Erin climbed up on the couch to sit next to Hawkeye, settling right up against him, as though her name was B.J. "Do you have to go home tomorrow, Hawkeye?"
Vacation time was up. The 10 days had flown by. He did indeed have to go home. "Sorry, honey… yes, I do."
"Are you going to come back sometime?"
"Of course. Don't I always?" He curled an arm around her shoulders. "We see each other a lot, don't we?"
She shrugged. At her age, there was no concept of time and frequency.
"Well, we do. I can't go very long without seeing Erin Hunnicutt, it would turn me into a monster." To demonstrate what kind of monster, he growled and stomped his feet a few times and spread his fingers to give the impression of claws. She laughed at his antics. "So don't you worry. I will see you again soon, either here or maybe you'll come with your daddy to visit me in Maine. OK?"
"OK." She swung her legs back and forth, a little kid filled with nervous energy. Hawkeye loved her… he loved everything about her. Impulsively he leaned over and gave her a big kiss on the cheek.
"Erin," B.J. said, having suddenly appeared in the doorway, "time for bed. Mommy's there, waiting to tuck you in. You'll see Hawkeye tomorrow before he leaves for the airport, I promise."
"OK, Daddy." She hugged Hawkeye before climbing off the couch, then hugged her daddy on her way to her room. "Night-night!"
B.J. watched her go, then turned his attention back to Hawkeye, who patted the couch next to him. B.J. laughed and said playfully: "Am I gonna get a kiss too?"
"Only if you let me use tongue," Hawkeye cracked.
B.J. ambled over, taking a seat next to his friend and turning serious. "Are you gonna be all right, Hawk? I honestly can't tell. Has anything changed?"
"I think so," Hawkeye said. "My attitude has changed—I'm going to stop being an asshole and wallowing in self-pity, if that's what I was doing. I'm not sure what I was doing. But I can't let my dad down again. I won't."
"Good. Glad to hear it." A brief pause. "But if you need to talk, or if you need to come out here again, call me. I'm always here for you."
"I know, Beej. You're the best friend a guy could ever have." He pulled B.J. into his arms, and what the hell—he did indeed plant a sloppy kiss on B.J.'s cheek. He deserved it.
When he waved goodbye to B.J., Peg and Erin the next day at the airport, the sense of loss he felt was nearly overwhelming. But Crabapple Cove was his home, and he had a life—such as it was—to get back to.
Two weeks to the day that his father had kicked him out of the office on a forced vacation, Hawkeye was back at their practice, rested and very much ready to work again. He hadn't gotten drunk in the entire two weeks—he'd done very little drinking at B.J.'s house, a beer here, a glass of wine there. Since his return to Crabapple Cove, he hadn't even touched any of the alcohol in his apartment and hadn't been to any bars. He wasn't swearing off booze entirely, he didn't see any need to do that. But he had made up his mind to take a break from it, to show his dad—and himself—that he could be reliable and conscientious.
Time to get his act together.
He stood before Daniel in their office on his first morning back and said, "You were smart, to make me take that time off. It was good for me. I won't let you down again."
His dad must've seen the resolve in his son's expression. "I know you won't, son. I'm sorry if I seemed… harsh. I know things have been tough for you lately."
Hawkeye embraced his dad, clapping him on the back. "You absolutely did the right thing. You need a partner you can depend on, and I was screwing up."
"Welcome back, Hawkeye." Daniel gestured in the direction of the waiting room. "Now let's get Crabapple Cove well, shall we?"