Chapter Eight: Prayers

Addy isn't surprised when they reach the hotel that things are handled quickly and efficiently. Her belongings are already in the back of the SUV and Sam carries them into the hotel room for her. She follows him in while Jael and Gadreel transfer Sam's belongings to the black sedan. As soon as she's through the door, Sam shuts and locks it.

"Here," he hands her a cell phone. "You call me if you need anything. I mean that, anything."

He's sincere and worried so she takes the phone and puts in her pocket. "Okay."

"If you're ever in a situation where you can't give me details but you need help, just say 'Poughkeepsie.' There's a GPS tracker on the phone that I can activate from mine and I'll find you."

"Gadreel isn't going to hurt me."

He clenches his jaw but releases it quickly. "I get that. I know."

"Am I really in that much danger from other angels?"

"Possibly. I don't really know. There's many factions and they all want different things." He pauses and his protectiveness gives way to curiosity. "Do you know how you killed Malachi?"

Addy sits down on the bed. "I don't really know. Whenever I pass out, I see an angel. He tells me some things about what I am and what I can do. Malachi was choking me and the angel showed up. He said he was able to use me as an angelic conduit and had me put my hand on Malachi's head. I remember him lighting up from inside with a white light and then he just dropped to the floor." She shivers at the feeling of the cold that had crept into her bones when that had occurred. "I don't know exactly what it was that happened."

Sam sat down on the second bed across from her. "Did this angel tell you his name?"

"Gabriel. He said he was Gabriel. He's about my height, light brown hair, smart ass."

Sam laughs. "Yeah, that sounds about right. You should be able to trust him."

"So you think it's him?"

Sam nods. "Only an archangel would be able to take out Malachi that way. And since there's just two archangels who are dead and I think it narrows it down as to which one will help. Gabriel can be shifty so listen to his wording very carefully."

"Will do."

Addy gets up and opens her mother's hunting bag, pulling out the journal. She's not sure if she should even bring this up but she's curious. Sam may not take well to finding out he has a half sibling but she won't know unless she tells him. So when she sits down again, she tells him of her Aunt Jenn, the mysterious bag that was left to her and how Gadreel explained to her what a hunter was and the use for some of the weapons she had. Lastly, she pulls out the birth certificate and hands it to him.

Sam takes it, unfolds and reads it with a satisfied nod. "We, uh, we actually found out about this before we left Denver. The guy who runs the smoke shop on East Avenue had hunter signs in the window and he knew the story. We didn't have proof, just rumor."

She takes the birth certificate back and puts it back in her journal. "Is that why you came to help me? Because I'm related to you?"

"No, I would have come regardless whether you were related to us or not. We were afraid that Gadreel was going to kill you like he was told to do. But the car being abandoned with everything still in it threw us for a curve."

"Yeah, well, not dead. Just tired and confused."

Sam smiles. "And channeling archangels and smiting angels."

Addy returns the smile. "You're taking having a half-sister very well."

His good nature fades. "Well, we have another half-sibling out there, a brother. Adam Milligan. We didn't exactly look after him like we should have."

"What happened?"

He looks like he's about to tell her but stops. "It's a long story. One that I can tell you later over the phone or skype."

"Skype?"

"We brought your laptop with us. It's in your bag."

"Thank you." The sudden urge to sleep overtakes Addy and she forces back a yawn. She had thought she lost family only to find she had unknown relatives. She wanted to get to know them, to have a brother again brought more comfort than anything else that had happened in the last two and half weeks. But Sam's leaving and she's forced to sort things out herself.

Sam laughs and stands up. "Alright, bedtime. You get some sleep but I want a phone call or a text everyday from you for I'll come looking for you."

"I can do that."

"And the help word?"

"Poughkeepsie."

"Good."

She stands up and walks with him to the door. "Thank you, for everything."

He gives her a brief smile before unlocking the door and heading out. Addy waves at Jael and Sam as they take the black sedan and drive off into the night. Gadreel emerges from the shadows when the taillights disappear down the road.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She turns to look at him and sees his face and clothes are still bloody. "You look terrible."

He steps in the room and Addy locks the door. "I will ward the room and then change."

Even though Addy wants nothing more than to collapse on the bed and sleep for the next three days, she can't stop staring at the blood that covers the majority of Gadreel's face. He willingly laid down his weapon and walked into a torture chamber in hopes that it would ensure her safety. She goes into the bathroom and fills the sink with warm water and some soap. It's not much but it's the least she can do for him.

"You should sleep," he says coming into the bathroom. "I can do this myself."

Addy stubbornly shakes her head. "Sit."

He does as he's told and Addy begins the task of washing way the layers of blood.

Gadreel knows what is to feel so completely helpless in a situation that the first chance you have to focus on someone else, you take it. He had spent seven hundred years caring for Abner so he could escape his own personal hell. Even though he could have done the task in a matter of minutes, he subjects himself to Addison's cleaning process. The scent of the soap stings his nose and the cheap washcloth is too rough but he finds comfort in watching her shoulders lose tension and her hands steady as the task progresses. She empties the sink and tries to clean the blood off the washcloth but gives up after a few minutes.

"I am so sorry."

He's confused about what exactly she has to apologize for. "I don't understand."

"If it wasn't for me-"

"They still would have found me and they would have killed me."

She's pale, dark rings under her eyes that are starting to fill with tears. "Why do they hate you so much?"

It is a question he had asked himself since the Garden. "Angels are creatures of extremes. Some are ruled by compassion, such as Jael. Others are driven by a sense of justice and duty like Castiel. Forgiveness and mercy are difficult behaviors for angels to grasp. It was our Father's place to extend those traits."

"And what drives you?"

He smiles slightly. "The need to protect precious and important humans."

Addison wipes away the tears that have started to fall but others quickly gather behind them. "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to put you in danger. I don't want to be important. I don't want…"

He doesn't know what to do with such a distressed human. It was easier to know how to comfort and heal a fellow brother, to be able to accomplish his goal in piecing Abner back together. Addison is different. The pieces are similar but the putting them back together is foreign to him. He doesn't know how fix her.

But his vessel, a compassionate man, does have experience with dealing with distraught people. Gadreel pulls on the memories of those instances and ends up hugging her. It must have been the correct choice because Addison grabs a hold of him with a fierceness as she continues to cry. They stay like that until her tears subside only because she has fallen asleep standing up and braced against him. He picks her up and carries her to the bed. He covers her with a blanket before taking up his protective, watchful position from the other bed.

This he knows how to do: sit calmly but be aware of everything. He can hear what is going on in the other occupied hotel rooms, the animals that are rooting through the trash in the dumpsters out back and the intermittent car that drives past on the highway. He pays attention to more than noises though and monitors any disturbances that would signal angels or demons or any other creature that might bring harm to Addison.

Everything is quiet though. Everything is calm. And Addison sleeps for almost a full twenty four hours. It's not until the following morning that she begins to stir. He keeps his post as she completely wakes up and stumbles into the bathroom. Only when he hears the shower turn on does he get up and find a shirt in the backpack she gave to him.

She steps out of the bathroom a half hour later, showered, dressed and her long, dark blonde hair braided. She packs up her things but there is tension back in her movements and in the lines around her mouth. It takes her a few times to finally speak whatever it is on her mind.

"Can you hear when people pray?"

"Of course. Angels are why prayers are answered."

She frowns slightly. "What does it sound like?"

"Depends on the prayer. Sometimes it sounds like they are shouting in your ear. Sometimes it is more a whisper. What is it that you are hearing?"

"It's just like a repetitive string of words that I can't shut off. 'Please, let me do this. Please let me go.'"

There was so much they didn't know about her being the anchor, so many things she had the potential to do. Hearing prayers is a basic angel trait so if she were to have any, this would be the most logical one for her to have. "Do you know where it is coming from?"

"How do I figure that out?"

It comes so natural to him he has to stop and think of how to explain the instinct. "Close your eyes and concentrate on the words. Tell me the images that you see in your mind."

She closes her eyes and her forehead furrows. "It's the top of a building in a city. It's not a big city. Fairly flat land, really large hills in the distance."

"Focus on the building."

"It's...a medical type building. A hospital. St. Luke's."

"Good. Now, think about the city."

She grits her teeth. "B...Boise. Boise, Idaho. That's not too far from here, is it?"

He follows her details to confirm their accuracy even though the prayer seems to be directed at her specifically. Besides, his listening in to "angel radio" as Dean had called it, could alert other angels in the area to his location. It could be a trap. It could be another angel setting them up to kill them both. But Addison is looking focused and determined. She needs a distraction now, something else to focus on other than the situation she finds herself. She had repeated that she didn't want certain things last night but answering a prayer, this he can tell she does want. He picks up their bags and heads for the door.

"We will go to St. Luke's in Boise." If it is a trap, then he will have to fight his way out of it. Jael coming to his aid was a fortunate occurrence that he was certain would not happen again. He will make sure that Addison is armed with as many things as he can give her before they step into the hospital.

He stands on the edge of the hospital rooftop, the wind whipping at the thin hospital gown. He's been standing there for hours and he wonders why no one has come to get him or even cared that he's gone missing. He wonders why he even cares. He fought every step of the way but he's so drained, so exhausted from the fight, that he can't take that next step that will end it all for him.

And dear, sweet God (if there is one) does he want it to end.

It felt as if eons had passed in that cage. The violence, the torture, the boredom. It was enough to drive a man insane and according to his medical chart, it had. He had been found along the side of a road almost a month ago, caked in dirt and screaming. He won't let anyone touch him, he can't. His skin feels blistered and shredded from hellfire. His soul partial twists inside of him and he feels like if he can tear himself in two he will find relief. But he's not strong enough to do that. So a plunging fall off the hospital roof will have to do. Except he can't get his feet to take that last step. He's teetering on the edge and just won't tip over and enjoy the free fall to peace.

So Adam Milligan does the only thing he can do at this point and he prays to the angel inside of him and any others who will listen.

"Please, let me do this. Please let me go."