Here we go, the next part. Freshly baked for you :D

And, YAY, thanks for the reviews!

BrightAsNight: We love Phil for being Phil, don't we? *sighs*

vampqueen440: Thank you so much :D

Alonia187: Yeah, poor John… And, well, about Randy and a treatment… John has a plan and I guess you'll like it ;3

Bluestar711: Thaaanks :-) And I guess you'll love even more what's about to come :3

leoxrko: Thank you!

Guest: Oh, now I got it ;-) Sometimes I'm a bit slow on the uptake O.o

Vindictive John Dark Fantasy: Triangles are always… interesting, aren't they? But, well, you'll have to wait a bit for the rest ;D

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Rising from a peaceful darkness, he slowly drifted towards consciousness. And with the consciousness came a massive pounding in his head. John groaned weakly and turned his face further into the softness that was pressed against the side of his face. Soothing warmth, laced with a familiar scent engulfed him.

It hadn't been a bad dream. He knew it, because the pain was still there, threatening to tear him apart.

Randy…

His throat began to burn, just as his eyes and he started to weep quietly, but there were no more tears left. A sob escaped his lips…

"Ssh, Sunshine…" a gentle voice whispered.

Soft fingers brushed over his back, soothing, offering comforting touches.

"Phil… It hurts so much…" he whispered back, shaky and full of desperation.

A kiss was breathed to the top of his head and Phil's arms pulled him closer.

"I know. It'll be alright."

Another kiss and the fingers continued to brush over his back, over his shoulder to his nape and back and John wrapped his own arms around the younger man's waist. He was grateful that Phil didn't ask what had happened, although he wished he could just tell him everything. John knew that Phil was there for him, he'd proved it already more than enough… yet he felt so very alone, because he had to keep it to himself…

Randy…

The pain flared up, consuming him. Just as he finally had found his way into Randy's stronghold, the younger man threatened to slip through his fingers and in the midst of it all he had to realize that he loved him. He loved Randy…

A broken sob tore from his throat and he tightened his hold on the body in his arms in the bare need of something to shield away the painful reality. But ever since the truth had been revealed to him, reality stayed at his side and refused to give him even one minute of peace.

Randy…

Not really wanting to let go of Phil, he eventually pushed himself into a sitting position, slipping out of the younger man's embrace, and caught a glimpse on the clock, before he sank back down into Phil's waiting arms with a low groan as his head threatened to explode. The clock told him that it was already 11 a.m. and he'd promised Randy to drop by around lunch-time.

"I gotta go to Randy," he groaned, pushing the pain in his head and the pain in his heart aside with all the strength he had left.

"Yeah, sure. You can't even sit," Phil huffed, holding him back when he tried to sit up again. "Stay down before your head falls off."

"No," John mumbled weakly. "No, I promised to bring him his sandwich and coffee…"

"No, Sunshine, what you need is some more sleep. He's not gonna die if he has to wait for you a little longer."

Phil's words gave John a sting to the heart and the younger man didn't miss the way John cringed. He frowned, but he didn't ask for the reason. Then he sighed, because he knew he'd probably regret his next words.

"Would you feel better if I go and make sure he gets his sandwich and coffee and tell him that you'll visit him later?"

Blinking slowly, John looked up to Phil and was greeted by questioning eyes. Yeah, he would feel better but he was aware that it probably wasn't a good idea. Phil didn't like Randy and Randy didn't like Phil and after all that Phil had done for him, he didn't want to burden him with going there.

"No. No, I'm going. I know you and Randy are not quite friends and I…"

"Sunshine," the younger man cut him off softly. "Would you feel better or not?"

John gazed at him for a moment, before he closed his eyes and breathed: "Yeah, I would feel better."

A moment later John felt Phil scoot out of his arms and then the couch dipped a bit. When he opened his eyes he found him sitting on the edge of the cushion, looking down on him, worry written all over his face and John felt bad for being the cause of it.

"Thanks, Phil."

Nodding lightly, the younger man leaned down to him and breathed a kiss to his temple.

"It's okay, Sunshine. Sleep now," Phil whispered against his temple, before he got up and left the living-room.

John closed his eyes again and listened to the hushed sounds coming from the adjoining room and those sounds lulled him and while he drifted back to sleep, Phil's scent enwrapped him and in his mind his voice echoed, telling him that it would be alright…

x

Resting his head comfortably against a thick pillow, he looked out of the window. It was sunny outside, and although the view could have been a better one, the bright rays that fell through the glass lightened his mood a little. Outside his room there was bustling activity and by the sounds of it, it had to be around lunch-time. What meant that John would drop in soon. He snorted. He'd tried so hard to keep everyone, including John, away and still John had managed to get through to him. And not only that, no. Only two days and he'd managed to make him look forward to his visits. And… to tell the truth, this was an understatement. Two days… That man was simply unbelievable.

The morning seemed to last forever while he waited for him. He'd never lost a thought about that John probably wouldn't come back. He'd promised to be at his side. This was John Cena. John, who would never break a promise. But after what had happened yesterday he was nervous and even a little bit scared. It was an awkward situation.

Over the past weeks and months Randy had accepted his fate more or less and the only reason he'd tried to keep everyone away had been that he didn't want leave someone behind who would have to suffer because of his death. And… he didn't want to get hurt again by being left alone…

But John's reaction, his words… his promise to be at his side, no matter what… it had left him shaken to the core, this offer of an unconditional friendship and for the first time since he had left his wife and his daughter, he'd cried freely. Although he still couldn't understand why John would chose to do this to himself… try to be his friend and walk this way with him only to see him… to see him go in the end… He wanted to believe him and he wanted John at his side. What he didn't want was to see John suffer. But it would be inevitable if John held his promise.

"God, why has this to be so hard," Randy murmured, closing his eyes.

A sigh fell from his lips. He still felt John's arms, holding him close. Randy couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so safe and… loved. Randy's finger clenched into his blanket as he thought about the strange feeling he'd had when he woke up this morning and John wasn't there. It had felt like there was missing something very important. And then, sitting in his bed after just waking up from a dreamless but sheltered sleep, after such a disastrous day like yesterday, he realized that John filled a void in his life that he hadn't even noticed being there.

When he heard a knock at the door his eyes snapped open and a small smile grew on his face.

"Come in," he called.

The door jumped open and… His smile dropped when Punk entered the room.

"Brooks?"

"Orton."

This wasn't the kind of surprise Randy liked and he had no intention making a secret of it.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Phil dropped down on the chair beside the bed and waved with a bag, while putting a tumbler on the bed stand.

"John isn't feeling very well and he asked me to bring you your sandwich, a coffee, and yes, it's decaf, and tell you that he's gonna drop in later," Phil explained and put the bag on the side table beside the tumbler.

Randy eyed Phil suspiciously. John, crashing on Punk's couch? Why would he go to Punk and why the hell would he ask him to play delivery boy? A heavy knot of worry built up in the pit of his stomach. After John's reaction yesterday it wasn't a surprise that John didn't feel good today, but nevertheless… And again, why Punk?

"Why would he ask you of all people?" Randy snapped, focusing back on the man beside his bed..

"Maybe because we are friends," Phil replied drily.

"Friends? You and John? Sure, Brooks. "

"Yeah. Yeah, friends. Oh… I'm sorry. Right, it's a concept you're probably not familiar with," Phil remarked sarcastically. "Friends are people who care about each other. Maybe you've heard about that somewhere along the way?"

"Stop being a smartass, Brooks," Randy snapped again and tried to lean forward but he regretted it instantly when a hot wave of pain rolled through him.

He groaned and leaned back, his good arm wrapped around his chest, asking a little breathless: "What's wrong with John?"

"Ooooh, so you are familiar with…"

"Stop that, Punk, and fucking tell me what's wrong with John!" he growled and it worked.

Phil shut his mouth and pursed his lips, before answering: "A nasty hangover. I found him at my door in the middle of the night and he was down and drunk like a sailor. He needed someone to talk."

To talk? Randy blinked and straightened up a little. Could that be? He did a leap of faith and opened up to John, wanted to trust him and John… He couldn't believe that John would go and tell Punk everything. His face darkened.

"No need to be upset, Orton," Phil continued. "He never lost a word about what happened between the two of you yesterday. Okay? Not a single word. Listen, he was completely devastated and just wanted some company. He shot himself into oblivion and crashed on my couch. Randy… Whatever this is between the two of you… If you're not serious about it, stop it."

He chewed on his lip-ring while his eyes stayed fixed on the other man, wondering how Randy would react if he knew about the little encounter on the couch.

"What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean with it?"

"I don't know. You name it. Friendship? Something else? It doesn't make a difference how you want to call it. Important is that you're not playing with him. He doesn't deserve that. As I said, he is my friend and I swear I'm gonna make your life a hell if you hurt him."

Sure, Brooks, as if my life could be more of a hell than it already is, Randy thought bitterly, returning Phil's look with a hard glare.

"I don't think that I need to explain myself to you, Punk," replied coldly. And then, out of the blue came a feeling that there was more behind Phil's words and with a wary expression on his face, he asked: "Are you jealous?"

Phil cocked his head and narrowed his eyes a bit at the question.

"Are you?"

Both questions remained unanswered. And then Phil puffed a mirthless laughter and made Randy frown with it.

"This is plain silly, isn't it?" Punk huffed and brushed his hands through his face. "What are we doing here? We are both friends with John, so we should try to get along somehow, don't you think?"

Randy's brows furrowed while he pondered over Phil's words. He had no further interest in spending time with Punk, but he had a point there. John obviously liked him, what meant that they possibly would meet every once in a while. At least as long as he was still… around. He owed it to John.

"Yeah, maybe," Randy agreed reluctantly and after another moment of silence he added quietly: "Look, I… I'm not playing with him, okay?"

For once the subtle and always present sarcasm on Phil's face vanished at Randy's words and the way his voice had sounded and he nodded softly.

"Good. I'll take you up on that."

Phil got up from the chair and walked over to the door to leave the room, but then he stopped half-way out as a certain thought popped up in his mind and turned around with a thoughtful expression.

"Listen, uhm… I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I know that John won't say a word, so…" he said quietly, chewing on his lip-piercing. "He quit his job."

It took Randy a few seconds until the statement sank in and his brows furrowed in confusion.

Slowly he asked: "Why would he do that?"

Phil rolled his eyes and shook his head, before he answered: "Yeah, Randal, why the hell would he do something like that? You don't really expect me to explain his actions, do you? I'm going now. Use the time and think about it. Maybe you'll find an answer to that before he drops in and spends his time with you. Like he did the past days. Or like he will do in the future, hour for hour. Not to speak of the time he invests in taking care of the things you can't do. Bing-bing-bing?"

With that he left the room and Randy with an even more confused expression behind. One furrowed brow arched up.

John has quit his job? Why the hell… why would he do that? His job is his life… Randy wondered, turning Phil's statement back and forth in his mind.

"Bing-bing-bing?" he muttered.

… and spends his time with you. Like he did the past days. Or like he will do in the future, hour for hour…

Time. A lot of time.

Too much time… he thought slowly and a moment later it dawned on him. No. Not really. He didn't do that because of…

"… me?" he said aloud in surprised realization.

Because of him. John had quit because him. Randy groaned. Then he sighed. And then he shook his head slowly.

Closing his eyes he leaned his head back and muttered: "Dammit, John…"

While his mind still tried to process the fact that John had really done this, things ascended like bubbles. All those moments when John tried to talk to him, although he pushed him away. He came back, even after the shiner… That he'd risked his life… Their little water-incident, the insults he'd taken. Taking care of his things, offering him to move in. To stay at his side whatever would happen. And now he quit his job.

"Damn idiot!" he hissed, not in anger but in worry.

John was about to quit his whole life for Randy's sake. The younger man groaned again as bitter guilt rose and with it came a nagging question: what had he done to deserve John's devotion? He couldn't name it anything else.

You are not alone. I'm gonna be at your side if you let me, Randy… I'm not gonna let you down, whatever comes. I'm not gonna let you down… I care because I know that you are worth all the trouble it takes to get closer to you… I'm willed to do anything... just... don't die…

John's words echoed in his mind. He wasn't alone anymore and that thought was comforting yet it scared him at the same time.

"John…"

He breathed the name into the quietness of his room. First those fucking tumors had turned his world upside down and it happened again when his family let him down. And now there was John and again his world was being turned upside down… Within two days the older man had made Randy care again for someone… for him. Made him worry.

"Fuck."

Now there was someone in his life again who he would leave behind. Exactly what he'd wanted to avoid.

His gaze fell on the cell John had given him and he took it, gingerly running a thumb over the small device. John would never break his promise. So maybe, as much as Randy wanted all the older man had promised him… maybe…

"I absolve you from your promises, John."

For now his words died away in the small room. It was only fair, wasn't it? He would free him from his promises before it was too late.

And afterwards he would be on his own again…

x

The front door opened and with quiet steps Phil made his way to the kitchen and prepared a hangover breakfast - a glass of water and painkillers – and brought it to the couch. John had already been awake for a while the moment the front door opened, but he hadn't been able to get up and his head was killing him. Phil kneeled down in front of the couch and when he saw that John looked at him, he simply returned the look and reached out to brush his fingers through the older man's hair.

John didn't know why, but Phil's touches calmed him, soothed his troubled mind and heart a bit. Touches so full of warmth, full of comfort. Hesitantly he scooted closer to the edge of the couch, until he was close enough to Phil to nuzzle his face against the younger man's chest and in responds Phil breathed a kiss on John's shoulder.

"Hey, Sunshine, how are you feeling?" Phil asked quietly

Another kiss on the older man's shoulder.

"Like shit. My head's pounding like a base drum," John mumbled and Phil gave him an acknowledging hum.

"No surprise," Phil murmured. "You were drunk enough for two. I've got you something for that pretty head of yours. Feel sick?"

"No, it's only the headache."

Very slowly John sat up, screwing his eyes shut as the pounding in his head increased to a point where he was sure his skull would crack any second. But after a few seconds the pounding lessened a bit and when he opened his eyes there was a glass with water hovering in front of him.

"Water and painkillers. And I'm sure we'll find something to eat for you if you feel up to it."

Emptying the glass and hoped his stomach wouldn't suddenly decide to revolt, but thankfully the water stayed down. He sighed heavily as he tried hard to shut out reality for a little longer, but it weighed down on him, crushing, merciless.

Whispering his name, Phil let his hand smooth down the side of John's face and stopped on his neck to linger there and for a few moments John's gaze locked with Phil's… Those eyes that had drawn him in last night, green and brown and open. Honest, caring eyes. And again those eyes drew him in and John leaned forward and placed his lips on the younger man's. But Phil turned his head away.

"Don't…" he said quietly.

"I'm sorry," John replied as quietly. "I thought you… I mean, after last night, I…"

The younger man shook his head lightly.

"When I said I'd be a very happy man under different circumstances, I meant it," he explained softly. "But I also meant it when I said that I like you, very much so. The circumstances are still the same and I can't let you run head first into a big mistake."

Blue eyes searched Phil's face, stopping for a heartbeat at his lips and found their way back to the younger man's eyes. John settled a hand on Phil's chest and buried his fingers in his shirt.

"I'm sober, Phil and I know what I'm doing," John murmured and pulled him slightly closer.

The younger man sighed and rested his forehead against John's and the older man pulled him even closer, while his free arm snaked around Phil's neck.

"Sunshine," Phil whispered, unsure, maybe a little desperate. "Sunshine, don't. You love Randy."

John stilled and the blue eyes slipped close.

"I'm realistic enough to know that he'll never feel the same," he said strained.

Phil heard the words and he heard the words behind them. Hold me. Please make me forget. And maybe it was the wrong decision… that decision his heart had already made the moment he followed the medics to the hospital that fateful night, to sit at John's bed until he woke up and to have his back. It wasn't that he was in love with John, but he couldn't deny that he had a soft spot for him. He knew all too well that John loved Randy and that there was no chance to put a foot in the door and squeeze between John and Randy.

But if John was sure about what he'd said just a few moments ago, why shouldn't he get himself a piece of the older man? John was… John. He was addictive. He was like… like… good chocolate. Once you got the taste, you can't stop. You want more and more and more… And maybe it was a good thing that John had lost his heart to Randy, because if he'd been a free man… Phil sighed. If John had been a free man, Phil would probably have fallen head over heels for him.

Hoping that he wasn't about to do the biggest mistake in his life ever, he closed the gap and kissed the older man… slow and gentle and sweet.

It was some kind of relieve John felt when Phil granted him the kiss, a kiss as warm and full of comfort as his touches were. Somehow Phil managed to make him forget everything, at least for a few precious moments and although he knew that it wasn't fair to Phil, he couldn't help himself but wanted, needed all the younger man offered.

The kiss didn't last long and when it ended John kept holding him close.

"Thank you," he whispered against Phil's lips. "Thank you for being there."

Phil's answer was a smile and a soft kiss on the corner of the older man's mouth, before he drew away from and held a hand out to him.

"It's time to get up, Sunshine. Randy is waiting for you."

John nodded lightly and took Phil's hand. This time he did not pull him down, but when he stood in front of the younger man he pulled him into a tight hug and breathed a kiss on his forehead, before he got himself ready for his visit at the hospital.

He never noticed the deeply worried look in Phil's eyes as the younger as watched him retreat to the bathroom…