~{Chapter two}~ [Charlie]

"Bella, look at you! You're all old." Jacob chuckled as I approached. Well this wasn't foreseen. I guess I should have known he wouldn't come alone like he usually does. This will make our reuniting smoother though I had no plans to keep up conversation once we were in the car, I suppose now it's a must.

"Hey, Jacob." I replied, forcing a smile. His bear arms came around me tightly and I pushed down the urge to shudder. He was boiling which felt abnormal on my constantly cold sweaty skin, perhaps he developed a thick skin with all this rain. He stepped back and I got to look at him properly. He was a lot taller than I remember, buffer too and his long hair was gone. His cute boy features were replaced with those of a man, it certainly makes it feel like I've been away a lot longer.

"You look tired, Bella. You should try sleeping." Jacob suggested playfully, I wanted to scowl and mutter something along the lines of 'you try sleeping with Edward bloody Cullen in your nightmares' but I did a Renee and simply smiled sweetly instead.

"I'll try that sometime."

It must have had the same effect on him as it does on me because he looked more worried and his smile gradually disappeared. I guess Charlie saw too as he made his way past Jacob and put an arm around me in an awkward but familiar Charlie way. He didn't look much different except now there were more laugh lines around his eyes and his moustache was gone. His hair was still as brown as even though I suspected there may have been some dye in the equation somewhere.

"You look wonderful, Bells. It's great to see you." Charlie murmured, avoiding my eye contact.

"You too." I responded quietly. We smiled half heartedly at each other and then walked with each other towards the entrance, Jacob on my heals all the way to the truck. I was surprised to see Charlie hadn't brought his cruiser but it was a good surprise. I had visions of it being like it was the first time round where everyone knew I was coming and everywhere I went they'd ask if I was Isabella Swan.

"Hello. I'm Edward Cullen, I didn't have a chance to introduce myself to you last week. You must be Bella."

No, I don't want to reminisce over conversations that happened a lifetime ago. It's pathetic. Still being this effected by Edward Cullen was pathetic. Yet here I am, sitting in a truck; wedged in between Charlie and Jacob Black; blinking back tears. The urge to cut was bad right now, my arms and thighs tingled in anticipation like my blood knew it was going to spill again.

"You alright there, Bella?" Jacob asked, glancing sideways at me as he continued driving. This got Charlie's attention too and it was extremely hard not to glare at Jacob for making my facade so difficult to keep up.

"Sure, just tired." I mumbled, closing my eyes and sitting stiffly. At least in the cruiser I would have space to breathe. Jacob didn't ask again or say much to me at all, he mentioned a few people like his dad in small talk but I didn't respond; leaving Charlie to awkwardly pick up bits of lose conversation.

Jacob was good for one thing though, he drove faster than Charlie and we got back to Charlie's in 52 minutes instead of 65. I put a lot of distance between myself and the others once we arrived, I needed time to get my bearings. I can't remember the last time I was that close to anyone let alone for that length of time. My body was cramping all over as well as sweating from where I'd been pressed up against Jacob; that guy is a bloody radiator.

Sue was waiting inside, no surprise. She and her two kids had moved in with him, Renee had told me, though they were staying somewhere else for the weekend while I was here. It was definitely fine by me, the less people around the better. Sue hugged me too. I was grateful to Charlie when he let me go up to my room and sort myself out. I used the bathroom and washed my face, trying not to think too much on Charlie's shaver that was in reach. I didn't have to, not here. If someone found out, if Charlie found out; there would be more questions, more accusations. They'd all know how I felt, they'd all see what I felt and I know they'd hate me for it. I'm a woman now, I can take care of myself; I don't need anybody else.

Jacob didn't stay long after I woke up from my not-so-long-nap that I lied to Charlie about. I couldn't stomach the idea of going down and sitting with them all as a family, Seth and Leah had arrived while I was 'sleeping'. Luckily, they didn't talk much and left around 11. Sue went to bed, apologizing like I was unhappy about such a thing. Charlie and I sat on the sofa next to each other, blissfully ignoring the other's presence. It wasn't until the television was turned off near midnight that I realised I should have ran off to bed when Sue did.

"Bells, I know...we don't talk much." Charlie started rather hastily like he wouldn't get it out at all if he didn't right here, right now. "But I want you to know that I do worry about you and I do care." He paused, watching me but not giving eye contact. "Alright." He muttered when I didn't respond. "Honestly, how are you? I don't want the 'I'm fine' or 'I'm tired'. I want it brutally honest."

How easy it would be to be brutally honest with Charlie. To tell him I'm haunted by a life I didn't get the chance to live, by the people that walked in and walked out again like I meant nothing; by Edward Cullen's break-up words. I couldn't though. I knew very well it wasn't normal to be this...obsessed. To still be this fixated with the Cullen's, to still be smitten with Edward even though he's long gone. He was still waiting for a brutally honest answer though and I had nothing.

"What can I say?" I asked, scoffing with fake amuse. "Things are shit. I'm 25, I live with my mom; I have no social life and I really don't see things getting any better any time soon." I smirked, shrugging. Charlie frowned his concerned father frown. "Look Char- Dad. It's okay. I'm okay, things will be okay. This is not the weekend to be trying to fix things, this is about you and Sue and dancing and cake and happiness." I continued, hoping he was buying all this shit so that I didn't have to hear him talk about me maybe seeing a councillor or perhaps going to a doctor for medication.

"Alright." He nodded. I'm taking that as a dismissal 'alright'. I stood and made a bee line for the stairs. "Bells." Charlie called. I stopped and turned to look at him, feeling anxious and irritated. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" Charlie asked, narrowing his gaze on me as he waited for a response. Sure, like I could tell you about vampires and true-love-that-obviously-wasn't-that-true and razor blades. I doubt that.

"Of course, dad." I replied flawlessly. I should have become an actress. Charlie nodded and I turned, fleeing up to my bedroom and stripping once the door was shut. I climbed under the familiar purple covers and groaned into my pillow. I can't wait to get back to Phoenix. It's worse here than I thought it was going to be.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live."

Fuck off, Edward.

I dreamt of Edward again, of him leaving again. Of his words, again; around in my head like venom burning away in my brain. I watched as he smiled and smiled and smiled and smiled. I screamed and I shouted and I lashed out into thin air. I followed after him and I searched and I called out his name. I tripped and stumbled and I fell. I sobbed and I sobbed and I sobbed.

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