Here is the next chapter. We are finally going to see some Servant vs Servant fights.
Chapter 9: Your Saber Is In another Castle
(10:00am Wednesday, Fuyuki Forest)
Waver chowed down on some Japanese food in a clearing deep in the forest. It was a bright and wonderful day, sitting there with a picnic. The birds were chirping in the trees and the quiet gave Waver time to think things over and contemplate.
Like the fact this meal wasn't actually that good.
"Can't believe you nearly ran out of mana, Rider." He grumbled. "You'd think you'd have better track of something like that."
"Apologies, Sir." Rider's voice came from thin air. He was in spirit form to minimise the amount of mana needed to maintain his form. "I made a decision to use two MAC blasts and it was more taxing than I expected. It won't happen again."
"Yeah, well. I'm not blaming you for the blasts. Better safe than sorry right?" He gulped down a juice box before continuing. "But you could've used some of my mana too, you know."
"With all due respect, there was no sign we needed any mana from you." Cortana said. "It seemed like a threat to your life if we used your mana."
"You won't be able to protect me if you run out." Waver replied as he grabbed his sleeping bag. "At least by being on top of a ley-line we can recharge you faster. I'll sleep here all day if I have to."
"Thank you Sir." Rider merely said. Waver climbed into the bag before asking Rider what their plan would be.
"Though Viggato's attack was a large loss-of-life and a threat to the entire world, it allowed us to see some of the abilities of other servants. Archer, Caster and Berserker seemed the most dangerous, but there are weaknesses we can exploit."
"Like what?" Waver really wanted to know. Archer seemed to have a weapon for all scenarios, Caster used Reality Marbles like they were nothing, and Berserker had just eaten the monster.
"We've had previous experience fighting creatures like Berserker before. The key is to not let up until they are completely destroyed. Fire works best for that. Caster has powerful spells, but his armour is weak. We just have to get in close and not give him time to heal or counterattack. Archer would be most problematic. I'll have to get close, break his armour and hope my luck hold out."
Waver yawned. With Rider drawing on his mana now, he was feeling really tired. As he fell asleep, he heard Rider promise to keep watch.
(Unknown)
Waver opened his eyes again. Instead of being in the forest, he was in a large metal room. Around him were children, a mixture of boys and girl, all around 6 years old. They were quiet for the most part, though some were asking about where they were. A door at the far end opened, and an old lady walked through. Once she had their attention, she explained what was happening.
They were to be part of a 'Spartan' project, how they would be the protectors of the Earth and all her colonies. The lady, Dr. Halsey, had chosen them because they were the best of their age. The next day, they were given military uniforms and sent out to train with Chief Petty Officer Franklin Mendez. Waver stayed near one boy, whose name badge called him 'John-117'. This boy was determined, doing everything as best as he could. He made friends with two other kids called Kelly-087 and Samuel-034.
Soon, when they were 8, they were dropped off in a massive forest and told to return to the 'Pelican'. John led the group, even ambushing soldiers who had been guarding the jet. He managed to get everyone back home, and was made leader of the whole group.
When he was 14, he was placed into a medical chamber. There machines did surgery on him and injected strange liquids into his system. John and his team looked much older, as though they were 18 instead. One day, when John was at a gym, four other soldiers entered the room. John insulted them and a nearby sergeant had them all enter a boxing ring. Two men died in the ring while the other two were severely injured.
Years later, John and his friends were informed about a massacre that happened on 'Harvest'. Surprising Waver, Harvest was actually another planet. There, John found aliens calling themselves 'The Covenant'. The Spartans escaped, but Samuel had to stay behind, and blew up the alien vessel. After that, the Spartans were given new armour, and John wore a familiar-looking olive armour.
"So that's Rider." Waver thought to himself. "Man, he wasn't kidding about his life. I would've died from that."
John kept fighting the aliens, and even with loss of life the Spartans just kept winning. Their biggest loss was when the Covenant attacked the Spartan's home, Reach. Only a few Spartans managed to escape, including John, who 'jumped' in random directions.
John's ship, The 'Pillar of Autumn', arrived outside a massive ring object. An attack from The Covenant forced the Autumn to crash land on the ring, which was big enough to have its own land. John thought his way through all kinds of obstacles aiding other survivors, and they thought they could stop the Covenant.
Until they discovered the Flood.
An army of undead…things, the Flood kept spreading across the Halo, infecting humans and aliens alike. A new ally called 343 Guilty Spark asked John to activate the Halo. He nearly did before Cortana informed him that the Halo would wipe-out all life within hundreds of thousands of light-years. After disabling the Halo for a time, John managed to find the Autumn and escaped the ring-world, but not without detonating it. He gathered some survivors, and headed back to Earth Space.
Not long afterwards, the Covenant attacked Earth. The UNSC managed to drive them off, and followed them to another Halo. There, John met with a Covenant Elite called the Arbiter, and The Gravemind.
The Gravemind was a 'king' of the Flood, and allied with John to stop the ring from firing. The Arbiter helped, as his people were being culled by the Covenant. They stopped the Halo, but were informed by Guilty Spark that the Ark was ready to activate all the Halos. John was sent to the Covenant capital, High Charity, to stop the Covenant's plan. He followed back to Earth, but had to leave Cortana behind.
John returned to Earth, where he and the Arbiter worked together to fight the Covenant and follow them to the Ark. They were side-tracked when the Flood started invading Earth, and only with the help of the Elite fleet did they stop them. After battling the Covenant on the Ark, losing friends, and killing the Prophet of Truth, The Gravemind turned on them. He had used High Charity and Cortana to follow everyone to the Ark. Luckily, John saved Cortana and detonated High Charity. The Ark had made another Halo ring to replace the first one, and John used it to destroy the Flood. Because of its half-completed state, the firing caused it to explode, damaging or destroying the Ark. Guilty Sparks turned against them, leading John to destroy him. John and the Arbiter made it back to the ship, the Dawn, but they were separated by the closing wormhole. John and Cortana floated through space for a long time, before ending up at Requiem. They found remnants of the Covenant, strange robots, and finally The Diadact. He was an hero of the Forerunners, but wanted to exterminate Humanity. A human vessel, The Infinity, had arrived and was hacked by the Diadact. He travelled to Earth-space, with John as an unwitting passenger, where he found a weapon called the Composer. The Diadact got hold of it, but humanity gave John the means to breach his ship. After a gruelling fight, John and Cortana immobilised him long enough to detonate a nuke. Though none of them survived it, John went knowing he had saved Humanity from an alien threat.
(8:00pm, Einzbern Castle)
Kayneth and Lancer were standing on the road leading to the Castle. It had taken a bit, but they had discovered where Saber had his base.
"You sure this is a good idea?" Lancer asked Kayneth. "You're a bit handicapped at the moment."
"Really? Handicapped?" Kayneth retorted. "No magic can bring back my hand. And we still need to pay back Saber for that attack. And Emiya for blowing up our first base."
"Alright, but just remember. Emiya didn't act like you thought he would the first time. Doubt he'll do so this time either."
"Just keep Saber distracted. He'll probably have his master flee, leaving Emiya all alone."
"Besides." He continued as he pulled a test-tube of mercury out of his pocket. "I am most definitely not defenceless. Fervor, mei sanguis." He uncorked the test-tube, pouring out the mercury and letting it writhe on the ground.
"Our victory is assured."
(Inside the Castle)
Everyone was lazing about in the castle dining room. Emiya and Maiya were going over new strategies for enemy Servants, while Irisviel and Saber were sitting on the couch. As promised, Saber refused to work or speak to Emiya, letting Irisviel act as a mediator between the two. He started, standing up while Irisviel gasped.
"We have company." They said as Saber's armour materialised. Emiya grabbed his pistols as Maiya grabbed Irisviel.
"Maiya, head out the secret passage as we agreed." Emiya was saying as they ran for the entranceway. "Saber and I will distract the enemy while you both make your escape." Maiya nodded as she dragged Irisviel down a side passage. Emiya hid behind a hallway, while Saber stood to one side of the main door. Something strong blasted the doors off their hinges, buffeting Saber as he stepped back. El-Melloi stepped through the ruined doorway, a floating silvery ball on his right, and Lancer on his left. Saber attempted to kill him, but the ball changed shape, intercepting his blade. It did not stop it, but it did slow it down enough for Lancer to block it. El-Melloi walked forward as the two Servants jumped outside.
"Hello Kiritsugu Emiya." He said. "Now that the War is back on track, I need to repay you for all the damage and cost you have caused me." The ball grew a spike, piercing the hallway Emiya hid behind. As Kayneth walked forward, his foot pulled on a string and the statues decorating the entranceway exploded. Dozens of large ball bearing shattered the walls as they converged on him. When the smoke cleared though, the silver ball surrounded him, the surface smoothing over. It moved away and left him standing in the room unharmed.
"Mechanical traps of all things." He chuckled, before looking serious. "Have you truly fallen so low, Emiya? Very well, this is no longer a duel but an extermination by me, the ninth patriarch of the Archibald family." He looked down the hall Emiya had been in, but found nothing. No matter. "Volumen, find him." The ball sprouted tendrils, which moved down the hallway and probing rooms.
Emiya will not escape.
(**/*\**)
Emiya headed back to the dining room, accessing the castle's security cameras to check if Maiya and Iri had escaped. Seeing them nowhere, he moved to head out, when he noticed mercury flowing through the keyhole of the door.
"I see. Automated probes." A massive mercury blade sliced through the table and floor in the blink of an eye, cutting a circle through both. Four tentacles grabbed hold, lifting El-Melloi up.
"I found you. Pathetic rat." Emiya opened fire, only for the mercury to block all his bullets. He tried firing from a different position, but that was useless too. The mercury lowered as El-Melloi looked smug. "Now skulk." He said as four tendrils aimed for him.
"Time Alter: Double Accelerate." Emiya casted, the world moving slower as he jumped down the hole El-Melloi made. As the tendril impacted the ground, Kayneth was surprised to see that Emiya had disappeared. "Oh." As he realised. "He manipulated the flow of time to greatly accelerate himself by using his own body as a Reality Marble. It seems he uses a little magic after all. Still, only a miserable little coward would depend on tricks after being trained as a mage. Perhaps dying will teach him his place." He dropped down the hole, with Volumen close behind.
Emiya will not escape.
(Castle Entrance)
Saber and Lancer clashed again and again, like a rerun of their previous fight. Saber now knew that Lancer had to keep the pressure on him to stagger his movements, while Lancer knew to keep her distance when he used his Frostmourne Phantasm. Most of the ground was cracked from their blows. But Saber was slowly winning.
Lancer's magic was next to useless against him, while his strikes were surely weakening her. She kept dodging his swings and being pushed back. She was losing, and she knew it.
"Your time amongst the living will soon be over." He said as he struck again. Lancer healed the damage, but her mana wouldn't last forever. Saber chuckled.
Lancer felt uneasy. Bahamut wouldn't be much good if he could get his dragon out. And the strain on Melloi's mana would make it costly for both of them. She was contemplating contacting him and asking for more mana when a shadow appeared. Looking up, she saw some red beast falling through the air at them. They quickly dodged, before getting a better look at it.
It looked like a dog-man of a kind, with a human-like face but with four legs. Claws crunched as teeth gnashed. It charged at Saber, seeing him as a more immediate threat. He slashed at it, but it ignored its wounds and struck him. He flew through the air, his armour clanging from the blow. Lancer thought to help her master, when another one rushed her. She switched to Sentinel, blocking as the beast struck her. She slid back from the force, before going Ravager and shooting spells at it. It burned under Fira, but that only seemed to enrage it. It roared as it charged again, with Lancer quickly cutting its head off. Surprising her, it continued moving until she stabbed it through the chest. Looking over at Saber, she saw that he had frozen half of it, with the other half lying a few feet away. They contemplated fighting each other again, when the flesh moved. It changed into zombies, with a small blade on one arm. Saber and Lancer killed them quickly, but they just reformed again. They heard scuttling and looked down the driveway.
Coming towards them was a small army of the beasts, with zombies amongst them. And at the head of the group was…
"Hey guys." Berserker said, wearing his armour again. "You wouldn't believe the number of graveyards and prisons I had to go through to get enough material for these guys."
"Why are you here, Berserker?" Saber asked, betting it was beating him in a fight.
"Well, I kinda need some more workspace. This castle looks big enough, and I get to kill another Servant. Or two. Win-win for me."
"You really think you and your beasties are a match for us?" Lancer taunted, before turning to face Saber. "We are screwed," She whispered. "Unless we put aside our differences and work together. Can you do that?"
"Only until we slay the bastard." Saber replied.
"Uh, hey" Berserker said. "Enhanced hearing. Nice bravado, by the way. Oh, and Bastard? That a bit rude." The army charged forward, roaring and screeching as they hungered for flesh. Saber and Lancer readied themselves for the impact.
(Castle Forest)
Irisviel looked back at the castle when she started hearing screeching. It sounded like it came from the front of the castle, impossible to see from their location. The fact that it coincided with a large number of intruders arriving scared her. She sighed, hoping that Kiri would be ok.
"Madam." Maiya interrupted her thoughts. "Please hurry. Rest assured that Saber will be able to deal with Lancer and whatever made those screeches." She moved through the forest, Irisviel not far behind her. Irisviel gasped again as the bounded field was disturbed for a third time. "Madam?" Maiya asked.
"Another intruder has just arrived." Irisviel told her. "They're waiting for us in the direction we're headed. We'll run into them if we go this way."
"Understood. Let's circle around to the north side then." Irisviel gasped yet again.
"The one who is coming is… Kirei Kotomine." Maiya was shocked. Kotomine was one man Kiritsugu didn't want to encounter during the War. He said that he couldn't understand the man, and that scared him. "Maiya, the orders given to you were to protect me from harm, right?"
"Yes. But…"
"But what? We mustn't let him get to Kiritsugu. No matter what we have to do to stop him. Isn't that what you were thinking?"
"Madam. How did you…?"
"What a coincidence. I was thinking the exact same thing. Maiya. Kirei Kotomine represents the most dangerous threat that Kiritsugu has ever have to face." She looked very serious. "You and I are going to hold him of here. Understood, Maiya?"
Maiya looked a bit sad. "I apologise, but please prepare yourself Madam."
"I will. Please don't worry about me. Do whatever you think you have to do. What you believe necessary to win. And not what Kiritsugu ordered you to do."
"Right." Maiya agreed as she readied her gun. Irisviel giggled, surprising Maiya. "What's so funny?"
"Isn't the human heart a funny thing?"
(Inside the Castle)
Kayneth was getting angry. He had been tracking Emiya, but somehow the man surprised him. If it wasn't for Volumen's automated defence, he would've died. Then Emiya had shot through Volumen with a stronger bullet, going through left shoulder. Emiya had escaped, and now he was seeking him again. But he'll be ready this time. He will be victorious.
Emiya will not escape!
(Outside the Castle)
Saber was getting worried. He already had prior experience with an enemy force that refused to stay down. He remembered how aggravating the Scourge had been when he fought against them. He already knew to be ready to strike out at a downed opponent. He had his back to the Castle so that they couldn't sneak up behind. He had summoned ghouls to fight alongside him.
But they just kept coming.
A group were blasted as Lancer flew overhead. But the hole was filled as they pulled themselves together somehow. One jumped impossibly high and knocked her off, but she managed to keep them at bay while her dragon transformed into a person and lashed out. Surprisingly, they didn't come back when frozen, burnt or hit with necromancy. But Saber knew they didn't have enough mana to keep this up forever. And the beasts had already converted his ghouls.
A screech above him made him glance up to see zombies crawling down he wall. He lashed out with death coil, before intercepting a blow from another zombie. Black spikes erupted by his feet and clanged as they glanced off his armour. He looked at Berserker to see him pulling his hand out of the ground. Saber growled. He had no choice. They would have to withdraw. But how to let Lancer know?
That problem was solved when one of the larger beasts struck her. She sailed through the air and smashed through a window. Her dragon took to the sky, waiting for her to regroup. As he carved a path to the door, he wondered if she was going to find her master. It was no concern if she didn't. The two of them could die now.
But he had better grab his real master before Berserker regrouped.
(Inside)
Emiya heard more traps being set off down the hallway. He knew they wouldn't hurt El-Melloi, but they gave him a clue where he was. The lights went out as another trap went off. He heard him muttering to himself as his mystic code smashed the hallway looking for him. Then he turned around.
"There you are you skulking little rat." Emiya smirked as they stared each other down. "You don't expect the same trick to work a second time, do you? Low-born scum. The fact that you succeeded in landing…"
Whatever he had to say was lost as his Servant came crashing through the window. Screeching and roaring now echoed through the hallway. Lancer got back up, wincing with pain.
"Boss, we gotta go." She said. "Berserker's here to claim the castle, and he's brought an army."
El-Melloi growled before looking at Emiya again. "It appears we'll have to cut this short. I do look forward to seeing these beasts devour you piece by piece." Lancer grabbed him as he collected his code, before calling for her dragon. They jumped out the window and landed on its back as it flew away.
And zombies crawled through the open window.
Emiya opened fire as he ran away, watching in surprise as they just got back up. He rushed down the hallways, hearing more explosions as they triggered yet more traps. He heard Saber's armour clanking as they met up not too far from the side passage Maiya and Iri had taken.
"This battle is lost." He said. "We need to leave immediately." His sword glowed and froze a zombie that had followed him. They rushed out the door, following the path Iri had taken.
Emiya hoped they would reach them, before these things did.
(Outside)
"Master, I have news. / Berserker is attacking. / He has an army." Assassin materialised as Kirei held Irisviel in one hand.
Their attack had been pitiful, though not for lack of trying. If it wasn't for his Kevlar robes and increased strength, they might've killed him. As it was, everything they threw at him failed. Bullets, knives, even magic string failed to make a dent in him. The other woman laid at his feet, injured and unable to move far. He had been questioning Irisviel, wondering who had ordered her to attack him and defend Emiya. There was no way they could've done it for love.
But then Assassin had appeared, and by listening Kirei heard things crashing through the forest. Assassin and him were no match for any army. As he walked away, he thought about the fight.
"Impossible. Could these women have challenged me of their own accord? Without being ordered to do so?" He frowned. "No. Kiritsugu Emiya is like me. He is alone, and empty inside. Understood by no-one." He rushed after his Servant. "He must be."
Emiya gasped as he found them. They were badly injured. Saber rushed forward and killed a zombie as Emiya cradled them. They had to still be alive. They had to. He barely noticed as Saber made a clearing, only paying attention when his dragon rose from the ground. Saber helped him lift the girls on its back, holding on as it flew away. Looking back at the castle, he noticed Berserker standing alone, waving at them as they left. A glow let him see that Saber was healing Maiya and Irisviel. Everyone was silent as they flew through the clouds, shivering in the cold air.
Things had changed now, and definitely not for the better.
(**/*\**)
Berserker would've smirked if he had a mouth in this form, settling for an ironic wave at Saber and his team. His Infected were devouring the dead, reusing them to grow new soldiers. He commanded the group in the forest to consume the trees. He preferred human biomass, but beggars can't be choosers. And the Church would be in uproar if he used a city for his research. It was fortunate they didn't notice his visits to the local prison.
He walked through the open door, his creations spreading over the walls and floor. Soon, the castle will be ready for his work. Hunter growths were already forming over the walls, with Hydras growing on the floor.
He started laughing. Soon all the Servants will run before him. And he will improve this world.
No matter what anyone thought.
And so Berserker chases Saber out of their castle and gains a new headquarters. I really wanted a good reason to change their base to the house from the anime. And I figured that having an army assault them would be a very good reason.
And for the first time, I'm making a little Omake. I hope you guys enjoy it.
(**/*\**)
"Alright everyone, listen up." Risei shouted as the Servants crowded in the church. "Unfortunately, we kinda went over budget on some of the fights. I mean, we had a dragon fight, then Mr. Morris as Viggato, and this war in the castle sucked-up all our remaining funds. We are now officially broke."
"What?" Assassin said. "But my contract says we've still got a week or so before we're finished."
"Yeah." Archer said. "What are we going to do, wave sticks and shout 'bang, bang, bang'?"
Risei gave them all a massive grin. "Not to worry. The church knows a great way to make some fine cash. Disney Parodies!"
"WHAT?" Everyone shouted.
(Disney)
Archer wandered down the street, waving a cane in one hand. He was dressed in a mangy coat and pants. Both seemed expensive, but had fallen into disrepair over time. As he strolled along humming to himself, he spied with his little eye a strange little boy. Made of tin and with big beady eyes, he was a living puppet. He sneaked up behind the tin boy and tripped him up with his cane.
"Oh! Uh, oh how clumsy of me! My, my, my, my. Oh, I'm, uh, terribly sorry. I do hope you're not, um well, injured." He said.
"I'm alright." Clank replied.
Ah, well…um… good. And what's this? A book? Seems you're a man, I mean boy, of scholar. I mean, letters."
"I'm going to school." He replied.
"School? Nah. You don't need school. There's always the, uh, easy way to success."
"There is?"
Archer nodded, taking a bite from Clank's apple. "Showbiz. Where people don't care that you're small or metal, or that you're best friend has saved the universe about a dozen times and doesn't even get a hint of respect from others and…"
"Archer." Clank whispered. "You're going off script."
"Right well, anyway. I can already see your name in big, bright letters. Uh, what is your name?"
"Pinocchio."
"Pinocchio? Why that's got to be the dumbest…" He coughed. "I mean, greatest name ever. For a puppet."
Clank glared at him. "You're not even trying anymore, are you?"
"Nope."
"Well. The others must be doing better than this."
(Disney)
"Really?" Lancer asked from her canoe. "Pocahontas? That has got to be the most stereotypical thing you can think of."
"It was either that, or 'The Rescuers'." Risei yelled from his director chair. "Now, get into character."
Lancer sighed, flipping her long hair from her face. She strolled up to a large, gnarled tree, and whacked it several times with her lance. "Yo. Old hag. Wakey, wakey."
Kayneth coughed as leaves fell on his face. How insulting was this? Risei will pay for this insult. "Yes, speak to me child. What news do you bring?"
"My old man wants me to marry some weirdo, but I'm seeing a better choice in my dreams."
"Oh? A mystic dream? Do tell."
"I see a rugged blond man, spinning some arrow or something. Point is, he's hot. So where do I find him."
"The spirits of the land will point you to where he will be, child."
"Right. Thanks. By the way, I need some kindling." And with that, she smashed the tree wide open. Kayneth screamed as he went flying and crashed into the bush far away. Satisfied, Lancer wandered off to find some weird spirit to beat up. If she did that enough times, she'd get a real answer.
"CUT!" Risei yelled.
(Disney)
"Young love." Irisviel said from the tower. "It's a grand thing."
"Indeed." Sola sighed, gazing out the window. "But I worry he knows not how much I still love him."
"Now, now Maid Marian. That's not true. One day, your uncle Richard will have an outlaw for an in-law. Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder."
"Or more forgetful. He's most likely found another lady to wed."
(Disney)
Assassin wore a green tunic and hat over his bodysuit, a bow on his back. He was lying in the grass, gazing at the sky.
"I know that look." Kirei said. "You're thinking of a girl with long eyelashes and wonderful beauty, aren't you?"
"…"
"Why do not climb her tower yonder and sweep her off her feet?"
"…"
"You know she still loves you, Robin Hood."
"…"
"Dammit, you're supposed to say something."
"…"
"What ho, Little John." Risei yelled as he stepped into the scene, his director beret still on. "Does thou heard-ith the news-ith?"
"Greetings, Friar Tuck." Kirei called back. "Do you mean the news that we anger old Prince John again?"
"Nay. I mean-ith thy news-ith that he shall host an archery contest-ith. Surely-ith one such as Robin Hood could-ith with the challenge-ith."
Assassin sat up at that. "Challenge?"
"Assassin." Kirei hissed. "You're supposed to be interested to win Maid Marian's heart."
"Don't I already have it? Didn't Sola just say she loved me?"
"But Robin Hood doesn't know that."
"I mean, I fight not for challenges, but for love." He looked at Kirei, as if seeking his approval.
He sighed. "Close enough."
(Disney)
"…He had love." Avenger said, holding tightly to a necklace and pointing at Caster. She wore a long white dress that showed off her curves. "He never lost sight of what was really important."
"Easy." Caster begged. He was dressed in a purple suit, with a tall top-hat on top. "Careful with that. Careful."
"And neither. Will. I." She tossed the necklace to the ground, only for it to stop as a Djinn grabbed it at the last moment. Caster chuckled an evil laugh as the walls fell down, showing they were now in a graveyard. A whirl of dust swirled around her, parting to reveal a frog puppet dangling on some strings.
"Y'all should've taken my deal." Caster pinned the puppet with his cane, his top-hat at a jaunted angle. "Now you will spend the rest of your lives as a slimy little frog."
"It's not slime. It's mucus!" Avenger's hand grabbed the necklace and smashed it to the ground. Caster screamed as the puppet escaped him.
"No. No! How am I gonna pay back my debts now?" His Djinn swirled around him, saying 'boom' over and over again. Three of them floated off the tombstones they had been sitting on. "Friends." Caster squeaked with a broken smile.
"Are you ready?" The three djinn sang.
"No. I'm not ready at all. In fact, I've got lots more plans."
"Are you ready?"
"This is just a minor setback in a major operation. Once I whip up another spell, we'll be back in business." Avenger whispered in his ear as he stalled. "I-I've still got that prince." The Djinn piled on him, pulling him back behind a grave. "Just a little more time. I'll promise to pay y'all back. I promise!" He gave a loud scream as they smothered him underneath. Risei sighed as he watched them.
"Well at least someone is taking this seriously."
(Disney)
"Do I have to wear this hat?" Waver whined, wearing a cowboy hat. "Why can't Johnson wear it? He's Texan, right?"
"Due to budget cuts, we can't afford Johnson." Risei explained. "Now shut up, Woody." The stage was set up so that it appeared that they were underneath a car. "And ACTION!"
Waver started backing away, looking fearful until he crashed into the back of Rider. "We're going to die!" Waver cried.
"Sheriff, this is no time to panic." Rider said, his armour painted white and with a jetpack on his back.
"This is a perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move to their new house in two days, and it's all your fault! "
Rider looked even scarier as he glared down at Waver. "My... My fault? If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place..."
"Oh, yeah?" Waver interrupted. "Well, if you hadn't shown up with your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me..."
"Don't talk to me about importance! Because of you, the future of this entire universe is in jeopardy!"
"What? What are you talkin' about?"
Rider gazed up at the sky, as difficult as it was through the car. "Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!"
Waver stared at him for five seconds before shouting at him. "YOU. ARE. A. TOY! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear! You're - you're an action figure! You are a child's play thing!" With that last sentence, he held his thumb and forefinger close together to emphasize how small Rider was. Rider merely stared at him before shaking his head.
"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity." He used a military salute. "Farewell." And he started walking away.
"Oh, yeah?" Waver yelled after him. "Well, you're… you're a loser!"
"Cut!" Risei yelled. "Good, good. Except that Woody never called Buzz a loser. Now, when we start up again, I want you two to re-enact the fight between Buzz and Woody."
"Are you NUTS!?" Waver yelled back. "He's twice my size. He'd just need to roll over to kill me."
"Less whining, more fighting! ACTION!"
"I hate my life." Waver moaned.
(Disney)
Sakura screamed as the clock gears grew closer and closer to her, threatening to crush her underneath. Tohsaka did not hesitate, using a great chain to fly towards her. As he grabbed her at the last moment, Berserker roared as his cape was pinned between gears. His rage boiled over until he saw red, tearing the cape and growing claws and fangs. He raced through the gears, heedless of how close they came to crushing him, tearing apart anything g in his way. As he reached the top of the clock tower, he spotted Tohsaka handing Sakura to Kariya, who stood on a hot-air balloon. They nearly made it when he charged the two of them. Though Sakura was pushed into Kariya's arms, he at least carried Tohsaka with him as he fell to the hands of the clock. They landed at different parts, Berserker cracking the metal when he landed. He rushed after Tohsaka, striking at him with his claws. But Tohsaka waylaid him with a stream of fire, giving him a chance to dodge. But eventually, his luck ran out. Berserker grabbed him by the throat, slamming him again and again to the ground. He threw him aside with a slash, and stalked towards his battered body.
"There's no escape this time, Basil." He growled as he walked closer. He grabbed him by the throat again, and threw him off the hand. As Kariya and Sakura gazed on in horror, he smiled and cackled. "I've won!" He laughed. "I've won, I've won!"
"On the contrary!" He heard Tohsaka shout back. Stopping his revelry, he looked down to see him hanging on to the crashed airship he arrived on. "The game's not over yet." He held up a bell, his bell, and gave it a single ring. The clock struck twelve. And the bell rang.
The vibrations were enough to shake him over the side. As he fell, he reached out for Tohsaka. But he missed by inches. As he continued falling, screaming and roaring in defeat, He heard Tohsaka give one final remark.
"That's going to hurt."
(Disney)
The final scene was on top of a snow-covered mountain. The breeze blew by in swirls of ice as Saber walked up the side. Ice formed around him as he walked, rage barely contained. Mind you, none of the other Servants had to crossdress.
"I. Am not. Singing." He gritted out. "Especially in this outfit."
"C'mon Saber." Risei called through the megaphone. "Elsa is an ice Queen. You're an ice King. She was stoic, you're emotionally vacant. She creates winterlands, and you make wastelands. Now get singing."
Saber sighed as music started playing. He glared at everyone as they waved him on. Finally, his part came. But there was no way he was going to sing.
"The snow glows white on the mountainside, not a footprint to be seen." He said. Yes, not sung. Said. "A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I'm the King. The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried." If he hadn't been glowering, or on a mountain, he might've noticed Risei talking to Emiya. "Don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good man you always have to be. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know." By now he was really singing, eyes ablaze as Emiya's Command Seals glowed. "Well now they know."
"Let it go, let it go. I am going to kill you all. Let it go, let it go. The entire world will fall. I don't care, what the police will say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway."
(Disney)
"Right then." Risei gathered everyone he could back together in a meeting. Unfortunately, several members couldn't make it for one reason or another. "The good news is that we made a shitload of cash from those parodies. Unfortunately, after removing the expenses, such as the sets, the costumes, broken equipment, Kayneth's medical bill, Waver's medical bill, Tohsaka's medical bill, Emiya's fake funeral…"
"That was fake?" Saber growled.
"I mean real funeral, property damage, hurt feelings, peeling Berserker off the pavement and copyright infringement… We're broke again. In fact, we're worse off than when we started.
"So, we just embarrassed ourselves for no reason whatsoever." Archer summed the whole thing up. Everyone glared at Risei until Berserker looked at Saber.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?
Saber smiled. "I hope so."
(Disney)
"I can't believe we just robbed Fort Knox." Caster said as they left burning rubble behind them.
"I can't believe we didn't think of this sooner." Berserker retorted, carting a massive load of gold behind him. "This solves our problems ten-fold. Hell, we might have enough to do a sequel."
"Hello there, mighty warriors." Kiritsugu Emiya called out as he walked closer, wearing an eye-patch and a fake moustache. "I am Shirou Emiya, Kiritsugu's long-lost and more handsome twin brother. Can I help you in spending that gold?"
Everyone stared at him for a while before Saber sighed. "I can't even be bothered. Sure Emiya. Just don't touch my share."
"Certainly, now where are your most beautiful ladies, who shared my brother's bed?"
There we go. Took a while to figure out which films to parody. Some were easy, like Archer and Pinocchio, or Saber and Frozen. Berserker gave me so much trouble though. Hope you guys know which Disney films they starred in.
Well, tell me what you thought about it. Finally, here is Berserker's stat sheet, since he's made such a big impact in the plot.
Berserker
Name: Alex Mercer
Series: Prototype
Master: Kariya Matou
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Strength: A
Endurance: EX
Agility: A
Magical Power: N/A
Good Luck: E
Noble Phantasm: A++
Class Skills:
Independent Action (EX)
Independent Action is the ability to remain independent even when rejecting the prana supply from the Master. At the higher ranks, it is also possible to remain for extended periods of time in this world without an established contract. It is both useful and troublesome depending on the disposition of the Servant and the rank of Independent Action. Acting in autonomy from the Master's prana supply, the Master can concentrate their own prana on large spells, or the Servant will be fine even in the case they cannot supply prana due to injury. The downside is that they can be harder to control and keep by their side, making the only true way to command them by utilizing Command Spells. At this level the Servant can remain in this world indefinitely, and can utilise all Noble Phantasms without outside mana.
Due to Mercer's biological make-up, once he creates a construct he will be alive again instead of being another spirit.
Mad Enhancement (A)
Mad Enhancement raises basic parameters in exchange of hindering mental capacities. In some cases, also seals away Personal Skills. At A level there is a rank up for parameters, but most of one's reason is robbed. Due to undergoing consciousness equalization with the Master, one has become a more mechanical Servant.
Mercer enters a rage form, doing more damage at faster speed, but becomes less defensive and resilient in exchange.
Territory Creation (A)
Territory Creation is the skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus. At A rank creation of a "Temple", which is superior to a "Workshop", becomes possible.
Due to the viral effects of Blacklight, Mercer can create entire areas that impede his opponents and boost the stats of his creations and himself.
Personal Skills:
Animal Dialogue (A)
Animal Dialogue is communication of intention with animals that don't speak a "language of words". At this rank the Servant can understand and communicate with all animals.
Due to eating animals, Mercer can understand their language and body stances.
Battle Continuation (EX)
Battle Continuation is the strength of vitality for predicaments. Also, the ability to withdraw from combat and reach allied territory alive after being defeated. At this rank the only way to kill the Servant is to utterly destroy them with an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or higher.
Unless one completely destroys all samples of Blacklight, Mercer can regenerate from even the smallest sample.
Clairvoyance (C)
Clairvoyance connotes superior visual perception and dynamic occipital capture, such as to supplement the long-range aiming of projectile weapons. At higher ranks, it is possible that the bearers of this skill have acquired such abilities as precognition ("future vision") and other forms of perception beyond standard eyesight (X-ray vision and so forth). At this rank Berserker is capable of keeping track of fast-moving object within a range of 4kms.
Eternal Arms Mastership (A+)
Eternal Arms Mastership prevents degradation of fighting skills when under the effect of mental hindrance. At this level mastership of combat arts has reached the point of being said to be unrivalled in one's era. By complete merging of mind, body and technique, it is possible to make use of full fighting skills even when under the influence of any sort of mental hindrance.
Expert of Many Specializations (A+)
Expert of Many Specializations is access to and use of many expert skills. At this level Berserker has mastered nearly all skills of the modern world.
By consuming the brains of his victims, Mercer can learn every skill and experience they know, including security codes and military skills.
Eye of the Mind (False) (A)
It refers to a natural talent to avoid danger on the basis of an innate 6th sense, intuition, or prescience, where accuracy of instinct has been augmented by experience - somewhat overcoming the problem of visual obstructions that appear in the course of combat. The ability grants an effect of offering resistance against penalties caused by visual obstructions.
Librarian of Stored Knowledge (A)
Librarian of Stored Knowledge is an ability that makes it possible for a clear recall of knowledge from memory with a successful Luck check, even if the information perceived in the past was not consciously acknowledged at the time. At this level the Servant can easily remember everything they have learned.
As his whole body is made of individual Blacklight cells, his brain is capable of storing more knowledge than any computer. The larger he becomes, the more knowledge he can use.
Mental Pollution (C)
Mental Pollution makes it highly possible to shut out any mental interference Thaumaturgy, due possessing a distorted mentality. However, at the same time it becomes impossible to come to an understanding with individuals that do not possess an equivalent rank of mental pollution. At this rank it provides a probability that mental interference magecraft will be rendered ineffective. In the condition that the Servant's master is of Evil alignment, and perpetrates acts of cruelty against the Servant, Mental Pollution will increase in rank, further increasing defences against magecraft.
As a virus, Mercer is almost completely incapable of thinking like a normal human. He can replicate feelings and acts of good or evil, but he cannot categorise himself as evil.
Monstrous Strength (A)
Monstrous Strength is an ability possessed by monsters and beasts, temporary boost of the Strength parameter by one rank for a time limit determined by the ranking of this skill. As Berserker is a true monster this skill is always active. Rises to EX level when using Top of the Food Chain.
Natural Body (EX)
Natural Body is the possession of a perfect body as a living being from birth. The owner of this Skill is treated as if his STR is always Rank-Up. At this rank STR is rank-up three times.
Presence Detection (EX)
Presence Detection is the ability to detect other Servants and local mana sources. Called an ability of the highest class, Berserker is capable of detecting anything from other Servants to water sources clear across Snowfield, covering more than ten kilometres.
Using his Sonar ability, Berserker is capable of tracking any prey he can get a clear image of.
Self-Modification (EX)
Self-Modification is the aptitude to merge one's own flesh with body parts of others. The higher the ranking in this skill, the further away one is from being a proper hero. At this level Berserker can modify his body to do anything biologically possible or probable.
His cellular structure means that Alex can shapeshift into anything biologically possible, and several that are regarded as impossible.
Shapeshift (EX)
Shapeshifting refers to both borrowing bodies and appearance change. A method used by the millenary spirits of foxes and badgers of China that are put on par with Tamamo-no-Mae. At this level Berserker can copy someone exactly, right down to DNA and memories if he has consumed their DNA or brain.
Noble Phantasms:
Survival of The Fittest
After suffering an effect, Mercer can modify his body to be more resistant to it next time.
My name is Legion (Anti-Army)
Alex breeds large amounts of infected to create an army. Requires either large amounts of mana or biomass. At larger levels will create a reality marble based on New York Zero.
Top of the Food chain (Anti-Army)
Mercer evolves into a massive monster that attacks through tentacles, rubble, bio orbs and screams.