So this is a pretty long one for me! It just kept on going! I've had a bit of writers block lately but I hope I'm finally getting over it.

I hope you enjoy!

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Alex had headed straight to her bunk after her odd encounter with Lily. The woman's words were throwing themselves around in her head, slamming against her brain and causing her heart to jump erratically.

"No, no. Nobody in here".

She knew someone. She knew someone on the outside and Alex knew that not a single person that she was connected with out there was worth an ounce of good. There was only one person in her life who had a good bone in her and she was already on the inside with her. Trying to calm herself a little, Alex took a deep breath. So what did this mean? Did the new girl have something to tell her? Have it in for her? Alex had never felt like she could relax in Litchfield, but there hadn't really been a time when she had had to watch her back wherever she went. Now? She could already feel herself scouting out the dorm room, noting who was sat in their bunks and who was missing. She wasn't sure what way Lily was going to come after her, but she was almost certain that she would.

And she'd be damned if she just sat back and let her.

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Pipers eyes skitted across the book titles in front of her but she wasn't reading them. Her mind was working a mile a minute and her plan to find a book to distract her from her imagination was failing more and more by the second. She's already passed Poussey three times and hadn't noticed the concerned and confused looks that had been shot her way. Poussey hadn't seen the blankness in Pipers eyes as she walked by her, her finger trailing loosely over the book spines as she slowly made her way down the aisles.

Alex and Nicky.

Together.

She wasn't stupid. She knew that something had gone on between the two before Christmas. Even before that, she had always panicked slightly about the chemistry that sparked and fizzled between them. Nicky reminded her of every mule that Alex had ever picked up; hardened but with that soft edge that made her irresistible. Alex had never been unfaithful to Piper, of that she was sure, and Piper had trusted her completely, knowing that she would never cheat on her. But in the back of her mind, dancing right on the edge with the vicious thoughts that she tossed away, there was always the idea waving at her. Would she cheat on her if she had the chance? Had she ever entertained the idea? They had had an incredibly tumultuous relationship and when it was good, it was like nothing else. But when it was bad? What about those times?

Nicky was the threat that Piper had always felt but did her hardest not to acknowledge. She watched as the relationship grew between the two until Piper and Alex had broken and before she knew it, the friendship changed and her imaginings became reality. And Piper had been okay with it. She had chosen Larry and thrown Alex aside in favour of safety and 'the right thing'. She knew Alex. Of course she was going to retaliate, lash out and hurt Piper in any way that she could. Of course that way would be Nicky Nichols. Alex knew as well as Piper did that Nickys character fitted the perfect profile of 'threat'. Piper had hurt Alex so badly, and she had accepted the consequences. Had come to terms with their Christmas antics and moved on.

She had thought that they had started to rebuild their relationship and that they were slowly, brick by brick, beginning to patch up the gaping battle wounds they had caused each other. They had been talking again and there had been times when she had actually thought they were, what, friends? That they were on track at least. That all they needed was time. But she had never, not once, thought that all along there had been someone else. She had thought that she would always be the one that Alex wanted and all the other women were fill ins, rebounds, disposable. She had thought that no matter what, it would be her that Alex came back to and wanted.

Realisation tricked over Piper like a swarm of spiders crawling down her back. She saw exactly what Alex saw in that moment. She was selfish. She was so sure that no matter what happened between them, how badly Piper treated Alex, she would always want her. Piper would always be the one that she wanted. She would always come back to her in the end. She was so sure that she was the only one for Alex that she had convinced herself that no matter how carelessly Piper handled her heart, Alex would give it back to her. But this time…

She wasn't so sure.

In her minds eye, she could see Nicky and Alex together. In the shower, chapel, store cupboards, laundry room, beds. The pair were perfectly matched in wit and deviousness and Piper was sure that there would never be a time they were in want of a dark corner. But it wasn't just the sex that tormented Piper as she finally settled between the library shelves without a book and pulled her knees up to her chest. She could see them sat together in their bunks, laughing and sparring, throwing insults and jibes at each other. Developing 'in' jokes and spending their free time together. The thought made Piper feel physically sick. Alex was hers god fucking dammit.

"What're you doing down there, Chapman?"

Piper sighed. Shrugging her shoulders slightly, she looked up to Lily.

"Just… got lost in my thoughts I guess." Lily nodded in understanding.

"I've found I think way more than I used to in here, you know? There's not much else to do. It's like every bad thought I've ever hidden away has come out to play" she let out a small huff of laughter before waving her hand to the space next to Piper. "May I…?" Piper nodded, her eyes still fixed on her bent knees. Lilys smile of thanks went unnoticed as she slid down next to Piper.

"I meant what I said earlier. You can talk to me any time you want to. It might be good for you to be able to talk to someone who doesn't know you as well as the others in here do. I don't know a lot of what's gone on before I got here. I'm like a blank page, if you like". Piper thought about it for a moment. She supposed the girl was right. Everyone in here already had her and Alex marked as a fucked up pair that were probably better off without each other. All they ever caused was drama and lord knows they were probably right. Looking up to Lily, Piper offered her a small smile and a nod.

"Thanks, Lily. That's sweet of you, but I'd rather not talk about it at the moment. But I'll bare it in mind" Lily nodded in understanding. "How are you coping, anyway?" She looked into the wide eyes of the new girl and saw herself staring straight back. She had spent so long playing the lost little girl game that she hadn't realised that if you focus on the game, you'll be able to play perfectly well. Keep your head down and you'll be absolutely fine. Piper laughed internally. Keeping her head down? It was something that she had never been very good at.

"I'm doing alright, I suppose. It's hard sometimes. Everyone already has such strong connections and it can be hard to find friends, you know? Noone really seems to want to talk to me. I've tried so hard to talk to people and they all just seem to walk away from me. They don't want to know". Piper tried to hide the slight frown on her face. If there was one thing that had struck her when she moved into the Litch, it was how welcoming the women had been. If she hadn't of offended Red straight away (god, she was so fucking stupid) she would have had a ready made family. Morello and Nicky had been more than happy to sit with her and make her feel at home, as had Yoga Jones and the Sister. Hell, even the ghetto girls had spent time with her until she settled in. So it struck her as odd that the new girl hadn't received the same treatment. And….hadn't she seen her spending time with Morello just the other day? And she was certain she had also seen Sister Ingalls reading with her in the library.

"I think in here you just have to make sure you don't step on anybody's toes" Piper offered. Lily nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek, apparently debating to say something. Piper waited patiently.

"I think it's just…. Like, I think I may have pissed someone off. That's the only thing I can think of. She doesn't like me and it seems like she's made sure noone else does, either"

"Who?" Lilys huge blue eyes met Pipers and she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, stalling for a second.

"Alex. She just… I just don't think she likes me" the girl trailed off. It took everything in Piper not to roll her eyes. The fucking woman. Even when she was trying to escape her, there was no real way of getting away from Alex Vause.

"Well…I doubt she had any reason to dislike you, Lily. You might just be imagining things? Alex isn't particularly quiet about hatred for someone if she takes a disliking to them and I've not seen anything to suggest she – "

"She doesn't like me, okay Piper?" Lily interrupted, her tone harsher than Piper expected it to be. The sudden outburst took her back a bit and there was a moment of silence as Lily ran a hand through her long hair and took a deep breath. "I just know it".

"Lily, why don't you just try and stay away from her? Avoid her like the plague. Alex can be trouble, anyway. She's not someone you want to get close to. Just steer clear and you'll be fine. She won't come for you if you don't come for her. Trust me."

"You don't think she's a good person?" Lily asked quietly. Piper paused, thinking about the question. Alex? A good person? Of course she was. She was the best fucking person when she wanted to be. She could be the only person that you needed, giving you everything that you could ever wish for and more, making sure that you never wanted for anything, physically or emotionally. She knew whatever it was you needed to hear and just sitting and talking through things with her could make you feel like your biggest worries were completely irrational and everything was going to be okay. And you truly believed it. How could you not? But at the same time, she was the same woman who lulled you into false sense of rightness. Made you think that things were okay, your life was plodding along quite nicely, thank you very much. And then? Then she'd smash it all in with a few words. "Would you be up for a trip to Istanbul this weekend?". "You are never to come to me again". Pipers lips quirked into a sad smile.

"Honestly, I don't know" she answered carefully. Lily looked at Piper for a moment and then nodded slowly.

"Thanks, Chapman. It was nice to hear your thoughts. You've been really helpful. And hey, remember what I told you. Anytime you need to talk". The younger woman got to her feet and waited for Piper to acknowledge her words before she gave a small wave.

"I best be off. I'll see you later?" Piper nodded and watched Lilys back as she made her way out of the library. God, that girl. Piper wasn't sure what to make of her. She seemed nice enough but there was something beneath that pretty, innocent exterior that bothered Piper. She was sure that there was something else to her, but she just couldn't figure out what it was.

"Well, that was interesting" a voice interrupted Pipers silence once more. Turning to her left, Piper saw the tall figure of Alex.

"What was?" she asked coldly.

"You don't think I'm a good person" Alex replied, her voice emotionless and an eyebrow raised in question. Piper scoffed slightly, averting her eyes down to the ground.

"I didn't say that"

"Close enough". The response came quickly and Piper knew Alex well enough to know that she was none too pleased. Piper looked up at Alex again, who had made her way over to where Piper sat, towering above her with her arms crossed over her.

"Yeah well, you're not a good fucking person are you" Piper spat. This seemed to shock Alex into silence for a moment before she sank down and took a seat opposite Piper, her long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles right beside her, almost touching her.

"And pray, tell. What is it I've done deserve that shit label?" Piper met Alex's eyes, her stare cold and intense, jaw clenched. She tried to find the right words. She'd planned to put off this conversation for a while but it appeared that they were having it now. Fine.

"When were you going to tell me you were still fucking Nicky?" she hissed. Alex's expression didn't change at all. Instead, she just stared at her blankly for a moment. And then;

"Shit"

"Yeah, 'shit'".

"Okay, so you know –"

"Yeah I fucking know, Alex. When were you going to tell me!?" she repeated.

"Soon. Okay, Piper. It's nothing". Piper rolled her eyes dramatically, looking away from Alex and down at her nails, her teeth grinding. "No, don't do that to me. Don't give me that look. Nicky and I… we're nothing, alright. She knows that and I know it. It's sex. We fuck and then we have dinner and then we go to bed. Nothing."

"Are you telling me Nicky Nichols, who fucks her way through prison like a knife goes through butter has come off of the women and bangs only you and that's nothing?" Piper couldn't help but see the small suppressed smirk that was on Alex's lips. "Why the fuck are you laughing at me?!" she almost yelled, anger bubbling in her stomach.

"Who the fuck says 'bang' anymore, Pipes?" Alex asked, her voice laced with humour and her head tipped to one side.

"Alex, I swear to fucking god –"

"No, no. I'm sorry! Okay, okay. I was surprised as you were when I heard that! We talked about it in length. We were just supposed to be some fun. She'd lost Lorna and I'd lost you. It was two people with nothing else. I promise. When have I ever lied to you, Pipes?" Piper raised her eyebrows in a "are you fucking kidding me" kind of way and Alex immediately held up the palms of her hands in a surrendering motion. "Okay. I can't use that anymore. Got it. Got it. But I'm not lying to you Piper. Nichols is a great fuck but we're done. I told her as soon as I realised she thought we might have been something more. She's… well she's fucking pissed about it to be honest, but she'll get over it. I don't want a fucking prison wife". Alex visibly shivered at the idea.

"Why didn't you just tell me, Alex" Piper asked, this time her voice softer and more emotional. She would have understood… would she have understood? Would it have done any good? Probably not. Every time she saw the pair together she would have thought about them being together, kissing, feeling each other's bodies. The thought made her stomach churn.

"I guess I was still pissed. Every time was like a giant 'fuck you, Piper'. If you were gonna have Larry, I was gonna have someone too."

"I'm not with Larry anymore"

"I'm not with Nicky anymore" Alex retorted, her shoulders lifting and falling in a shrug. Piper inspected a nail for a moment.

"It felt like you were cheating on me" she eventually whispered. And it had. Hearing Nicky say she was with Alex was like Alex had been sleeping with someone else whilst with Piper and yet, they weren't together. They hadn't been for what seemed like forever.

"I know" Alex replied, her voice almost inaudible. The sadness in it made Piper raise her head and look over at the woman. Gone was the smugness that Piper was so used to. It was like looking at the Alex that she knew before they both landed in this rotten place. The Alex with all the stress and the worry and the sadness but none of the barriers.

"I don't even have the right to be annoyed. I know that. I know that you should be way angrier at me for Larry but I can't help it. I mean, Nicky". Piper shook her head and bit the inside of her cheek, letting out a small sigh.

"I know. She's exactly the type you used to be so worried about. I knew that. I think that's part of why I did it". Piper almost laughed. Of course Alex knew her past worries about the mules and the type of person she thought would take her away.

"She would have been perfect" Piper smiled sadly. Alex let out a small snort of laughter and nodded slightly.

Silence surrounded the pair as they sat quietly on the library floor. In the time Piper had been there, women had come and gone and the library was nearly empty now, inmates deciding to head back to their blocks or the rec room.

"We're fucked, aren't we" Alex eventually said. It wasn't a question. Neither of them needed an answer to it. Piper simply nodded.

"Bigger and better than I ever thought possible"

"What're we going to do?" Alex asked. Piper pulled the side of her mouth in in an unsure way.

"I don't know, Al. I really don't fucking know." Alex shifted over, moving so she was sat beside Piper instead of opposite her. Looking at Piper as if to ask if it was okay that she was sat there, she remained there when she didn't receive an immediate 'fuck off'. Nudging Pipers shoulder with her own, Alex managed to pull out a tight smile from Pipers lips.

"Oh. Oh shit… I think I saw… was that? No. It couldn't have been.. Oh there it is again!" Alex gasped dramatically as she saw the smile grow a little bigger at her ridiculous behaviour. "Hang on, let me just –" Alex mimed hooking a piece of string to the corner of Pipers lips and pulled. "It's coming. It's coooming…There it is!" she grinned as she saw Piper finally fully smiling despite herself.

"Fuck you, Alex" Piper told her, bumping her away from her with her shoulder hard. Alex laughed and then dropped her head back against the bookshelf, serious once more but with the awkward, stifling atmosphere broken for now.

"We'll be alright, won't be?" Piper asked, her voice heavily laden with concern. She turned her head to look directly at Alex beside her. It was a genuine question and Alex could hear the worry. Alex didn't answer immediately, instead taking a deep breath and then sighing heavily. Tutting, she lifted her arm and wrapped it around Piper, knocking her head down to rest on her shoulder.

"Of course we will, Kid"

And she prayed to fucking god that they would be.

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There we go! Please let me know what you think of the developments in this chapter if you have a moment!

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