New chapter! In this chapter, you will see what becomes of poor, poor, drunk Firestar. Special shout-out to Anna C. Poseidon, because she did me a favor, and her stories are hilarious! As always, CC is welcomed and, as I mentioned last chapter, on the profile of Artemis's Hunters, there is a poll which I would greatly appreciate you voting on. It's this contest between me and some fellow Fanfiction authors for best author, so if you like this story, then maybe, just maybe, you'll vote for me? Anyway, read on, reader.

Chapter 2

Mapleshade POV

"Very, very, well done, apprentice," I said thoughtfully, watching Dapplepaw from my place in the Dark Forest. I leaned forward and listened more carefully.

"Youuuuuu wanna becommmme a worrrrrryor? Worriers ain't noooo funnn, Doodlepaws. Youuuuu mean a warrior?" Firestar rambled, his words slurred. Dapplepaw shifted her paws nervously.

"Um, a warrior sounds nice. Maybe we better have the ceremony later though…" Dapplepaw replied, trailing off when she looked at Firestar. Firestar scoffed.

"Nooo, no young 'un, I'm perfectlllyyyy ablllle, don' worryyy. You'lll get yer ceremonyyy nowww!" he assured her. Look what a piece of rotted fruit does for you.

Firestar ambled out of the den, barely staying upright. Dapplepaw followed awkwardly. When they got outside, Sandstorm yowled in alarm. "Firestar! What happened!?"

Firestar ignored her and turned to Jayfeather, who was frantically angling his ears in all directions, probably trying to find out what was going on.

"Thank ye kindly, blind one! Much obliged for that piece 'o' fruuuit!" Firestar thanked Jayfeather. Jayfeather scowled.

"Let's all gather 'round the campfire now, young un's. I got a tale to tellll! All cats who are hunt enough to old their own prey, come 'ere for the tale of Doodlepaws. Doodlepaws is a worrier now! Yeah! Her nammme shall beeee…hmmm…I know! DoodleNoodle. Everrrryyyonnnee cheeeer nnow!"

'Doodlenoodle' froze like a stiff spaghetti noodle. The whole Clan turned to look at her, except Sandstorm and Jayfeather, who were on their hind legs, looking at Firestar's head like they were searching for ticks.

"There must be a bump or scratch here somewhere; he wouldn't just go crazy…" Jayfeather muttered. Sandstorm looked doubtful.

"I don't know, I mean, he's seen Bluestar go crazy, Spottedleaf die, Honeyfern die, Longtail go blind, Tigerstar killing and being killed, Scourge attacking the clan with BloodClan, Windclan in danger, badger attacks, Cinderpelt dying, his daughter Leafpool banished from medicine cat duties-"

"I get it! But he's not like that!" Jayfeather snapped. Firestar, in the meantime was swaying back and forth, humming the Twilight Zone theme song.

I scratched my claws on a tree to sharpen them, so I was ready for the night's training session. Jayfeather had finally realized that Firestar was drunk, and he gave him some yarrow. Brambleclaw had assured Dapplepaw, or should I say Doodlenoodle, that she would get renamed.

Suddenly Doodlenoodle's sleeping shape appeared next to me. I woke her up with a sharp prod.

"Ow! Oh…Mapleshade. Hello. Hey, I know I promised, but could I not do what people ask? At least not when they are being sarcastic? 'Cause it's gotten me into so much trouble…" she said sleepily. I growled and scratched her ear.

"No!" I hissed. "You must stick to your promise! Do you want to be the greatest warrior ever known? Do you want to live up to your Clan's expectations? Just because you have a slightly unique name-"

"Doodle. Noodle."

"Well, yes, but that's beside the point! Listen, you are going to go through with this, and we are going to train. NOW!"

"…Yes, Mapleshade…" Doodlenoodle said glumly. I nodded in satisfaction, and lunged at her.