They had dinner out at a pizza place, then stopped to visit Daniel at the home, arriving back at Hawkeye's late in the evening, both of them uncharacteristically quiet.
Feeling self-conscious, Hawkeye said, "I don't want to rush you into anything, Beej. I want you—both of us—to be comfortable." He could feel his face getting warm, and he felt absurdly clumsy as he spoke. Smooth-talking loverboy Hawkeye Pierce was nowhere in evidence. "If you want to sleep in your room—in the Swamp—tonight, that's absolutely fine. Just say so. But I would really love to take you to bed. To my bed."
"I would love that too." B.J. smiled and Hawkeye's heart melted. "Yes."
Hawkeye held out his hand and B.J. took it, and the moment was so tender it almost brought Hawkeye to tears. But that would be no way to start their first time together, so he drew a deep breath to tamp down the emotion.
He led B.J. up the stairs to his bedroom and closed the door behind them. He kept the lights off; the moon provided some illumination through the window, and it was enough. Standing before his best friend, he touched his thumb lightly to B.J.'s cheek, caressed softly. He watched as B.J.'s eyes fluttered shut. They both wanted to savor every sensation.
"I'm nervous," B.J. whispered.
"So am I."
Opening his eyes, B.J. asked, "You never… this is new to you too?"
Hawkeye nodded.
"It's just… well, you have a whole hell of a lot more sexual experience than I do, so I wasn't sure…"
"Just women," Hawkeye told him, moving closer, placing his body gently against B.J.'s. "We'll learn together."
Judging by B.J.'s physical reaction, an apparently involuntary thrust against Hawkeye's groin, B.J. was fine with that idea. Hawkeye moved his hands to B.J.'s ass and rubbed, pushing their bodies even closer together. "Mmmm," he mumbled, then kissed B.J. hungrily.
When they came up for air, Hawkeye grabbed his own shirt at the hem and pulled it over his head in one swift motion. He reached for B.J.'s T-shirt, tugged it up but not quite over his head… it got caught on B.J.'s nose and he said, "Ow," and then finally the two of them yanked it off together. They laughed, moved together again. Hawkeye's hands settled on B.J.'s chest, furry and broad, and he just stared as his own fingers raked through the hair. He loved how it felt, touching B.J. like this. He knew the man's body, had known his appearance and his touch for seven years, but now he was learning it anew.
They kissed again, and again. Hawkeye pants were growing uncomfortable, they were way too constricting, and he blindly reached down to undo the fly even as he kept on kissing B.J. He kicked them off, pulled his boxers off right after. He was practically whimpering.
"Hawkeye," B.J. breathed, grabbing at him, unwilling to pause the kissing for such mundane things as shedding clothes. Mundane, but necessary. Hawkeye acquiesced… kissing back, kissing hard, licking B.J.'s mouth and tasting his tongue.
And still somehow he managed to get B.J.'s pants undone as well, his hands working skillfully without a lot of direction from his brain.
Clothing finally off, Hawkeye steered B.J. backward, in the direction of the bed. B.J. sat on the edge, his erection bold and beautiful, and Hawkeye subconsciously licked his lips as he stood over him. He knelt down, ran his hands along B.J.'s legs, staring, wanting.
"Please, Hawk," B.J. moaned.
And even though Hawkeye had wanted desperately for this first time to be slow and drawn-out and filled with delicious anticipation, he gave in to B.J.'s pleas. He bent over and took B.J. into his mouth. He felt B.J.'s body tighten, could hear the tiny mewing sounds coming from the back of B.J.'s throat. Hawkeye's tongue pressed, his lips caressed, his teeth nibbled.
B.J.'s hips shook, and his hands found Hawkeye's head, fingers tangling in Hawk's hair.
His moans sounded so good.
It didn't take long… B.J. gave a faint cry as he came, quick spurts into Hawkeye's mouth. B.J. shuddered, stilled, and they both fell onto the bed, moving to hold one another, clinging. Sighing. Kissing.
After a time, B.J. lifted his lashes and looked into Hawk's eyes and gave a smile of pure bliss.
Hawkeye felt all the loneliness and darkness he'd ever known shattered by the brightness of that smile.
It was a weekend mostly spent naked and in bed. A weekend of learning… of exploring and experimenting.
During a break in the action on Sunday afternoon, as they lay there in each other's arms, and with Aphrodite circling over their legs in one of the rare occasions when she was allowed into the room, B.J. said, "I guess there's a lot we have to figure out."
Hawkeye quipped, "In my humble opinion, we're both earning A's so far, Beej."
B.J. laughed. "I don't mean that. I mean… logistics. Where we go from here." He trailed a finger up and down Hawkeye's chest, then around his navel. "If it's too soon to talk about it, I understand. But… my flight back home is tomorrow afternoon."
That gave Hawkeye a start, though he had certainly known it in the back of his mind. All of the non-stop, mind-blowing sex had temporarily pushed reality to the back-burner. But B.J. was going to be leaving the next day? Hawkeye felt a kind of panic rising in his chest. Already he felt like B.J. was a part of him… half of him.
"Christ, Beej… you can't go. We've only just started this…"
B.J. propped himself on an elbow. "Logistics," he repeated. "You see what I mean."
Hawkeye nodded. "OK, well, we have several options. Long-distance relationship, seeing each other on weekends—"
"No," B.J. said quickly, and Hawkeye was inclined to agree. He'd get the bends if he didn't see B.J. every day. Every second of every day.
He gave an apologetic smile. "My dad's in the home…"
"I know, Hawk." B.J. leaned over and kissed him. "And my daughter is in Mill Valley."
Hawkeye shut his eyes. "Shit," he muttered. "What the hell are we gonna do?"
B.J. snuggled into the crook of his arm. "We need to take some time and think about this. We'll figure it out."
"I already miss you, and you're right here."
"We're going to figure it out," B.J. said firmly. "This—what we have—it's long-term. It's real. As far as I'm concerned, it's forever."
Hawkeye swallowed hard. He was amazed that B.J. had said it. "Yeah. As far as I'm concerned, too."
"Then don't worry, we will find a way to be together." B.J. went back to running his fingers over Hawkeye's chest… then stomach. His index finger dipped lower, stroking. Hawkeye's hips bucked. "We got this far, we can get the rest of the way. Right?"
Hawkeye had to try a couple of times to say "Right." His mouth was dry, and his attention had drifted away from the conversation and down toward the lower half of his body.
Curious, Aphrodite sauntered up next to Hawkeye's face, and Hawkeye shooed her away with a raspy, "Out, cat!" She jumped off the bed, scampered out of the room.
Laughing, B.J. kept on stroking lightly. Up and down… a feathery touch… maddening.
In one quick motion, Hawkeye rolled over, catching B.J. off guard and straddling him… trapping him. He put on a devilish grin, reached to the nightstand for the bottle of lotion. B.J. grinned back up at him. "Round 25?"
"I've lost count."
"Which one of us is winning?"
"It's a tie." He leaned over and kissed B.J. as he rubbed lotion in his palms. "Now turn around and hug your pillow, handsome. We're gonna have some fun."
Round 25 ended in a tie too.