Mission Impossible: Housewife

By KawaiPanda

Chapter Sixteen

A GaaIno Love Story

Miscarriage. I had a miscarriage, or rather I was in the process of going through one. By definition, a miscarriage is the spontaneous loss of a fetus before the twentieth week of pregnancy. I was having, if memory served correctly, an inevitable abortion, meaning that the symptoms cannot be stopped and a miscarriage will happen. I don't do drugs and I haven't drunken alcohol since my marriage to Gaara, so that couldn't have factored in. I didn't smoke, and I sure as hell wasn't morbidly obese. I was a normal, healthy young woman. I couldn't understand why I was having a miscarriage, but the doctor informed me that it happened to all kinds of women, and didn't care who was the victim.

Around half of all fertilized eggs die and are lost spontaneously, usually before the woman knows she is pregnant, he had said. Most miscarriages occur during the first 7 weeks of pregnancy, which I had only been about three weeks along. He was going to have me come back in later this week for more tests to make sure the tissue from my pregnancy was leaving naturally. If not, he would have to take me into surgery and get it out before it became infected and I died. And it would be best if Gaara and I didn't try to conceive another child for four to six weeks. He'd been surprised at the thought of us having a child so soon into our marriage, but a lot of young people did these days and it would be nice to be the doctor who delivered the child of their wonderful Kage.

I took his rambling in numbly and as he discharged me, he told me he would keep this a secret.

I walked home in a daze. All in the course of one day, I went from being ignorant of a child growing inside my belly to knowing of its existence only to be informed that my body was rejecting it. My baby.

I wasn't sure how he had thought it was normal. After all, a piece of me was dying. The one function my womb had, and it was killing it! And I couldn't do anything to save it. I was powerless.

A weakling.

One moment I was the path towards becoming a mother, the next I wasn't.

I shuffled how slowly towards my home, flinching at the giggles coming from all the children, their innocent laughter seemed to be a mockery of me.

I wasn't sure I had even wanted a child this soon into my marriage. After all, we had only been married a couple of months. But this was something expected of me. Of us. This union was not one of love but of obligation. We had been forced together, but he was beginning to grow on me. His demonic past, his flaming red hair, the kanji permanently etched in his forehead, even the odd fact that he didn't have eyebrows... I accepted it all.

A flash of a child, our child, what it would have looked like, crossed my mind. He would have had red hair like his father and of course he would have been cute as a button. A son. I didn't know why, but my mind gravitated to the sex of the lost child being a boy. My baby boy.

Tears stung my eyes but I refused to allow them to fall. There was nothing I could do about it anyway. Absolutely nothing.

When I reached the mansion, I realized from the sun setting that it was late. Almost time for the dinner. I sprung into action, throwing all thoughts of what was happening out of my mind. I was in the middle of frying the meat when I heard the front door open. I felt three chakra's enter the building, and knew Gaara was one of them. Taking a deep breath, I lowered the heat on the food so I could tell them the food would be just a bit longer and I stepped away from the stove.

He was already in the room with me, and I tried to compose myself. I truly did, but upon seeing his face, I burst into tears. I didn't remember his arms coming around me, or his hushed and gentle words soothing me.

It stumbled out before I even knew it was going to happen. It was hard, and I cried through the entire time, and then some, but I did it. He had ushered the guests out with a quick apology before asking me what had happened and listened to my broken explanation. After all, he had a right to know, right? He was the father after all.

I explained it as best I could, having to gather my thoughts every so often because of the swell o emotions that drove me into crying.

He didn't seem to hate me, but I couldn't decipher any of his hooded looks when it came to me, the one man I couldn't predict. And of course he wanted to go with me to the doctor's office. I guess to make sure it had all passed out and I that would be fine.

The next few days as we waited had me in emotional hell. He worked from home to keep an eye on me, but every time I looked at him, I burst into tears. He took it in stride, it seemed. Like he knew I didn't hate him or anything, but rather I was imagining our child. And I was in a lot of pain as the miscarriage passed through my body. He held me to him during the night as I cried myself to sleep, and I felt so horrid being unable to keep this child in my womb.

Due to my... illness, he pushed back my introduction to the academy for a couple of weeks so I would have time to... get better.

The day of the visit I wasn't bleeding anymore, and Gaara was all reassuring as the doctor took a look to survey for any problems and went to get back the results from his various tests. When he came back, he didn't have his customary smile. The solemn look on his face said it all.

I blinked, feeling my heart begin to race and tensed.

I sat up. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I... I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I bit out.

"You... you may never be able to get pregnant again."

"W-what?" I whispered.

"There is a lot of damage from the hemorrhage and I'm afraid that combined with the miscarriage, it may have left you unable to carry permanently." I didn't hear anything else he said. With those words, I stood abruptly and walked from the room, headed towards home. It didn't hurt but I couldn't feel anything. I made it to my destination in short time.

It was time for me to leave.

I instinctively headed for the bedroom. I didn't have much, and what I couldn't take with me, I'm sure Gaara could send. I had already pulled my bags out of the closet and started stuffing random articles of clothing into the first bag when Gaara walked into the room. I looked up from my work and stared at him, his eyes were dark.

"What are you doing?" He asked gruffly.

"Packing," I replied as I resumed.

"Where do you think you're going?" He stepped closer to me.

"Home."

He pulled the suitcase from my grasp, and replied, "You are home."

I shook my head at him. I couldn't, wouldn't look him in the eyes. Murmuring, "I failed my mission."

"Mission?" He paused, setting the clothing from the suitcase aside and looking at me.

"I am unable to produce any children. I have failed. I can't be a burden to you any longer... this way you may be able to bear children with someone else." Wasn't it simple? Didn't he understand? My ability to give birth was the only reason why we were even married.

"No," he spoke so lowly, I could barely hear it.

I looked up, surprised by his answer. I repeated him, "No?"

"No. I am not going to leave you."

I blinked at him."You're not. I'm leaving you." Duh. Shrugging, I continued, "It's what's best."

"You are what's best for me."

I shook my head again. "I'm not."

He sighed and took me into his arms, forcing me to look at him. "You're not going anywhere."

A/N: So, I have never had to go through this loss personally, and I had to ask around and look a lot of this up. I'm sorry if this chapter offended anyone in any way, that was not my intent. I hope that this chapter does not turn any of you away from the rest of the story, but should it, I am grateful that you took the time to read this story.