Meet Nico Robin the Demon Child Spy
[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! Spy Mugiwara is in the base!"
[Signs illuminate on a large security panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Spy Mugiwara' and 'In Base'; pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]
Soldier: "Spy Mugiwara is in the base!?"
[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]
The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"
Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"
[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]
Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"
[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]
Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"
Scout: Let's go, let's go-
[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]
Heavy: "INCOMING!"
[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room]
Heavy: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- [screaming]"
[The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe]
Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"
Heavy: "-AAAAalright then."
Spy: "Ahem."
[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder]
Spy: "Gentlemen."
[Meet Robin' Title Card]
[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk]
Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."
Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."
Scout: "Yeah, it is!"
Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Spy Mugiwara on the way here?" [The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug] "No? Then we still have a problem.
[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back]
Soldier: "...and a knife."
[The Scout approaches and removes the knife]
Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like you!" [The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it]
Scout: "Ow! No offense."
Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me." [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout] "And nothing... nothing like the woman loose inside this building."
Scout: "What're you? President of her fan club?"
[The Soldier and Heavy chuckle while the Spy turns to face the Scout with a serious expression]
Scout: O_OU
Spy: "This is serious! We are facing a very powerful and mysterious enemy. This…'Mugiwara Crew' popped out of nowhere "
[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing the nine WANTED posters of the Straw Hats while Right Behind You plays]
Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]
Spy: Indeed, and now they're here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or this news will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."
[The Soldier and Heavy examine the posters. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo (Sanji poster maybe XD)]
Soldier: Oh!
[The Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground]
Spy: "This Spy has already breached our defenses..."
[Fade to Robin walking casually through the Hydro tunnels. She pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. Robin use her Devil Fruit powers to stick a Sapper on it, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]
Engineer: "Sentry Down!"
[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to be blocked by a group of arms which breaks his spine. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and Robin steps in the room and attack a target off-screen]
[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]
Spy: "You've seen what she's done to our colleagues!"
[Fade to the BLU Sniper, still alive and sniping from a dusty attic. Robin is sat on a crate behind him, smiling. The Sniper suddenly noticed her and engages Robin with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately backstabbed]
[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]
Spy: "And worst of all, she could be any one of us..."
[Fade to Robin fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw]
Medic: "Raus, raus!"
[Robin breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on Robin face as she disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles]
Medic: [gasps] "Nein..."
[Robin break his spine too and kills the Medic, knocking off his spectacles, which she catches and wears, completing her disguise] [Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic]
Spy: "She could be in this very room! She could be you! She could be me! She could even be-"
[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy and a panicked Scout]
Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
Heavy: "Oh!"
Soldier: "What? It was obvious!" [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] "He's the Spy Mugiwara! Watch, he'll turn purple any second now..."
[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun]
Soldier: "Aaany second now... See? Purple! Oh, wait... that's blood."
Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."
Soldier: "Big problem...
[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily]
Soldier: All right, who's ready to go find this Spy?"
[As the Scout approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be Robin]
Robin: "Right behind you, boys." (Smiling confident)
Soldier: Uh-ho…O_OIII
Heavy: Not good…
[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]
[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]
[Fade to the scattered posters of the Straw Hats. Robin retrieves them and chuckle before walking off with the BLU team's Intel in tow]