Meet Usopp the King of Snipers:
[the lone Mini-Merry is sailing in the Sea. Camera cuts to Usopp disguising as Sogeking standing in a heroic pose with crossed arms, his Kabuto in a hand.]
Usopp/Sogeking: "Boom, headshot."
[Meet Usopp text appears. Cuts to Usopp driving the Mini-Merry as Valve's edited version of Magnum Force plays in the background.]
Usopp: "Snipin's a good job, mate! It's challengin' work, outta doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry-"
[Cuts to a shot of Usopp brushing his teeth. There are three photographs on the right of his mirror of a BLUEngineer, Heavy, and Scout - the Engineer and the Scout are crossed off, but the Heavy is not.]
Usopp "-'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want prank someone."
[Scene cuts to view inside Usopp's scope. Usopp launch a Tabasco projectile to the heavy who runs away screaming for water. The Tabasco also ends on the good eye of the Demoman behind him, blinding him. The Demoman flails around, takes out his Grenade Launcher, fires grenades wildly in the air and falls over a ledge, with his stray grenades igniting a cluster of explosive barrels below and causing a chain explosion.]
Usopp: ehm… (he sweat drop but when he notice the camera he make a prod pose) A-and that was my plan! (he grins proudly but then a few bullets hit next to him and Usopp runs away scared)
[Cuts to Usopp talking on a Den Den Mushi.]
Usopp: "Oi, Dad? Dad, I'm a- Ye- I'm gonna be a brave warrior of the seas. Did I've already told you that I am a great Captain?"
[Back to Usopp in the Mini Merry.]
Usopp: "I'll be honest with ya: I've got 8000 mans under my command!." (Grins proudly)
[Cuts to Usopp climbing the Sunny's Observation tower in Gold Rush Stage 3, Cap 1. Usopp now is waiting at the top of the tower for a shot.]
Usopp: [Glances away from his scope briefly to address the viewer] "I think his mate saw me."
[A bullet ricochets off the ledge under Usopp.]
Usopp: "AAAHHH! Yes, yes he did!" [Usop, quite scared, takes cover as return fire ricochets off the tower.]
[Cuts to a time-lapse image of Usopp waiting for a shot. Several Tabasco-filled jars are to his side, as Usopp drinks soda and waits. As the sun starts to set, Usopp smiles and finally takes his shot.]
[Usopp hits a Spy with his Usopp Hammer on Gold Rush Stage 3, Spy collapses with a funny expression, Sniper's Scopes and mini Usopps with hammers are dancing around his head. Usopp grins with a satisfied expression.]
Usopp: "If I am the great hero from Sniper's Island, Sogeking? Look mate…" [Cut back to Mini Merry] "That's confidential. You know, we the 'Professionals' have standards."
[Usopp takes off his hat and puts it on his chest, standing over the out coldSpy.]
Usopp: "Be polite."
[Usopp launches proyectiles and hits in the head a Medic, a Soldier, and a Pyro, knoking them out cold.]
Usopp: "Be efficient."
[Slow-motion shot of Usopp reloading his Kabuto.]
Usopp: "Have a plan for every enemy you meet."
[Usopp fires directly at the camera. The screen blacks out.] [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]
[Cut back to the Den Den Mushi.]
Usopp: "Oi, Dad. I'll call you back lather…can you put Kaya on the Mushi?"