Chapter 5
Control
Control: the ability to purposefully direct or suppress change. Marissa had always been one who liked to be in control, if asked she was sure anyone in her life would refer to her as a control freak and yet in this moment and time she had lost control. The situation she was now in hindered her from controlling the outcome of today's events and that thought scared her, all that once filled her mind had now departed and replaced by fear. Fear of what was to come next as her friend stared down at her contemplating what she was to say.
"It-..It's going to be okay Mari-" Ellen cooed "I know it's hard for us to step away from our kids and let them breathe… I know you love Freddie but you have to stop smothering him Mari…"
Marissa's fears were expunged from Her as it seemed Ellen had not fully understood the implications carried by Her words, Marissa knew Her friend wasn't stupid and Her ignorance of the meaning of what she had said was understandable as most people would rather stay blissfully ignorant than to know the truth. If the truth had been revealed it would have shaken or destroyed their friendship and most likely ended it with Her losing what she held dear in Her life and spending some years in prison, so Marissa was glad Her friend had avoided the truth but that didn't excuse Herself from Her own actions and Marissa knew she needed to get a hold of herself.
Parking lot (Seattle medical center)
Ellen watched as Marissa Bensons car pulled out the lot and drove away until it was out of sight, Ellen had a look of indifference as she Marissa words rang through Her mind 'I love him El And I just can't stop'. She had sounded so desperate that it broke her heart even now as she thought back to her friend's breakdown, but that wasn't the reason she now sat in her car seemingly unable to move. It had been gnawing at Her; at the back of Her mind since she had entered the car, the feeling that she was missing something or most likely avoiding something but she didn't want to think about it right now; it had been a long day and Marissa's breakdown adding to it had exhausted Her and all she wanted to do right now was go home and clock in as many hours of sleep as she could. With a sigh Ellen let her hand comb through her head and she slipped the car into gear before driving off.
Shay Apartment
Carly watched the bits of cereal as they went around in loops as she stirred her cereal, she didn't know how long she had been doing it as her mind was recalling yesterdays events. She had lost her virginity and a slight burning sensation in her crouch area was proof of that, when she thought back to the deed it all seemed a blur but she remembered the elation she had felt as she came and it made it all worth it. She had waked to find her partner gone but herself nicely tucked into her bed, by the time she woke it was quite late and after much deliberation she decided she would talk to Freddie the following day. Carly sat up straight breaking out of her trance, picking up her half eaten breakfast and discarding it on the sink.
"Hey you ready to go?" Spencer asked as He entered the living room
"Sure just let get my bag then we can go"
X
Spencer watched his little sister from the rear view mirror as she gazed out the window, she seemed to be deep in thought and that had been her state all morning and Spencer surmised that something was up but as for what; He couldn't guess.
"You ok Carls?" Spencer asked keeping his eyes on Carly through the rear view mirror
"Never better" Carly answered with a dazed smile as she turned to meet her brother's eyes
Ridgeway High School
Freddie silently waved at his mother as she drove away, He continued to watch the vehicle until it had disappeared into the city but continued to watch as He wondered if something was wrong. His mother hadn't met his eyes since she had returned from work last night and even more strange she hadn't made any advancement towards him whatsoever; had she come to her senses? He could only hope. With a sigh Freddie started towards the school entrance but stopped abruptly as a puff of smoke revealed Malika (Magic Malika) blocking his path, Freddie smiled at Malika's dramatic appearance which she returned with a slightly mental smile.
"Hey Malika" Freddie greeted the eccentric girl
"Good morning Freddie, have you prepared an answer for my proposition for this Friday?"
"Good morning and … I can't...I sort of have a girlfriend" Freddie replied not sure how much He should elaborate on his new found relationship as He hadn't talked to Carly yet.
"Oh…well I guess now would be the right time to make my exit huh" she said in a disheartened voice
Malika wasn't very popular and didn't have many if any friends, she got lonely at times not having friends but she found comfort in magic. It always cheered Her up to perform something new successfully especially when it was in front of people and how she'd leave them guessing when she was done. She'd had a crush on Freddie for a long time but wasn't sure how to approach him, Her first attempt was at the girls choice dance which hadn't worked out so well as Freddie didn't seem to like Her magic tricks very much. Magic was the only way she knew how to connect with people and during the night of the dance she had tried to act as normal as she could but she was so nervous that she had fallen back to her usual antics and used magic to try gain Freddie's attention; which was more or less centered on Carly. She considered herself an outsider in the school and had hoped being with Freddie could change that but it would seem she was too late and He was now taken. With a sigh she gave him a weak smile and made for the school entrance, not really feeling magical at the moment.
"Wait Malika" Freddie called out before she reached the door, not being able to stand the hurt look she had given him.
"Yes" Malika responded expectantly
"Uhm maybe we could go as two friends just hanging out?" Freddie asked uncertainly
"Ok" Malika said her smile returning without the mental part this time around
"Great so I'll meet you at the groovy smoothie after school on Friday" Freddie got a curt nod in affirmation before Malika disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Freddie was about to make his way inside when He noticed the new kid standing stock still starring wide eyed where Malika had just vanished, Freddie couldn't help but chuckle at the trepidation displayed by the boys face. Freddie's chuckles broke Tim from his shocked state and He quickly regained composure before turning his gaze to Freddie.
"How did she do that?" Tim asked calmly
"Hm... don't know, never really thought to ask" Freddie replied
"Really?" He asked with a skeptical look on his face
Shrug
"Well I will have to ask her about it sometime" He said making to leave but paused briefly and turned to Freddie once more "You should tie your shoe laces" then headed up the stairs and entered the school.
Freddie looked down to his sneakers to find them untied and quickly tied them and entered the school as well, the halls were quite busy making him think coming in late wasn't such a bad thing. His first period would be with Mr. Henning and He was already dreading it, Freddie unloaded some books into his locker before heading to his first class; it was still early and he had about 30 minutes before the class actually started. He sat down in his usual position flipped out his pear pod and popped the earphones in his ear figuring He could listen to some music and read ahead of the class and doze off during the actual lesson, holding up the book in front of him He lightly He tapped its back as the sounds of Franz Ferdinand filled his ears.
X
'Sam watched as the masses in the hallway went about their business, gossiping, spreading rumors and lies; so unworthy of life… and with that she knew she was doing the right thing. She slipped her hand to the back of her pants pulling out a Glock 45. And letting loose a couple of shells at the unsuspecting victims, Screams filled the air as two bodies were cut down, painting the floors crimson with their blood. Grinning maniacally Sam basked in the horror before her, proclaiming pandemonium the name of the day.'
Sam broke out of her thoughts lips cracking into a smile, she knew it was wrong to think of such things but she couldn't help it. These thoughts always managed to cheer Her up when Her days were bleak, she had left the house early not wanting there to be any chance of bumping into his mothers latest one night stand victim as He made his escape. She made her way to Her first class which she was quite sure would be deserted as there was some time before the lesson started, she was sure Carly hadn't arrived yet and there was no point in having meaningless conversation with the rest of the population so she figured she could just hide away for a while. She entered Mr. Henning's classroom to find the class empty except for one occupant, before she could think of turning away from the classroom his eyes darted straight at her. Sam gave a mental sigh as their eyes met, and she had been doing such a fine job at avoiding him. Freddie was her friend and she couldn't openly avoid him so leaving wouldn't be wise; and so she pushed forward and sat her self down next to him.
"Hey!" Freddie greeted louder than He intended as the music hindered his hearing. Sam was seated to his left and forcefully yanked the left earphone out of his ear before responding.
"You were screaming at me" she told him as He gave her an annoyed look
"We'll you didn't have to be so rough" He moped as He massaged his ear
"Sorry" Sam said shamefacedly as she found her mood returning to the slight depression she had started with.
….
….
….
"What?" Sam asked as Freddie gawked at Her open-mouthed
"You just apologized"
"Hmm I guess I did" she said casually
…..
…..
"What are you doing here so early class doesn't start for another twenty minutes?" Freddie asked giving up on getting an explanation for the apology.
"I thought this place would be empty, giving me a few minutes of peace" she said emphasizing on peace
"Ok" Freddie said getting the point and slipping on his earphone and turning his attention back to his book.
Sam watched as Freddie went back to his reading, she took up Freddie example and started looking through Her beg for Her pear pod seeing that there wasn't much she could do and reading was out of the question. After a few moments of looking through her beg she came to the conclusion that she had left her pear pod at home, looking over to Freddie Sam grabbed the legs of his desk and chair pulling their desks together. Ignoring Freddie's puzzled look she took the earphone from his left ear and slipping it on, she made to grab the pear pod but Freddie had already moved it out of her reach.
"My pod my music, if you want to listen you'll listen to what I play" Freddie said taking advantage of her less forceful mood
"Fine whatever, just turn up the volume I can't hear a thing" Sam said in a weary tone
"Sure"
Freddie watched Sam from the corner of his eyes, contemplating why she seemed to be in a submissive mood, usually she would forcefully try to take the pear pod from him and He would let her. Turning up the volume He watched as Sam's eyes seemed to go into a daze and surmised that her passive attitude was just because she had a lot on her mind.
"What the hell is this?" Sam asked breaking Freddie from his internal deliberations
"What?" Freddie asked
"The garbage your making me listen to"
"Oh that's Franz Ferdinand, their awesome huh?" He said with a smile
"No they suck" Sam huffed
"From you I'll take that as a compliment" Freddie said with an eye roll but smiled as He flipped to another page
Sam continued to berate Freddie's music and Freddie countered by blaming it on her personality defects, Sam felt a familiar warmth spread through her as they continued to argue. She felt her mood lighten as they went on conversing on Freddie lack of taste when it comes to good music and she had implied him being a homosexual a few times.
"Ok that's enough, give me the pod I can't stand anymore of your cheesy selections" Sam said holding out her hand
"Like I said, my music my selections" Freddie said
"You can either give it to me now or I can take it, you choose" Sam said giving him a look of indifference
"And welcome back miss Puckett" Freddie said with a sigh as He handed her the pod
Sam gave him a light shove and started to flip through his music giving him a few incredulous looks as she scrolled, finally finding something to Her taste and playing it she tossed the player back to Freddie.
"Well I'm surprised Fredward, I never figured you for a Metallica type guy"
"I'll have-"
Freddie was interrupted mid sentence as their classmates started filling into the classroom, and in the middle of the crowd filling into the room Carly stared at him and Sam. Freddie could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand as Carly made her way over to them, He was dumbstruck as she draped her hair over him and kissed him full on the mouth. He hadn't been expecting public displays of affection so soon in their relationship but returned Carly's kiss before she pulled away and sat to his right. Looking to his left to find Sam's mouth hanging slightly open He could only guess what was going through Sam and the rest of the classes mind as they all stared disbelievingly towards the them. Freddie was about to try explain the situation to Sam when Mr. Henning entered and motioned for Sam to put some distance between she and Freddie. Freddie sighed as Carly mouthed to Sam that she would explain later, the rest of the lesson was pretty much a disaster as its entirety was spent gossiping on Freddie and Carly's newly discovered relationship.
Hallway
The trio gathered at the their lockers with Sam folding Her arms over Her breasts as she waited for an explanation, Freddie looked to Carly to explain seeing it would be easier for Her to explain the situation.
"Ok who wants to explain to me what just happened in there" Sam glared at her two friends
"I'll leave you two to the girl talk then" Freddie said picking up his backpack and making his escape
"So…" Carly strung out
"Well?" Sam asked
"Ok so long story short me and Freddie confessed our undying love for each other and got together" Carly said hurriedly
"Wait what?" Sam said unable to process the information she was receiving
"Me and Freddie are a couple now" Carly rephrased
"And when did this happen?" Sam asked incredulously
"Yesterday. I would have told you then but you had chizz to do"
"I'm sorry but I don't get it, you've rejected that nub since forever and now out of nowhere you're together?" Sam said giving Carly a skeptical look
"Yeah I know but I always liked Freddie I just didn't want to ruin our friendship" Carly said in as best genuine voice as she could muster
"I- I don't know Carls, are you sure that's it?" Sam asked not sure if it wasn't her wishing it wasn't or a feeling Carly had another motive behind her relationship with Freddie.
"Of course I'm sure Sam" Carly said brushing off Sam's question.
….
….
….
"Hey I got to get to class, we'll talk about this later I need some time to process this" Sam said walking away from Carly
Carly watched Sam walk away her smile growing with every step Sam took away from her. After walking in on Sam and Freddie like that in Mr. Henning's class it had aroused something within her to claim Freddie as her own. Sam may have been in denial but Carly knew she liked Freddie more than she let on, every time Carly brought up the idea Sam would shoot it down and Carly felt now that Freddie was hers Sam had no right to him. Heading towards her next class Carly wondered what the ramifications of her actions earlier on would be.
Cafeteria
His hands were sweating profusely, looking down to his right hand intertwined with hers he found it a wonder why she hadn't removed hers from his or made a formal complaint about it. They were about to enter the cafeteria for the first time as a couple and Carly had insisted that he accompany her to her usual spot among her friends; "to show off her arm candy" she had said. He looked up to find her gazing at him with a slight smile playing her lips and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. She knew he was nervous and as Freddie met her eyes he gained resolution with a new found confidence, he was dating the girl of his dreams and would enjoy it as long as he could. Walking into the cafeteria immediately he could hear the whispers of his name, Carly's name or both their names in the same sentence, with Carly setting the pace they reached her table in a short time. He watched as Carly found her seat in the sea of girls seated at her table, whom were all staring up at him with rather large smiles with the exception of Sam who sneered at him.
"Ladies" Freddie greeted after dropping a quick kiss on Carly's cheek and making his escape
Making his way to his fellow Av club members Freddie felt relief wash over him, with the Av club members he felt at home and despite Sam's banter about them being losers he thought they were quite cool...relatively speaking. By the time he sat down all conversation around the table had died and all eyes were transfixed on him.
"Well?" Shane said with a smirk being the first to voice his curiosity
"Well what?" Freddie feigned ignorance
"Finally wore her down till she said yes huh" Gibby chipped in
Freddie suppressed a scowl at Gibby's comment "So did anyone catch Caprica last night" Freddie said trying steer clear of the subject
"You can't seriously be trying to change the subject right now, come on Freddie spill" Shane continued to prod
"*sigh* there's really nothing to tell guys, Carly thought to give us a try and here we are" Freddie said nonchalantly
"That's it?" Gibby asked slightly surprised
"More or less...yeah, what did you expect?" Freddie said turning to Gibby, who was exhibiting signs of slight jealousy
"I don't know, maybe something corny straight out of the movies" Gibby said
"Really" Freddie asked
"It does seem more you're style" Shane added
"Fine whatever lets just change the subject" Freddie said in exasperated tone
"What? And drop such an interesting topic, no not yet" Shane said with a chuckle "So when did this happen?" he continued
"Yesterday"
"And what happened after?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean"
"No I don't" Freddie said getting up and making to leave
"Fine I'll respect your privacy" Shane said with a shrug watching Freddie make to leave "So I guess you're going to the party now?"
"Nope" Freddie said returning to his seat as the topic was changed
"I thought Carly and Sam were going" Gibby said some what confused
"I don't know about Sam but yeah Carly seems to want to go"
"And you aren't?" Shane asked with a skeptical look
"Just because Carly's going doesn't mean I should"
"Yes it does" Shane and Gibby said simultaneously
"And why would that be?" Freddie asked in a weary voice
"In case you haven't noticed Carly is smoking hot and they'll be a lot of guys there looking to score, add that to an absentee new found boyfriend and the next time you see her she won't be your woman" Gibby explained
Freddie massaged his temples feeling a headache coming on, He hadn't thought about that and now that it was out there he could feel insecurity making it way into him, with a sigh Freddie muttered a quick goodbye to his friends and exited the cafeteria needing to get away from them before they concocted anymore inane ideas into his head. He could just chuck it up to Gibby and Shane trying to self destruct his relationship but even still he couldn't help feeling there was some truth to what they had said. Being with Carly felt amazing and with the situation with his mother he needed someone to take his mind of the issue and so far Carly was keeping him better than ok. He felt slightly guilty for that, feeling like he was using Carly just to avoid his problems because he couldn't really tell how he felt about Carly, being with her made it easier to deal with things but was that the only reason he was with her?. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't answer that question, partly because he was afraid the answer wouldn't be the one he was looking for.
Puckett Residence
Sam was in a daze as she handed her best friend one of her mother's morning after pills, she wasn't worried that her mother would find out as she had loads more stashed somewhere. Sam unconsciously grit her teeth as a sense of betrayal kicked her in the gut, she had no right to feel this way about her friend but she did, though for the sake of their friendship she would bury it. She had been coming to terms with Freddie and Carly being together but them having sex was another thing entirely, as Carly had droned on about her experience with "her Freddie" Sam could feel her stomach churn and had to give it her all to keep the bile from rising up her throat. Sam smiled and responded to Carly as well as she could after Carly told her about her first time and explaining the need for the pills as they did not use protection in their moment of carnal passion. She gave Carly the pills and subtly ushered her out of the house stating that her mother would be home soon and she didn't want her to be around when she did, that earned her a sympathy look from Carly but it was worth getting her out of there.
After she was sure Carly was gone she let her mask fall and her face was quick to show the inner turmoil she was having, she lightly padded up the stairs to her room and threw herself on her bed letting it swallow her. Facedown on her pillow Sam let out a muffled sob, she didn't understand why she was crying and didn't want to and so she silently let the tears pour out of her eyes for what seemed like hours until she finally ran out. Getting up from her prone position on the bed Carly's voice rang through her head as she described Freddie touches and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't shut the voices out, finally her thoughts of Freddie and Carly proving too much for her; she made a dash for the bathroom and letting what little contents she had in her stomach be wrenched out into the toilet. Feeling like she was about to pass out Sam felt a pair of hands gently run from her neck to the back of her head collecting her gold locks and holding them away from her face. She tried to look back to find the source but the gagging kept her in place, one hand moved away from her hairs and started rubbing her back and Sam felt herself calm at the comfort.
"Are you Ok honey?" Pam Puckett cooed to her daughter
"I-I'm Ok thanks mom, must be something I ate" Sam said pushing away from the toilet getting off her knees and sitting on the floor gazed up at her mother
'She's sober' was the first thought that came to Sam's mind, bringing a smile to her face. When her mother was sober she was a great mother maybe not the best but the best Sam could hope for from her mother. It was rare to have a moment with when she was sober these days, though Sam didn't blame her. After her father left those many years ago the woman was never the same. The divorce had left Pam a broken and weak person and though she masked it well with all the alcohol and men she slept with Sam knew she was still hurting over the divorce. With her father gone Sam realized a long time ago that she had to be strong; never weak as she had to take care of her mother and sister and for years she had remained the glue of her broken family though sometimes in days like these she didn't mind to be taken care off.
Pam gave a small chuckle and helped Sam up to her feet "You need to start watching what you're eating then"
"I'll do my best" Sam spoke softly as she was led to her room
Sam was feeling rather weak from all the days' events and entered her bed longingly; Pam sat at Sam's bedside and brushed some of her golden locks away from her face before giving her a small kiss on the forehead.
"Hey Sam"
"Hm..." Sam responded already losing consciousness
"Momma loves you" She croaked out
"Love you too…" Sam said in a fleeting voice as she lost consciousness
Pam watched her daughter sleep with tears streaming down her own face, using her right hand to muffle the sounds of her sobs from escaping; Pam wept.
T.B.C
A.N: Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.
3ohE