Meet Sanji the Black-Leg Demoman
["Meet Sanji" text appears"]
[Opening fanfare of Drunken Pipe Bomb plays as Sanji narrowly escapes a massive explosion while jumping from a drop-down corridor in Gravel Pit] [Freeze frame]
Sanji: "What makes me a good cook?"
[Cut to Sanji, sitting in the Sunny's kitchen]
Sanji: "If I were a bad cook, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I?"
["Drunken Pipe Bomb" resumes playing]
Sanji: "Let's do it!"
[Sanji charges into battle along with Mugiwara Crew while dodging a cascade of rockets]
Sanji: "Not one of ya's gonna' survive this."
(suddenly he notice Nami runs next to him and then Sanji falls in love…again)
Sanji: Nami-Swaaan ~ (all happy)
[Cut back to the Sanji's kitchen, music pauses.]
Sanji: "Some good ingredients, one wayward pinch of salt, a lot of passion... and (shows a delicious meal) voilà!"
[Cut back to battle, music resumes.] [Sanji awaits for a pursuing BLU Demoman and then he kicks him away, continuing smoking his cigarette]
[Cut to scene of Sanji cooking something]
[A level 2 Sentry Gun upgrades to level 3]
[Cut to scene of Sanji continuing his work]
[Sentry Gun fires rockets at Sanji and Nami. Sanji got pissed off at the Sentry attack]
[Cut to a close up of the Sanji's face, still cooking]
[Sanji dodges the rockets and kicks the Sentry, destroying it and saving Nami who tanks him. Sanji start twirling around happily] [Cut back to Sanji's room, music stops.]
[Sanji is smoking a cigarette, calm] [Camera blurs]
Sanji: "I got a weak point for the womans...some people think it's a weakness but (he sets on flames) NOTHING CAN STOP THE FORCE OF MY LOVE!"
(Zoro enters the kitchen)
Zoro: what about Newkamas, ero-cook? (Making fun of Sanji)
(Sanji's flames died down as he remember his embarrassing battle against Bon Clay at Arabasta)
Sanji: shut up, shitty marimo!
(The two starts arguing and fight, knocking out the camera which goes in "We are having technical difficulties, please stand by")
(later the scene goes back to Sanji)
Sanji: "So..."
[The ending segment of "Drunken Pipe Bomb" starts to play]
Sanji: "...T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure."
[Sanji runs out to the final capture point in Gravelpit and is shocked to see a group of BLU team members charging towards him with smug expressions on their faces. A devious look comes over Sanji's face and he runs with BLU in hot pursuit]
Sanji: "If you think you can hurt my beloved Nami-Swan and Robin-Chan, then you better run for your lives! Come and get me I say! [Sanji awaits in front of a door frame while spinning and performing a Diable Jambe] I'll be waiting on ya. I'm the Prince who will rescue the beautiful princesses with a happy end!"
[Sanji attacks the BLU team. Sanji throws them against a wall, taking it down.]
[Sanji walks up to the defeated BLUs, smoking as concrete parts rain down around him.]
Sanji: "Food is a gift from God. Spices are a gift from the devil. Looks like it was too spicy for you. It seems they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!"
[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, accompanied by Moulin Rouge]