It was all in the past now.

Law had little... no. He had nothing to do about the memories anymore, nor he can do anything to get things back to what they used to. That day thirteen years ago was the day he found everything won't be the same. He can try to forget the things Vergo did because it strengthened him, but the single action from Doflamingo, coupled with the blond's secrets, and Law snapped. He can never forgive the man. Never in his entire childhood had he loved someone so dearly as a brother, but he only lied. All of them did.

The Surgeon of Death grimaced. The lies were horrible, but the deaths and sufferings they brought were far more brutal. Law was what his crew, the Heart Pirates, called the perfect doctor, but he himself knew that he wasn't. He was never, can never, be enough to mend his and that person's broken souls. Even if they were surrounded by a whole lot of cheerful people, it still and will never be enough, considering every man in the submarine's past. The mirth was nothing but a cover to hide the pain inside.

Sorry, Law...

"Damn it!" The raven-haired muttered through gritted teeth, his knuckles white from gripping Kikoku* so tight. He pressed his back against the railing, his shoulders tensed. Law dipped his head low on his chest, face thankfully hidden under the shadow of his bill. Hopefully, his hat and the brooding aura embracing him would be enough to shield his face and to ward off any attempts from the Strawhats on watch duty to engage him on their seemingly childish conversation. The Surgeon of Death had long finished the discussion about his plan once they reached Dressrosa and he just wished that the pirate crew who were on deck were not thick enough on the skull so he would not need to elaborate again. Law was far too preoccupied with his own personal problem and he could not care less right now if one of the Strawhats, especially the Devil Fruit users, were to start a stupid stunt and dive headfirst into the open sea.

The youngest Shichibukai immediately slipped back to his own anger and guilt-filled thoughts. The faces of his crew floated before him as if carved on the ship's wooden deck. One of them painstakingly stood out, causing Law to feel something lodge itself in his throat and his eyes to sting a little. It had been the most uncertain smile that certain crewmate wore for the past thirteen years. It had been him who stared at his reflection for hours whenever he was relieved from work and who, at first, took everything about him the hardest. The Surgeon of Death cannot blame him. Up to this very day that crewmate was still struggling with the change he underwent for the sake of Joker's enjoyment in seeing Law suffer. The blond stated that it would be a testament of the raven-haired's strength but to Law, the one thing he was forced to do just to keep that person with him was probably the most painful decision he ever did.

Law wished that it was just a mere sickness he can find a cure for. But alas, it was far worse.

That crewmate of his had always been an inspiration for the raven-haired youth ever since they met. If ever Law hadn't fancied the medical field, he was sure that he would have followed the man's footsteps, just as the latter did and bestowed his unwavering loyalty to someone like him. The Surgeon of Death grimaced and corrected himself. The man he admired was no longer a shadow of his former self. He allowed himself a dry chuckle. Even his shadow left him, he told himself bitterly, pain flashing momentarily in his storm cloud-like eyes Law absently drew shapes with his finger on deck, briefly unaware that he was drawing as invisible print of a cub on the wood. A faint smile appeared on his face, only to vanish just as quickly as it formed.

Why did I not cry that day? Why did I not allow myself to show Doflamingo the tears just so he wouldn't hurt anymore? I should've cried. I should've done what that blond bastard wanted... That should've saved him. But I didn't. I did nothing.

Pride kept him from doing anything that fateful day. And it was that pride that made him, especially that person, suffer. Up to this very day Law was still bound, still paying for the price of that pride that caused wounds that might just not fully heal even if he succeeded in his plan. He can take the pain all for himself if possible, but he will remain desperately in search for the cure he can give that person.

I'll face and accept death willingly if that's the only way, like they did for me.

Someone stood in front of him moments after. Law made sure that he was wearing his most intimidating expression and looked up, only to find the preparation pointless.

"Why're you sulking here in the corner, Trafalguy?"

The raven-haired's brows furrowed and quickly reverted to his usually laidback behavior, leaning comfortably against the railing and shouldering his nodachi. "I'm not sulking, Strawhat-ya, if that's what you believe. I am merely thinking things over..."

The rubber boy's lips stretched into a wide grin and regarded him with interest. "Oh, you mean the plan when we get to Dressrosa?"

Law shrugged. "What else?"

The young pirate pouted and clutched his trademark strawhat then squatted beside the Surgeon of Death. Law resisted the urge to roll his eyes when Strawhat Luffy started to talk animatedly about his own 'plans' once they arrived in their destination. If there was something he learned from watching the pirate crew, it was that you can never escape once Strawhat came to you for a conversation. Law sighed inwardly and feigned a look of boredom to send the younger male away. He wasn't amazed when it didn't work.

"How's your crew?"

The question, thrown in all its innocence by a childish pirate captain, caught Law off guard. He secretly composed himself and gave Strawhat a blank look, eyebrow raised.

"I am inclined to believe that they are all doing fine... They sometimes cause trouble among each other in the sub." Law looked away. Well, that was a safe answer. With a slight nod to himself, the Surgeon of Death smiled slightly as the image of his own band of misfits flashed in his head.

"Really? That's just like us here!"Strawhat said cheerfully, causing Law to frown a bit. Funny how the younger male can easily compare his rambunctious crew with the Surgeon of Death's. A grin appeared on his face all of a sudden, seeing how the other members of Strawhat Luffy's crew started bickering among themselves in an instant. Just like The Heart Pirates, then, when there were days of peace.

Might as well enjoy this while it lasts, the Surgeon of Death told himself as he watched the rubber boy join the fray.

- X -

Come morning the newspaper bore the news Law wanted from him. In the silence of his dark room, Doflamingo stood beside the closed windows, peering from the little crack offered by the curtains to the happenings down below outside the castle. People were swarming around, crying out for him. They were all confused, oh they should be. Their beloved king, stepping down from being a Shichibukai... The blond smiled almost viciously.

He slowly opened the heavy curtains, somewhat careful to avoid being seen by the crowds below. Doflamingo then settled himself on the velvet chair, leaning further on the backrest and stared at the sky. Damned brat. He couldn't wait to see Law. He couldn't wait to tear the bastard into bite-sized pieces and feed him to the sharks. But Doflamingo somewhat doubted if he could do that. Not to Law. Not to his little brother...

"Ah, shit,"he hissed, clearing his mind and erasing every memory, all the happy ones and steeled himself. He could not accept a traitor for a brother. Not now, not ever. Not anymore. But still...

Doflamingo cursed himself for letting himself fall prey into another daytime reverie. It wasn't fair. Somehow, he was still concerned. He still convinced himself that Law was just testing him to see how far Doflamingo will go to follow the damned orders'. That Law was just playing. It made him angry but if the raven-haired youth appeared before him and yell "Surprise! You've just been pranked, you big moron!", Doflamingo will sure as hell believe him and push Law to the Heart Seat he so truly deserved. But no. This was all real.

They were going to fight each other.

The blond closed his eyes and covered his face with a large hand, despair filling his face.

"Goddamnit, Law. Why..."

This one's short, I'm sorry! Writer's block claimed me again!

*Kikoku(literally, Cry of the Demon) is Law's nodachi, in case someone missed the SBS.

Edited, though I fear I still missed some errors.