Chapter 2

The night before my 18th birthday, when I entered the Queen's study, I was surprised to see her lounging in a new chair next to the fireplace. She seemed lost in thought as she sipped a glass of wine and stared at the as of yet, unlit logs beneath the hearth. I paused for only an instant to take in the perfection of her beauty in that moment. As I felt that now familiar tug in my chest the Queen turned to look at me.

I immediately curtsied and murmured, "Good evening, your majesty."

She smiled and setting her glass to the side, said, "Good Evening, Princess. I thought we might have a short lesson today. There are other things to discuss before we retire tonight. Would that suit you?"

Nervous anticipation swam through me. I had the distinct impression that whatever she wanted to discuss involved the promises she made to me all those years ago. I swallowed my nerves and hesitantly said, "Yes, my Queen. I think that would be good."

"Very well, first you will conjure a chair for yourself. Focus and make sure it matches mine," she said, adopting her usual no-nonsense teacher voice.

I nodded my understanding and focused on what I wanted to conjure. Just as I felt the heady pull of magic in my veins, a chair appeared next to the fireplace. I grinned as I saw that it was an exact replica of the chair the Queen sat in.

"Well done, my dear," the Queen said and I could hear the approval in her voice. "Alright, now light the fire and have a seat," she ordered teasingly.

I turned my grin on her; creating fire was one of the first things she taught me. I barely needed to even think about it to have orange tongues of flame begin crawling along the logs in the fire pit. As I took a seat, I asked, "Was that all the magic you wished for me to practice this evening, your majesty?"

Her eyes twinkled mischievously as she replied, "Yes, dear. I did say it would be a short lesson."

"Well, thank you for the lesson, my Queen," I replied dryly, the look in her eyes making me want to tease her in return.

The corner of her lips twitched slightly in amusement before she replied in an overly gracious tone, "You are quite welcome, your highness."

I laughed, wanting nothing more than to continue the gentle teasing for the rest of the evening. Or if I was being honest with myself, for much longer than that. The sudden sense of yearning for my queen that washed over me caused the laughter to die in my throat. I knew that there was no hope for any sort of future with the Queen. Not only was I still a child in her eyes, I was the child of her greatest enemy. She would never allow herself to return the love I had always felt for her. At this thought, I looked into the fire, trying to hide the tears prickling in my eyes from the Queen.

I could feel the weight of her gaze on me, but I didn't look at her, focusing on the fire until my eyes were clear enough not to betray my feelings. After a long silence, she asked, "Are you alright, my dear?"

"Yes, your majesty," I answered, cursing myself inwardly when my voice sounded thick with my swirling emotions. She didn't call me on the lie; instead she conjured a second glass of wine and silently held it out for me. "Thank you," I muttered taking a grateful sip. For several long minutes, we sat in silence, staring into the flames and sipping our wine. Eventually, I got my emotions back under control and turned to the Queen to ask, "What did you want to speak with me about, your majesty?"

She glanced over at me, an indefinable emotion in her eyes. She sighed and set her wine on the little table next to her chair. "Tomorrow is your 18th birthday, Princess. I promised you that I would offer you a choice. Do you remember?" she asked quietly.

I nodded, "Yes, your majesty. I remember."

She looked away, and said, "Good. Tomorrow, you have the day to yourself. You will not join me in court, or my meeting with the advisors in the afternoon. As tomorrow marks your age of majority, you have finished your formal lessons with your tutors. They will be kept available to you for another year, should you require their assistance with anything, or should you choose to continue your studies. If you choose this, then your tutors will be available for as long as you wish them, or new tutors can be found.

"I have only four requests of you in regards to how you spend tomorrow. First, please do not leave the castle grounds. You may go anywhere you may like, so long as it is within the walls. Second, should the mirror request your attention, please listen to whatever he may show you. Third, please spend at least part of your day tomorrow thinking about what you want for your future. I know that I stole you from the life you were born into, when you didn't even have a voice with which to issue a complaint. After you make your choice tomorrow evening, I will give you anything within my power to give. I stole your childhood choices; I won't do that to your future. I don't want you turning into me." The queen paused, apparently surprised by the honesty of her words. When she turned back at me, I hastily brought my wine to my lips to cover my own shock at the Queen's raw honesty and the certainty in her voice.

She noticed and raised an eyebrow at me, to which I offered a sheepish smile. She took a deep breath and continued, "My final request is that you join me here after dinner, so that I may present you with the choice I promised you. Will you honor these requests?"

I nodded immediately. "Yes, my Queen. Though I must admit that I wish you would dine with me for my birthday," I said earnestly, and then started to mentally kick myself for my presumptuousness.

For a second, a look of longing crossed her features before her carefully composed court mask settled back over her features. Her voice was flat and emotionless as she said, "I'm sorry, dear, but I have many things to do tomorrow and will be unable to join you."

"Of course, your majesty. It was inappropriate of me to say," I said, a sinking sensation filling my gut.

The Queen stood gracefully and said, "Well, Princess it is getting late and we should retire for the evening. I do hope you enjoy your birthday tomorrow."

"Thank you, your majesty. Pleasant dreams," I said before heading towards my suite of rooms.

The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face. I'd had another dream about the Queen and it left me with a delicious heat in my belly and I couldn't wait until I could see her again. I jumped up and began dressing as a knock sounded at the door into my sitting room. "Come in," I called out, shoving my feet into my boots.

A few minutes later, I left my bedroom and saw my maid waiting with my breakfast tray. "Good morning, Suzie," I said cheerfully as I sat at the little table.

"Good morning, highness. Happy birthday," she answered cheerfully.

I smiled at her and pointing to the seat opposite of me, I said, "Thank you. Please join me. You know I hate eating alone in the morning."

Suzie sighed heavily at my break in protocol, but her eyes twinkled playfully. "If you insist, Princess," she said with a mock groan.

I laughed as she sat across from me. I'd been making her eat with me on my birthday for years. Over the course of the light meal, we chatted about the court gossip and my plans for the day. It was a pleasant diversion from the longing I felt for my Queen. It seemed to grow stronger the longer I was awake, and after Suzie left with the empty tray, I could no longer ignore it.

I knew that the Queen would be busy with her official duties by this time of the morning, so with the memory of her words from last night, I closed my eyes and in a cloud of white smoke, transported myself into the Queen's sitting room. As I opened my eyes and took in the elegant room, I felt a momentary twinge of guilt. I quickly reminded myself that the Queen had told me I could go anywhere I wanted today, so long as I stayed inside the castle walls. I grinned, knowing that this wasn't what she had intended. But as I looked around the Queen's personal rooms, which I had never been allowed to enter before, I couldn't ignore the peace I found. The longing I had felt so strongly only moments before seemed to ease instantly.

Before I could puzzle out what this meant, an unfamiliar voice filled the room. "I don't believe that the Queen would approve of your presence here, Princess."

I jumped and spun around trying to find the source of the voice. My gaze finally landed on a blue face looking at me from the mirror next to the hearth. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm my racing heart before I said, "I know, but I couldn't resist." I offered a sheepish shrug and the mirror rolled his eyes at me. I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed out, "Did you just want to lecture me, or did you need something else?"

The mirror chuckled, "I believe the Queen told you that I may have a message for you."

"Yes, yes. What do you want to tell me?" I asked, losing my patience at his patronizing tone.

Instead of answering, the mirror swirled to display an elegant sitting room decorated in white, ivory, and cream colors. I automatically rolled my eyes at the boring furnishings before I focused on the two people sharing breakfast. The woman had fair skin and long curly brown hair, her face aged prematurely from the weight of grief that obviously hung over her. The man was fair haired, though it had gone mostly grey. He had also aged before his time, deep frown lines evident on his handsome face. Even before they spoke, I knew immediately that these were my parents. Not even remembering where I was, I sat on the nearest chair, completely captivated by the king and queen in the mirror.

"Charming, you know this is her 18th birthday?" Snow White asked her husband, pushing away her plate.

"I know, Snow. Do you think that witch is even letting her celebrate?" King James asked, his hatred for the Evil Queen evident.

"If I know Regina, probably not. She probably hasn't even bothered to tell Emma when her birthday is, or who her parents really are. Even if we did manage to rescue her, she wouldn't even know who we are." Snow replied sadly.

"It'll be alright, my love. We'll find a way to save her from the Evil Queen. We always find a way," Charming said, trying to convince himself.

"James, do—do you think that she's—do you think Emma's really ok? I mean what if Regina's violated her?" Snow asked struggling to get the words out.

Immediately, he crossed to her and pulled her into a comforting hug. "I don't know, Snow. With Regina, anything's possible. But no matter what abuses she's inflicted on our daughter, when we get her back we'll find a way to fix Emma," he stated, holding his wife tightly as tears began streaming down her cheeks.

Throughout the scene playing out in the mirror, I felt my emotions run the gamut from curiosity to anger to outright disgust for the parents I'd never known. The mirror swirled again, dissolving the sickening scene of Snow White & King Charming and turning back into a normal reflective surface. I immediately realized two things. One, I had horrified tears running down my face, and two, there were a pair of chocolate brown eyes staring at me. I immediately spun around and seeing my Queen in the doorway to her bedroom I ran to her. I fell to my knees at her feet and threw my arms around her waist. Her hands tentatively came up to cradle my head and shoulders and the first sob came crashing out of my lips.

She held me while I cried, offering me no other comfort than the warmth of her body. Eventually, the sobs slowed enough for me to pull back enough to look up into her carefully impassive face. "How could they say those things about you? How can they even think that about you?" I asked, desperate for her to make sense of the things I'd overheard.

She met my gaze unflinchingly and coldly said, "I've done horrendous things in the name of revenge, Princess. I promise you, I've earned the title Snow gave me."

I shook my head, "If you were truly evil, you would have just slit my throat in the cradle. Instead you took me into your home and hired nannies and tutors to raise me as a princess. Why, your majesty? If you're so evil, why would you do that? Even if you couldn't kill me, you could have made me a servant, the lowest of the scullery maids, forced to do the most menial tasks with only leftover scraps of food to eat. Yet, you did none of those things."

The Queen stiffened under my vehement declaration and stepped away from me to glare down at me. "This isn't the time for this conversation, Princess. Why are you even in here? I don't recall inviting you into my private chambers," she snapped out.

I felt my shoulders hunch under the weight of her anger, and mumbled, "I'm sorry your majesty. I—I knew you were busy, but I just wanted to be near you."

Faintly, I heard the air catch in her throat, but she quickly cleared her throat and asked, "And what made you think I would allow you to be in my room?"

I bit my lip, hesitating before I looked up and gave her an impish grin. "You said I could go anywhere inside the castle walls. I've never been in here before," I explained with a casual shrug.

My admission startled a laugh out of her. "Alright, Princess. I will allow that, even if you're wrong. You have been in my rooms before, though you don't remember it. You were in here the night you were born," she replied, her anger dissipating.

I gave her another shrug and casually said, "I don't remember it, so it doesn't count."

She chuckled and said, "Fair enough. Now go on. Enjoy your birthday somewhere else. I have work to do."

"Yes, your majesty," I answered, smiling at her. I was nearly to the door when I paused and asked, "My Queen, why did you want the mirror to show me that conversation between…them?"

She let out a sigh, and the levity in her eyes fell away behind a haughty mask that hid her true emotions from me. "You're an adult now, dear. You have the right to know who your parents are. It was probably wrong of me not to show them to you before now."

"I think I understand, though it doesn't change anything. I don't regret my life, your majesty," I said softly before turning and leaving the room without waiting for a response.

I made my way down to the kitchens and requested a picnic lunch prepared. I decided to go to the orchard to follow my Queen's wishes and really think about what I wanted for the future. As I made my way towards the Queen's special tree, I found myself thinking about the Queen herself. Unreasonably, I knew that I wanted her to be my future. I was infatuated with her and yearned to be invited into her bed and into her heart. With a sigh, I remembered my lineage and pushed away the thoughts. If I couldn't marry the Queen, what did I want to do or become?

I set my picnic basket on the ground next to the tree and carefully climbed until I was deeply hidden in the branches. I sagged against the tree trunk, absentmindedly swinging my legs as I considered my options. I knew that I could be married off to a neighboring kingdom to gain a political advantage for the realm; but, the thought of being anyone else's wife made my stomach churn. I quickly resolved that I would never marry, since I couldn't marry the one person that made my heart flutter. So, where did that leave me?

This unanswered question circled my mind long past the time I had climbed out of the tree to eat my lunch. Actually, it wasn't until I was headed back to the castle, with the sun dipping towards the horizon that I finally came to a decision for what I wanted to do with my life. The answer was so obvious that I couldn't believe it took me so long to find it. The only real path available to me that would keep me close to the queen I loved would be for me to become a knight of her personal guard. I'd never heard of a Lady Knight, but I knew that with my hard-earned skills I could be invaluable to my Queen. I just needed to convince her and her soldiers. That thought forced a bitter laugh from my lips as I reentered the kitchen to return the picnic basket Cook had given me that morning. It would not be an easy task to convince the battle hardened soldiers to accept me amongst them.

After cleaning up in my room and changing from the pants I had worn throughout the day into a dress, I headed to the dining room for my birthday dinner. I expected to be dining alone, but was pleasantly surprised to see all of my tutors and instructors waiting for me at the large table. They all rose and bowed when I entered. Graciously, I thanked them and sat at the end of the table opposite from the Queen's usual seat. They returned to their seats and the servants quickly bustled in with our dishes. I grinned; Cook had gone all out, cooking all of my favorites. As we settled into our meal, conversation rose around me. Everyone wished me a happy birthday and took turns telling amusing stories from my years under their tutelage. With more grace than I usually exhibited, I accepted the teasing, and actually found myself enjoying the company.

However, as the meal drew to a close, nerves began to dance in my belly. What would the Queen offer me tonight? What choice had to wait until I was considered an adult? Would this be the last time I was permitted to be alone with the Queen? These worries followed me through the halls of the palace as I slowly made my way to the Queen's study. Once I was standing at the door, I indulged in one deep, steadying breath before I knocked on the door. Immediately, the Queen's voice called out a strong, "Come in, Princess," and I pushed open the door.

I stepped inside and closed the door behind me before looking at my Queen. She took my breath away with her beauty. She was wearing a long burgundy dress, with a black leather bodice that put her ample cleavage on display. Her eyes were surrounded by a thick layer of makeup that made it easy to fall into their fathomless depths. Her lips were painted a bright glossy red and seemed fuller than I'd ever seen them. And her hair was pulled up away from her face, before it tumbled down her back in a long tail. Unconsciously, I licked my lips as I struggled to remember how to bring air into my lungs.

Her faintly amused voice brought me out of my reverie. "Happy birthday, Princess. Will you join me by the fire?" she asked, gesturing to the chairs we had conjured last night.

"Y—Yes, your majesty, thank you," I answered weakly, moving over to my chair. The Queen handed me a glass of wine and sat facing me with a glass in her own hand. Once she sat, I took my seat, gratefully sipping from my wine.

"Did you have a nice day?" she asked politely.

"Yes, thank you," I replied, wondering when she would get to the promised business.

She smiled gently and asked, "Did you think about your future? Do you know what you want?"

Something about the way she asked the second question sent a shiver through me and I had to clear my throat before answering. "Yes, your majesty."

A single eyebrow raised and I knew she was amused by me, but she didn't comment on it. Instead, she simply said, "Good," before she sipped her wine. She watched me the entire time and I had to fight my sudden urge to squirm under those eyes that saw too much. She let the tension grow between us before finally putting me out of my misery. "You have been incredibly patient, my dear. I know you have been curious about many things for a long time, and yet for the most part, you haven't asked for answers to your many questions. Two years ago, I told you that I would offer you a choice, and still you have waited. I admire that."

"Thank you, your majesty," I said softly, nerves dancing through me.

She smiled gently at me and took another sip of her wine. She set the cup down and turned to me, her eyes once again shuttered, and her face blank of all emotions. "I want you to carefully consider this offer before you make your decision. The final stages of my revenge against your mother will begin based on what choice you make tonight. The only difference is which of two paths my revenge takes from here. But I have been planning for either option since I first learned that she was pregnant with you. Do you understand?" She explained in a voice as empty of emotion as her face.

I set my wine glass to the side and asked, "Why are you leaving this up to me?"

The Queen's expression immediately turned bitter and cold. She snarled angrily, "Because I will not force an innocent onto a path not of her choosing. I will leave that to Snow White, as she is the expert."

Shame filled me and I looked away from the furious woman in front of me. "I'm sorry, my Queen. I didn't mean to imply you were anything like her."

She sucked in a deep gulp of air and seemed to calm. Quietly she admitted, "I know, my dear. But the truth is I did put you on a path that you didn't choose when you were a baby. I believe that I can reverse the effects in time, if you wish, but I don't honestly no what consequences would come from that now."

"What do you mean?" I asked, completely confused.

She sighed and said, "I suppose I should tell you before I make you choose. Very well, when I first stole you from your parents, I created a potion that bound our lives together. It is the reason you feel drawn to me. It is also the reason that I have temporarily stopped aging. I will begin aging again when you reach my physical age."

Her admission had my mind reeling. Too many questions crowded into my mind at the same time and I reached for my wine glass. "Why?" I blurted out after swallowing the sweet wine.

"To keep you near me until I could complete my revenge, and so I could make the offer I am about to make without becoming the monster of my own nightmares," she said without emotion.

I opened my mouth to ask what she meant about nightmares, but realized that I had no right to the knowledge. Finally I nodded, accepting her reasons. I wasn't angry, just confused as to what plans she had for me. "What choices are you offering, your majesty?" I asked resignedly.

Apparently that wasn't the reaction she expected because her eyes flew to my face. She studied me intently before a familiar emotion passed over her face, one that I immediately recognized as nerves. She took a small breath and said, "Your choice is this, return home to the parents who have nearly destroyed their kingdom out of their love for you, or stay here and be mine."

The words were simple, but they carried a wealth of emotion and implications that made my head spin. "W-Wh-what do you mean by being yours?" I asked breathlessly.

She smirked at me, and dropped her voice into a throaty purr, "It would mean that you would give yourself to me and let me claim your body as my own."

A shudder ran through me, desire rushing in its wake. I tried several times to speak, but my voice had left me as my deepest fantasies played through my mind. I could feel my skin heat in reaction and I shook my head to clear my mind. I swallowed hard and finally found my voice. While I desperately wanted to just shout out my choice, the rational part of my mind demanded one answer first. "Why wait until I turned 18? I know many girls are married and bare children of their own long before they are considered adults."

The Queen got a faraway look in her eyes and her voice was full of regret as she answered. "I was forced into a marriage bed when I was 16. I was too young to be truly prepared for what I experienced and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. That is why I have waited."

My heart broke for the Queen, and I softly said, "I'm sorry, my Queen."

She looked at me with eyes that had gone flat again. "It isn't your fault, Princess. I lay that blame completely on your mother's shoulders." She saw my confusion and waved away the question that didn't even have a chance to reach my lips. "Later. Do you know your answer? Or would you like more time to think about it?" Neither her voice nor her face betrayed any emotions, but I noticed a faint tremble in her hand as she reached for her wine glass.

For a moment, I let myself wonder why she would be nervous or scared if she had planned for either choice. But I shrugged it off as I finally realized exactly what my next words could mean, all of my longing, hope, and love for the Queen wouldn't have been in vain. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but her words had promised a deeper connection between us, and I would do anything to be closer to her. As the reality of what was happening settled over me, a wide grin spread across my face and I quickly moved off my chair to kneel at the Queen's feet. My voice shook with excited anticipation as I said, "My Queen, I don't really see this as a choice at all. I am yours. I have always been yours."