting as an appropriate wife had already been set in motion. She had been with Renly for the majority of the day, being paraded around by Renly to show everyone that he had finally procured himself a wife. She had smiled politely and thanked everyone for their congratulations whilst playing the part of the excited new wife.
She had just finished penning a letter to her mother, telling her the details of her wedding and lying about how happy she was about the match. She sealed it with the sealing stamp that Renly had allowed her to borrow, the outline of a stag visible on the warm wax before setting it aside and allowing it to dry.
The letter from Winterfell she had received yesterday still had not had its contents read. She toyed with the corners of it before standing up, her mind made up.
"Excuse me for a little while Tilly, I'm just going to go to the Godswood to… Ask for the Gods blessing on my marriage."
"Of course. Bronte and I should have finished by the time you returned."
"Thank you."
Taking the letter with her, the Lady Baratheon exited her bed chambers.
The City glittered with light and the sound of celebration floated towards where she stood on the walkway. The people were still rejoicing about the wedding and the large amounts of food and wine that she had ordered to be dispersed among them. Her own gift from the rich to the poor. She leant forward and carefully opened the letter.
There were two separate pieces of parchment:
Lady Tarynn,
Congratulations on your impending marriage, we are all very happy and excited for you, although I must admit that I thought I would not live to see the day. I have looked over the most recent pieces of your translations of the Valyrian Book. It is very political, the letters indicate the plans and measures that the people of Valyria tried to conduct once Aenar Targaryen's daughter had prophesised the Doom. Though many didn't believe her and thus they stayed on their island and succumbed to whatever it was that threatened them.
It is an interesting piece, and very rare, if only we had a clue of who the author had been we may have been one step closer to uncovering the books secrets. But your translations are getting much better and soon I have no doubt that you will be fluent in High Valyrian, an feat that only the most wise can be said to be possessed.
Again congratulations and also tribulations on your marriage to Lord Renly Baratheon, marriage does not always suit everyone. Gerta sends her well wishes and love as well.
Your servant,
Maester Luwin.
She folded it back up and slid it within the envelope once more before turning her attention to the other letter. She recognised the sprawling handwriting, her brother had written to her.
Tarynn,
Since both mother and father have left Winterfell I am currently the standing Lord of our home. It's exciting! The servants actually listen to me!
I also have to write to you in order to congratulate you on your marriage to Renly Baratheon. I personally don't see what you see in him for I still think you should have married Theon. Who by the way was absolutely crushed when he heard that your wedding was extremely soon. I think you should have given the poor fellow a chance, it would have made an unbreakable bond between the Starks and the Greyjoys and have improved relations with one of our most formidable enemies.
Mother has probably told you of Bran's condition, he is unable to walk and cannot feel his legs but he is alive and well, Summer stays by his side almost constantly. I hope you enjoy married life! I thought I'd never live to see you married!
With love,
Standing Lord of Winterfell, Robb Stark.
She smiled to herself as she refolded the thick paper before looking up and over the shimmering city before her. For once she was alone and away from the turmoil of the Keep, away from Renly's constant talks of love and children, away from her father's haunted gaze. She leant forward, her fingertips running lightly over the cracks in the mortar, she closed her eyes.
"Fine night for a walk."
She remained by the wall, her eyes still closed, "Hello Sandor."
She heard the pop of a cork, and then the pouring of liquid. "Here."
She turned only to be faced with Sandor handing her a goblet of wine, "What's this?"
"What does it look like? Liquid sex, that's what it is."
She took it from him, her hand brushing his, "Are we going to be toasting my marriage." She resumed her position leaning over the wall, holding her goblet over the edge, "I hope that I am barren and that Renly will never touch me again."
"I'll toast to that." He stood next to her as they clinked glasses and she drank deeply, "I wanted to kill that bastard yesterday. Just walk straight into that fucking Sept and run a sword through him. I hate knowing that you belong to him."
"Maybe we should have concocted a plan to poison him at his wedding feast."
She felt a hand on her back, he pulled her closer to him, kissing the top of her head, "I wish we had thought of it sooner."
She sighed, "I don't see the end Sandor, all I see is for the next few years glorified servitude, I will carry his children and warm his bed. I will be seen and not heard."
"Here," He refilled her glass and his own, "I don't want you to leave."
She turned to face him, her hand pressed against his burn, "I wish I had been brave enough to elope with you."
He kissed her roughly, the taste of wine mixed with his own scent lingering in her mouth, "Come on."
He pushed her towards the Godswood. They made love beneath the watching eyes of the Old Gods.
When she returned to her chambers Renly was sat on the edge of the bed staring blankly into space. She brushed off some mud flecks with the back of her hand, he looked up at her briefly before resuming his staring.
"Where have you been?"
"In the Godswood."
"Why?"
"Why else, Renly, my love. To pray."
His shoulders relaxed, "You weren't at dinner."
"I decided to forgo it."
He stood up and approached her, "Do you want something to eat? I can get a servant to bring something up."
"I'm fine. Honestly, I'm not hungry."
He kissed her on the forehead and she froze, hopefully he wouldn't be able to smell Sandor's scent on her, he stepped back slightly and smiled, "Guess we should get ready for bed then."
"Yes. I guess we should."
She retreated into the bathroom with her bed clothes, pressing the door shut behind her she rested against the old oak wood and exhaled. She should not have lain with Sandor in the Godswood, she should have restrained herself from committing such a sacriliege. And yet at the same time she was grateful that they had done it, had given in to impulses, it meant that she could continue her hidden relationship with him.
She sighed, this hadn't worked out the way she had wanted, the way that she had planned. She had hoped to bypass marriage to Renly by recruiting Loras to her scheme, but that had failed on all fronts, Renly truly was a Baratheon; stubborn and relentless. She crossed over to the water basin and splashed her face with the cool clear water before changing and pulling on her white bed slip. She exited the bathroom and returned to her husband.
He was sat up in bed, lazily flicking through a book, her book.
"What are you doing?"
"Browsing your strange tome, what language is this?"
She went to him and snatched the book out of his hands, "Be careful with that, its precious to me." She touched the cover lightly, tracing the swirls on its surface with a fingertip, "It's in High Valyrian."
"You can understand it?"
"Most of it. Sometimes I require help with the translations." She set the book down, trading it for the vial of clear liquid that was her sleep medicine. She downed it in one go.
"Come on, now that you're all drugged up I am sure you are more than ready to come into bed with me." He lifted up the coverlets and she got in.
His hand went to her thigh but she pushed it away, "I'm tired Renly, all I wish is to just sleep." He kissed her shoulder but still his hand wandered, reaching up towards the apex of her legs. She grabbed his hand and held it, asking him once more, "Please my darling, not tonight."
"We've been married for a day and a bit and already I am being told when I can and cannot have sex with my wife… I am leaving for the hunt soon, I wish to have all I can of you before I go."
She relented.
During the night she heard Renly stir and creep out of the bed. She cracked an eye half opened and watched him as he got dressed haphazardly before exited their chambers, closing the door with a soft thud.
He's going to him.
Even though she had consented to Loras continuing his scandalous affair with her husband she still felt a pang of jealousy and a hint of rejection. She sat up and braided her long hair into a simple braid that reached the middle of her back. Securing it with a leather band she got up and went to the window, gazing out and at the stars, she contemplated their alignment, trying to summon up her past knowledge of the stars and their positions.
She felt it oddly relaxing, being able to apply her years of studying to something, it also helped her to organise her thoughts. She stood still, allowing the cool night air to wash over her in bursts, her thoughts rushing around frantically in her mind. After the hunt she would be leaving with Renly to Storm's End where for the foreseeable future she will be living and raising her children.
A light shudder ran through her body as she contemplated what it would be like to give birth, hold and nurse her own children. What would she call them? Would she be allowed to name her children, or will Renly have that honour, absentmindedly she rubbed her belly and pondered what it would be like to carry a child.
She didn't know how long she sat on the window seat staring at the black night sky, her mind wandering, her thoughts crashing into one another like the waves against the rock but she was brought out of her reverie by a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and into the lined face of her father. His eyes were a dull grey, his forehead creased with some unknown worry, under his arm was a heavy book.
"Tarynn." His voice was hoarse, he turned to the desk and quickly lit a candle, throwing the book on the table he started to sift through the pages, she moved towards him.
"Father? Father what's going on."
He flicked through the yellowed pages of the book, "I cannot keep this to myself any longer, I must tell someone else, must share my thoughts…"
She placed a hand on her father's shoulder and he stopped turning the pages, her eyes skimming over its contents;
Steffon Baratheon – Black hair, blue eyes.
Married Cassana Estermont of House Estermont.
Robert Baratheon – Black hair, blue eyes.
Married Cersei Lannister of House Lannister.
Stannis Baratheon – Black hair, blue eyes.
Married Selyse Florent of House Florent.
Renly Baratheon – Black hair blue eyes.
Married Tarynn Stark of House Stark.
She noticed her name, freshly inked in beneath Renly's and turned only to meet her father's expectant gaze. "Yes, you have added my name to the Baratheon House records…"
"No, no." He tapped next to Robert's and Cersei's name at the list of royal children. "Blonde hair… Green eyes." He moved his finger underneath an untidy scrawl which had been made in charcoal, "The seed is strong."
Her eyes scanned the records, noting the hair colour and eye colour, the links became clear.
"The children… They are not Robert's." She looked up at wide eyed at her father at the discovery.
He grimaced as he looked at her with hard grey eyes, "The seed is strong."