Spoilers: Menace, The Sentinel, Meridian
Jack leaned back against the couch, holding the cool glass of his beer bottle against his forehead. This had been a bad day. He'd learned a long time ago not to let words get to him.
You stupid, son of a bitch.
Daniel's words cut straight to the core.
All of his Intel pointed to the fact that Reece had been losing control of the Replicators, so he'd taken the shot to eliminate that threat. He was protecting his people, defending his world, as he had been trained to do. It was his nature.
Daniel hadn't seemed to mind when Reece was using the Replicators to defend herself. What made him so different, that an emotionally immature robot could warrant Daniel's respect and sympathy because she was worried about her own survival, while Jack was treated with scorn and disappointment because he was defending an entire planet? He had killed the robot because she was an immediate threat to Earth, that was all there was to it. His conscience was clear.
You stupid, son of a bitch.
Words weren't supposed to get to him. He had done the right thing. He had saved lives.
You son of a bitch! What the Hell do you think you're doing, boy?
He had saved David's life, too.
He leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes, his hand dropping down, resting the bottom of the beer bottle against his thigh. An image of a wolf came to his mind, though he wasn't sure why. A memory, an insight, it didn't matter. He was just too tired. He was tired of being misunderstood.
He felt a sense of impending loss. Would Daniel leave because of this? Had he finally crossed that boundary that always left him alone in the end, whether he was the one left behind or the one forced to leave?
He was tired of running.
He leapt to his feet decisively, set the nearly full beer bottle on the table, grabbed his jacket and went out the door to his truck. He couldn't do this anymore, he had to talk to him. He had to fix this before he lost everything again. There had been too many misunderstandings, too many accidents he couldn't fix, but his only mistake had been running away from those who cared about him. He'd been given a second chance and he was going to take advantage of it.
They had to talk. He would have to open up and explain himself, maybe even reveal a bit of emotion for a change. He was human, after all.
Several minutes later he waited awkwardly for the front door to open, hoping that he would be welcome, but deciding that even if he wasn't he wouldn't let that stop him.
"Jack?"
Jack grimaced in his attempt at a smile. "Hey, Daniel."
Daniel hesitated just a moment before opening the door wide for him. "Want a beer?"
Jack grabbed at the peace offering. "Sure." He closed the door behind him as he followed Daniel into the apartment.
They sat together in silence, looking anywhere but at each other. Finally, Jack coughed to clear his throat and to get Daniel's attention. "We're okay, right?"
Daniel's eyebrows shot up. "You're asking me?"
Jack shifted uncomfortably. "Look, I'm not a sensitive kind of guy. I learned early on how to deal with being who I am and how people respond to me."
"Who you are?" Daniel interrupted.
"Yeah. An inconvenience. The dumb one. A stupid, son of a bitch. My father, now he was a self-righteous bastard, wouldn't give me the time of day, barely tolerated my existence, and eventually he sent me packing in the middle of winter with no food, no money, and a black eye as a keepsake. And you know what I did that finally pushed him over the edge? I saved my brother's life. He may not have known it at the time, but that doesn't change the fact that David is alive now because of me, and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again. I may not be a genius, and I may not be the golden boy for humanity but I am damn good at protecting my people and I won't apologize for that. You said she was just trying to protect herself. I was just trying to protect this planet, so don't judge me by some arbitrary set of ideals."
Daniel stared at him, his expression blank, as Jack inwardly cringed at his impromptu speech. He hadn't meant to get into all that, he certainly hadn't meant to mention his father or accuse Daniel of anything.
He cleared his throat again, glancing around the room before settling his gaze on Daniel. "So, are we good?"
Daniel's eyebrows arched above his glasses then settled as he focused his gaze on the cup of coffee in his hands. "I'm not mad at you, Jack." He rolled his eyes at Jack's look of disbelief. "I was upset with what you did, but it wasn't entirely your fault. I'm just so sick of it all. We live in constant fear that the Goa'uld or the Replicators are going to come to Earth and wipe us out, so we're spending more and more time looking at the military aspects of every mission, and every discovery. There is so much more we could be doing, we could be making a real difference out there but we've got out hands tied because we're only looking for the militaristic gains. It's just…frustrating."
"Yeah. I know what you mean."
Daniel flinched slightly, leaning forward and cradling the cup in his hands. "For what it's worth…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you that. You were just doing your job."
Jack nodded, accepting the apology and taking a sip of his beer. "How's the arm?"
Daniel looked down at the cast on his arm, which had been fractured by Reece, flexing his fingers. "It'll be fine in a few days. Doesn't hurt anymore."
"That's good," Jack said lamely, unsure what else to talk about.
Daniel leaned back, watching Jack carefully, having consciously decided not to let Jack's military decisions get between their friendship. "So you saved your brother's life?"
"Oh for cryin' out loud," Jack muttered good-naturedly at the inquiry. "Pop left me to take care of him. He was non-responsive, I figured he needed to get to the hospital, so I tried to drive him there."
"And?"
"I was ten."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Oh. But you know what they say about young people."
Daniel smiled in recognition. "The very young do not always do what they are told."
Jack smiled, relaxing for the first time since the whole Reece incident. Things were going to be okay after all.
--
David had been evacuated from the SGC when the Replicators created by the robot Reece had taken over the base, and he was glad to have missed out on all the excitement. He'd heard stories over the next couple weeks about how Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson had finally neutralized the threat. There had been a difference of opinion, some harsh words said between them, and then they'd gone about their business.
He didn't give it much thought as he returned to his own work. He'd seen Daniel and the Colonel in the weeks that followed the Reece incident and they'd been as close as ever, so he assumed they'd worked out whatever had happened between them and moved past it.
His own relationship with the Colonel had continued to baffle him. Jack, as he had been given permission to call him, had started dropping by his lab to chat, fiddling around with various items on his desk so David had assumed the visits were to alleviate his boredom. They started talking about their lives in Minnesota, and Jack spoke fondly of his grandfather who had raised him in a cabin up north. Jack even casually offered him an invitation to go fishing sometime. David would go so far as to say they were now friends.
Every time he saw the Colonel he became more and more confused. There were moments when he would swear that Colonel Jack O'Neill had to be the same little boy he had known forty years ago, no matter what his logic told him. But then, thinking back on it, he wasn't sure he had ever truly believed his brother was just a figment of his imagination. Dad may have been convincing, but most of the evidence he only accepted because he never saw Jack again. If Jack had just run away he was sure his brother would have sent him a letter, called him, dropped by to say hi some time in the last forty years, but there had been nothing.
And there was the fact that Colonel O'Neill never brought it up. If he was really his brother, why wouldn't Jack just tell him?
There were times he allowed himself to believe Jack was his real brother, and after SG-1's last mission, to a planet with a planetary defensive shield called the Sentinel, he thought he may have an insight as to why Jack, if he was really related, would keep it a secret. On the planet designated P2A-018, Latona to the locals, Jack had been taken prisoner and tortured by the Jaffa serving the Goa'uld Svarog. When SG-1 returned to Earth nobody mentioned it. He had later asked Jack how he'd received the gash next to his eye, and Jack hadn't batted an eye as he said, "The Jaffa kind of battered me around a bit. No big deal."
No big deal.
Just like his little brother Jack didn't think it was a big deal for Dad to slap him around when he did something wrong.
David had never done a thing to stop it from happening, either.
He wanted to ask. He needed to ask. Every time he saw Jack since that mission the question was on the tip of his tongue, 'Are you my brother?' but he could never work up the courage to follow through. What if he wasn't? What if he was simply seeing something that wasn't there? What if Jack hadn't gotten in touch for all these years because he was mad at David for never standing up for him?
His thoughts were interrupted by the warning announcement of an incoming wormhole, and he guessed it was SG-1 returning from their visit to Kelowna.
An hour later he received word that Dr. Jackson had been exposed to a lethal dose of radiation. One look at Colonel O'Neill's face as they passed in the halls as Jack was headed to the infirmary to sit with Daniel and he knew.
That was his brother.
--
Six years ago
It had been a month since Jack had returned from his first mission through the Stargate. He'd left Daniel Jackson back on Abydos, with a beautiful wife and people that would finally accept him and love him. Jack had returned home to find that his wife Sara was gone, and he didn't blame her for leaving.
It was time to start over again. Or maybe, to go back to the beginning.
He looked up a name on the internet, made some calls, and a few days later he was sitting in the back of a half-full lecture hall while Dr. David Granseth gave a seminar on some engineering projects he had done in Africa and South America, improving water irrigation, building stoves out of local materials that burned more efficiently and safely, and other similar projects. It was a seminar for undergraduates so he knew David had chosen a topic that would be appealing and not too far over their heads.
As the lecture concluded and everyone around him began to stand and pack their bags he remained seated, trying to decide how he should handle this. Introducing yourself to your long-lost brother was awkward enough, but to do it on a college campus without any warning was just cruel. What could he say, anyway? He'd never been good at the whole talking thing.
So he left. It was all in the past, it was better to leave it alone. He had seen his brother and he was doing well, that was all that really mattered. Daniel was alive and well back on Abydos. Sara was moving on with her life, and she didn't need him there to remind her of what they had lost.
He was alone, but he didn't mind. There was always something to live for, he'd just have to wait and see where his journey led him.
Author's Note: Okay, it's probably going to be a couple days before I can post the next part, sorry about that but there's a lot to dig into. I'm not going to post it until I'm satisfied that it feels right, but your reviews have inspired me so far, so thanks to all of you who have and will review, I'm grateful for your feedback and support.
Bixata