There's no doorman to greet me when I reach my building. It's late and the only person I pass in the stairwell is that elderly woman from the third floor. I can almost garuntee she was up on the roof smoking again. We don't acknowledge each other as we pass and I remember than that's the way this city works. You keep your head down and walk, minding your own business the whole time. That's how everyone does it; everyone except Eddie of course.
I lock my door behind me and hang my leather jacket on the hook by the door. I toss my keys into the bowl on the counter and grab a beer from the fridge. I sink into the worn couch cushions and flip on the TV. It shatters the silence. My mind can't focus on the show though, it keeps going back to her. I may have gone to Harvard, but I'm an idiot. She asked me to come in. She had wanted me to go in. And I said no. Why the hell did I say no?
But I know the answer. She was upset. The day she had had, was unimaginable. She would have woken up in the morning and regretted it. It would have been over before it began. She would have risked her reputation at work for nothing. And most guys would say that it would have been worth it. That one night with someone like her would have been worth almost anything. But I couldn't do just one night. I couldn't go to work the next morning and pretend that nothing had happened, that nothing had changed. Because she wasn't just a pretty girl, she was Eddie. She was my Eddie. And I was in love with her.
I had walked away.
So now I'm here, in my empty apartment staring at the wall. And it sucks right now and I wish I hadn't walked away for a moment. I grant myself one minute. I allow myself to pretend for just one minute that I could have stayed. I imagine how it would have felt to just hold her in my arms. I recall the scent of her shampoo. And I want to cry. But I'll wake up in the morning and I'll head in for shift and we'll get in the car and she'll smile at me. And it will be enough. It has to be.
My phone beeps as I step out of the shower the next morning. I dry off and reach for it as I pull on a pair of jeans. It's from Nikki. I pull on a shirt and head out the door. I slip my arms into a hoodie as walk to the car and head towards Erin's. I'm going to be late for work if I don't hurry. Eddie's constant jokes about my driving pop into my head. I try to shake them out. It doesn't work very well.
I climb out of the car and jog into the building. The elevator is taking too long so I opt for the stairs. Nikki answers the door as soon as I knock. She looks worried.
"Thanks for coming Uncle Jamie," she greets but she doesn't smile. It obviously isn't a social call. Is she in trouble? Where's Erin?
"Everything okay?" I ask, "You're text said it was serious."
"Yeah, it's about a friend of mine." She steps aside and lets me into the apartment.
"A friend?" I glance at her skeptically was I walk by. That was Erin's favorite was a asking for help as a teen.
"No, really. He's a great kid" she says as she shuts the door and turns to face me. It's a he? I'm in trouble. Why doesn't anyone ever go to Danny for help? She continues, "Names Tyler. He went to my school but… Mom said she saw him in Hell's Kitchen looin' like he was on drugs." Oh Lord. Nikki has sketchy looking drug doing boyfriends. Where the hell is Erin?
"Did he use when you knew him?" I try to remain calm. She didn't go to Danny for a reason. She glances away for a second. This isn't going to be good.
I knew he smoked pot sometimes" she admits. I'm going to have to ask. I shoot her a look and pray she'll catch my drift. I don't want to have to say it. She catches on. "No!" Thank God. "I don't but if I did and it helped find Tyler then I'd admit it." She seems to really care about this kid.
"So you want me to look for him?" I ask.
"Could you?" She looks really worried. "Mom said it was around 35th and 10th."
"That's a pretty sketchy area" I tell her.
"Yeah, I know" she replies. At least she's not planning on going down there herself. If I say no, I'm sure she will though. She turns to her bag on the table.
"Here." She pulls out a photo and hands it to me. "That's what he looks like. She's got her arms around the kid in the photo. And a big smile on her face. They seem close, and he looks like a good kid.
"Your mom know you want me to do this?" I question. It seems odd the Erin isn't here for this.
"Yeah, she's really worried too. She would have been here but she wanted to go talk to Child Services about him." Sounds like Erin, ever the lawyer.
"Alright, I'll see what I can do" I say with a nod as she pulls her backpack on.
"Thanks Uncle Jamie." I just nod. We go our separate ways when he hit the street. She can't miss her bus and I'm going to need to drive like Eddie to get to work on time. I turn to key and the engine roars to life.
Let me know what you think (again). I'm hoping to have the next chapter done by Tuesday or Wednesday. Give me a reason to write :)