Hey guys! Wow, 68 followers, 38 reviews, and 40 faves. Thank you for the support you guys! :D
Instead of splitting the loooooong chapter into two parts like I did the last one, I'm leaving it as one. It does help that I don't have a mini writer's block this time. :P I am pretty nervous about the response you guys will have to this chapter. I hope you guys will like this!
WARNING: There is a reference to religion in this chapter. Do not post reviews or send me PMs complaining about it. It's just a reference. Thank you. :) For those who don't care, thank you too. XD
Just warning you now, from here on out, the drama will only intensify. But don't worry, there will still be fluff.
Enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 6 Only Lonely
Shortly after coming back from Shiganshina, it was almost time for final exams, then winter vacation. When December arrived, Eren saw less and less of Levi as the days went by. Levi surprisingly had more exams than Eren did. And since he had no idea what Levi was even studying, Eren was kept in the dark. Levi became more irritable and cranky than usual, resulting in an argument that would end with Levi kicking Eren out of the dorm or else he would abuse his power as RA to write him up.
One afternoon Friday night, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were sitting in the Ocean Prime Cafe.. His sister and best friend had noticed Eren's sour mood recently, so they wanted to cheer him up.
"So Eren, how was your freshwater biology exam today?" Mikasa asked her brother kindly.
Eren poked at his salmon. "It was alright, I guess. I can't wait to get started on actual marine biology next semester, though."
"I see..." Mikasa looked at Armin, willing him to say something.
"Oh! Uh..." Armin stammered. "So Eren, have the exams been getting you down or something? You're not as energetic and cheerful like you're usually are."
Eren was not going to crack that easily. He just drummed his fingers on the table. "Well, not everyone can be happy all of the time."
"True..." Armin eyed Mikasa. She gave him a nod. They were about to use the magic word.
"Has... Levi been troubling you?" Armin asked carefully.
Eren visibly flinched. "...what about him?"
"What he said." Mikasa replied. "Has he been troubling you?"
"He...he's just being a cranky old man, that's all." Eren sighed.
"So he is troubling you." Armin clarified.
"Don't say it like that." Eren said, frustrated. "It's not like it's affecting my or anything."
Mikasa leaned forward, he chin resting on both her wrists. "Eren... what is your relationship with Levi?"
"What...?" Eren's face flushed. "Where the hell is this coming from?! We're not in a relationship! I'm not gay!"
"..." Mikasa and Armin were speechless at Eren's outburst.
"Heh heh heh... could have fooled me."
Eren's eye twitched at the sound of Jean Kirstein's voice from behind him. "What do you want, horse face?"
"Not guys, like you." Jean sneered.
Eren stood up, ready to fight. "What'd you say?!"
"Armin, take Eren somewhere else." Mikasa said calmly. "I'll deal with this."
"O-Okay." Armin quickly stood up and dragged Eren, still raging, outside. From the counter, Petra sighed.
Wow... Eren is just as uptight as Levi. She thought sadly. It's almost that time for Levi... I hope he doesn't push Eren away because of it.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
"Damn that horse! I'm gonna kill him!" Eren seethed.
"Eren! Eren, calm down!" Armin cried.
He sat Eren on a bench. He put his head in his hands, taking deep breaths.
"Eren, we weren't calling you gay back there." Armin explained, sitting down next to him. "We know that brings back painful memories. So we would never call you that. We just know that you and Levi are pretty close. You were so excited to finish freshwater biology and take the exams so you could move on to marine biology, so that alone couldn't have upset you. We just figured Levi was a likely candidate."
Eren sat up straight. "Sorry. I've just been bottling up my anger for the last week. Yelling you at you and Mikasa and fighting Jean were great ways to relieve it, since..."
"...there was no way you could retaliate against Levi." Armin finished.
"Yeah." Eren put his head back in his hands again. "Still, fuck Jean. I hate his guts."
"He's not that bad once you get used to him." Armin smiled. "I should know. I'm his roommate, after all."
"Wish I could say the same about Levi." Eren sighed. "As soon as I thought we were getting close, he gets worse and worse with his bad moods. He almost broke my fish tank with the rosy bitterlings."
"Wow... that's rough. Maybe something is bothering him." Armin said. "You know... there are many people who detest the Christmas holiday because something awful happened to them during such a cheerful time."
Eren thought about it for a minute. "I guess. I mean, Levi was in the army before he came here..."
"Then be patient with him." Armin suggested. "If he can't share it with you, then it's something really painful. He's just lashing his anger at you, like what you did to me, Mikasa, and Jean back there."
Armin stood up. "It's getting late. We better get some sleep. We leave for Shiganshina after exams tomorrow."
"Right." Eren stood up as well. "I wonder what Mikasa did with Jean."
At that moment, they spotted Jean staggering towards them. He had a black eye and his clothes were jostled.
"Whoa... that Mikasa sure knows how to throw a punch. What a woman..." Jean said, not even noticing Eren and Armin.
The two friends stood there before bursting with laughter.
"I guess that answers your question!" Armin patted Eren on the back. "I better walk with him back to our dorm. See you tomorrow, Eren."
"See ya." Eren waved as Armin ran to catch up with Jean.
The brunette started to walk back to the dorm, but an idea popped into his head. He rushed back to the cafe and entered the back door.
"Petra?" Eren called, walking into the kitchen. "Petra!"
A tall blond man stopped what he was doing and walked to the front.
"Petra, there's a boy here calling for you." He told her.
"Thanks Reiner." Petra hurried to the back and saw Eren. "Eren! What's up?"
Eren suddenly felt shy. "Well...er... it's about Levi."
Petra felt her stomach drop. "What is it? What happened to him?"
Eren shook his head. "No, no, he's fine." Eren was suspicious when Petra sighed in relief. "...is there a reason why he would not be okay?"
Petra quickly regained her composure. "No! No, of course not! It's just that this month is hard for him. So, what about Levi did you want to talk to me about?"
Eren looked around and noticed the other workers were trying to subtly eavesdrop on them. He beckoned Petra to lean in and he whispered in her ear. Her mouth made an "o" shape when he finished.
"Eren, I don't think that's a good idea." She said honestly. "Besides, his birthday is on Christmas."
"Really?" Eren's eyes widened. "Then that gives us more reason to do it! Please help me with this. I want to do everything I can to cheer him up."
"You know that means you won't be able to go back to your family after exams tomorrow." Petra warned Eren. "Christmas is in two days. Classes don't resume until January 30th."
"I know." Eren sighed. "But he went with me to Shiganshina over Thanksgiving. Even though it was only for two days, I'm sure Levi felt uncomfortable. Besides, my family will understand. I'll get to see them again soon. From the looks of it, Levi doesn't have anyone to go home to. Nothing's worse than being alone for the holidays."
Petra's was shocked. "Eren... you must really love Levi."
"What?!" Eren clutched his head. "I don't! For the last time I'm not gay!"
"For the last time...?" Petra repeated, confused.
Eren had trouble controlling his breathing again.
Why is this happening? Why does everyone think I'm fucking gay?! It's like I'm reliving middle school and high school all over again!
"Eren?" Petra's voice snapped Eren out of it. "I'm sorry for saying that. I'm sure you're just a really good friend to Levi. You do care about him, right?"
Eren sighed. "Yes."
"So," Petra started to walk back to the front. "I get off my shift in about ten minutes. You and I can go to the drugstore then."
"Okay! Thanks a bunch, Petra!" Eren grinned widely.
Petra resumed working. If Eren isn't in love with Levi, why is he doing all of this? He has gone way beyond the duty of a normal friend. The way the two act around each other, it is obvious that they're not best friends like Hanji. So what is it?
Eren didn't hear Levi come in that night. At midnight, Levi quietly walked around the dorm, putting certain belongings of his down. He walked over to Eren, who was sleeping soundly. Levi reached a hand out to run through his hair. As soon as he touched him, Levi felt the voice come back. Grunting, Levi pulled his hand away.
Why does this happen when I touch him, too?
Levi showered and went to bed, not looking at Eren again.
In two days, my birthday, I will relive what I've been repressing in my mind. Oluo... Gunther... Eld. Please don't be angry with me for pushing someone else away. I have to... so I won't remember him.
~.~.~.~.~
The next day, Eren woke up bright and early for his last exams. Breaking the news to Armin and Mikasa that he was staying over break was hard enough. Having to explain it to his lonely mother was going to be even harder. So... he put all of the responsibility on Armin and Mikasa.
Eren looked over to the side of the room. Levi, of course, was already gone. Eren got out of bed and looked under it. He sighed in relief when he saw the items he and Petra bought from the drugstore were still there.
Levi's always been grumpy, but now I can tell that he's really upset about something. I hope this cheers him up. Eren thought. Petra will be over here to help at three. I can't wait.
After taking a quick shower, Eren walked out of the dorm and to his English class. When he got there, Armin looked as pale as a sheet.
"Yo Armin, what's wrong?" Eren asked, sliding in the seat next to him.
"Well, I ended up calling your mom to tell her that you weren't coming. Mikasa thought I would be a better choice since I'm apparently more emotional and would be patient if she got upset."
"She has a point."
Armin glared at his friend. "Anyway, she was furious. She demanded to know why everyone in her family is deciding to her leave her alone. I think she was already upset before I called. So what are you going to do, Eren?"
Eren sighed. "I'll apologize to her a little later. I don't want her to think I don't love her. But Levi needs someone during the holidays. And I'm the only one who can do it."
"Okay." Armin faced forward. "Let's just hope she doesn't tear down the campus looking for you when she gets here."
Eren sweat dropped at the thought. "I hope not."
~.~.~.~.~.~
After the exam, Eren and Armin said their goodbyes then, since this would be the last time they would see each other until the end of January. Eren reluctantly took out his cell phone and dialed Carla's number. He winced when he heard Carla pick up.
"Eren?!"
"Hey, Mom." Eren walked over to a bench and sat down. "Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you myself that I wasn't coming home. I realize that it was cowardly of me."
"Why are you doing this?" Carla asked, pained. "I was okay with you bringing Levi over for Thanksgiving, but now you want to stay with him? He's a grown man!"
"I know, I know. But Mom, I'll be fine." Eren tried to assure her.
"Just why do you like this man so much?!" Carla asked, slowly growing hysterical. "What about him makes him so much more of a priority than your own family?"
"Mom, it's not that!" Eren said, raising his voice slightly. "It's just that Levi needs someone."
"And it has to be my innocent 18 year old son?" Carla asked.
"Mom! This may be a bit of s surprise to you, but I'm not innocent!" Eren shouted into the phone.
There was a silence on the other line.
"Mom?" Eren spoke into the phone.
"...I've recently found out why your father has been leaving for long periods of time." Carla said lowly. "He has been sleeping around with multiple women. One of them called the house, thinking I was a maid! And it looks like you're following in his footsteps! You're going to abandon me. And instead of abandoning me for women, you'll be abandoning me for men!"
Eren's teeth clenched together as memories flooded his mind.
"What? You don't like it when I hit you? What are you gonna do about it, faggot?"
"Hey gay boy! How much will you suck dick for?"
"What, you think you can take me in a fight, you freak? Bring it on!"
"Aw, look at that! He's crying like a little bitch. Not surprising!"
I am not gay... I am not gay... I AM NOT GAY!
With that, Eren's mind went white. He had no idea what he said to his mother after that. But after he was brought back to reality ten minutes later, a group of college students were staring at him in shock, and the other line was dead.
What... what just happened?
Eren quickly stood up and walked briskly back to his dorm, his heart thumping against his chest. He tried calling Carla multiple times, and each time, the call went straight to voice mail.
"Damn it!" Eren quickly texted Armin and Mikasa, explaining to them what happened and to make sure they talk to her when she picks them up later.
Eren sat alone in the dorm, curled up in the fetal position.
"Damn it, why? Why does all of this shit happen? I'm not gay! Why can't people understand that?" Eren felt tears threatening to fall. And for once, he let them.
Knock, knock.
Eren's eyes snapped open. He looked around, panicked. He felt like he had only been crying for a few minutes. But his clock said otherwise. It was three pm.
"Eren! It's Petra." The door knocker called.
Shit! I completely forgot about the surprise for Levi! Eren jumped off the bed and hurried in the bathroom to see what he looked like. He looked like crap. Eren quickly grabbed his washcloth, ran it under cold water, and wiped his face. Even though his eyes were still a bit red, his face looked a lot better. Content, Eren opened the door and fake smiled.
"Hey Petra."
Petra smiled back. "So Eren, what were you crying about?"
Eren was taken aback. "What?"
"I could hear you sobbing through the door." She replied. "I was knocking for five minutes."
Eren looked away uncomfortably. "Er..." Eren tried to think of something to say. Finally he settled with his mom. "My mom and I got in a fight."
Petra looked at Eren sympathetically. "Because you wanted to stay with Levi, right?"
"Yeah. She's really upset. I'm not sure if I could face her again." Eren told her. "I said some mean things." Or, at least I think I did.
Petra put a hand on Eren's shoulder. "Your mom loves you. She'll forgive you if you forgive her. So don't worry about it. Let's focus on something happy! Like this surprise for Levi! Christmas is tomorrow, after all. Though..." Petra trailed, suddenly remembering something.
"What?" Eren asked, tilting his head.
"Oh, it's nothing." Petra waved it away. "So, let's get started! Let's be happy!"
"Okay." Eren gave Petra a genuine smile. He believed her.
Yes, everything will be just fine. I'll make up with my mother. I'll wait a few days, so she can at least not be upset in front of Mikasa. Mom... I'm so sorry.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Eren woke up the next day to 70 degree weather in Mitras. People were spending Christmas outside, playing outside, at the beach, or walking around. Eren looked at the sun shining through the window. He looked around his own dorm in content.
Well, Levi never came back last night. I waited up for him. Eren sighed, seeing that Levi's side of the room looked the exact same as yesterday. I wonder where he went?
Eren got dressed and walked out of the dorm. The campus was pretty much empty except for the people that did not have a home to go to for the holidays. He knew that outside the campus would be bustling with people. Eren walked down the hall and spotted Mikasa's roommate Hanji.
"Hey, Hanji!" Eren called out to the dark brown haired woman.
The eccentric woman turned around and grinned. "Well hello there, my future test subject! What are you doing here?"
Eren felt uncomfortable with the title Hanji gave him. "Er, nothing. You don't go home?"
Hanji laughed. "What home? Me, Petra, and Levi don't really have much of a home to go back to since we were in the military for so long. Well, technically Levi does, but-"
Petra was in the army too?!
"Do you know where Levi is? So... I can wish him happy birthday?" Eren asked, planning his words carefully.
"It's too bad. He's never on campus on his birthday." Hanji informed Eren. "I don't know why, but he always leaves the day before with a suitcase and goes to the northern part of Mitras."
"What...?" Eren was shocked. "How do you know?"
"Apparently Petra found out first, but that's all the info she told me." Hanji shrugged.
"Do you know where she is now?" Eren asked.
"Sure. She's most likely at the beach. Ever since she found out about Levi leaving for northern Mitras, she's been meditating there."
"Thanks, Hanji." Eren ran past Hanji and out the dorm. It didn't take him long to locate her. Sure enough, Petra was sitting by the shore, staring blissfully out into the sea.
"Petra." Eren called, approaching her.
Petra looked up, surprised to see him. "Hi, Eren."
The brunette sat down beside her. "Petra, please tell me what's going on with Levi. It seems like know a lot more than you're letting on. Even Hanji doesn't know much, and she's Levi's best friend."
Petra looked away. "I can't. I can't betray Levi's trust."
"Petra... is he in trouble?" Eren asked.
"Not particularly... but then again..."
"Petra!" Eren grabbed Petra's shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Please tell me what's going on. Why is he so angry in December? Why does he got to northern Mitras on his birthday?"
Petra's lips quivered. "He'll kill me if I tell you..."
"I'll take full responsibility." Eren assured her. "So please... if Levi and I are as close as you say we are, then I'll act on it."
Petra's eyes widened. Eren... just what are your feelings about Levi? You say you don't love him, yet you care about him so much.
"...fine." Petra closed her eyes. "And after I tell you... I'll take you up to northern Mitras to see him.
" Thank you, Petra. I owe you one..."
Levi stared at the three graves with a bottle of wine in one hand. He knelt down in front of them, his eyes unmoved. Though he looked calm on the outside, there was a spiraling storm going on inside. As he remembered how his squad got taken out, he was reduced to nothing.
"Oluo...Gunther...Eld." Levi read the name on each gravestone.
The grey sky above him opened up, snowing softly falling on the cemetery dedicated to those who died in the army.
Levi popped the cork off the bottle and took a swig of the wine. There was no way he could continue to stay in once piece if he wasn't a little under the influence.
"So much has happened this year." Levi whispered to the graves. "I'm not dead, obviously. Petra and Hanji are still here. But... a brat has shown up as my new roommate."
If it wasn't for the wine, Levi would have felt ridiculous talking to a bunch of rocks. His squad was dead. They could not hear him anymore. And he wasn't into ghosts either. However... he knew that talking to them would be the only way he could cope with the pain.
Taking another swig of the wine, Levi continued. "And he's not just some ordinary brat. He's the most stubborn little shit I've ever seen. He could almost top shitty glasses. Oluo, you probably wouldn't have liked him much. But... for some reason, he's nice to me. He's concerned about me. And he's bringing back all of the painful memories I've worked so hard to suppress and never think about again. Especially...him. I can't recall his name, most likely because that's the one memory I wanted to keep suppressed the most. But whoever he is, his face and voice keep appearing in my mind. And I don't know what to do."
It was not in Levi's nature to cry, so whenever he has the urge to, he tipped the wine bottle slightly, the blood red liquid making tear drop shapes on the pure white snow.
"I don't remember who my first love is... and I'm guessing it's him. But... Eren has been invading my mind. I don't deserve to feel the slightest bit of happiness when he smiles. I don't deserve to feel this tugging on my chest whenever he talks to me. The tugging on my chest... I'm sure it's love."
Levi tipped the wine bottle.
"Oluo, Gunther, Eld. I will spend the rest of my life mourning your deaths. I will spend the rest of my life being lonely. That is my destiny. So I have to push Eren away. I will not deny that I am a terrible person. I know on your deathbed, Oluo, you told me to live on and be happy. I can't. I'm responsible for all of your deaths. I should have taken the bullets you, Gunther, and Eld took. Not you guys. I was being stupid and not looking where I was going."
Levi tipped the wine bottle.
"I'm nothing. I'm a monster. I don't deserve to live, but dying would be too easy for me. I have to live with this."
"Levi."
Levi froze, dropping the bottle. It landed sideways on the ground, the crimson liquid pouring out and staining the snow.
There's no way. There is no way in hell he's here. Eren...
The brunette kneeled next to the raven haired man. He closed his eyes and clasped his hands together in prayer, giving respect to Oluo, Gunther, and Eld.
"Eren... what the hell are you doing here?" Levi growled, his eyes glinting dangerously.
Eren said nothing. He picked up the wine bottle and tossed away a few feet. Then, he wrapped his arms around Levi as Petra's words from earlier ran through his mind.
"Levi goes to northern Mitras every year to the Sina National Cemetery." Petra revealed. "On Christmas day, which is of course Levi's birthday, we were on a ground mission. Levi was upset that day, and he mouthed off to Oluo, Gunther, and Eld. They tried to calm him down, but he refused to listen. Then... everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Levi walked into the open, and the enemy shot at him. Eld and Gunther quickly jumped in front of Levi, the bullets killing them immediately. Me and Oluo grabbed Levi and ran, but as soon as we were safe, it was discovered that Oluo had been shot once in the chest. It was too late to stop the bleeding, and he died in the aid room."
Eren covered his mouth with his hand, feeling like he was about to cry again. "What?"
"Levi never got over it." Petra felt her own tears coming on. "None of us did. We tried to move on, but Levi couldn't. And the person Levi was upset with... well, we don't know what happened to him. Even though he was considered MIA, we just had to assume he was dead."
"Who... was this person?" Eren asked.
"That's the one thing I cannot tell you under any circumstances." Petra told him firmly, the tears finally spilling over. "Because... Levi doesn't even remember him. He's repressed him. So, if anyone tells you, it'll have to be Levi."
Petra stood up, wiping sand from her shorts. "C'mon, let's go. Northern Mitras is about two hours away. You'll need to bring a coat, though. Unlike here, northern Mitras is a bleak and cold place."
"Okay." Eren's heart clenched.
Levi... I had no idea you had so much harboring inside you. I'll always be here for you, whether you accept me or not.
Eren rushed back to his dorm room. Before he left, Eren looked at the two beds thoughtfully...
Eren was brought back out of his thoughts when he felt Levi shove him.
"Why the fuck are you here?!" Levi shouted, balling his fists.
Afraid Levi was going to punch him, Eren put his arms up around his face.
"Who brought you here?!"
"That's none of your concern." Eren said, surprisingly harsh. "What matters is you right now."
Eren put his arms down as soon as he was confident that Levi would not attack him. Levi was breathing heavily.
"Please listen to me, Levi." Eren said. "Will you do that?"
Levi didn't respond, so Eren went ahead.
"Levi... there is nothing I can say to relate to you about this. Nothing at all. I can never say I understand how you feel, because I don't. I've never lost someone important to me. Ever. But... that doesn't mean I'm going to let you drive yourself insane."
Eren looked Levi dead in the eye. "You might not believe me, but I care about you. A lot. I'm not just some brat who happens to be your roomie. You have to let some of this go. Drowning yourself in wine is not going to make things better. Torturing yourself with this guilt is going to put you six feet under right along with the friends who protected you from death!"
Levi twitched violently. Instead backing away, Eren scooted closer to him. He wrapped his arms around Levi again. This time, Levi didn't push him away.
"From what I was told, Oluo, Gunther, and Eld wanted you to live on happily." Eren whispered. "That's why they protected you. You cannot keep blaming yourself. Who would wish something like that on you? Levi... you don't deserve to be lonely. You have so many people who want the best for you. Hanji... Petra... Armin... Mikasa... and me. Even though Armin and Mikasa don't talk to you much, they texted me a few minutes ago, asking if you were okay. Hanji is your best friend. Petra is a nurturing soul who cares about you so much. And me... I... I... just want you to be happy. And no matter what it takes, I'll help you get to that point."
Eren stroke Levi's hair. "I know letting go won't be easy. I can hold a grudge for a very long time about anything. In fact... I have some own memories of mine that I'm fighting to let go. So let's do it together, okay?"
At that moment, Eren felt something wet on his shoulder. Looking down, he saw Levi silently shedding tears. Eren's eyes widened for a second, but they quickly softened. "You haven't cried in a long time, have you?"
Eren tightened his embrace. "Let it all out. Right now. Don't hold anything back."
Eren heard footsteps come up behind him. It was Petra. She kneeled down on the other side of Levi and hugged him too.
"Levi, we're here for you." Petra told him softly. "Always."
To their surprise, Levi grasped the both of them, pulling them closer to him.
"I know." Levi replied.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
On the ride back to the southern part of Mitras, Levi was slumped in the backseat. Eren was next to him.
"Levi... I have something we need to do when we get back." Eren whispered. "It'll be good for the both of us, okay?"
"Shut up, brat. Your voice is making my head spin." Levi snapped.
"How dare you!" Eren cried. "I'm trying to help you!"
"Quiet! I haven't cried in nineteen years, so this is all giving me a splitting headache." Levi barked.
Eren gasped. "Nineteen years?!" He repeated. "Wow! I wasn't even born yet!"
Rolling his eyes, Levi leaned over in the seat as Eren continued to babble on. Petra smiled from the driver's seat.
Levi's in love with that kid. It's obvious. But... what about Eren? I wonder if he himself has any idea. Petra sighed to herself. Oh well. At least Levi is happier knowing Eren won't be leaving his side anytime soon.
As soon as the three returned to the warmer part of Mitras, Petra was planning her escape. She wasn't quick enough. Right as Petra hopped out of the driver's seat, Levi was already standing in front of her.
Wham!
"Owww!" Petra whined, rubbing her head. "What was that for?"
"For telling Eren about Oluo, Gunther, and Eld when you swore not to." Levi barked. "And... thanks, I guess. I think I would have killed myself today if it weren't for you going back on your word."
Petra's eyes widened. "Levi..."
"Levi! C'mon! We have stuff to do!" Eren called to him.
Levi exhaled through his nose. "Excuse me, Petra. I have a brat to deal with."
Petra sighed in happiness when Levi walked over to Eren. I'm so thankful for Eren. I think Levi is going to be okay.
"What do you want, brat?" Levi asked.
"Can't tell you yet." Eren grinned. "I can tell you that we have to go to the marine biology building. So let's go!"
Eren grabbed Levi's hand and hurried off. Levi was not wearing the appropriate clothing for running, and with the warm weather, he was already wincing at the sweat stains that would soon appear. But, he decided to focus on the brunette in front of him.
He's so naïve... but somehow, he managed to make me think about what I was doing to myself. Why? So many people have tried before. Why was this brat able to do it? Is it because of my feelings towards him? Maybe. But... maybe it is his naivety. His views on life are so different from mine. He wants to live. He wants to be happy. And if he's been through anything horrible, I'm sure he wants to move on because it's a waste... of time...
"Levi? Hello? Are you in there?" Eren waved a hand in front of his face.
Levi looked around. They were in the pool area. "Why the fuck are we here?"
Eren stared at the pool, a goofy grin on his face. "Water is an archetype. One of the most popular ones is the idea that water symbolizes rebirth. In biblical times, people were baptized in water after they repented to recognize their turn from sin to God. They are reborn, in a sense, into a different person. I'm not religious, but I think that's pretty interesting."
"I think it's stupid." Levi scoffed, looking away. "So what does any of that have to do with us being here?"
Eren jumped into the pool, fully clothed. Water splashed upwards, almost landing on Levi.
"What fucking hell?!" Levi shouted when Eren resurfaced.
"We are going to be reborn today!" Eren grinned. "Only in this version, you will be turning away from your past and turning towards the future."
Levi crossed his arms. "There is no way I'm going in there. In case you didn't notice, I'm actually wearing pretty nice clothes."
Eren looked at his black pants and buttoned down shirt. "Wow, those are pretty nice."
"Exactly, so I would appreciate it if you would- gah!"
Eren grabbed Levi's ankle and dragged him into the pool. As soon as Levi resurfaced, he was ready to kill some brats.
"Eren!" Levi shouted.
Eren had gone back underwater, and there was no way Levi was going back down to look for him. Suddenly, Eren's head popped out, his hair sticking to his face.
"You shitty brat, I-"
Before Levi could finish, Eren sprayed water that he had in his mouth in Levi's face.
"Eren, I swear to God, as soon as we get out of this damn pool, I am going to kick your ass!" Levi seethed lividly.
"See, there you go! You're thinking about the future already! You've been reborn!" Eren laughed, swimming the backstroke.
Fuming, Levi swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out. However, as soon as he saw Eren swimming around like a fish, there was no way he could stop the smile etching onto his face.
This is going to be really difficult. Forgetting my past is one thing, but moving on with my life is another.
"Eren... how much did you hear when you approached me?" Levi asked.
Eren stopped swimming and stared at him. "I think you were talking about spending the rest of your life being lonely. No one deserves that. It's too cruel."
Levi sighed. Good, so he didn't hear me talk about my feelings for him.
"Are we done here?" Levi asked impatiently. "Because if you don't mind, I would like to go back to the dorm, dry myself off, and get a nice hot shower."
"Okay." Eren climbed out of the pool.
When the two walked back the dorm, they got strange looks from students still on campus. They quickly looked away when Levi shot them a death glare. Eren was too giddy to even notice the weird looks.
I'm glad Levi's in a slightly better mood. I hope the surprise will make him happier. Petra and I really worked hard.
"Get that dorky smile off you're face, brat." Levi snapped. "You're probably the reason why people are staring."
"Well, I have been told that I'm dripping with good looks." Eren joked, flipping his wet hair off of his face.
"Yeah, dripping like a wet dog."
"Levi!" Eren sulked. "Must you be the Grinch even on Christmas?"
"Why would I be happy on this day?" Levi asked. "As you know, this is one of the worst days of my entire life."
The two entered the Pearl Dorms and headed towards their room.
"True." Eren said as he took out the key. "But today's also the day you were born, which is one of the best days in my life... twelve years later."
Levi scoffed. "Don't mess with me, brat."
Eren opened the door, grinning cheekily. "Too late."
Levi gasped at what he saw. The entire room was filled with decorations. There were red and green balloons on the ceiling, candy cane pictures on the wall, and Santas and reindeer scattered everywhere. On Levi's desk was a small cake that had "Happy Birthday!" written in green and red icing. There were also a few presents there too. The thing that caught his attention the most was that his bed was no longer on his side of the room. Instead, it was on Eren's side... connected with his.
Levi slowly turned around to face Eren. "...you did all of this?"
Eren scratched the back of his head. "Petra helped, too. We didn't want this to be just another grievous Christmas and birthday for you. Mourning your friends is fine. There's nothing wrong with that. So... we decided that you deserve something cheery so you won't spend the entire day depressed. Happy thirty-first birthday, Levi."
Levi's knees felt weak, so he walked over to their connected beds and sat down. He didn't even care that the sheets were getting wet. Eren quickly got some towels from the bathroom and walked back over to the beds, sitting in the middle.
"I moved our beds together so you won't feel lonely anymore." Eren admitted sheepishly. "So whenever you reach out, you'll always know I'm here. I hope that's not too creepy." Eren handed Levi two towels.
"...thanks." Levi muttered, taking the towels.
"For the towels?" Eren tilted his head.
"For everything." Levi clarified.
Eren felt heat creep up his cheeks. "I-It's no problem, really."
The two dried off in silence. Levi kept glancing at Eren, not able to ignore the fact that Eren was not drying off his hair, causing the water droplets to soak the bed even more.
"Oh for God's sake." Levi scooted in front of Eren, grabbed a dry towel and rubbed it all over Eren's head. Eren made no move to push him away.
After a while, Levi's intense rubbing decreased to soft strokes, eventually moving to the back of his neck. Eren just stared at him, his sea green eyes pouring into Levi's grey ones. At one point, Levi froze when he felt Eren place his hands on his hips, but decided not to let it affect him. Instead, Levi moved his torso upward so he was towering over Eren. Eren's gaze just followed him upwards, his hands never leaving Levi's hips.
Suddenly, without any warning or provocation, Eren leaned up and pressed his lips against Levi's for a brief moment before pulling away. Levi's eyes widened, and he dropped the towel. Eren clearly wasn't thinking, since he just continued to gaze up at Levi, not bothering to explain himself.
Levi cupped the back of Eren's neck, his fingers meshing in his wet hair. He pulled Eren forward, closed his eyes, and returned the kiss more passionately. Eren kissed back, closing his eyes as well. Levi slid his tongue across Eren's bottom lip. He didn't protest, letting Levi in. As Levi explored Eren's hot cavern, Levi caressed his fingers through Eren's hair. Eren could taste the wine on Levi's tongue slightly, but it was a sweet taste.
When air became an issue, the two pulled away, panting lightly.
"Eren..." Levi suddenly felt sleepy.
Levi closed his eyes and his head hit the pillow. Still not thinking about what he just did, Eren covered Levi up with the blankets before getting under them himself.
"Levi..."
Whoa... so much drama in one chapter. And I have some bad news: there's more drama to come.
I know I made Grinsha a douchebag, but it's only for plot purposes. I do like him. :)
You're probably wondering when there will be a lemon. Patience, my friends! Trust me, you don't want them getting their freak on with this drama all in the air. But... after that, there will still be more drama. XD
If you've liked the story so far, add this to your favorites and alerts. And remember...
REVIEWS ARE LIKE PORN TO WRITERS, SO SATISFY OUR URGES!
I really appreciate feedback. See you in the next one!
PRK