Anger boiled hot inside the Doctor as he marched back toward the TARDIS. The surrounding scenery should have been something to stop and stare at, something to admire. But the Doctor was so angry he couldn't pay attention to the bright green trees that lined the stone path and the sun that filtered through the branches and made patterns everywhere. All he could focus on was who those patterns fell on. Clara walked in front of him, hanging her head and staring at her feet as she walked. Occasionally she would glance back over her shoulder, just barely taking a glimpse of him behind her before she turned back around and began to walk faster. The way she held herself made it obvious that she knew how displeased he was with her.
And she well should be; he didn't know what she had been thinking. Clara had been traveling with him long enough now, had been marked enough by him that she knew not to defy him. Or at least he had thought that she had learned that by now. Her actions today showed that she had not learned to fear him the way that she needed to. He had given her a direct order and she had done the complete opposite. When danger had been surrounding them, he had told her to get out. He told her to do what they did best and run; she, however, had entered the hospital they'd been working at. As it burned, she had run back in to help those that were still inside. He had known that she wanted to and that's why he'd ordered her to leave. It was simply too dangerous; but she had decided to not listen to him.
Clara hung her head as she walked in front of the Doctor. He was mad, very mad and she could feel it. She kept glancing back at him as if she expected to see something other than pure fury on his face; that was a vain hope. When the Doctor got this angry he didn't come back; not until he'd inflicted some pain. Clara crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her feet as the worry began to rise in her. She knew she would pay for this and normally she didn't try the Doctor's anger. But this time she hadn't been able to resist. As she had ran out of the building she had heard the screams of the children that were still trapped inside. She couldn't walk out of the building and leave them behind to burn. So often now it seemed that they left people behind; Clara could still remember a time when the Doctor had vowed that 'we don't leave anyone behind' but now it seemed commonplace. This time, hovered, she simply couldn't do it no matter how she suffered for it later. Though the Doctor could leave innocent people behind to die and not seemed phased by it, she could not. She had enough demons in her head that she didn't need to add any more to it today.
Clara could see the TARDIS, gleaming blue in the shining light and felt her heart sink. There was a time that she would have seen the TARDIS as a welcome sight; now was not that time. She knew nothing good was going to happen when they got inside the TARDIS; he never hit her where anyone else could see.
The Doctor was shaking with anger as he saw the TARDIS came into view. Clara hesitated in front of him, her hand stuck on the door. She was no doubt trying to delay the inevitable and he didn't appreciate it. He grabbed her by the arm with one hand and pushed the door open with the other, pushing Clara inside. She stumbled in through the door and turned around to look at him. There was a hint of fear on her face but not the normal amount distress that he saw. There was something else there; determination. Not only had she directly disobeyed something he had ordered her to do, she was not sorry about it. He'd have to make sure she soon felt differently.
"Clara…..what were you thinking?!" the Doctor asked, turning angrily towards her. "I told you to leave that hospital and you directly disobeyed me. Why?"
Clara looked back at the Doctor, trying to face him with firmness; she knew what she had done was right whether he approved of it or not. "There were kids in there, Doctor. I could hear them screaming for help. I couldn't just leave them" she said, her voice strong but shaking slightly at the end.
The Doctor scowled at her, clearly angry. "Yes you could because I told you to" he said, his own voice shaking but for a different reason. He crossed the small space between the two of them and grabbed Clara on the wrist, holding onto her hard. "When I tell you to do something, you better do it" He looked into Clara's eyes, his own as hard as his cold voice. She knew he was serious; she'd learned that lesson before. But that didn't mean she was going to back down either. She knew she'd done the right thing.
"I wasn't going to let those kids die" she said, her voice rising with conflict, looking up his angry eyes. Her voice was louder and more defiant than she had used in a good while and she didn't care what he thought. "This time you were wrong"
Clara was not surprised when she felt the Doctor's hand connect with her face. Her cheek stung hot where he'd slapped her but she resisted the urge to scream. Feeling an uncharacteristic burst of fight in her Clara tried to pull away from the Doctor and storm out of the room before he could hit her again. But the hold that he had on her wrist was so tight that she couldn't break free. As she turned around to run from the room, the Doctor gripped her wrist and wrenched her back hard. She felt something snap painfully in her wrist and felt it hang loosely in his hand, tears coming to her eyes as she screamed, the pain too much to hold in. Her wrist was on fire and she whimpered in pain but he didn't let go. Tears blurred her eyes as he looked up into his eyes, afraid of what she might see. Darkness clouded the Doctor's eyes but there was something else there, something that wasn't normally there.
"I was not wrong" He said, his voice shaking in rage. "The situation was too dangerous…you could have died. The main responsibility, my main responsibility, was getting you out. Everything else was irrelevant. When I tell you to do something, it's important" He gave her a hard look as he let go of her aching wrist and pushed her away from him. He turned his back to her and though she felt like she should stay, the fearful part of her took off toward her room, holding her most likely broken wrist to her chest.
The Doctor shook with anger as Clara bolted from the room; stupid, childish selfish girl! Didn't she have even the faintest idea of why he did what he did? He didn't make up rules simply for his own gain. He did it all for her, to protect her and she had to be so selfish as to completely disregard that and go back into the building when it could have meant her death. The Doctor raked his hands through his hair, sighing as his anger melted away into something else. Fear; he'd been fearful today and that was not a feeling he was happy with experiencing. It had seemed like years from the time Clara had run back into the burning building to the time that she had come back out, several children trailing behind her and a baby in her arms. There was a time that it would have sent a shiver of pride through him to see it, but this time it simply made him mad. He was angry at her for making him feel such fear and completely ignoring what he told her.
The Doctor paced around the room, feeling angry and upset and a whole mess of other things he couldn't identify. He didn't know what to do with all of these feelings and he found himself marching down the hallway toward Clara's room. Without any pretense he opened the door and walked in. Clara was sitting on the bed and she jumped slightly when he barged in. He saw her flinch, holding her wrist with her other hand. Good; now she was showing some proper fear. Maybe she had realized what was wrong with what she had done.
Clara felt a tremor of fear run through her when the Doctor barged through her door. His face was angry and she still saw fire in his eyes. She had hoped that he was done but it was obvious that he wasn't. Clara cradled her wrist to chest; it was swollen and extremely painful. She forced herself to not look as weak as she felt. She still was firm in the belief that what she had done was right but if the Doctor was back for more punishment then this wasn't not going to be pleasant.
"Doctor? What is it?" she asked, her voice mostly steady as she looked up at the Doctor.
He narrowed his eyes down at Clara before moving over to her quickly. He wrenched her broken wrist away from her, taking his in his hand, earning a gasp of pain from Clara. "I'm angry at you, Clara…very angry" he said, pulling her by the wrist, watching the tears pool in her eyes. "You didn't listen to me and it could have gotten you killed! Don't you bloody know that? You forced me to stand outside that hospital and be fearful and I hate that. Don't ever do that again…..you ever do that to me again and I can guarantee it will be the last time. You understand?" he asked, his voice hard and commanding, his strong hold still on her wrist.
The pain in Clara's wrist was almost unbearable but she couldn't help but feel some hope at the Doctor's words. So this was the real issue here; yes, maybe he was upset that she hadn't obeyed him, but the real issue was he was scared. She had scared him by running into a fire; and if he was scared that meant he cared about her. Even though he had a tough, unbreakable outer shell now there was still two beating hearts inside that beautiful skinny time lord and some part of those hearts still cared about her.
But Clara wasn't going to say any of that; it might make him angrier. She didn't need him to say he cared about her; his words and her knowledge of what they meant was enough. "I understand" Clara said, looking into his eyes with regret. "I'm sorry I made you worry. And I'm sorry I did what you told me not to do"
The Doctor paused for a long time, but after an agonizing minuet, his face turned in a small smile. He let go of Clara's wrist and sat down on the bed across from her. He didn't say anything as he leaned forward and began to undo the buttons on her sweater. The Doctor could hear a small intake of breath from Clara.
"Shhh…" he said quietly, assuring her that this time there was nothing to worry about. He pulled the sweater gently off of her shoulders. He picked up her hand and examined her swollen and bruised wrist. He picked up his sonic and ran it gently across her wrist. Clara could feel the pain in her wrist lessen though it would still take some time to heal. The Doctor repaired what he could with the sonic and brought Clara's wrist to his lips. He placed a kiss to her injury as he looked up in her eyes. "I forgive you" he said, his angry voice gone and replaced with one more like the old him.