Three chapters in one week. My, my. I guess this is what happens when I don't write for over a month-my brain explodes with ideas.
Whew. This took a while to write. It's fairly longer than any of the others and it's probably going to be the last one for awhile. I really gave this one my all, for maximum feels trip experience, as promised.
*distributes tissues and teddy bears*
And now, hang on for dear life. You're about to enter a vortex of sadness. The authoress recommends watching cute puppy videos (or whatever strikes your fancy) to handle any aftereffects you may experience.
My heart leapt into my throat as I tried to process the Halfling's words. If he was so adamant about Kili and I needing to see Thorin, it could mean only one thing. Breaking into a run, I barged into the healer's tent.
"Kili—where is Kili?" I demanded, suddenly out of breath.
"He's…" The healer pointed to a cot. I rushed over before he could finish his sentence. Kili was conscious, but weak.
"We have to go, right now! I just saw Bilbo, and he says Thorin…is…"
"Dead? he croaked hoarsely.
"Near to it," I concurred. "We must go, now. There may not be much time."
With my help, Kili managed to stand up from the cot. Draping his arm around me, we made our way out of the healer's tent towards where I had last seen Bilbo. There he still stood; he had been waiting for us.
"Where is Thorin?" I asked.
"In that tent." Bilbo pointed to the far end of the camp. "He's not been doing well. I think…I think he's just been holding on to see you." he explained, his voice hitching. At that, my eyes welled. He continued, "I've been with him most of the day."
"When did the battle end?" My mouth seemed to speak disconnected from my thoughts as I plied the poor hobbit with more and more questions.
"Two days ago, I think…though I can't rightly say. I've been told I was knocked unconscious at some point."
"Bifur is dead," I said plainly, still reeling from the shock of Bilbo's news. "Dori may well be too. If you see Bofur or Nori, or especially Ori, please don't tell them. Not yet."
He nodded tersely as we approached the tent where Thorin was. Drawing back the tent flap, Kili and I stumbled carefully in behind Bilbo.
"Thorin?" the Halfling asked warily, approaching our uncle's bedside. "I've brought your nephews to see you."
Thorin drew a great breath. "But Fili…is in Rivendell." he pronounced weakly. "He stayed…behind…with Kili."
"They followed us, Thorin. Kili looks relatively well, and Fili is with him. Don't you want to see them?"
"Of course… Bring them in."
Bilbo stepped back awkwardly from the cot and gestured that we should draw near. The pale, withered figure in the bed could not have been our strong uncle. Indeed he was barely recognizable beneath all the bandages. Once again my heart leapt into my throat and I found I could barely speak.
"Fili?" Thorin wheezed, looking around.
"I'm here, Uncle." I said, my voice breaking as I took his hand. "And so is Kili. He is well."
Kili crossed to the side of the bed and took Thorin's other hand. Out of respect, Bilbo left to allow us some privacy. "I'm as fit as ever," he assured, smiling halfheartedly.
"I know you told us not to follow you, but…" I began, but Thorin raised his hand to silence me.
"Forget…what I said," he panted uneasily. "I was rash….and foolish. You did…right…to stay…with your brother. I…would have done…the same…for Frerin." He tried to muster a smile. I was honored that he compared the bond between Kili and me to that of him and his beloved brother. We both knew well how much Frerin had meant to him. He had never truly healed from the pain of his loss. After a few haggard breaths, he continued.
"I have been…very…foolish, indeed. I…let the…gold sickness…consume me. I…have told…Mr. Baggins as…much. He has been…a wonderful…companion…and has…proved…his worth…ten times over. He says…that he may…record…our story so that…those…in the West…may know of the…great kingdom of Erebor."
"Uncle, you must not strain yourself." Kili said. "Rest."
Thorin made a motion with his head, back and forth. "No…you must…listen. Fili…Dain Ironfoot has agreed. The…line…of Durin…will be continued…by you. You will…succeed me…when I am gone. You…will get to see…the great halls of our fathers…restored. I trust…you will be…a great leader."
"No, Uncle!" I countered, tears rolling unchecked down my cheeks, disbelieving what he was telling me. "You are strong, you will recover. I'm sure of it!"
"No…not from this. I know…not from this. I won…the kingdom back…for you." he smiled, unseeing.
From the other side of the bed, Kili choked out a sob. "No," he shouted. "No!"
"And, Kili?" Thorin managed, with a note of slyness in his voice. "Try not to…get into any…more trouble…all right, lad?"
Kili smiled through his tears at that, and so did I. The hour grew late, and the strange healer—from the Iron Hills, I guessed—came to check on Thorin, and requested seats be brought for us. We spent the next few hours seated on rickety wooden stools, but that did not matter to us. All that mattered was that we had been reunited with the Company…with our family.
I awoke the next morning to the demented crowing of birds. The ravens, I realized,my mind still in the foggy haze of sleep. I was still holding Thorin's hand, which had grown oddly cold, a strange chill that was not from the weather. And that's when I knew. He was gone.
I was reminded suddenly of that gray dawn that seemed so long ago when I had woken up to find Kili in the same condition, and a sickened shiver came over me. But my brother was alive and well, still asleep on our uncle's other side, still holding his hand, yet unaware of what had happened. For a few moments, something in me didn't want to wake him. Let him dream of happier times.
I was now rightful King under the Mountain… the thought terrified me. Had Thorin told the others I would succeed him? Or was I to announce it? I found I suddenly could not swallow past the lump in my throat, yet something compelled me to move.
"Kili," I murmured, hoping I wouldn't startle him.
"Hm?" he hummed, raising his head slightly.
"Thorin…" I spoke now in a low whisper. "Thorin is gone."
He shook his head, not quite comprehending. "What do you mean he's…" he began, but then noticed the chill of Thorin's hand in his. "Oh, Mahal." he wailed. "Mahal! The ravens…they mean…"
"Shh, Kili! No one knows yet…no one but us."
Kili rose to his feet and gazed upon Thorin's lifeless form, too shocked to utter another word. Beneath the bandages I could see—though he bore the open-mouthed gape that characterized death—that his countenance appeared less troubled. He had found peace at last.
"You see," I said, suppressing my own tears for what seemed like the hundredth time since yesterday. "He was happy. He left us peacefully in his sleep. His journey to the halls of Aulë should be easy." Carefully I reached over and folded Thorin's stiffening hands across his chest and drew the sheet up over his face. Beside me, Kili, still in shock, scarcely dared move.
"F—fee…" he whimpered. "What are we going to do?"
"Well...Thorin named me his successor," I said, sniffing and wiping away a stray tear. There would be time for that later. "I think it's my duty to tell them…"
Kili nodded solemnly. "Let's go, then."
Holding my chin up, I left the tent and went in search of Balin, to tell him to gather the Company. As we walked, I noticed the sky was just turning to dawn, a pale pink light slowly turning to gold. The sun had set on one king…and risen on another.
I found the old dwarf with Oin, who had appeared at some point, and was now tending to Ori's swollen eye.
"Good morning, Fili. And Kili! Ori told me you'd arrived." he said cheerfully.
"Balin, may I…may we…" I corrected, glancing over at Kili, who'd not left my side. "Speak to you privately?"
Balin looked puzzled for a moment, but then nodded his assent. "You seem changed." He noted. "Long journey?"
"Well, yes, but…" I cleared my throat and blinked away the tears that were forever threatening to spill. "Is the Company all accounted for?"
"Bifur is dead, Gloin is in a bad way…and Dori…well, Ori tells us he was shot with an orc arrow." Balin gave a sidelong glance. "And Dwalin…is missing."
"I'm sorry," I offered, though it was little consolation. "I'm sure we'll find him. Dwalin is strong. I'm sure he's all right."
"Thank you," he smiled dejectedly. "Now, why do you want to know the whereabouts of the Company?"
With a sharp intake of breath, I told him, "Thorin is dead. He named me his successor. And then he…he… died in his sleep. Last night."
"Oh…the birds…dear me," Balin replied, the color draining from his face, unsure of what to say next. "Oh, lads. I'm so sorry." He drew Kili and me close and embraced us. "I wish you well." he said, drawing back and bowing to me.
"Please…don't do that." I said, suddenly shaken by his gesture. Never had any friend of Thorin's bowed to me before. He merely nodded solemnly and walked off.
"Fee," Kili held onto my shoulder for support. He looked as though his very breath had been knocked out of him. "What are we going to do?"
"We are going to take our rightful places as heirs of Durin," I said. "But nothing will change between us."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise." I assured him.
The remaining members of the company assembled amid the tents as per Balin's instructions. Several of them—Ori, Nori, Dori, Gloin, and Bombur—had had to be helped out of their tents and sat down due to their extensive injuries.
My task was one of the most difficult I'd ever had to face. Somehow I must maintain my composure long enough to tell them that our leader, the rightful King of Erebor, had died and I was taking his place. I could only hope that someday I would be as great as Thorin and his predecessors. But I was a mere eighty-two summers, still a child in most dwarves' view.
Kili stood behind me solemly as the crowd gathered. "You'll do well, brother. I know you'll be a great king." He muttered sadly behind me, doing everything in his power to mask his sorrow.
Here they were, all gathered to hear me speak. And yet I could not. It felt as though there were a great boulder in my throat preventing me from uttering a sound. I scarce dared to breathe for the pain. I fixed my gaze upon the bleak winter sky as the Pale sunlight shone through the clouds. It should not be like this, I though. There should be a terrible rainstorm, or a sky as red as the blood upon the battlefield. But it was like any other day, unremarkable, the sky a pale, milky grayish-white.
At long last, I cleared my throat and spoke.
"Last night…" I squeaked, then cleared my throat again and deepened my voice to match the authoritative tone Thorin had always had. "Last night, Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King under the Mountain, made the journey to the halls of our fathers. I pray that there he may be at peace…"
The Company gasped at that, turning to each other and muttering. The army from the Iron Hills had begun to congregate behind them, and I feared losing my nerve.
"Before departing, with the agreement of Dain Ironfoot, he named me his successor." I continued. "I hope that I may serve the people of Erebor well as their king, and I aspire to achieve the same greatness as the kings who came before me. I realize that while I think of Erebor as my rightful home, it is here that I have never dwelled. And so I have decided for the time being to remain under the counsel of Balin, son of Fundin—if, of course, he wishes to advise me in my ruling."
"Of course, laddie." Balin spoke up from the ever-gathering crowd.
"Be our circumstances as they may," I cried over the din of mutters and mumbles, fighting once more to control my voice, "We must not let this tragedy keep us from our course. We must all carry on. I knew Thorin well, and I know that he would not have wanted our grief to consume us. Though he lived a life of great difficulty, he was determined and selfless—and so too do I hope to be."
As I stepped away, I noticed that several of the Company had tears in their eyes, as did I. All I wanted now was to make a hasty retreat so I could let them spill forth.
Kili and I hurried back to the tent where Thorin had lay in his final hours. His body was already gone, taken away to be washed and clothed in finery befitting a king before burial. Kili could withstand the pain of our loss no longer, and, gripping me by the shoulders, he burst into tears.
"He's…he's gone, Fee. He's really gone." he gasped between sobs as he shook. His face reddened with every breath he drew, and I recognized that he was really still no more than a child, though for the most part he tried to put on a grand display of bravado.
"Sh, Kee." I hushed, patting his back as I fought back a howl of misery that threatened to escape my lips. No one, not even my own brother, must ever see me cry again. "I know. But we'll be all right. The others are still here. We're not alone." I drew the two stools we had been given together so that we could sit; Kili was trembling so. He sank into the seat without another thought, still gripping me tightly, and invoked the name of our Creator for what seemed like the thousandth time since our arrival.
"You…you're really king now. My brother." he stared blankly at the ground as a tear dripped from the end of his nose. I nodded and drew him close.
King…I still could not fathom it. So much responsibility had been thrust upon me in so short a time. I doubted I would ever be such a great leader as Thorin. Doubtless he never would have made such a show of grief. He never would have let anyone see any sort of weakness. He had chided me for doing so when Kili was injured, and I half-believed that he was looking down upon me from Aule's halls at this very moment, shaking his head in dismay and wishing he'd given the crown to Dain.
My reverie was cut short by the sound of movement outside. Balin had found us. Of course, it wasn't that difficult to figure out where we were. We'd spent our last moments with Thorin here, and Kili's noise could surely be heard all over the camp. By now he only uttered an occasional sniffle, but I could see he was still badly shaken. He quickly drew his sleeve across his eyes at the sight of the intruder.
"Mister Balin," he acknowledged, his voice hoarse.
"I thought I'd find you two here," Balin replied, devastation evident in his voice.
"I'm sorry. I must be a great disappointment as a leader." I said dismally, hanging my head. I dare not meet his eyes, for if I did I would surely lose what little self-control I had left.
"Nonsense, laddie. If you can deliver such words of encouragement as you did under such strain, I've no doubt you'll make a great king. Thorin would have been proud."
"Really?"
"Truly, lad." he smiled.
And it was then, and only then, that I finally allowed myself to weep.
Many of you guessed that this was going to happen. But it was kind of a necessary evil for the story to move forward.
Hopefully you're not too distraught to review... (nudge, nudge). I'm really anxious to know what you fine people think of this chapter.
Reviews= hugs for Fili and Kili