Chapter 12

Love-….

Note: The chapter is a bit short but it's better than nothing I hope. If you reviewed thank you, and Julefor hope you like the shower scene.

"Hey" Freddie returned uncertainly looking from one girl to the other.

Those were the only words spoken between the three as eyes met each other and speech fell away form their lips. Looking from Carly's shy expression to Sam's anxious expression Freddie decided he would wait for them to speak first as he wasn't sure if what he would say might set off a bad reaction.

"So you look better than the last time I saw you" Sam said finally breaking the silence though hating that it came out ruder than she had meant it, but as far as she could see Freddie didn't notice or just didn't care.

"Her first words to me since she beat me within an inch of my life, you believe her?" Freddie said with a short chuckle as he tried to ease the tension in the room. That seemed to do the trick as Sam gave off a large sigh and let herself plop down on a seat near Freddie's bed while Carly opted to lean against the wall next to the door and facing Freddie straight ahead.

"So if you're here together like this I guess you two have made up and swapped stories" Freddie said quietly

"Yeah" Carly confirmed Freddie's suspicion

"So what now" Freddie asked laying back into his bed and staring up at the ceiling

"You tell us Freddie, time for you to share your side of the story" Sam said looking directly at him

"I have no story to tell" Freddie said lightly with a small smile not meeting Sam's eyes.

"The story where you tell us what's happening or happened between you and your mother"

Freddie visibly tensed as the words left Sammie's mouth but continued to look aimlessly at the ceiling yet his mind racing to find a solution to his current predicament. Freddie was not a person with the best of social skills but he knew ways to get around people when its needed, not that he had needed to in the past but now was a situation where manipulating his words to get out of a situation was not a last resort.

"I see so you came here to mock me further huh" Freddie said causing Carly to wince

"No we were just wondering because you've been acting strange and-"

"I've been acting strange?, your one to talk Carly one minute your fighting off my feeling for you with a stick the next you want me inside you" Freddie said bitterly meeting Carly's eyes for the briefest of moments noticing a slight blush on her face. He didn't mean it but he needed to derail the train that led to the conversation about his mother.

"Chill out Fredward were just trying to figure out what's-" Sam said trying to calm the situation down but was cut off.

"Ah lets not forget dear Sammie who almost killed me for reasons I'm still not clear on" Freddie said looking directly at Sam who fell silent and looked away unable to meet his eyes.

Sam grit her teeth as she felt her guilt revive itself and bubble in her chest, she had felt better since she told Carly what happened but now that she looked at the object of her guilt she just couldn't stand his eyes. Flashes of his swollen a bloody face flashed in her mind making her shut her eyes for the briefest moment as she blocked it out. For what felt like an eternity the trio stood none looking at another in silence before Freddie spoke again, this time in a gentler and calmer manner.

"These past months it's been seeming like all you two want to do is hurt me, which is why I didn't want you coming here yet I just wanted a little time so for the moment I'd really prefer it if you left me alone, then we can talk and sort everything out when I get out of here"

"When are they letting you out of here?" Carly asked quietly

"Mom said in a couple of days"

"Its funny I had a plan all thought out on what we'd do and what I'd say once we were in here but it seems all that crap just went to shit when we came in here" Sam said quietly not really talking to anyone in particular just thinking out loud perhaps.

"Yes it seems all the crap went to shit" Carly repeated with a giggle

"How did you guys get in here anyway" Freddie asked arching an eyebrow

"It doesn't matter right now, anyway I have something to say" Sam said getting up from the chair and moving towards Freddie until she was at his bedside.

"Okay" Freddie said uncertainly

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, I mean I'm not losing any sleep over it or anything but I just thought you needed to hear it" Sam hoped it didn't sound too emotional being one not to apologize often.

"Never held it against you, but thanks apology accepted" Freddie said with a small smile as he looked up at her.

"There you go again saying those kinds of things" Carly said with a huff.

"What?"

"She beat you up and you say you never held it against her, what's that supposed to mean"

"It means you guys are my friends and I know you would never intentionally hurt me"

That seemed enough for Carly as she gave him a slight smile but she knew it couldn't be that easy there were things that needed to be said before they could all hold hands and sing kumbaya but she didn't have the energy nor courage to say what needed to be said. She and Freddie had a brief relationship which came with sex, not to mention Sam had somewhat confessed her love for Freddie, all of this was clear in all their minds but none of them had the courage to open up that can of worms.

"So how are you feeling" Carly asked as she joined the two at Freddie's bedside opposite Sam.

"I feel nothing, with all the pain meds I took I'm surprised I'm not unconsciously drooling right now *chuckle*"

Silence filled the room once more as Freddie's chuckle died down into a sigh; the silence didn't seem to be minded though as both girls seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Freddie guessed they were wondering what to talk about now that he had steered the conversation away from what they had come to confront him about, though their visit was not expected or wanted he was glad they were here because truth be told he had missed them. Freddie wasn't sure when it happened as he himself had was lost in his own thoughts but both girls had their hands on his, he could feel Carly stroking his palm softly and Sam's hand feeling slightly moist making him smile unconsciously. The trio was so lost in their moment that none heard the approaching footsteps.

"I knew I'd seen that idiot from somewhere" Ellen said breaking them out of their Rivera.

Both girls tore their hands away and faced Ellen with nervous stares yet not entirely focusing on her, Carly's eyes flickered to Sam as she replayed Sam's hands on Freddie and though unconsciously Sam did the same. Looking at the site before her Ellen couldn't help but smile at how innocent it all seemed and decided she wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

"Visiting hours are over, I'll give you five minutes to say your goodbyes" Ellen said before moving out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

"Well I guess we should get going"

"Yeah" Carly affirmed softly as they both turned to look at Freddie

"Well I guess this is good night" Freddie stated

"Yeah, good night" Sam said as she bent down towards Freddie as if to give him a kiss, she stopped a few centimeters from his face. She cracked a grin a she saw Freddie take a nervous gulp, before Freddie could say a word Sam brought up her arm and raffled his hair before letting out a laugh.

"Thought I was going to kiss you didn't you" Sam said as she cackled in laughter

"N-no-" Freddie tried to refute but settled for a frown as Sam all but grinned at him.

"Goodnight Freddie…and I'm sorry" Carly said whispering the last part before giving him a peck (kiss) on the cheek

"Right, I'll see you in a couple of days"

"Oh by the way Spencer says his sorry for punching-" Carly was cut of as Freddie waved her off it.

The girls gave him one last glance before retreating the way they had come and silently left his room, Freddie felt slightly sad from their departure; things may have had a rocky start when they had come in but it was a lighter air at their last moments. For the first time since he had imagined going back to the plaza Freddie felt like things were going to be okay.

…..

..

.

Sam and Carly walked silently as Elle followed up behind them with a small smile as she escorted them outside the hospital premises, Ellen silently wondered if she had walked into a love triangle back there. Ellen laughed silently and bitterly as she thought you could call quadrangle not that either of these girls knew or could imagine of what Freddie has been through, Ellen ceased her thoughts as they came up to the entrance.

"Your Freddie's closest friend's right?" Ellen directed at both girls and got slow curious nods. "Well when he's released he's moving back to the plaza soon, so you two take care of him ok?"

"What do you mean take care of him?" Carly asked with a small frown

"Not sex if you thought that's what I meant"

"Oh… but still why would Freddie need us to take care of him, he's got his mother right?"

"Sometimes a mother's love can be a bit much, so you two spend as much time with him as you can ok?"

"A mother's can be a bit much? I-" Carly tried to follow up with a question but Ellen was already walking away.

Carly turned back to Sam and they silently made their way towards the rendezvous point they had agreed upon earlier.

Ridgeway High School

"So they finally let you see Freddie huh?" Shane asked as he took a bite of his sandwich

"I guess you could say that" Carly said with a small smile as she modestly took a bite of her own sandwich

"So how is he?!" Malika asked causing Shane to choke on his sandwich and simultaneously fall off his seat

"Look I love *cough* a magic trick a- *cough* as much as the next guy but you can't go springing into peoples conversations like that Malika!" Shane complained as he collected himself off the floor.

"I'm sorry but I was just teleporting by when I caught a bit of your conversation and I couldn't help myself"

"Nutt job" Gibby murmured

"Teleporting? That's your excuse for eavesdropping" Sam remarked with a snort.

"So how is he?"Malika continued ignoring Sam's comment

"He's fine, should be out in some days" Carly answered with an impartial dazed face instead of a frown which was what her mood dictated. Carly had apologized to Malika for what happened at groovy smoothie even though she never got an explanation for why they were together that day, but after what happened she just didn't care.

"That's great maybe we should throw him a welcome back party or something" Shane suggested.

"Yeah that's a great idea; after weeks all by himself in that hospital, seeing his friends might be the best medication for him"

Silence loomed over the group as they looked towards Sam and Carly for affirmation but both girls seemed to be in their own far of worlds. Taking a break from his lunch Gibby sighed and nudged Sam in the ribs breaking her from her trance.

"Wha- What?" Sam asked looking at the fixed stares.

"What's up with you two you've been this way since you got back yesterday?" Gibby questioned

"Oh it's nothing just a bit sleepy. So what was your idea?" Sam asked recovering from her daydreaming

"A welcome back party for Freddie"

"Sounds good, what do you think Carls?"

"That nurse did ask us to spend much time with him when he gets back so it's a great idea, I'll run it past his mother later"

"Since I'm coming over to hang and all I guess I'll go with you" Sam said meeting Carly eyes.

"Sure".

Seattle Medical Center

Marissa slowly made her way into the female nurses locker room, it had been a long day and all she wanted to do right now was to go home to her warm bed, crawl in and die in it. Ellen's good night last night had turned out to be nothing but a formal farewell as she hadn't acknowledged her when she greeted her when she arrived to begin her shift. It might have been a long shot but Marissa had hoped that yesterday's goodnight would be today's good morning and which would gradually revert to their old ways but she had indeed looked into the whole thing too much. She couldn't let go off the hope she held that one day Ellen would find a way to come to terms with what happened and find a way to forgive and be her friend again, because these days were the loneliest days she'd had in a long time.

Feeling tired and somewhat sticky Marissa headed for the showers to wash away the day's labor before going to see Freddie. After promptly removing her clothes Marissa picked a shower head furthest from the shower room entrance and gladly let the hot water rain over her naked body. Feeling relived instantly Marissa lost herself in the hot water caressing her body and for the first time in weeks she just let go.

"A hot shower is all the difference after these long days isn't it" Ellen commented watching Marissa's relaxed face.

"Uh-" breaking out of her daze Marissa was about to reply but thought better of it.

Broken out of her daze Marissa didn't enjoy the shower as much and that was enough to stop her dwindling so she began to cleanse her body of all the hospitals impurities she might have picked up.

"I read Freddie's file he was cleared to go home-" Ellen commented with a pause "three days ago…why haven't you taken him home"

"Just thought a few more days here wouldn't hurt"

"Do you expect me to buy that excuse?"

"I don't expect anything from you, you've made it clear where you and I stand" Marissa said as she worked on her hair, her back towards Ellen who had also started her own shower head.

"Well forgive me if my reaction to the shit you do in private wasn't joy, now quit avoiding my question" Ellen replied

"I'm not avoiding anything, you wouldn't accept any answer I gave you because I already know what you think and want to hear" Marissa returned.

"And what exactly might that be?"

"You think I'm going to fall back on my old ways as soon as I'm alone with him" Marissa said through gritted teeth feeling as though something was stuck in her chest.

"I won't deny it, its been running through my mind since Silberman told me to back off, but I get the feeling that I'm not entirely wrong"

"Screw you I'm tired of walking on egg shells around you, its either you take him away from me or just shut hell up about the situation, I'm his mother and I'll do whatever is good for him" Marissa returned with clenched fists as she turned to look Ellen in the eye.

"Hey I wish I didn't know about this mess but I just want to make sure you don't fuck your son again" Ellen said raising her voice to match Marissa's.

"I would never-"

"-What, never what? Fuck your son? Because you already have!" Ellen snapped

Marissa's body was moving before her brain had caught up; she lunged at Ellen with a fist cocked running full sprint. Ellen stunned by Marissa's sudden attack was glued to her spot and would have been on the receiving end of a fist but as Marissa neared she slipped sending her flying towards Ellen, causing her to tackle Ellen to the floor. Ellen released a gasp as her back made contact with the floor breaking her out of her trance, bringing arms up Ellen pushed Marissa's shaking body to the side before rolling over and straddling her wanting to relive her own furry and stress that had been building throughout this entire situation. Once on top of her Ellen felt all her anger leave her, she sighed as hot water pelted down on the two of them and even with the water raining on them Ellen could see the tears as they streamed out of Marissa's eyes.

"You don't know how its like to love your son so much and all you want to do is protect him from all that could do him harm in this world….but what do you do when you are the problem. You want to know why? Why I haven't taken him home." Marissa asked in a cracking shaky voice.

Ellen could only nod as she stared down at Marissa feeling trapped in a hopeless situation, for once as she looked down at Marissa she saw a broken and helpless woman she was instead of the sick desperate cry baby who wanted too keep her toy, which is all she had seen since she had taken Freddie from her the day she had walked in on them.

"I'm scared, I'm so scared I don't know what to do anymore, I can't even touch him without him flinching or tensing up. I'm afraid I might do it to him again, what if I can't stop myself Ellen?" Marissa said looking away and no longer trying to hold back her emotions as she let her voice accompany her tears.

Feeling just as defeated as Marissa, Ellen got off her and plopped down next to Marissa her eyes unfocused and in a daze. Ellen looked to her side where Marissa was now in a fetal position still crying, Ellen brought her arms around Marissa and gently lifted her up too look at her.

"I'm sorry, I guess I've also had trouble dealing with this and you were my only exit hole. Whatever happens I'll be here to help you through it" Ellen said with a sad smile.

Marissa wasn't sure what had changed but right now feeling as vulnerable as she did, she just didn't care. With a sad smile of her own Marissa got up and embraced Ellen but continued to cry into her shoulder. Ellen held Marissa as best she could and prayed that no one walked into the shower, but luck didn't seem to be on her side as paranoid Mandy walked into the shower. Ellen sighed as the girls eyes went wide as saucers.

"Oh, uh I'll come back later" Mandy said before making a curt exit.

Marissa's tears had left and she was sniffling as she gave a mental sigh when she looked for the source for the new voice and she saw a toweled Mandy made an abrupt exit.

"Great, as if they didn't think we were a Lesbian couple enough as is." Ellen said with a sigh

There was a brief silence which was broken by Marissa's giggles.

"What's so funny?" Ellen asked raising an eyebrow at the naked woman in her arms.

"Well we aren't exactly giving them any evidence against it now are we, two single women in their 40s sitting in the showers naked in each others arms" Marissa spoke in-between laughs.

Xx

Mandy was sitting down next to her locker in deep thought over what she just saw but her bewilderment was broken as she heard both Ellen and Marissa's laughs coming from the showers. She sighed deciding to go take a shower at home than risk entering the shower room again with those two lunatics in there.

T.B.C

A.N: Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE