And here is the next part and I hope it was fast enough for your taste? We're getting closer but there are still a few chaps to come.
And so many reviews! Thank you so much XD I have no words to explain how much I love you guys!
As always, I hope you'll like this one and I'm patiently but excitedly waiting for your comments :D
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Oddly enough Randy felt ease settle over him. Finally he'd said the words and if he died in that goddamn surgery… it would be okay. John knew that he loved him and he was still here, his embrace not faltering, not even for the briefest moment. Maybe that was what people meant by making your peace… His hold on John loosened a bit, giving him the chance to go if he wanted to… hoping he wouldn't… and he waited…
For a long moment John found himself unable to move. Or to speak. All he could do was holding onto Randy as a few hot tears fell from his eyes, unseen by his friend. All the time he'd wished, hoped, begged to hear those words. And now Randy really had said them… His heartbeat sped up a bit, stumbled and settled for a shallow but happy pounding and with all he had John tried to wrap his whole being around those words to hold them close to his heart.
"John? Can you please say… something…?" Randy asked eventually, insecurity lacing into his words.
Blinking the tears away, John propped up on his elbows, gazing down on Randy and as his eyes found those beloved grey orbs he whispered: "Are you sure?"
"I…" Randy began, the insecurity even more audible. But he was sure and so he added: "Yeah. I love you, John, more than I loved anyone before in my life."
A lightheaded feeling settled over John as he kept his eyes locked with Randy's. This was as real as it could be…
"You are the one I love, Ran," he whispered then, trailing his fingertips softly down the side of Randy's face and the tears came back to his eyes. "All the time it's been you. Only you…"
The insecurity gave way to confusion as Randy looked up to the older man in utter surprise. He couldn't believe it… there had been signs, yes, but in the end he'd reached a point where he'd almost been sure he was only imagining it. Seeing things he wanted to see, because he wished John would love him back…
"All the time?" he asked quietly, because he couldn't grasp that this was real.
"Yeah. I'm so sorry that I lied to you but I was too afraid to tell you the truth," John explained as quietly. "I was afraid that it would scare you off, that I would lose you."
And John hoped that Randy would forgive him that he had been lying all the time, because now the younger man knew that there had been more than just friendship behind every single touch, every little kiss… every moment of closeness…
And then something in Randy's eyes shifted and his gaze became distant as he murmured: "You would have… you would have put up with living with me as only a friend if I... hadn't told you…?"
Randy swallowed hard. By offering him to move in permanently John had accepted living with him as only a friend, thinking that there would never be more than being best friends. He would rather live a life in unrequited love alongside the person he loved, just to be close, to be there? John would have given up everything…
A sad smile tugged at John's lips as he said: "I would rather have lived my life as only a friend at your side than not having you close to me, Ran. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."
"Tell me I'm not dreaming," Randy breathed as his gaze found back to John.
"You're not dreaming, Ran. I love you, more than my own life. You are the one I want to spend my life with, until my last day," John whispered and as Randy's arms wrapped around his neck again, pulling him down, he followed.
Firmly covering the younger man's lips with his own they fell into a lazy and worshipping kiss, all slow strokes of tongues and gentle pressure, drawing low and pleased hums from both of them, quiet moans and it created a sweet and warm ache in loving hearts…
For a long moment they were lost in this kiss… a kiss that should have lasted forever but eventually they had to breathe again. With a rueful groan they broke apart and because it hadn't been enough, John leaned in and stole another small kiss from Randy. And a second and as he leaned in for a third, Randy stopped him. A strange sparkle showed up in those grey orbs…
"Take your shirt off," Randy whispered against his lips, while his left hand slipped under the shirt and roamed the muscled back.
"You think it's the right place for a make-out session?" John asked amused as he drew back, straddling Randy's legs and did what he wanted him to do.
A determined expression crossed the younger man's face and as John wanted to lower himself back down, Randy stopped him and pushed himself into a sitting position.
"No, let's save the make-out session for when we get back home," replied with a crooked smile that disappeared as fast as it came. Running his left over John's chest he half-growled: "You're mine now and I want this goddamn mark to vanish."
With that he leaned in, sealing his lips over the bite-mark and began to suck on the skin, earning a low chuckle from John.
"Marking your territory?" he murmured, receiving an acknowledging hum from Randy. "You know, if you keep that up I can't guarantee for anything…"
And while Randy was busy with his chest, John willed his body not to react to it. He didn't want their first time to happen in a hospital bed. Closing his eyes, he sighed quietly. He wouldn't have expected Randy to be that possessive but, gods, he loved it.
With a smacking sound Randy released the skin, surveying his work with a satisfied little nod. A nice hickey was covering the bite-mark now and only subtle traces indicated that it was still there. And then he leaned in again, placing a soft kiss on the hickey before he lay back down, pulling John with him.
"I reserve the right to renew it whenever I want. No one is allowed to touch what's mine," Randy murmured, his lips only a breath away from John's. "Oh and I love kissing you, Johnny. You're gonna give me what I want and you're gonna give it to me now."
Oh yeah, he loved the possessive Randy and the image how it would be with him, the idea of being owned by this Randy in every possible way sent a jolt of anticipation through John. This was the first time in his whole life he wished to be owned by someone. Completely. And it was an amazing, addictive feeling…
"Sir, yes, sir," he obeyed and closed the gap for a sweet and deep kiss.
They lost track of time, lost in long and loving kisses and tender touches, holding onto each other and for that time the surgery was far away and the dark and frightening what if something bad happens bounced off their own little bubble of happiness which was surrounding them.
For now the world was perfect…
x
The night had been much too short when John woke up around 6 a.m. and all too familiar sounds greeted him, reminding him where he was. Randy was still asleep, hiding in his arms and his breath fanned over John's neck like a loving caress, his heartbeat an anchoring rhythm under his touch.
With a content hum he held the body in his arms a little tighter and a happy smile spread over his lips as his mind drifted back to their first kiss. It had been a perfect kiss… and his heart jumped in joy as Randy's words echoed in his mind… telling him that he loved him. It all felt like a dream yet he knew it was real, very real. Randy belonged to him now. All that he had hoped for but never really believed would happen… had happened. He had no words for how he felt. This went far beyond being pure joy and happiness. And he'd never before felt so much love for someone. It was so damn intense that it hurt, but the pain was so sweet that he wanted to feel it forever.
Dropping a kiss to the short hair, he gazed out of the window, the happy smile still on his lips while he listened to Randy's soft breathing, savored the feeling of the warm and firm body in his arms...
About an hour later the door opened and a nurse came in and brought the hospital gown and the medical compression stockings, telling him that Randy should take a shower before the surgery. And because Randy didn't wake up, John decided to let him have some more sleep and for another hour all he did was watching over him.
Around 8 a.m. the door opened again. The doc came in and John thought that this man would change their lives today and that he should start calling him with by his name. Dr. Alexander Green. And while Dr. Green walked up to them, coming to stand at the foot end of the bed, John leaned in, whispering to Randy, gently calling him awake. With a soft mumbling and John's name on his lips the younger man woke up, slowly and only reluctantly, blinking at John with sleepy eyes.
"Tell me it wasn't just a dream," Randy murmured with a crooked smile.
"It wasn't a dream, Ran. You officially belong to me now," John murmured back and stole a small kiss as proof.
With a contended hum Randy wanted to cuddle up to him again, obviously unaware that they weren't alone, but John stopped him ruefully.
"We have a guest, babe," he said quietly and with a light frown Randy turned his head to have a look who was standing there.
And to John's relief it seemed that Randy didn't mind the fact that someone had heard their little conversation or seen the kiss.
"It would probably have been more comfortable if you'd pushed the beds together, gentleman," Dr. Green greeted them with a smirk on his lips. "I just wanted to drop by and ask if there are any questions left?"
"Yeah," John said, while Randy shook his head no. "How long will the surgery take?"
"Between seven and nine hours," Dr. Green replied. "There is a waiting room on the same floor as the surgical area. And we're gonna call you when he's in the anesthetic recovery room. Anything else?"
"No, Doc," John said. "And thanks. I know it's not common practice to let family members into the recovery room."
Dr. Green gave a tiny nod.
"Well, I guessed you would want to sit him until he wakes up. And since you have a special guest bonus it wasn't that much of a problem to arrange it. If you excuse me now?"
With that he left the room. For a brief moment John gazed at the door, thinking that the next time it would open… it would be time for the surgery.
Gazing down on Randy he asked hushed: "Wanna talk about the surgery?"
With a sigh Randy resumed his place in John's arms and did what he wanted to do only a few moments ago. Cuddling up to the broad chest he muttered a no. He didn't want to talk about it. What he wanted was not to think about it. That and cuddle with John and kiss him. That thought brought a happy smile to his lips.
John didn't see it but he felt him smile against his skin and with a smile of his own he began to trail traces on Randy's back, receiving a purr from him that made his smile broaden.
"Thinking of something nice?" he asked amused.
"I'm thinking about kissing you, Johnny."
"Yeah, I guess kisses are allowed before surgeries. But business before pleasure. They want you to take a shower before the surgery and a nurse brought those sexy stockings and that stylish gown for you."
Randy drew back and grimaced.
"I promise I'm still gonna love you when you wear that stuff. Come on, Ran. A shower together is gonna be nice."
A few minutes later warm water rained down on them. It could have been nice to sit there, having John close while relaxing warm water ran down his body, but it wasn't. He still couldn't move his right hand and although he could have used it to soap himself… his hand wasn't numb but it felt alien… somehow. He simply didn't want to use it. And so he soaped himself with his left hand. With a certain difficulty.
It didn't escape John's notice and with a light frown he kneeled down between the younger man's legs and began to spread the soap over the tanned chest with gentle hands.
"Johnny, your knees…"
"My knees are fine," John said quietly, savoring the feeling of being allowed to touch Randy without holding back. "Why didn't you just say a word?"
Sighing Randy averted his eyes.
"Say what? Can you please help me, because I'm a cripple?" he muttered bitterly.
Cupping Randy's face with tender hands, John urged him to look back up to him.
"How about: can you please help me, because I feel uncomfortable using my right hand?" John replied softly. "You are not a cripple, Ran. The paralysis is only temporary. Your hand will be fine after the surgery."
Leaning forward, Randy rested his forehead against John's and closed his eyes. With a handful of words John managed to make him feel better, to believe, to give him confidence.
"I have no idea what I've done to deserve you, but god knows I'd rather die than ever let you go again," Randy whispered and because John gave him all those good feelings, because he wanted to show him that his words reached Randy's heart, he hesitantly settled his right hand on John's chest, right above the mark that now was his mark.
It was odd. He felt John's skin against his palm, under his fingertips, yet it felt like he couldn't touch him. But he wanted to… And then he felt John's hand settle on his with gentle pressure until his own hand was resting flat on the broad chest.
"I promised you this once and I promise it again now. No matter what happens, no matter what you say or do, I'm gonna be at your side," John whispered back. "From now on you're stuck with me, Ran, because I love you more than my own life."
Tilting his head a little, John claimed Randy's lips in a lazy and gentle kiss, inching a bit closer until there was no more room between their bodies and Randy wrapped his right arm around the older man's neck to hold him close… and maybe also to anchor himself. There was no sound to be heard except the still running shower, the falling water swallowing every breath, every tiny hum and moan while the kiss deepened. Gentle hands roamed slick skin, making goose bumps flare under tender touches, setting soft shivers free…
And just like the past night John felt heat rush between his legs and as much as he willed his cock not to evince interest… it didn't work. Maybe because he didn't need to restrain himself anymore. But now wasn't the right moment to go there. Breaking the kiss he rested his head against Randy's shoulder and took a few deep breaths and heard Randy chuckle lightly. It was a full, rumbling sound and John couldn't only hear it, he also felt the vibration as he leaned against the younger man.
"I'm sorry, Ran," he muttered and ridiculously enough a blush crept up his cheeks.
"No need to, I'm feeling flattered," Randy replied with a purr. "Want me to take care of it?"
For a second John was tempted to say yes, but this wasn't the way he wanted it to happen. He couldn't help the slightly agonized groan that dropped from his lips at the mere thought of what Randy offered… Taking another deep breath he looked back up to Randy and shook his head no.
"Not now, babe," he said, stealing another small kiss. "This is not the right place and not the right moment. I want to make sure we both have fun when we get there."
With a sigh Randy dropped his good hand to John's backside, fingers digging into the firm flesh, getting a low hum from the older man in response.
"Fun, huh?" he murmured and leaned in to nibble on John's lower lip.
"Oh yeah, fun," John murmured back. "And that includes a big and comfy bed, massage oil and a lot of time. I want to make you feel good, Ran, really really good."
Randy left John's lips and rested his head against a broad shoulder, quietly moaning as he imagined how it would be… how it would feel to have John's full attention directed at him that way… and those hands… those lips… His own southern regions became interested, too… a bit at least. But he had no doubt that John would make it work when the moment came. With a smile on his lips he turned his face against John's neck.
"I love you, John," Randy said just loud enough for John to hear it.
The room fell quiet. For long minutes they stayed like this, pressed up against each other while the water kept raining down on them, hands roaming in tender caresses.
When John finally turned the water off it seemed like all the ease that had engulfed them was swept away and the dark cloud of the oncoming surgery was back. The quietness lingered, even as they got back to Randy's bed where John helped Randy with the compression stockings and the gown. After getting back into the bed Randy instantly crawled back into John's arms, wrapping his left arm tightly around the older man's waist. It had become a habit to do this, hiding in John's embrace. It made him feel safe. And for John it felt good to know that he could give Randy this feeling.
It was Randy who eventually broke the silence as he whispered: "I'm scared to death, Johnny…"
Randy's words sent a chill down John's spine. Breathing a kiss to those soft lips he pulled him closer and tucked Randy's head under his chin.
"I know, babe," John murmured.
He wouldn't tell him that there was no need to be afraid because it would have been a lie. Although John always did his best to be optimistic, he was also realistic. There were so many reasons to be afraid. But because Randy needed him, he held onto optimism and confidence and simply believed that everything would be alright. He had to.
Silence settled over them again and John didn't even try to break it, because he knew Randy didn't want to talk and to tell the truth, he also didn't feel like talking now. And so he only began to run his hand up and down Randy's back, calming, soothing and held him. With every passing minute the air around them seemed to become thicker, heavier… more and more choking.
Just as the clock showed 10 a.m. the door opened and he felt Randy flinch slightly, felt the hold of his arm tighten around his waist and in response John pulled him closer. Randy whispered his name as he turned his face against the older man's neck, hiding from what was about to come. Two nurses stepped up to the bed, smiling politely.
"Just one moment," John said quietly.
Bringing his hand up to Randy's face, he whispered: "Ran? Come on, look at me, babe."
He didn't care how this must look like to the two women standing there, watching them lying in bed arm in arm, so close that there was no more room left, or hearing him call Randy babe. And he for sure didn't give a shit if they saw him kiss Randy now.
And Randy came out of his hiding place, looking up to John who leaned in to do it, kiss Randy, pouring all the love he felt for him in that simple kiss. Randy's hand came up, curling around his nape to hold the older man in place because he didn't want go. But he knew he had to and so he didn't give any resistance as John broke the kiss.
"I'm coming with you as far as they let me and I promise I'm gonna be there when you wake up. And then we're gonna start our new life together," John murmured and managed a smile.
Gazing into those beloved baby blues which were sparkling with love and confidence Randy thought once again that as long as John was at his side, there was no reason to be afraid. Somehow John managed to give him this feeling, even now.
God created a masterpiece as he made this man and now this masterpiece belonged to Randy…
Smoothing his good hand over John's cheek to the back of his head to pull him in for another small kiss, he held onto the image of a life together. A happy life, full of trust, joy and love. Only a few hours…
"I can't wait," he whispered against John's lips.
One of the nurses stepped closer, quietly telling them that it was time to go now. Reluctantly John slipped out of the bed and stepped out of the way as the nurses steered the bed out of the room, catching up with them in the corridor, where he took hold of Randy's hand, silently walking alongside the bed. With every meter they made, Randy felt his heart beat a little faster and his hold on John's hand was probably tight enough to be painful, but John didn't even blink. After a few minutes which seemed endless, yet went by all too fast, they reached their destination. As the nurses stopped at a double door, politely stepping back to give them a bit of privacy, John knew that he had to let go now.
Leaning down to Randy he murmured: "It's gonna be alright, okay? I love you."
It was a shaky smile Randy gave him, but it was a real one and the younger man whispered: "And I love you, Johnny."
"I see you when you wake up, Ran," John said hushed and breathed a kiss to Randy's lips, before stepping away from the bed.
Only a moment later Randy was gone and John's eyes stayed fixed on the door they had vanished through. And although there were people passing him, he felt utterly alone. There was a tearing feeling of a loss and the cold and paralyzing combination of panic and fear crawled back out of the shadows, flooding his veins again. Swallowing hard on the bitter taste of those unsettling feelings, he turned away from the door and let his eyes roam the corridor for the waiting area and he slowly walked over as he found it.
Numbness settled over him as he sat down on one of the few chairs in this small room, as he braced his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands, knowing that the upcoming hours would be the longest of his whole life…
x
For the last hour he'd been pacing up and down the small room. Up and down. Up… and down. Every once in a while he walked to the door, taking a look into the corridor but it was always the same picture greeting him. It was the usual business and politely smiling nurses. No doctor on his way to John to tell him everything was alright. Just like right now as he stepped out of the waiting room, looking left and right for something. A sign, a nurse waving at him or any-fucking-thing. But… no.
He glanced at his watch. It's been eight hours by now. Eight hour since they had taken Randy away from him. Eight killing hours of waiting and he felt so goddamn helpless.
Groaning he got back in and sat down on a chair, producing his cell from a pocket and flipped it open, looking for a short message from Phil or Sam. He had sent a message to Sam about five hours ago, but there was no reaction. He would have expected some kind of acknowledgment, at least a simple okay, but obviously she was back at being completely uninterested.
And Phil… It had been around 11:45 a.m. when he'd received a message from Phil, asking how he was doing. John hadn't really been surprised that Phil didn't ask about Randy, but somehow Phil's indifference when it came to Randy pissed him off. Sighing John wiped a hand down his face. He knew he was overreacting here… He knew that Phil wasn't the type of guy who feigned interest when there was none. His answer to Phil's message had been that Randy was having his surgery right now and that he was waiting and that it was killing him because he was goddamn scared. And that Randy had told him that he loved him. It had taken a few minutes until there came another message from Phil…
Congrats, Sunshine. I guess that's it then?
John's eyes swept over the characters, rereading the message over and over again. A handful of words on a screen shouldn't seem so sad and final. And maybe those words only seemed like that because John felt guilty for giving in to Phil's suggestion although he had been aware that it would be a mistake.
Yeah. I'm sorry, Phil. Are we still friends?
His own message. A message without an answer from Phil and John wasn't sure if he should send another message, if he should call him or simply wait. Maybe Phil needed some time. Flipping his cell shut, he tucked it away. He felt guilty and bad about the whole situation with Phil, but right now all he could think of was Randy.
If only someone would come to tell him that Randy was okay…
Leaning forward he braced his elbows on his knees, hung his head and closed his eyes. For the last eight hours his heart had been beating faster than it should and tenseness had settled over him, making him feel dizzy and he knew he should have looked for something to eat and drink, but he didn't dare to leave this damn room. With a little sigh he folded his hands and rested his forehead against them, eyes still closed. Faintly he heard a rattling sound and voices. There was the sound of passing people…
"John?"
Too lost in his state of waiting John didn't react right away and so it took him a couple of seconds to realize that someone had called his name, to recognize the voice. His eyes flew open and his head snapped up.
"Dr. Green," he whispered and got up as the man walked towards him.
Involuntary John began to tremble, his breathing became faster and the dizziness heavier and he was probably even swaying, because a frown appeared on the doctor's face as he reached out to grab John's shoulders.
"You should sit down," Dr. Green said worried and John did as the man told him. The man squatted down in front of him, his hand still holding onto his shoulders in a supporting grip. "Okay, now take a few deep breaths and calm down. Randy is okay and he's already in the recovery room."
The tenseness fell off him, the trembling faded and his heart tripped a few times before it began to slowly calm down, leaving only the dizziness behind. With a shuddering groan John leaned forward and into the supporting hands of the white clad man. Randy was okay… he was okay…
"Thank you, Doc," he mumbled. "Thank you so much…"
For a long moment he kept sitting like this until he felt himself being pushed back gently. He still felt dizzy though…
"You okay?" Dr. Green asked and at a tiny nod from John he continued. "I'll make it short because I guess you want to see him as fast as possible. The tumors have been removed in a complete resection and a rapid diagnostic test hasn't given evidence of malign tissue. That means we have a positive prognosis. The paralysis of the right hand should only be temporary and there also shouldn't be any long-term consequences. I'm positive that you can take him home in about ten days and that we can release him as healed. He will have to undergo control examinations at regular intervals though. Any questions?"
Everything… was okay. Randy was okay. Everything would be alright… In a few moments he would sit beside Randy and the moment he would open his eyes would be the first moment of their life… together. A bright wave of relief and joy rolled through him, washing away the last eight hours and all he wanted was to finally see Randy again.
"No," he breathed happily. "I don't know how to thank you, Doc."
"No need to, John. Now, I guess it's time I take you to the recovery room before Randy wakes up and you're not there. He should be awake in a few minutes."
With that the medic motioned to John to follow him and not even two minutes later John sat in the recovery room beside Randy. He'd felt a painful sting in his chest as he saw the thick bandage around Randy's head. But compared to the way Randy had looked after the accident this bandage and the small sensor on the right index finger were… okay. John had taken hold of his friend's right hand as he sat down, very careful as not to jar the sensor. Randy's breathing was shallow but steady and the heart monitor echoed the younger man's heartbeat in a high-pitched beeping, a reassuring audible proof that he was alive. With a small smile John let his eyes roam Randy's face, noticing that he wasn't as pale as he had been the day before. It was good to see it and it was almost like a good omen.
Gazing around in the room he saw only a few other patients and two busy nurses, so he got up from his chair and sat cautiously on the edge of the bed, his hold on Randy's hand not ceasing a second. Brushing his thumb back and forth on the back of Randy's hand in a tender caress he leaned down and placed a kiss on his lips. A second. And a third.
"I promise I'm gonna do everything to make you feel like you're in heaven, Ran. Every single day from now on. You just need to open those beautiful eyes, okay?"
And then he stole a fourth kiss and whispered I love you against Randy's lips, before straightening up again. He kept sitting on the edge of the bed though, despite the unhappy glances from the nurses.
In ten days John would be allowed to take him home. That meant he would make some calls tomorrow to arrange all it needed for their new bedrooms… no, their new bedroom. One room with one large bed. They were now officially an item and he was willed to make it as official as Randy would allow it. And he would call Sam. It would do Randy good to see Alanna.
And he deserved something good after all the shit he had to go through.
Absentmindedly he let the tip of his index finger trace the fine lines on the palm of Randy's hand, while his eyes wandered over his friend's face.
It was a tiny twitch that caught his attention, the fine quivering of Randy's lips and for a brief moment John wasn't sure if he'd only imagined it. But then he heard the beeping of the heart monitor increase a bit, noticed Randy's breathing become stronger. And again the younger man's lips twitched, once, twice and then he saw them part a little… and then he heard his name being mumbled.
"Yeah, I'm here, Randy," John said quietly and a bright smile grew on his face as he gently settled a hand on Randy's cheek. "Open your eyes for me, babe…"
Waiting for Randy to open his eyes, he squeezed his hand a bit and breathed a kiss to his forehead, receiving a faint sigh from him. And then, ever so slowly Randy opened his eyes.
Randy's eyes were dazed, as if the usually clear and sharp grey of his eyes was hidden underneath a veil and that veil seemed to linger there, even as the younger man blinked himself more and more awake, his gaze sweeping aimlessly around. A bad feeling coiled up in John's stomach.
"John?" Randy whispered then, voice low, shaky… scared?
John's smile dimmed as he leaned closer, trying to catch Randy's eyes as he replied as quietly: "I'm here babe. Come on, look at me…"
Randy turned his head in John's direction but… his gaze was still wandering, passing John without noticing him. And the bad feeling in John's stomach grew…
"Johnny?"
A mere whisper, heavy with something John had no words for. The grey eyes widened… and Randy's breathing sped up, along with the beeping of the heart monitor. Pulling his right hand out of John's hold he brought his hands up to his eyes, hesitantly, and a shocked and scared expression crossed his face.
"I… I can't… see…" Randy croaked, his breathing becoming even faster and he began to claw at his face. "I can't see… John, I…"
The bad feeling uncoiled, causing a cold shiver to run down John's spine, made his heart drop painfully and after a moment of pure shock he reached out for the emergency button and pushed it, whispering to Randy to calm down. But instead Randy began to hyperventilate, repeating over and over again that he couldn't see.
"Come on, babe, you need to calm down!" John urged, taking hold of Randy's wrist to stop the clawing. "Randy, calm down…!"
It happened in a heartbeat… John saw the color drain from Randy's face, watched as his pupils dilated until there was barely grey left… his accelerated breathing stopped abruptly and John watched in numbing horror as Randy's eyes rolled back into his head until there was only white left.
For an agonizing moment the world froze around John as he sat there, petrified with horror and for that moment his heart stopped beating… and in a blink reality was back, crushing, excruciating. A moan escaped Randy's throat, choked, almost wailing as his whole body went rigid, before it began to twitch uncontrolled… the heart monitor echoing a much too fast and frightening unsteady rhythm…
Faintly John felt someone grab him by the shoulders and he was being pushed aside, away from the bed… from Randy's side and Randy's hand slipped from his fingers… A daze descended over him as he stood there, watching as white clad persons surrounded the bed, shouting instructions and there was a nurse coming towards him, telling him to leave the room but he couldn't move, couldn't leave Randy… His thoughts were swirling and blurring into one and fear and panic surged through him, tearing, ripping, chocking… The sounds faded into the background and his vision narrowed on the only part of Randy the ring of nurses and doctors revealed. His right hand… hanging over the edge of the bed, moving slightly as the tattooed arm kept on twitching... A whisper dropped from his lips… Randy…
His knees hit the floor hard as his legs gave out under him. Dizziness and nausea flooded him and he began to retch, leaning forward as he tried to support himself on shaky arms. He couldn't breathe… There was a buzzing in his ears and a tingling that spread throughout his body and then… everything went black…