You Never Gave Me a Reason

Disclaimer: I don't own Revenge or its characters.

Epilogue) Waking Up and Wondering What Went Right

Normally, Conrad would be annoyed to wake up to the sound of British television. He was never such a fan of strong accents reading off flowery scripts of a post-war dramatization; but here and now, when he woke up at odd hours, in darkness or in light, his only comfort was to hear the faint English voices on the TV - when he heard them, he knew that Victoria was sitting at his side, and he felt safe.

Conrad had found that the pale walls of a hospital room didn't provide a man with the nicest of dreams; especially not one who had faced the morbid thought of death only days ago. At first panicking at his unfamiliar surroundings, his sole consolation upon waking from troubling nightmares, was to hear the TV and know that his wife was still awake in the bedside chair. Once he knew that he wasn't alone, he felt his heart settle down, and he tried not to look her way, or even think too much about her, lest it start speeding up again.

Of course, he could rarely keep himself from thinking about her - in fact, he wasn't sure she had left his thoughts since his first awakening. There were times when these thoughts would cause his heart to skip a beat, after which he would attempt to quiet them and surrender to sleep; but then, there were other times when she would be his only hope for relaxation. When he couldn't sleep, he'd recall the way she had looked at him in what they had thought to be his last moments; the softness of her voice as she whispered words he could only remember in dreams; her gentle touch through his hair and across his forehead; and he found peace enough to send him off into a light sleep.

After days of resting, haziness and heavy pain medication, he had barely held a decent conversation with Victoria - all his invalid self could manage was to hold her hand whenever she built up the courage to reach out, and send a weak smile her way every time she looked up from her book. There had been, of course, his first moment alone with her since the shooting - soon after his first waking when, if drugs hadn't affected his memory, she had apologized for something he couldn't understand and kissed him so quickly he had only realized it once it had ended. After that, and perhaps another occurrence he had yet to decide as reality rather than a dream, she had held his hand, delivered messages from the children, and otherwise ordered him to rest. He wouldn't have listened in any other situation, but he was both too exhausted to argue and somewhat pleasantly surprised at her concern for his wellbeing.

Thereafter, he had managed to rest, cooperate with the doctor, and hold back all his waiting conversation. Tonight, however, was too dark and restless a night to be so easily appeased. He had lain there for seemingly hours, staring at the wall, listening to the television - all the while knowing that Victoria was awake behind him. The temptation was too much to bear, so he rolled over to look at her.

Conrad had expected to find dark hair flowing over one shoulder, red lips pursed, deep eyes staring holes into the book in her hands – the way he always pictured her. Instead, he found a damp-haired woman with an unmade face, pink lips relaxed, and deep eyes hidden behind lids, all fluttering eyelashes and a hint of a smile on her eyebrows. Her head was bowed as if in prayer, and her hands were slack on her book; he was astounded at how beautiful she was when she slept.

He did wonder what had finally granted her sleep after so long. During his son's visit, Daniel had informed Conrad that Victoria had hardly slept since the shooting, and not at all since he had woken from his medically-induced coma. Although he wasn't sure how absolute Daniel's words had been, nor how reliable his own memory was, he had personally never caught her with closed eyes - not until now, that is.

And though he inexplicably craved her company, he couldn't bring himself to wake her from this precious sleep. So he settled for a silent gaze, hoping for another opportunity in the morning.

Conrad was actually baffled that she had remained at his bedside restlessly for almost a week. In the past, she had shown a special amount of concern during crises of health - as if it took a disaster to bring out a nurturing side that she usually reserved for kids. Her spur-of-the-moment care upon his shooting had been the topic of much rumination on his part, but the fact that she had kept up the work for days, with little sleep in between, brought one repetitive memory to mind; one which he could not stifle for even a moment.

"I love you... too."

Her voice was clear as if she was saying it now; he could hear her lip tremble, fumble over the last word quietly. He saw her face melt into a small smile, her eyes shining with sincerity before she averted them from his bashfully. Conrad had barely recognized the words then, and now, he was conflicted as to the reality of this happening. It seemed like something out of a dream, but the memory felt all too real, engaging every one of his senses. There was hardly any doubt left in his mind tonight, thinking of what she was taking out of herself simply to be with him when he needed her.

He was glad that she was asleep now, because he was sending a stupid smile her way. A year ago, she never would have been here beside him; she never would have said she loved him, even if pressed. Conrad hadn't realized until tonight just how far they'd come, and how very much he preferred where they were to where they used to be. He may not have secured her heart completely - not just yet, but this small taste of genuine love was enough to remind himself that he would steal her heart, no matter the cost.

But he left this thinking for the morning, and lay flat on the bed, though he was unable to completely erase the grin from his face. He simply wasn't used to this happiness; knowing that something was finally going right.

Okay, so I'm super sad that this is over! I think this is my favorite fanfiction I have ever written in 5-ish years of writing, and I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did! Even if you don't like to give reviews, I hope you'll at least leave one for this final chapter, just to let me know you read and liked the story! Thank you guys so much!

I'm in the middle of writing the sequel, most likely to be titled The Way I've Loved You after the line Conrad said in an episode. Since it won't be out for at least a week or two, if not more, I have a few other things to post. I'm going to post a poll on my page with a few fanfictions I could fix up and post, so check that out this week and vote for which one you'd most like to see during the gap. Again, look out for the sequel, and I hope you'll enjoy one of my other stories (if I ever manage to put one out there. It took me forever just to start posting this one!

Major thank-you's to:Leryn (my very first reviewer, my heart belongs to you!), RevengeADDICT (I adore your input and your stories so stay awesome please), Island Queen, Allie, HeroineGauddess, Linaluu (I love to say your username out loud haha), revengefan (I'm never called "brilliant" so I got really excited, thank you!), lgraven, xinfinityxinfinityx, I'm-Not-Your-Average-Monster (Funny name and I like the way you think!), wondergirl247 (Quit reading my crap and update Glassheart!), Mel, and every anonymous reviewer! You guys are the best and I hope you remain awesome!

Thank you all so much, and I hope you'll read some of my other stories if they ever see the light of day.

In loving memory of Conrad Grayson.