Note: Well, it seems I'm becoming a bit lax with my updates - sorry about that. Uni's been a bit hectic and I'm trying to get my last assignment done so it's taken me a while to get this chapter finished. Anyways, it's done now and that's all that really matters. So, read, enjoy and review - all that usual stuff that us writers like you to do! I promise I'll try to be a little quicker with the next one if at all possible.
Love always
Shadow of a Black Rose xxx
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After hours of scrubbing and cleaning and polishing Jenny was beginning to grow weary of fulfilling her duties as maid of the house. It had been a while since she had last spent a full day in her role as a maid and she wasn't used to the monotony of it. Ever since she had started learning to fight she and Vastra had been spending more and more time training and, of course, that ridiculously tight fitting catsuit that the mistress of the house had insisted on her wearing was making it more and more difficult for Jenny to go back to work once the training sessions were over. More often than not the two would end up kissing and somehow one thing led to another and... well, they never seemed to make it to the bedroom before they ended up fucking like rabbits. Jenny had tried to tell Vastra off for it (the house was becoming dirtier and dirtier and the girl wasn't at all happy about it) but every time the Silurian would just bat her eyelids over those pretty eyes and kiss Jenny softly and the girl would melt into her arms. She just couldn't say no, and honestly she didn't want to.
However, training had been put on hold for the past week and Jenny was growing tired of her dull job. On several occasions she had considered taking Vastra up on her offer to hire a new maid in her place but she knew it would never work out. She was too particular about how she liked the house to be cleaned, and besides, what would she do with her time if she had no job and they weren't training? Jenny wasn't entirely sure she understood why Vastra no longer seemed to have time to train with her. She knew that the woman had been getting a lot more work from Scotland Yard but she didn't seem to be struggling to keep up with it. Some nights she would return home having solved three cases at once, so why was she having to spend so much more time in her study during the days if the cases she was handling were so simple that they could be completed in such short periods of time? The maid considered these thoughts as she watered the plants in the greenhouse and tried not to doze off standing up from sheer boredom.
"Jenny, I'm going out." Vastra's voice echoed through the halls to the girl in the greenhouse but before she had even had a chance to answer the front door had swung shut and she had found herself alone in the big empty house.
Jenny couldn't suppress the frown that etched itself on her face after her mistress' departure. Vastra had been acting very oddly as of late. The past week she had been distancing herself from Jenny and the girl simply could not understand why. It had started with the woman's insistence that they could not train for a week or so, then she had stopped popping in and out of rooms to check on Jenny throughout the day. Vastra never seemed to hang around long after dinner and in the evenings before she went out to work she had stopped sitting with Jenny. Now she was leaving the house during the day as well?
A part of the maid couldn't help but wonder if her love had found someone else, another girl much prettier and more interesting than her. It seemed as though Vastra was gradually attempting to push her out of her life and it hurt Jenny to consider that perhaps her darling lizard had fallen out of love with her. What would happen next? Would she stop sleeping with her? They hadn't made love all week and Vastra had been keeping her distance in their bed, curling up on the far side and keeping her back turned to Jenny at all times. Every time Jenny would reach out her arm towards the woman Vastra would stiffen and hiss softly. At first Jenny had thought she had done something wrong, then she had wondered if Vastra was just in a bad mood, but as the week went on the fears of losing the one she loved had etched themselves deeply in Jenny's mind and it had reached the point where she could no longer shift them no matter how hard she tried.
Vastra leaving the house that day had been the last thing Jenny could take. She threw the empty watering can down in the corner where it lived, made her way up to the second floor and headed towards the door of the lizard woman's study. Stopping for a moment outside the door she took a deep breath and tried to find a way to talk herself out of what she was about to do. Jenny knew Vastra didn't like her entering the study when she wasn't there. The Silurian was even more particular about how she liked rooms to be organised than the maid was herself, at least that's the reason she gave Jenny to explain her reluctance to allow the girl entry in her absence. She hoped Vastra was telling the truth. She hoped that she wouldn't find anything and that her fears of Vastra's unfaithfulness would be proved needless. But she couldn't be satisfied until she knew the truth. Slowly Jenny lifted her hand and felt a chill run through her as her warm skin connected with the ice cold metal of the doorknob. She turned it and the door sprung free from its frame, swinging open to reveal the inside of Vastra's sanctuary.
As she entered the room Jenny felt sick with fear. She didn't know what she would find in there but she was beginning to wonder if she really wanted to know. Still she continued to step into the darkness of the room step by step until the door swung shut behind her. The air in the room was musty and the curtains hadn't been drawn back. It was ridiculously warm and Jenny, despite knowing that Vastra enjoyed the warmth, couldn't understand how the woman could bear it in here for such long periods of time. The girl wanted nothing more than to open the window and relieve the restricted, stuffy feeling of the room, but she didn't want her mistress to know she had been in there without permission and so, resisting her urges, she lit a candle and held it up so she could look around. It took a few moments for Jenny's eyes to adapt to the light but once they did she noticed that the room looked exactly as it had the last time she had entered it. She didn't know what she had expected to find. Somewhere deep in her mind Jenny had thought that maybe there would be another woman hidden away up there, or perhaps she had thought there would be an obvious feel to the room that proved Vastra no longer wanted her there. There was nothing of the sort.
Hopelessly, Jenny searched the bookcase before moving over to Vastra's desk. The papers that were usually strewn over its surface as she worked were all in neat piles lined up across the top edge and the only thing in front of Vastra's seat was a small diary. There were dates here and there that were circled in red ink but there was no description of what that meant. Jenny tried to find some consistency or correlation between the dates but there didn't seem to be any. The only similarity that the maid could find was that wherever a date was circled all of Vastra's cases seemed to have been put on hold. She couldn't help but feel that the circled dates might have something to do with what had been making Vastra act so oddly. The date at the start of the week they were currently in was circled in red and all of her cases had been put aside. But Vastra had told the girl she had been working. Had she lied? And, if so, where had she been going at night? The last date circled before that week was long before Jenny had moved to live on Paternoster Row. In that moment a horrible thought occurred to the girl. What if Vastra hadn't found another woman? What if she had been with someone else all along? It was possible that the lizard woman could have been in a relationship with someone who was not always in the country. Jenny had heard of the richer women of society, how they travelled a lot and often didn't know when they would return to their home town as each journey they took was on a whim. What if Vastra was in a long term relationship with a woman like that? What if Jenny herself was the 'other woman' and Vastra had been avoiding her to reduce the risks of her partner finding out that she was unfaithful?
"J...Jenny?" The girl spun fast on her heel to find Vastra stood in the open doorway, staring at her as she leant over the woman's diary. Jenny hadn't heard her open the door. She hadn't realised Vastra had even come home. How long must she have been in there if Vastra had been able to do whatever it was she had gone out to do and return in the time it had taken her to find anything that even remotely gave her a clue as to what was going on with the Silurian?
Jenny was frozen to the spot. She had no clue what to say or do. Vastra had an odd look on her face. She didn't seem angry; instead her eyes were flicking nervously around the room, as though she were trying to look anywhere but at her maid, and her scales seemed to have flushed a dark green. Jenny noticed how the woman's hands fidgeted nervously with each other in front of her skirts. They seemed to do that whenever the two women found themselves face to face recently. The girl wondered if it was a nervous tick. If Vastra's guilt about whatever she was hiding from Jenny was being pushed into those little hand movements. Vastra seemed to snap out of her trance like state as Jenny's eye line dropped and, unable to bear the awkward silence between them any longer, she turned to leave again.
"Wait..." Jenny wasn't sure what she was going to say next but she knew she didn't want Vastra to go. She ran out of the room after her mistress and found the Silurian stood at the top of the stairs with her hands clutching at the wooden handrail. Slowly Jenny walked over to stand close to her mistress and she slid her hand over one of the other woman's. A low growl reverberated in the back of Vastra's throat and Jenny considered withdrawing her grip, but she didn't. "What's goin' on wi' you?" The girl's voice was just audible and it shook a little as she asked the question. Her accent was broader than usual. Jenny was afraid of what answer she might receive. Vastra wasn't looking at her and she seemed to be thinking hard about something. What if Jenny had given up her family and her life for a woman who no longer loved her? "Please ma'am, this is drivin' me mad. You' been keepin' away from me all week. Whatever it is I'd rather you jus' tell me..." she felt tears welling in her eyes and she allowed her hand to slip away from the other woman's, "if you don' love me anymore, I'd rather you jus' tell me."
At her words Vastra's head snapped around to stare at her. Green lips trembled and the look of conflict on her face evaporated into pure lust. Before Jenny knew what was happening the woman had pressed her hard against the hand railing and was kissing her roughly, scaled hands pulling relentlessly at the maid's dark work dress. Jenny whimpered slightly at the sudden rough and passionate onslaught of her love's affections and Vastra forced herself away from the girl, retreating to the other side of the stairs.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," she hissed as she slid down to crouch on the floor and she dropped her gaze to her lap, "I did not mean to hurt you. You must stay away from me Jenny, just for now. I can't be trusted not to hurt you."
"Wh...what?" Jenny looked confused. She took a step towards Vastra but the woman shuffled away from her. Blue eyes flicked up momentarily, just long enough for Jenny to see the fear and pain in them, before Vastra's gaze dropped back into her lap.
"Please Jenny, I do not want to hurt you."
"But why would you 'urt me?" Jenny still didn't understand. Did Vastra still love her? That kiss had certainly felt as though she did, but why had the woman been so rough? She had only ever held Jenny as though she were china and might break at any minute before. Why was she now suddenly so rough and forceful?
"I cannot help myself. My love, I will explain everything but not now. Another time, I promise." And with that Vastra lifted herself from the floor and went back to her study, locking herself in.
Jenny stared at the locked door of the study for a long time after Vastra had left. What on earth had she been talking about? The Silurian hadn't expressed worries about hurting her since the first time they had made love, why was she all of a sudden so afraid of harming her again? It worried Jenny how distracted and agitated her mistress had seemed. She'd never seen Vastra lose her composure like that, it was a frightening thing to witness. She wanted to knock on the door, to check that Vastra was okay, but she knew better than to disturb the woman's peace if she was in such a state. Eventually Jenny went back to her work but she didn't see Vastra again for the rest of the day. The Silurian didn't come down to dinner and even as night fell she didn't return to the couple's bedroom. Jenny was forced to sleep alone.
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Vastra was in the kitchen when Jenny went down to begin preparing breakfast the next morning. As the maid entered the room she found the mistress of the house leaning against the wooden table in the centre of the room waiting for her and on Jenny's arrival Vastra strode over to her darling girl and pulled her close to her, holding her firmly yet gently and pressing a loving kiss to her lips. Once the kiss was broken (very reluctantly on Vastra's part) Jenny looked up at her love in surprise. For a moment she wondered if all of those things from the evening before had actually happened or if it had actually all been a dream but the apologetic look in the Silurian's eyes confirmed her certainty that she hadn't quite reached the point of inventing conflict between the two of them just yet.
"I cannot apologise enough to you my love." Vastra refused to release her grip on the girl in her arms as he spoke, still holding Jenny gently but firmly to herself and looking down into the girl's face.
"You don't 'ave to apologise to me at all ma'am" the girl replied. She was just happy to be back in her beautiful lizard's arms once more. That week had been agony for Jenny as Vastra had pushed her away and all she had wanted was to have things back as they had been before. "I just want to know you're okay. Why 'ave you been actin' so strange all this week?" The small smile that had graced Vastra's face faltered slightly but she tried not to show it. She felt a slight blush rising in her cheeks and she sighed as she looked down at Jenny.
"I do have to apologise Jenny. I have been terrible to you this week and I could not bear to stay in a room with you for long enough to explain why. I am so sorry for shutting you out and pushing you away when you tried to show me your concern my love. Please, believe me when I tell you I never intended to hurt you in doing so. On the contrary, I was protecting you." Jenny frowned lightly at her mistress. She still didn't understand how Vastra keeping her distance was a way of protecting her. Vastra sensed her confusion and nodded her head slowly. "I know this must be very difficult for you to understand my dear. Allow me to explain. You are aware of how for a week every month you bleed and that your emotions become erratic..." Jenny nodded, a look of disgust on her face.
"Too bloody right I'm aware. It's a bleedin' curse that. Bloody painful and makes you feel awful for a full week." Vastra chuckled slightly at Jenny's reaction but didn't let it distract her from the point she was attempting to make.
"Well, the females of my species suffer a similar curse, as you so eloquently put it. We do not bleed as you do and it is not as frequent or as regular as your own, however it is far more dangerous for our mate." Jenny automatically blushed at Vastra's choice of wording. It was rare that the Silurian would use such animalistic terms when referring to their relationship, preferring to call Jenny her 'darling human girl' or her 'loving partner', but when she did refer to her as her mate Jenny couldn't suppress the feelings that it was something very improper. The term connected far too closely to their physical relationship for Jenny's liking and it always made her feel very risqué when Vastra used the word. The lizard woman tried to ignore the girl's change in colour. She found it sweet that Jenny's prim and proper little Victorian mind was so opposed to the acknowledgement of the natural urge to mate but she could not let her adorable little human girl distract her from the task at hand. "For a week or so every so often our desire to mate becomes more than unmanageable. We lose control of our inhibitions and quite frankly we would make love continuously for the entire week given half the chance." Jenny's blush deepened and a small smirk graced Vastra's lips which only made the matter worse. "For a normal Silurian couple it would not be a problem, we are perfectly capable of mating like animals during those times, but I know how rough I can get when my inhibitions are gone and it would not have been safe for me to be close to you in the past week my Jenny. You saw yesterday just how rough I can be and that was only a kiss. I have been avoiding you out of fear that I may harm you... or worse."
"Oh you daft ol' lizard you" Jenny lifted a hand to cup Vastra's cheek gently and she leaned up to kiss the woman. "Why didn't you just write me a note to explain, hm? We could 'ave found a way around it. I dunno, we could 'ave tied your 'ands to the 'eadboard or somethin'." Vastra raised a scaled eyebrow at the suggestion and Jenny slapped her arm playfully. "I don't mean like that, honestly you 'ave such a filthy mind." The Silurian chuckled and shook her head.
"Well what can I say. It is hard not to think in sexual terms with such a beautiful woman in such close proximity." Jenny rolled her eyes but she knew Vastra meant it in the most loving of ways. She had learned that for a Silurian physical expression was how the truest of love was shown. It was still strange to her when she considered how sentimental humans were in comparison but she had learned to understand Vastra's meaning when she made such seemingly inappropriate remarks and she knew she only meant well by it.
"If somethin' like this ever comes up again, just tell me next time, okay?" There was sadness in Jenny's eyes and as much as Vastra didn't want to see it she couldn't help but notice. "I was thinkin' all sorts..."
"You thought I had begun to stop loving you..." Jenny nodded and Vastra wished that she had explained it all long before now when Jenny had first had to explain her monthly cycle. It had taken an hour or two for the Silurian to understand and even then she had made a sort of connection with her own predicament, but for some reason she hadn't thought to explain it to Jenny at the time.
"I thought maybe there was someone else..." The girl was so ashamed to admit it but she wanted Vastra to know the truth. She could see the pain in the woman's eyes but she knew Vastra understood. She always did.
"There will never be anyone else my love. I assure you, there has never been anyone I have loved as greatly as I love you, and there never will be." She kissed Jenny lightly and revelled in the feeling of having the girl so close once more. She had missed her darling little human more than she could possibly say. Jenny snuggled into Vastra's neck and for what seemed like an eternity the two stood in the kitchen just holding each other and enjoying the closeness that they had been deprived of for the past week.
"Does this mean we can go back to trainin' later today?" Jenny murmured. She had missed the excitement of training with her mistress almost as much as she had missed being intimate with her. Vastra chuckled and pulled away from the girl just enough so that she could look down at her with a grin etched on her features.
"Better. I think you're ready to join me on one of my night time cases."