I'm back with the next chapter to Angel and yes, once again I'm late ;)
Sowwy ;3
So, there is one more chapter and an epilogue to come and I can't believe that this story is almost over…
Anyway, I hope you'll like this chapter. Enjoy!
There is an uncountable number of ways to imagine a wonderful day out in the sun. If someone would have asked John, he'd probably have said that today was the most wonderful day ever. The pain meds worked, keeping their headaches low enough to be almost forgotten and the shades dimmed the brightness around them enough so as not to bother Randy's returning sight. John's sickness and dizziness were actually gone. Good. Perfect.
They were together. Finally. It was like it should be, like it should always have been.
Now they sat in the shade of a big tree at the shore of a lake. Back against back. Feeling calm, simply good, surrounded by ease. A fishing-rod was resting loosely in John's hand and he let his head fall back, resting it on Randy's shoulder, sighing quietly. A soft, rumbling chuckle made him smile.
"You comfortable there?" the younger man asked.
"Yeah, quite comfortable, thank you, so don't you dare move," John answered, voice thick with contentment and yes, he could stay like this for a while… maybe even forever.
Lulled by the little bit of peace which engulfed them like a bubble, he allowed his eyes to close for a moment. He felt the warmth of the sun on his face, breaking through the treetop, washed away from another oh so soft breeze every once in a while. He smelled grass, water and sun, Randy's aftershave, heard the soft whisper of the trees and tiny splashes of the water against the small landing stage. He felt the little movements of Randy's shoulder while he breathed.
And something deep inside him stirred and awoke. A realization. This… was perfection. Despite the circumstances. This very moment. Pure contentment. And he… they… had this way too seldom. Slowly he opened his eyes again and stared up to the treetop, gazing at the gems of baby blue sky which were revealed by the gently waving branches. Yeah, a realization. He wanted this more often… hell, he wanted it forever, but…
"I think I want to settle down," John said quietly.
"Settle down? You can't possibly settle down more than you already have. You got a house with a nice little garden and you quit your job to be with me. We're sitting on the shore of a lake and you're fishing our dinner," Randy murmured, his voice tinged with amusement.
"I know, I know… but somehow it feels like something is missing," John explained slowly.
He felt Randy move a little as the younger man reached back and John met him, interlacing their fingers.
"You know, I don't feel like something's missing," Randy hummed. "For the first time in months… I don't know, maybe for the first time ever… I feel complete, Johnny. Because of you."
Turning his head a bit, he nuzzled the side of his face against Randy's neck, letting those words swarm over him. But as good as it felt to hear them, it also made him feel a little guilty. He was feeling like something was missing, but he hadn't meant it the way Randy obviously understood them.
"I didn't mean it like this," he murmured and he wished he could put his finger on what it was he was missing. "God knows I feel the same, Babe. You make my life perfect. You make me perfect, Ran."
There was a soft sigh and then Randy squeezed his hand slightly, the light hold becoming possessive in a way. John blinked. Maybe it was exactly that, own and being owned. Showing everyone that this man belonged to him. Being allowed to say it when other people were around, to kiss him without hiding. John blinked again. It was what he wanted. He wanted to put a ring on this man's finger and ask him if he wanted to marry him.
It was too soon though. They had just found their way back to one another and Randy was still married to Sam. All the back and forth they had been through, all the hurting. Being hurt. All the fighting. No. It was too soon…
"Penny for your thoughts," Randy mumbled.
John's smile broadened a tad, taking a deep breath full of peace, sun and Randy, before exhaling audibly. Perfection. Love. And if this was just a wonderful dream, then he wished he would never ever wake up again…
"I'm thinking about how much I love you, Randy."
John heard a soft snort.
"Amazing enough that you can love a self-centered, inconsiderate, ignorant, bitchy asshole like me," Randy said and there was a bit of guilt lying in his words.
Tugging at the hand he was holding, John hushed him with a grumbled hey.
"Don't say something like that. You're talking about the love of my life," John chided him quietly. "Well… you are an idiot at times though."
Another snort, but not amused.
"An idiot, huh?" Randy sighed. "You should hate me, Johnny. After all I have done to you, you really should hate me."
Blinking slowly, John tried to understand how a wonderful moment like the one they had just been lingering in could change so quickly. He was not willed to let that happen though and so he put the fishing rod aside, let go of Randy's hand and shifted until he was kneeling behind the other man, pulling him against his chest. It was wonderful to feel the soft rising and falling of Randy's chest, because those tiny things always gave him a good feeling. Those simpme things meant that Randy was alive. Silly, he knew that, but… he couldn't help it.
"I don't want to hear that, okay?" he said, breathing a kiss to Randy's temple. And a second, before he added: "What happened is a thing of the past. We're here now, together. Your sight is about to return. I love you, you love me and we have a long and wonderful life to live lying ahead. Together. You and me, Ran, you and me."
Lifting a hand, Randy smoothed over John's hair and pressed back into his embrace, murmuring: "You and me and Ally."
"Yeah, Ran. And Ally," John smiled against the younger man's skin and the thought of having Ally in their life… it felt… amazing.
Randy and Ally and him. A family…
The past weeks had been an up and down, an emotional rollercoaster and all the hoping, fearing and fighting, the being devastated and close to losing this man, to giving up… the clinging to the tiniest of chances… It had felt like his life… and he himself… had been ripped apart and put back together, sometimes with pieces being put to places where they didn't fit… and more than once he'd been sure that they had finally a future together, only to see that future drift away again.
But now… now he knew… no, he was sure… that nothing and no one could take it away from them again…
Again he placed a kiss to Randy's temple, a loving and sweet little kiss, before starting to kiss his way down to the younger man's neck where he stayed for a moment, licking and sucking a bit at the soft flesh. His reward was a low hum that he more felt than heard and it rolled through him. He loved to feel it vibrate throughout his whole body.
"Gonna file for divorce," Randy half moaned, half sighed as John kept his teasing up.
There was a certain tingling John felt in his belly at those words and his heart whispered yes with every beat, yet he didn't say it, mumbled instead against the additctive skin: "No need to rush things, Babe."
"Not rushing anything, Johnny." With another sigh Randy tilted his head a bit to the side, giving John more access. "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Being married to her feels wrong." A quiet groan passed his lips as John sucked hard at a soft patch of skin, leaving a dark mark on it. "If you keep this up, we'll have to fuck right here and now under this tree, Cena."
"If you don't mind having audience?" John chuckled, dropping his hand to a thigh… allowing it to wander to the inside, tentatively cupping the other man's crotch and yes, someone was being very interested.
"I don't fucking care about audience," Randy purred. "I can't see them anyway…"
With muttered goddamn John pressed his face into the crook of the younger man's neck as he felt heat pool between his legs, as he felt Randy's cock twitch under his touch. Images of him ripping the few clothes of that tempting body flooded his mind, of ravishing Randy right here and now and giving a fucking shit if people saw them. And those wonderful, tiny sounds Randy had rewarded him with as they had made love echoed in his ears… And then a hand settled on his own, pressing it firmer against the hardness under his palm.
"One day you're gonna be the death of me, Orton," he groaned and because he couldn't stand it longer, he threw their shades aside, gathered Randy in his arms and stood up, heading straight for the lake.
This lake gave him two options – either they would cool down a bit or… or they could have some… fun… without everyone acutally seeing what was going on. Stealing the tiny gasp of surprise Randy gave away with a kiss, he tried not to walk to strange, because walking wasn't quite easy right now.
"Where are we going?" Randy asked confused, blinking slowly while looking straight at John's face and it made John smile a broad and sunny smile, because he knew that Randy actually did see him. The expression on Randy's face became a little alarmed though as he heard a quiet splashing of water in the rhythm of John's steps and he repeated as alarmed: "John? Uhm, where are we going?!"
"We're going for a swim," John replied quietly, still smiling and silghtly relieved as the cool water on legs really cooled his… problem… down a little.
Randy was struggling in his arms for a second or two, but then he seemed to remember that it wouldn't help a bit if he freed himself of John's hold now and wrapped his arms around the blond man's neck instead in a very tight hold.
"What?! No, nono, come one, you can't be serious!" Randy begged, clinging to John.
A soft laughter dropped from John's lips as he slowly walked deeper into the lake, the cool water now rising to his belly and Randy's back, then up to both their chests and John stopped before he couldn't stand anymore. He felt Randy twitch a bit in his arms. The grey eyes were wide now, still alarmed and maybe even a little scared, yet it wasn't surprising, was it? Although Randy could see silhouttes, he could not really see, not yet, and he couldn't walk. That combined would leave him literally helpless if John would let go of him. Not knowing in which direction he would need to swim to get out of the water and swimming only with the arms…?
"I'm not gonna let go of you, Babe," John promised, placing a reassuring kiss to his lover's forehead.
But Randy kept clinging to John's neck like to a lifeline, voice dropping to barely a whisper that spoke of uncertainty, of being afraid as he said: "Johnny, I… I don't know…"
Bringing his mouth close to Randy's ear he whispered: "Let go, Randy. Trust me…" A kiss to the corner of Randy's mouth. "You do trust me, don't you, Babe?" he added then, placing another kiss there, receiving whispered yeah. "Good. Relax…"
And very reluctantly, Randy loosened his hold on John's neck, never letting go of him though, and with gentle hands John brought him into an upright position, wrapping an arm around the slim fram to hold him up and close… and safe. And he supressed a snort that wanted to escape as he realized that even now after almost freaking about the going for a swim thing, Randy's dick poked against his hip in full interest.
"That's it, Randy, let got. I've got you…" he said quietly in a voice as warm as the sun, resting his cheek against Randy's as he slowly felt the tension fade from his friend. "You are unbelievable, you know?" he murmured then, sneaking his free hand between their bodies and into the younger man's short, wrapping his fingers around his cock. "You are a naughty, naughty boy, Randal…"
A soft shiver ran though the body in his arms, morphing to a heavy shudder as John gave the twitching flesh in his hand a friendly tug and the needy whimper that slipped past Randy's lips shot right through him, igniting the heat between his own legs again and it flared up as Randy dropped one hand to John's cock. For a few heartbeats John closed his eyes, fighting the urge to rip those shorts off Randy and fuck the dear life out of him. Instead he began to move his hand in a slow rhythm, causing Randy to drop his head to John's shoulder, to press his face against his neck with a quiet moan.
Turning his head a bit, John nuzzled his face against the short cropped hair, exhaling a shuddering groan he felt the hand on his cock mirror his own. The heat spread, filling him as Randy quickened the pace, gently nipping and licking at his neck and all he could do was following him, moving his hand faster until they were moving in unison. Whispering his lover's name helplessly, he buried his face in the crook of Randy's neck and bucked his hips hard, again and again… Their moans were dimmed by hot skin and soft flesh and whispered words of love were floating in the small space between them, feeding a need deep within both men…
Maybe it was the floating feeling of the water that made everything even sexier, maybe it was the fact that they were just having sex in a lake where any second someone could come along and see them that was making it even hotter… or maybe it was just the lost time and the lost moments together… but soon, much too soon John felt his release approach him, felt the familiar tingle curl up in his belly and breathing his lover's name, he doubled his effort to make Randy follow him…
There was a sharp little gasp from Randy as he bit down on the soft skin of the younger man's neck, followed by a low, drawn-out groan as Randy came, trembling in John's arm, his cock twitching in his hand… The tingling in John's belly unfurled, flooding him as his orgasm hit him and with a hoarse little cry on his lips John came, holding on to the shivering body in his arm…
For long minutes they stayed like this, wrapped up in each other and for those minutes the world around them was quiet as they floated in the water and drifted in the waves of the aftermath. The water was cool on their heated skin and the sun smiled down on them. There was the chirping of the birds in the trees, the faint whispering of the trees in the breeze and the scent of grass in the air.
Eventually their eyes met, sparkling blue seeking glistening sliver, and John leaned in, stealing a sweet kiss from addictive lips, thinking that this... yes, this was perfection…
x
The day had been over much too fast, but after spending wonderful hours at the lake, Randy reached a certin point of exhaustion and John felt his own headache return, so they had to leave eventually.
And while Randy took a short nap, John had fixed the dinner. Pasta, because his attempt in fishing their dinner had not been graced with much success. The only fish he'd managed to lure out of the depths of the lake had practically been a baby and not even enough for one person, so the lucky thingy ended up in the water again, alive and happy.
When he went up to wake Randy, he'd spent long minutes just sitting on the edge of the bed, gazing at him, because a sleeping Randy was a beautiful sight. It warmed John's heart, gave him a light, peaceful feeling. As peaceful as Randy looked. And somehow he still couldn't grasp that he was allowed to see this forever from now on. Every day… watching this man as long as he wanted… touching him… kissing him…
Eventually it was time to wake him, and so John leaned in, peppering the handsome face with sweet little kisses, quietly calling his name until the sleeping beauty emerged from his slumber and for a handful of wonderful minutes they lay there, cuddling a bit, before finally going down for dinner.
Strange, wasn't it? This now, it was their first dinner together. Like, really being together, not sitting together at the table.
The glass in his hand seemed to glisten due to the reflection of the dimmed lights. He stared at the wine, swirling it gently. This… now… it was what he'd always wanted. All this. Spending his life with the one person he loved, living a good life.
Okay, life could have been better. A life where Randy could move his legs, where he wasn't blind... Sure, such a life would be the perfect one. But they were here now and Randy was alive, taking step after step to get well again. And, well, Randy wasn't blind anymore, was he? His sight was returning. And they were together. It was what he told himself over and over again.
John let his gaze roam, taking in the mood of the dimmed room, warm, comfortably, let his eyes linger a moment longer when they found Randy, who was eating his dinner silently. Randy didn't seem to feel his stare, like he'd done often enough, and after a few seconds John's eyes were back at the deep red liquor. He felt warmth spread from deep inside his chest.
What I always wanted…
Perfection. Their own little perfect world and he wanted everyone to see it.
"I think we should make this an official thing," he spoke quietly into the silence, his eyes still fixed on the glass in his hand.
From the corner of his eyes he saw Randy pause, fork half-way to his mouth and his eyes looking in the rough direction of the plate in front of him. For a moment that seemed to last forever he just sat there like a statue and John felt a cold grip around his heart. This hadn't come out right. The wrong words in the wrong moment. The fact that Randy wanted file for divorce didn't necessarily mean that he wanted the whole world to know about them.
But just as John wanted to apologize… somehow… for speaking first and thinking after, he saw Randy nod ever so softly.
"Yeah," he replied as quietly and continued to eat, a small smile ghosting around those beautiful lips.
John set the glass down, going back to eating, too, with a tender smile on his lips. Randy had agreed. And he had not only agreed, there was something in the way he'd said yes and John couldn't quite get his hands on, but it wasn't just a yeah. It was a yeah. Almost like: Why do you think you even have to ask?
From the corner of his eyes he noticed the small smile becoming wider, before Randy said impishly: "You know… I'm gonna overrun anyone who tries to hit on you with my wheelchair."
There was a certain, tiny twinkle in those grey eyes as Randy gazed up for a second, combined with the impish note in his voice, John couldn't help but laugh softly. Even more so as he imagined the whole thing.
Quietness fell, but it was a good one. The kind of quietness you only can have when everything was okay, perfect even. One when you don't feel the urge to fill that quietness with words. One in which you only feel.
Not much later it was the doorbell which cut into the quietness. With a sigh John decided to ignore it, but the unannounced visitor turned out to be persitent and with another sigh John eventually got up and went to the door, Randy's muttered complaints following him as he did. The dinner was eaten anyway, but he'd hoped for some after-dinner cuddling with Randy on the couch. Some kissing, groping… some more of… everything. Maybe even an reenactment of their lake-perfomance… So much for that…
All those thoughts though were wiped away as he opened the door, finding Phil standing there who scrutinized him in worry.
"Hey, Sunshine," Phil greeted him quietly as he stepped in. "How are you feeling?"
Reaching out, Phil touched John's sore cheek and John couldn't help but lean into the touch. Those hands… this man… had given him so much comfort that it didn't feel wrong, no matter how much he loved Randy. After all that Phil had done for him, this man would forever be someone very special for him. The hand smoothed back to the back of John's neck as Phil moved in to hug him.
"I'm feeling much better," John replied softly, returning the hug. Tightening his hold on the other man a little, he added: "Thank you for being there for me yesterday."
After a moment he drew back, leaving a tiny kiss on Phil's cheek. One he regretted almost immediately as it brought a sad little smile to Phil's lips.
"Randy's sight is returning," he said smiling. "He can see silhouttes since he woke up this morning."
The sadness vanished from Phil's smile, giving way to a honest happiness.
"Hey, that's… that's great! So, uhm… you look happy, Sunshine. Looks like you got your happily ever after finally, huh?" Phil said and there was a fleeting expression in those green orbs.
There it was again. Sadness.
"Yeah," John sighed and suddenly there was bitter guilt between all the joy he was feeling. Guilt for being the cause that Phil was sad. "Phil, I…"
Phil cut him off with a curt shake of his head.
"It's okay, Sunshine. I admit I… I wanted you all for myself and I still want you, but I knew what I was getting myself into, so… if you're happy, then it's exactly how it should be," Phil whispered then, trailing his fingertips in a gently caress over John's chest and John caught his hand, holding it over his heart.
His heart jumped a little and he could read on the other man's face that he felt it. He didn't love Phil, not like he loved Randy. By far not. The love he felt for this man went beyond friendship, but wasn't the kind of romantic love, despite the attraction between them. But Phil was a perfect package of everything one would wish for and John hoped, really hoped that Phil would soon find someone who could love him back the way he deserved it.
"Punk?"
The hand over his heart was pulled back as Randy's voice shattered the moment and Phil took a step or two back, gazing over to Randy who slowly approached them.
"Hello, Randal."
Glaring up to Phil, Randy scrunched his nose at being called that.
"Stop Randal-ing me, Punk," Randy snapped, but it lacked of any hostility.
"Then stop Punk-ing me, Randal," Phil snorted.
Randy stopped as he reached the two man, reaching for John's hand to tug him closer and as John leaned down, Randy pulled him in for a kiss… marking his territory. When John looked up to Phil again who had his gaze averted, he felt even more guilty.
"Don't you have a home to go, Brooks?" Randy asked, not letting go of John's hand.
"I missed your lovely voice, Orton," Phil said, grinning as John gave him an apologizing look. "I actually forgot my cell here and Vince asked me to deliver a message to John."
Frowning, John muttered: "A message from Vince? Why didn't he call me?"
Phil shrugged his shoulder and scratched his chin.
"Maybe he thought that the chance that you agree is bigger if a friend asks you, instead of your ex-boss? Whatever, he wants you to come back. Under your terms."
For a moment John stared at Phil, then gazed down at Randy who looked up to him with a soft smile and then back to Phil.
A part of him wanted to go back, but a bigger part of him wanted to spend the 24/7 with Randy and almost as if he knew that John wanted to decline, Phil added quickly: "He wants you to think about it. He doesn't expect an answer tomorrow, okay? And… you know, there are a lot of people who would be happy if you came back."
Like me. Even Randy could hear the hidden message in those words, causing him to tighten his hold on John's hand. It was his unspoken answer to this hidden message. This man is mine. But despite the ever present fact that Phil had a thing for the man he loved, Randy felt happy for John that Vince wanted him to come back, because before all this had happened, this job had been John's life.
"Johnny, that's great. You should really think about it," Randy said quietly. "You loved the job and we can still spend enough time together. And I could come with you to the company."
"I don't know…" John murmured, rubbing a hand over his forehead. "I'll call Vince tomorrow and then we'll see…"
"Good boy," Randy smiled and breathed a kiss to the back of John's hand, before he finally let go of it and began to move the wheelchair forward, straight through the not very big space between the two standing man.
And neatly over Phil's feet.
"Fuuuuuck!" Phil groaned pained, hunching down to cover his hurting feet with his hands as if he could stop the pain with it.
"Ooopsie…" Randy grinned as he continued his way towards the living-room, while John covered the tiny smile he couldn't stop with his hand.
Bitchy Randal was back.
"Man, who gave you the driver's licence for this thing?" Phil half snapped, half-groaned as he glared daggers at the other man. "How many people have you overrun already, huh?!"
"Congrats, Brooks, you're the first one," Randy called over his shoulder, not even trying to hide the chuckle. "Now stop crying and move your ass over here, I need to talk to you."
Frowning, Phil stood up, shooting John a questioning gaze that was answered with a shrug.
Slightly alarmed, John asked: "Uhm… do I need to be worried?"
"I promise I'll leave him in one piece, Johnny."
"Okay? Uhm, then I'm gonna go to he kitchen and… clear the table…"
Still slightly alarmed, John watched as Randy disappeared in the living-room and Phil followed. And then he shook his head, chiding himself because the worst thing that could happen was hard words between those two and… more flattened feet.
Randy stopped as he reached the couch, hearing soft steps following him, coming closer until the sound stopped right beside him. A quiet rustling followed as Phil obviously hunched down beside him, but the other man stayed silent.
After a few seconds Randy said: "Thanks, Phil."
A moment of surprised silence followed.
Then: "What for?"
The smile that stretched Randy's lips was bitter, but he didn't fight it.
"For kicking my ass yesterday," he said, reaching for the man at his side and as his hand found a shoulder, he squeezed it lightly. "I now how hard it must be for you."
He heard a sigh and from the corner of his eyes he saw as Phil dipped his head forward. For once he felt the urge to comfort Phil, because although loving John, he did what he'd done yesterday, knowing he would most likely lose the last chance to be with the man he loved.
"Yeah…" Phil whispered, reaching up to cover the hand on his shoulder. "Listen, Randy… I don't hate you and maybe there is a chance that we can be friends? And it would make it easier for John." Nodding slowly, Randy thought that it wasn't a bad idea, that they could at least try it. "Good. But… I meant what I said yesterday. Make him happy. If you hurt him again, I'm gonna do everything I can to take him away from you. Keep that in mind."
Again Randy squeezed the other man's shoulder, knowing that Phil was serious but he felt much too happy to fight with the man who had been there for John while he himself had been the biggest bastard ever, who was willed to step back and give the man he loved up.
"Careful who you're threatening, Brooks, or it won't just be your feet I overrun the next time," Randy mock-threatened him, receiving a snort. "Now go and get your cell. And you can hug him, but no kisses. I can be very quick with this damn wheelchair if necessary."
His hand was patted. And then Phil stood up, leaving him alone. The funny thing was… that he trusted Phil. He trusted him not to try taking John away from him as long as didn't do anything stupid again. Faintly he heard Phil and John talk, heard them move about the hall and the kitchen. Heard them laugh. Then he heard nothing for a moment, before the front door opened and closed again.
Patiently he waited long seconds, smiling as he heard soft steps approach him. He knew those steps and he knew the touch as hands settled on his shoulders, slowly sliding forward to his chest and and he knew the caress of those lips on his temple.
His own hands found the ones on his chest, settling on them to hold them close and with a contented sigh he let his head drop back against John's broad shoulder, breathing his addicitve scent and as John whispered close to his ear, he let himself fall into those words which were spreading throughout him like the golden perfection they were carrying.
I love you…