I had just changed into uniform when it went out over the radio. There was an officer down. A detective from Danny's precinct. No name. I reach for my phone, dial the number, and wait. It rings. He doesn't answer. I try again. Shift is about to start and I head out to find Eddie, the phone still pressed to my ear. I hit redial. I leave a voicemail. I hit redial again.
"Hey!" Eddie finds me in the hall and I don't even need to say anything. "Voice mail again?" she asks and I don't even bother questioning how she knew. She's Eddie.
"Yeah, third time" I try to keep my voice calm, to at least present a front of strength. "Hear anything new?" I'm not losing another brother. It isn't happening.
"Lady called 911. Said she was out walking her dog, heard yelling from behind a fence, Someone being accused of being a cop. Shots fired."
"Still no name." I know there's still no name. Eddie would have told me if there was a name. But I ask anyways. Maybe I just need to hear her say it. Her voice is calming. Its probably not him. He's to stubborn to get shot.
"Only that he was rushed to St. Benjamin's. Couple of guys are headed over." She nods. I've seen that face before, heard that voice. It's the voice she uses to defuse a situation on the job. She's handling me. If I was less worried, I might have spared a moment to be angry.
"Okay," I tell her. " I'm going to ask the boss if we can too. Just in case." I start down the hall.
"Okay, there's got to be 15 detectives in the 5-4 squad. Odds are," she places a hand on my arm as my phone starts to ring, "it isn't your brother."
"Danny's wife." Linda name flashes on my caller ID. Did she get the call? Was it Danny?
"No way she's heard anything." Eddie's still trying to calm me down. I appreciate it, but it's not working.
"Or she got the call." I answer the phone. She says it's not him. She talked to him. I take a breath. Everyone's alright. Eddie looks almost as relieved as I am. It gives me hope. She cares. We head to the car. I toss her the keys and climb into the passenger's seat. She pulls out of the lot as I call Erin and my grandfather.
I hand up the phone and let me head fall against the window. I take a deep breath and try to push the fear that had swelled up back down. He was fine. He had talked to Linda. Everyone was okay. But after Joe. I couldn't stand the thought of that pain again.
Eddie's hand lands on my leg. I whip my head around to look at her. Her eyes haven't left the road. "He's okay, Jamie" she says softly without so much as a glance in my direction. "Everyone's alright."
And for some reason, just hearing someone say it, hearing her say it, makes it finally sink in. The lingering terror fades and I can breathe again. My hand falls to my lap and I grab the one she left sitting on my thigh. I flip it and slide my fingers between hers. I hold on. And everything's okay. We're okay.
So I know it's a little out of order, but I really wanted to write it. Let me know what you guys think. I've go finals this week, but I'll try and post again soon.