Chapter 4
It was a warm, bright Summer morning. I was walking back from the market after running errands for my Mother, while Loki escorted me home, as was our habit. We were but children then, never a care or worry. We had walked silently and companionably for awhile when I felt something tickle my neck. I brushed at it with the back of my hand.
It tickled again. I brushed it.
Again, that irritating feeling assaulted my neck. I whirled around to see Loki behind me, hand suspended in midair, looking at me sheepishly. But, alas, the apologetic stance was an act, for he dropped the ruse and rushed towards me.
"Don't you dare!" I gasped, skipping back from the dark haired boy in front of me. He smoothed his hair back and seemed to concentrate. I stopped and stared, cocking my head in a puzzled manner. He held his hands out, palms up, as water appeared in his hands and swirled. I giggled and clapped. The water started to solidify, creating a beautifully sculptured rose.
"For you, Sigyn." He held it out for me. I took it gingerly in my hands and marveled at the intricacy and thoughtfulness of the gift. It was cliché, as I understood it, but I didn't care. He'd made it for me, and I was the luckiest girl in all Asgard. I was young, probably fifteen at that time, and didn't quite comprehend the emotions colliding inside me, but I knew that I liked him. He was different, like me. Nobody understood or accepted him, like me. We were the same.
"Thank you, Loki. It's very kind." I smiled and continued walking in front of him, cradling the ice figure reverently. He didn't reply, so I continued on and let him be.
"We grow up when we come to realize that the monsters don't hide under our beds, they live inside us." He spoke darkly from behind me. He was a very strange boy, I knew, but I didn't mind it. No monsters lived inside me.
My memories were plaguing me ever since he returned. I couldn't stop the deluge of emotions and feelings that I had long ago buried. It was a few nights after I had seen him and I couldn't sleep. It was late, I knew that much. My eyes were heavy and my body lethargic, but my mind was alert and kept me from my blissful slumber. I walked listlessly down the hall, my nightgown billowing behind me. The tall windows rose up to my right and showcased the Asgardian sky. Everything was dark and silent so I tried to make my footsteps the same. I slowly found my way to the drawing room, with a perfect view of the moonlit garden. I was lonely and languorous.
I missed him. I'd heard somewhere that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and until now, it had the opposite effect. I loathed him because it was easier than missing him so much I felt I would burst. But since he had returned from Midgard I found I couldn't be mad at him. I had always been like that; I could get very angry, but as soon as I saw him I found it difficult to stay livid. As soon as I saw him today I forgot to breathe. I was still angry, as this wasn't the usual, trivial spat. This was him leaving me to rot without even a goodbye.
"What's kept you awake this late, Lady?" I looked over my shoulder to see a young man, probably about my age, standing in the doorway. I turned completely and furrowed my brows skeptically. I'd never seen him before, it was very late at night, and the house was completely silent. Nobody else was awake. I trained my posture into one of confidence and poise.
"Who are you?" I inquired as though asking a question over tea, not interrogating a man in my home where I was completely alone in the middle of the night.
"I am Agmund Aricson. Your mother invited my family to stay with you, and I came ahead. Please forgive the lateness of my arrival; I underestimated the time it would take to get over the mountain range." He bowed grandly to me.
"Your father is Aric? How do you know my mother?" I pressed.
"Yes, My mother and yours were apparently friends as children and they wanted to see how well our families got along."
"Mother never told me of you." I told him dubiously.
"Did she not? She never mentioned her friend Borghild?" He asked.
I had heard the name before, now that I thought about it. It seemed to trigger memories of my mother talking about a girlhood friend of hers and their happy times together. Nothing in particular came to me, but I knew subconsciously that the man was either telling the truth or had learned very much of my past. I didn't want to think of the latter option, but it seemed to plague me.
"Perhaps she did. Can you tell me of your mother?" I tested airily, slowly walking around the opulent furniture and running my hands along the backs of sofas casually.
"She was the daughter of an Ironsmith in the village yonder. She had three brothers and met your mother when she was very young. They became like sisters and spent every waking moment together. Unfortunately, they parted ways when my mother married an ambassador to Niflheim and your mother went to the Great Library to receive teaching. That is what I know of our mothers relationship." He spoke softly.
"That is what I know, also. I will go inform my mother of your arrival and arrange for a room. Please, sit down." My voice was harsher than I anticipated and the polite words sounded demanding and cold.
But I didn't care. I breezed from the room and nearly ran to my mother. I entered her room without knocking, went to her side, and shook her shoulder gently.
"Mama." I whispered, "Mama, wake up." She stirred and opened her eyes into mine, "Agmund Aricson has arrived and needs rest."
She sat upright and her spine snapped ramrod straight.
"Well, have you made him welcome?" She grumbled.
"I've done my best." I answered mechanically.
"Give him the Blue room and tell him breakfast is at eight. I needn't be bothered with this." She seemed to lose the urgency of her welcome in the prevailing tiredness that flooded her head.
I left her alone and went to the drawing room to find our guest. He'd sat in my favorite chair facing the garden, with his bags tossed haphazardly to the side. I didn't get too close, instead maintaining my twenty-five foot radius I employ for anyone to distrust. I cleared my throat and picked up some of his luggage gingerly.
"I will show you your room now, Agmund Aricson." I told him curtly and left to walk to the Blue Room, not bothering to see if he had followed. If he wished to sleep comfortably tonight, he would walk after me. I stopped at the room and dropped the bag unceremoniously on the ground, "Breakfast is at eight."
"Thank you." Was the response I received before walking quickly to my own bed. I was so very tired suddenly. Sleep would surely put me in a better mood, especially after my emotionally charged day. I remember not what happened next, I was too exhausted, all I know is that the next morning I awoke in my bed, with the dressing gown crumpled on the floor and my candle burned out on my bedside table.
Agmund was a true gentleman to the core. He smiled and made polite remarks and my mother adored him. I found that poking fun of people was generally looked upon as rude and unladylike, but it made life bearable. I ate breakfast with them in a rush, I had much to do today and very little time to do it in. I hastily tied a ribbon in my hair, tugged a lacy shawl on, and smoothed my skirts. After my primping was over I rushed from the house and down the lane.
My mother had given over her position at the Library to me a few months before this account, and I worked there every afternoon, after my studies were over. I was a teacher for the Head Librarian, and I did any odd and end jobs he bothered to give me. I loved it, but it proved to be a rather taxing enterprise. I spent more than ten hours a day away from home, and it took quite a toll on me. Never mind the fact that I suffered intense romanticism and imagined Loki waiting for me around every bookshelf. But that was nothing new, I had dealt with all this before. I studied until noontime and went into the Library to offer my services. I was already tired from my studies and the late night drama, but this was necessary to be done.
"Next time you're going to be late send a messenger." Was his abrupt greeting as I entered his small, ornate office.
"I will, forgive me." I ducked my head meekly while noting that it was only five minutes past noon.
"There is a cart outside the door of books that need to be shelved. When you're done with that come see me." He never looked up from the letter he had been writing. I nodded and left quietly. The cart was right where he said so I pushed it in front of me to the front of the Library. In Midgard I hear the libraries are rather dull and lifeless, but I can assure you it is quite different on Asgard. There are pillars lining the walls and the ceiling is so high it was in another atmosphere. Or, well, I liked to believe it was. I started shelving the books and mentally cursed that their sections weren't anywhere near each other. But then I reminded myself that this was a good experience for me and I shouldn't complain. There was a banging from a few shelves down and I rushed to see what was the matter. It was a little barn goblin flinging books from the shelves and throwing them in all four corners. I sighed and grabbed a decorative spear from a suit of armor at the end of the shelf. Walkign towards the goblin I thrust it towards him and narrowed my eyes.
"Get out, imp! Your kind aren't welcome here, go back to your refuse heap!" I cried, flinging my spear around.
"What are you doing?!" Came an outraged cry from behind me. I turned to see the Head Librarian standing, face red and eyes dark, before me.
"I'm trying to make the goblin leave." I explained.
"That's not important right now! Shelve books!" He commanded. I nodded, put the spear back, and walked back to my cart of books. I heard a murmured incantation and strangled cry from behind me and tried not to think about what had happened. Barn goblins were pests and generally resided in barns and sheds, but occasionally found their way to more populated areas to wreak havoc. Although they were pesky and annoying, I still thought it was morbid to kill them on sight. But that was the way of our society. Nobody spared it a second thought. I reminded myself again that this was a good experience for me and I shouldn't complain. I continued shelving until the day was done.
And that is an average day for me. I lived, I breathed, I endured. I walked to the dungeon mindlessly.
"You came back?" His voice intoned.
"Of course." I acted as though seeing him were an everyday occurrence.
"You shouldn't." He looked at me as though I were an experiment.
"Since when do I listen to you, Prince?" I teased. He seemed unamused, but grinned at me anyway. It made me uncomfortable, "Are you aright?"
"Oh, I'm fine. But how are you feeling?" He asked, suddenly interested in my well being. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Why?" I asked suspiciously.
"I heard you have a visitor." He responded suggestively.
"Indeed, but I do not see how that could mean the slightest thing to you."
"I also heard he intends to make you his bride." He smoothly transitioned from a safe subject to one that I would not tolerate. And his grin told me he knew it.
"That's none of your business, Loki."
"Ah, the lady uses my name. There must be some shred of truth to warrant such a response. Have you found some man who'll take you at last? Miracle of miracles. Does he know the things you've done? Does he know who you really are?" He gazed at me darkly. He'd struck me where it hurt most, and it was the most painful thing I'd endured since he left. All it took was a few of his words.
"You dare? I need not prove myself to you! I have made peace with my past. Perhaps it's time you did, also! There have been many men seeking my hand, don't you mistake that. I am more than what I've done. If you can't see that then the fault is not mine." I finished, nearly crying. I turned on my heel and walked away with my quivering chin held high.
"Sigyn." His voice was low and sad.
I couldn't turn back. Some scars hurt too much.
A/N: I planned on having another explanatory flashback, but I have to leave soon for my 8:30 showing of Thor! So, that'll be saved for later. :) Hope you all liked, please review. I want my writing to get better and I would love constructive criticism. :D Have a great 3 day weekend! If you get one. I have to work. yaaaaayyyy.