It was just one of their regular weekly calls, even though Hawkeye had just been out to Mill Valley for a visit. On the surface, nothing between the two best friends had changed. Hawkeye may have had an epiphany of his own, but the fact of the matter was B.J. still had never mentioned the kiss they'd shared. If he was questioning the nature of their relationship as Hawkeye was, he didn't give any indication.
"Did your partner keep all of the patients alive while you were gone?" B.J. asked with a smile in his voice.
"The kid's been terrific," Hawkeye said as Aphrodite serpentined through his legs. "He's my greatest discovery since I plucked a young, fresh-faced B.J. Hunnicutt out of obscurity and taught him everything he knows about surgery."
That got a full-throated laugh out of B.J., which was exactly what Hawkeye'd been going for. The sound of it made his heart beat a little faster. Speaking of that fresh face, Hawkeye pictured it now, the bright eyes and the blinding smile. He missed B.J. so much it hurt, and the hell of it was, he'd just seen him a few days ago.
"Erin wants to talk to you," B.J. was saying, and of course Hawkeye said yes.
Much rustling as the phone was transferred, then: "Hawkeye?"
"Hey, darlin'. How are you?"
"Hawkeye, my friend Debbie and I went roller skating today, did you ever roller skate? It was so much fun! And then her mom took us for ice cream, and while we were there? At the ice cream place? A man came in all scared, and we didn't know what was wrong, but he said there was a car accident and could the ice cream guy call for an ambulance, and then we went outside to see the accident, but Debbie's mom wouldn't let us see much." All of that came out in a rush, while Hawkeye made some "Oh?" and "Wow" noises when he could. "We stayed until the ambulance came but we still didn't see much." The part about not being able to see gore and blood was clearly disappointing to her.
"Well it sounds like you had an interesting day, Erin."
"When are you going to come visit again?" As with most kids, her change of gears was fast and without warning.
"I was just there," he reminded her. "I need to stay home for a while now, I've got patients who need me. And my dad, too."
"Oh."
"I miss you, though."
"I miss you too, Hawkeye. OK, here's Daddy."
Hawkeye smiled. The mercurial mind of a 7-year-old. B.J. came back on the line and Hawkeye almost told him about speaking with Sidney Freedman earlier in the day, but then he remember why he'd spoken to Sidney and he opted not to mention it.
They were nearing the end of their conversation when B.J. said, out of left field, "You're the best friend I've ever had, Hawkeye."
It gave Hawkeye pause, because of course he knew that already, and also because he didn't know why B.J. felt the need to say it. "I know, Beej," he said softly. "And right back at ya."
"I… well, I just wanted you to know."
"I already did know. But thanks."
The words were sweet and beautiful and of course Hawkeye knew they were heartfelt. But they hurt a little bit, too, because Hawkeye was falling in love, and it seemed clear that B.J. was never going to reciprocate.