Chapter 4: Buono Tomato

In which Lovino makes some pasta, Feliks becomes a model and everybody gets a kiss.

~o~

It hadn't been a day, not even twenty-four hours, and already the boys were sick and tired of their new guest. He had already broken all of their plates, did nothing but lay around the house and curse whenever they asked him to do a chore, he was rude, stubborn, and no fun at all. The only one who genuinely seemed to like Lovino was the little Feliciano, who had taken his 3 o'clock nap in the company of the older Italian.

"Everyone, I want to have a word with you!" Gilbert yelled when Lovino had accidently knocked over his beer (actually it was soda, but the kid liked to pretend it was beer). They stuck their heads together for a little meeting.

"I'm getting sick of having that girl around!" the albino hissed (yes, they still thought Lovino was a girl, despite his colourful vocabulary and the only girly thing about him being his dress).

"No way, having a girl around is wonderful!" Francis protested.

"I agree with Gilbert! She's caused nothing but trouble for us!" Alfred pouted.

"And she ruined my sunflowers!" Ivan added, unforgiving about that particular fact.

"Yes…she's invading my personal space," Kiku said, looking quite uncomfortable.

"But…I like her…" Feliciano whined.

"She's our guest! It would be mean to just send her out into the woods all by herself," Matthew said. Everybody looked at him in confusion, which he ignored. "I say we give her another chance!"

They were about to protest, when a strange sound caught their ears. It came from the kitchen. They all poked their head around the corner, only to find Lovino there. He was cooking pasta with tomato sauce, while humming his favourite "Delicious Tomato" song. They were mesmerized by his beautiful voice, and forgot all about their complaints. The fragrances that drifted from the pots and pans made their stomachs rumble with anticipation. Lovino noticed their presence and turned around with what could be interpreted as a smile.

"Dinner is ready!"

After dinner, they all happily agreed their guest could stay.

~o~

Feliks was skipping down the stairs. Now that Lovino was out of the way, it was time to reclaim his place as the number one most gorgeous guy of the kingdom. He had put on his nicest clothes, and felt stunning.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most fabulous of them all?" he asked, a confident grin on his face.

Elizabeta appeared, accompanied by an uneasy smile. "Oh sir, it's you!" she said nervously.

"Well duh, who else would it be?" Feliks replied impatiently. "Now hurry up, I'm dying for my daily dose of compliments! And make it extra flattering, since I didn't get any yesterday!" he ordered.

Elizabeta played with her hair before quietly mumbling something.

"What was that? You gotta like, speak up or I can't understand you!" the blond said, getting more irritated as time went by.

Elizabeta swallowed and decided to get this over with. "I'm sorry sir, but Lovino is still my favourite."

Feliks was frozen, a look of disgust on his face. His eyes narrowed dangerously. "You're lying."

"I can't lie, sir," Elizabeta simply replied.

"Then do you mind telling how a dead person can be more fab than me?" Feliks hissed.

"Because he's not dead."

Feliks felt his temperature rise. So his BFF had lied to him? How could he! They'd been best friends for like, ever! And now he had betrayed him! Feliks almost punched Elizabeta in the face, but he was not a very violent person, and punching a mirror wouldn't do him any good.

"Where is he?"

"He now lives in the forest with six—no, seven little children," Elizabeta replied.

Great. What was he to do now? At that moment, an idea began forming in his head.

"Get my magician," he commanded, calming down and smiling creepily.

~o~

"What the bloody hell did you call me here for?" Arthur asked, clearly annoyed at having been summoned.

"I'm like, your king, so I can summon you whenever I want!" Feliks replied. "I have a task for you!" he then continued.

"A task, you say?" Arthur asked in a monotone voice. Whenever Feliks had a task for him, it never meant anything good. Last time, he had ordered him to make the entire kingdom fly so he could punish a country they were at war with by squashing them. Luckily, his friend Toris had been able to talk him out of it.

"I want you to make a poisonous tomato for me!"

"…Don't you mean a poisonous apple?" Arthur asked, sure he'd misheard.

"Nope, a tomato. In this case, a tomato would be like, much more effective."

The magician nodded, not sure what he meant by that. Who was the tomato for? Nevertheless, he did as he was told.

"Here you go, sir. Any other requests?"

"Yes, I want you to transform me so that nobody would be able to recognize me," Feliks said, flipping his hair.

Arthur nodded, he knew just the right spell for that. "Then I shall turn you into a witch—"

"DEAR GOD NO!" Feliks shouted, horrified.

"Bloody hell!" the Brit said with a shaky voice. The outburst had nearly given him a heart attack!

"There is no way you're going to turn me into a disgusting old lady! No, I mean something like a model or a famous celebrity!"

Arthur sighed. Of course, what was he thinking? Feliks would never let himself be turned into such an ugly creature.

"One model coming up sir."

~o~

It was morning at the house of the seven little boys and their guest. After a peaceful night (not so peaceful for Francis, who had tried to kiss Lovino and had woken up with a black eye as a result), the children had to leave for another day of work.

"I'll make pasta when you get home," Lovino said unwillingly.

He loved cooking, but he was bad at showing affection towards others. The boys didn't mind though. Except…

"What are you staring at?" Lovino asked, when he'd noticed the kids weren't preparing to leave.

"Aren't you gonna kiss us goodbye?" Alfred suddenly asked.

"Yeah!" they all said.

Lovino blushed a bit and was about to say no, but then he felt a tugging at his skirt. Little Feliciano looked up with hopeful eyes. It was the first time Lovino had seen him with eyes wide open. They were light brown, like a mix of honey and amber. The Italian just couldn't refuse such beauties.

"Sure," he simply said, lowering himself to kiss the boy on the top of his head.

Immediately, the others lined up to receive their share of Lovino's affection. One by one, he gave them a small kiss. Francis almost tried to kiss him on the lips again, but Lovino simply picked him up and threw him out the door.

"Now it's ze Awesome Me's turn!" Gilbert laughed. As Lovino gave him his kiss, he went quiet and his cheeks turned a nice shade of pink.

"Ha, not so loud now huh, you little brat?" the brunette teased him.

Gilbert shot and angry glare at the Italian, but quietly walked away.

Kiku reacted in a similar way, except with less anger and more blushing, and Matthew's turn somehow never came. Afterwards, they all happily went to work, while Lovino stayed at home.

"Well…what the hell do I do now?" he said to himself.