Meet Zoro the Soldier:

[Cut to a BLU Pyro firing a blast of flame from its Flamethrower. The Pyro thrusts its weapon in the air and laughs triumphantly as a Sword slash heads towards it from off screen].

Pyro: [the sword slash hits Pyro, who is gibbed.] "Owh!"

[Cut to BLU Demoman taking a drink, also getting blown up by a slash from off screen.]

[Cut to BLU Heavy performing the Showdown taunt.]

Heavy: "Pow!" [Is hit by a crit slash and explodes]

[Cut to Zoro in a green soldier uniform and a dark green military helmet, drilling what appears to be a line of recruits on the Thousand Sunny.]

Zoro: "'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' That…(read the video Transcript) 'Sun-Tzu guy' said that, and I'd say he knows a little more [pokes a recruits' helmet] about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor."

[The Art of War plays] [Cut to Zoro holding his three swords and screaming.]

[Zoro then charges the final capture point in Granary with his swords and kills a Demoman, who fires at him but misses. A BLU Medic appears behind him, firing syringes.]

Sanji: "Oi! To the left, Marimo!"

Zoro: "Maggots!" [Zoro turns to the left and fires a Crit sword slash at the Medic, gibbing him.]

Usopp: "Right up! Right up!" (but he stay behind with shaking legs)

Luffy: "Go, go, go!"

[Zoro and Luffy charge into battle together, as explosions occur all around them.]

[Cut back to the Zoro's drill. Music pauses.]

Zoro: "Then, he used his fight money... [unhooks two grenades from his belt, one in each hand.] ...to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat... [demonstrates by using the grenades, moving them in a walking motion.] ...and then he beat the crap out of every single one." [Zoro bangs the two grenades together repeatedly.]

[Cut back to battle scene. Music resumes.]

Nami: (Behind cover) "Sentry up there!"

[Zoro runs up to the Sentry gun and 'sword jump' onto a pipe, both destroying the Sentry and killing the Engineer in the process.]

[A BLU Heavy and Pyro are holding the final capture point. The Heavy is laughing gleefully. Zoro jumps downward, firing a Critical slash that lands just before he does. The swords kill both the Heavy and Pyro. A Spy uncloaks and attempts to backstab Zoro, but he attacks the spy swiftly, knocking him out twith it.] [Freeze frame]

[Cut back to Zoro's drill, where he had fell asleep]

Zoro: (snoring) Zzz…ronf…zzz…[then he woke up and Laughs to himself] "ehm…eheheh, (resumes serious expression) And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a 'zoo'!"

[Crickets chirp as the 'recruits' are revealed to be cannonballs perched on the Sunny' s gate, all wearing BLU Soldier helmets. One of them falls off the gate.]

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]

Zoro: [To the Cannonball] "Unless it's a farm!" (Then he picks up the Transcript of the video and read it, irritated) I want to know who wrote this shit?!

Sanji: (hiding somewhere) eheheh (laughs evilly while smoking)