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BPOV
"Tom, Max, Masen hurry up boy's Uncle Jazz and Uncle Em will be here soon to take you camping." I said laughing at Masen.
"What's up Mase?" I asked him.
"Do I have to go mom?" he asked.
"Yeah you do Mase. Why don't you want to go?" I asked my 8 year old son.
"We have to sleep in tents and Uncle Em farts so much it will stink." he said as I tried not to laugh.
"I had to go camping with him all the time when I was a kid to Mase just don't worry about it and have fun. Uncle Em and Uncle Jazz will be hurt Mase don't forget Uncle Tom, Chris, Sam, Paul, Rob, Jason, Pete, Riley, James, Mitch, Seth and Ben are all going as well." I told him looking at his face light up.
"Will Uncle Jason or Uncle Rob let me sleep in his tent?" Masen asked.
"I'm sure if you ask them they won't say no." I said looking at Masen as a big smile spread over his face.
"Mom, why do we have to go every year?" Max asked.
"Because your godfathers love you and they want to spend some time with you being boys. I know you have burping and farting contests." I said looking at my three sons' laughing.
"Yeah Uncle Tom always wins." Mase said laughing.
Yes I could imagine Tiny would win I know he caused me to throw up a few times from his farts.
"Mom, why do we have so many godparents?" Tom asked.
"Because your dad and I love them all and we couldn't choose one over the other so instead of having 4 you got 25." I said laughing at them.
"Mom what are the girls doing?" Masen asked.
"Libby, Toni and Emily are having a girl's weekend with their godmothers at the Mansion they left an hour ago." I said looking at the boys screwing their faces up.
"Is Isabella going as well mom?" Masen asked.
"Yeah Mase she is going with Aunty Sammy." I said looking at him.
"Then on Sunday your dad and I will meet you all at the Mansion and we are staying there for a week." I said looking at the three boys smile.
"Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Sue going to be there?" Mase asked.
"Yeah they are, as well as a few others." I said looking at them.
"Hey boys" Edward said walking in the door.
"Hey Dad" the three of them said all together.
"Are you ready for the big Godparent camping trip?" he asked them and they all nodded.
"Boys I brought you some things." Edward told them.
"What dad did you get Dad?" Masen asked.
"See these bars of soap when you wash yourself it makes your skin go pink, blue or green depends who gets which one." Edward said handing them the soap.
"This is well fake dog poo and it smells and is sticky don't get it on yourself." Edward said laughing as the boys wrinkled their noses.
"Snakes, spiders, whoopee cushion cans of string, shaving cream and air horns and a heap of other stuff." Edward said looking at the boys.
"What's that dad?" Max asked.
"See these mice I want you boys to put them in Uncle Rob's tent for dad." Edward said laughing.
"Why, Uncle Rob?" Masen asked.
"Because he is scared of mice Mase." Edward said laughing.
"Now go and put them in your bags boys and have fun." Edward told them handing over the stuff laughing.
"Is that what you left early to get babe?" I said looking at him.
"Yeah love" he said laughing.
"The boys are going to kill you." I said laughing.
"Yeah but I think it will be funny did you give Mase the video camera to take with them?" he said looking at me.
"Yeah and he took his digital camera." I said looking at him.
"A whole weekend love just you and me." Edward said kissing me.
"I know babe I have lots to do." I said watching his face drop.
"How many are staying at the Mansion for the week?" Edward asked.
"A few" I said looking at him.
"Isabella Cullen how many is a few?" he asked.
"All of them and then on the Friday all the construction guys are coming up for the annual fishing and football and baseball game." I said looking at him.
"So you are telling me that there are going to be 9 kids and 32 adults staying at the Mansion for the week and over 400 construction guys on Friday?" he said looking at me.
"Yeah" I said looking at him laughing.
"Lucky we built a cabin big enough then." he said laughing.
"Yes we are, 20 bedroom, 3 dining, 4 living, 2 cinemas, music studio, bowling alley, pool with a water slide and waterfall, kids retreat, baseball pitch, games room, gym, cubby mansion and 12 car garage and you thought I was weird when I wanted all those rooms and things." I said raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah well now I know why it is a friggin mansion because we always have so many guests and that's why you bought all the land to put it on." he said laughing.
"Oh and you left out a room Bella." he said laughing. I looked at him and started laughing.
"Cullen Night Club" I said laughing.
"It is huge Bella the cabin has a friggin elevator and all." Edward said laughing.
"Shut up Assward I love the cabin." I said walking to open the front door.
"Hey Tink's are the boys ready?" Em asked.
"Yeah they have been waiting for ages." I said looking at my 2 brothers.
"MASEN, MAX AND TOM YOUR UNCLES ARE HERE?" I yelled. I heard the three boys all running down the stairs and when they saw me looking they quickly started to walk.
"So my little 8, 7 and 6 year old nephews what are you up to?" Jazz asked them quirking an eyebrow at them.
"Nothing" they all said looking at their dad.
"Right let's go boys." Jazz said looking at them kissing me on the check and leaving. I heard footsteps and looked to see my boys all come back to give me and their dad a kiss.
"I will see you all on Sunday." I said kissing them as they all ran back out to their uncles. I started to get teary and Edward walked over and hugged me. He picked me up and we went into the media room and he put on a DVD and snuggled up together.
"Love you will see the kids in 2 days don't cry." he said kissing me.
"I know but I miss my babies already." I said looking at him.
"Right go and pack a bag we are going camping." he said getting up.
"Really we are going camping with the boys?" I said getting up.
"Yep, I will go to Newtons and the store and buy everything you pack our bags." he said kissing me.
3 hours later we pulled up at the campsite and found the guys.
"Hey Tink's what are you and Doc doing here?" Tiny said.
"I wanted to come camping with my boys." I said looking at him.
"You missed them already didn't you Tink's?" he said cuddling me.
"Yeah I did." I said looking at him.
"I hope you are going to get your drunk on with me?" he said laughing.
"Hell yeah" I said laughing.
"Ah Tinks has Edward ever put a tent up before?" he said laughing at Edward falling over everything and looking at the directions.
"Yeah but he just went and bought all of it." I said laughing as Edward kicked a tent peg and fell on his ass.
"Oh my god I am so glad you two came up this is going to be so much fun." Tiny laughed.
"So where are my boys?" I asked.
"They went on a hike" Tiny said walking over to help Edward. 30 minutes later the tent was up he bought a huge blow up mattress and everything else oh my god I can't believe how much crap he bought. This was definitely not camping this was not even roughing it.
"Edward I can't believe all the stuff you bought." I said looking at the huge tent.
"I wanted you to be comfortable love." he said kissing me.
"You wanted you to be comfortable." I said laughing and he nodded in agreement. Edward turned some music on and we sat around with Tiny laughing and chatting.
"MOM, DAD" the boys yelled running towards us.
"Hey boys are you having fun?" I asked.
"Yeah mom you came camping?" Masen said.
"I can go home Mase if you want me to." I said looking at him.
"No mom stay, please." he said kissing me.
"OK well just think dad and I aren't here ok and have fun." I said kissing him back.
"TINK'S" the guys all yelled.
"Hey guys sorry for crashing your weekend but Edward and I really wanted to come camping with you." I said looking at them.
"You owe me $100 Em." Sam said laughing.
"What you bet we would come?" I asked and they all nodded.
"Come on Tink's you can't be away from your kids to long and we know that you aren't really in to girly weekends." Paul said laughing.
"Oh ok you got me." I said looking at the boys laughing.
"Nice tent" Chris said.
"I know Edward bought everything before we came." I said laughing at the huge friggin thing.
"Tink's what is that?" Mitch asked. I rolled my eyes and looked at Edward.
"Don't ask." I said laughing.
"Is that a generator?" Em asked.
"Yep my husband bought it for the fucking TV, stereo and lights that he just had to buy." I said looking at them.
"Your kidding does he not know what camping is all about?" Mitch asked.
"No he doesn't know how to rough it." I said laughing.
"Tink's what the fuck is that over there?" Sam asked.
"A Privy Shelter" I said biting my bottom lip trying not to laugh.
"You're shitting me." Jazz said.
"Nope complete with porta pottie." I said laughing.
"And that" Jazz asked pointing at the other tall shower shelter.
"Shower" I said looking at them.
"OMG" Chris said laughing along with everyone else at Edward walking back to us with a huge grin on his face.
"Hey Doc, I see you came to rough it with us." Tiny said laughing with the boys.
"Yeah well I wanted Bella to be comfortable." he said looking at the boys.
"You're full of it she can rough it, it is you that can't." Jason said laughing at Edward who was getting flustered.
"OK boys let's just enjoy the weekend." I said laughing.
"Masen get back here." Pauley yelled.
I looked over to see Pauley with silly string all over him and Masen running away from him laughing.
"MOM" Masen yelled running to me laughing at Pauley falling over while trying to catch him. Masen finally got to me and jumped in my arms.
"Mom, Uncle Pauley is going to get me." he said laughing.
"Masen give me that can." he said looking at my son.
"Nah uh" Mase said to him.
"Masen please can I have the can?" he said to him as Masen gave it to his dad.
"Edward put that can away he got me when I was having a pee and I pissed on my pants." he said looking to us. Everyone roared laughing at Pauley.
30 minutes later
"Tom come here." Sam yelled we all turned and looked at Tom running towards us.
"MOM" he yelled running towards me with the air horn in his hand.
"TOM" Sam yelled again.
Tom ran and jumped in my arms and ducked his head in my neck. I looked at Sam and he was all wet.
"What happened?" I asked Sam.
"I was standing on the bank where we jump in and swim and Tom blew that air horn, scared the shit out of me and I fell into the water." he said. We all roared laughing as Sam walked away to get dry.
We were all sitting around the camp fire chatting and telling stories and making S'mores.
"Hey Edward can I test your shower before it gets too dark." Pete asked.
"Yeah sure man" Edward said.
"Is there any soap in there?" he asked.
"Nah um...Max go get Uncle Pete your soap to use." Edward said smirking at Max. Max ran into our tent and grabbed it and gave it to Pete. We were all sitting there watching and waiting for Pete to notice. Max sat on his dads knee waiting and giggling.
"Max what did you do?" Tiny asked him which made him giggle more.
"Wonder what color he will be." Edward whispered to me chuckling.
"MAX" Pete screamed. Max shot his head up and looked at his dad scared.
"It's ok buddy." Edward cooed laughing.
We saw Pete stomping towards us with a towel wrapped around him and everyone burst out laughing. He was bright green you could see where he ran the soap over his body. I was in fits I had tears rolling down my face Tiny high fived Max and he was giggling.
"Max, where did you get the soap from?" Pete asked. He looked at his dad and Edward nodded to him.
"Dad gave it to me." he said quietly.
"Edward you gave the boys all that stuff to get us with?" he asked him.
"Yeah I did." Edward said laughing.
"I expected Tink's to do something like this but not you." he said laughing.
"What can I say my wife has rubbed off on me." he said laughing with everyone else. I looked over to see Masen and Tom whispering and then I heard a fart I looked at them and they were laughing.
"Masen did you do that?" Jazz asked laughing. Masen just nodded laughing.
"Holy hell Bella what did you feed that kid." he said moving away nearly dry wrenching.
"Fart gas in a can and fart noise key ring." Edward whispered to me I started laughing.
"OH HELL" Chris said moving away.
"Gee Mase don't do another one of them mate go over to the cars and do them." Jason said getting up and walking away.
"God Tiny, Mase is worse than you." Rob said dry wrenching and walking away.
Tom got up and moved next to Em and let one rip. Em looked at him and smiled but then he stood up.
"OMG I am going to be sick that's disgusting." Em said walking away and so did Sam, Seth and Pauley.
Edward and I had tears we couldn't stop laughing and Tom and Mase had lost it laughing high fiving each other. Mitch came back from his pee and sat next to the boys they giggled and let one rip beside him. Mitch looked at them and then looked at Edward and me. We could see Mitch trying not to breathe thru his nose. Edward nodded to Mase and he let another one rip and Mitch lost it he looked at Mase with disgust and moved away. Max was laughing with us sitting on his dad still. Tom came up and sat next to Tiny and smiled at him. He sat there and Tiny let one rip and Tom looked at him and smiled at let one rip. With in 1 minute Tiny was gone dry wrenching Edward and I lost it we were on the ground laughing and told the boys to put it back and do something else.
"OMG Edward I can't stop laughing." I said laughing.
"I know love our kids are evil." he said laughing.
Everyone came back and asked us what we had been feeding our kids sending Edward and me into another round of laughing. I was getting pretty drunk and I had the giggles.
We heard a girly scream and then "WHAT THE FUCK" and we saw Rob running and Masen going into the tent.
"Mice" Edward whispered chuckling making me laugh. Rob walked over to Edward and I and looked at us narrowing his eyes. I looked over to see the 3 boys giggling and looking over at the toilet. I saw Tiny walk in and I looked at Edward he shrugged his shoulders.
"AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Tiny screamed and came running with his pants around his legs trying to pull his briefs up. I lost it and Masen, Max and Tom were giggling and high fiving each other. The guys were all laughing and Tiny walked over to the boys and looked at them.
"Mind explaining this?" Tiny asked them trying to keep a straight face
"What is it Tiny?" Mitch asked laughing at him.
"It is a friggin spider oh but no normal fake spider it is noise motioned I was sitting getting ready to back one out and test the doc's porta potty and I farted and this thing dropped from above and I shit myself." he said laughing. We all roared laughing and the 3 boys were high fiving each other again.
"Boys why is my butt sticky?" Tiny asked them.
"Honey" Masen said to him running to me and jumping on me.
"OMG my god kids are evil." Tiny said laughing.
Riley walked off to go to his tent and I saw a little evil smile go on Masen's face I looked at him and looked at Tom and Max giggling. I looked at Edward and he was smirking everyone looked over to where Riley went and waited.
"Oh fuck I stepped in dog shit." he said the boys all high fived each other.
Masen got up and offered all their uncles a lollipop to say sorry. All the boys were sucking away and I looked at Edward and he was chuckling. I looked at some of the guys faces and their teeth were black and their lips. I started laughing and they all looked at the boys giggling.
"What did they do now?" Em asked. Tiny looked at Em and pulled the candy out of his mouth and looked at the boys and started laughing.
"OMG they are good." He laughed all the guys spat there candy and looked at each other all with black teeth and lips and started laughing. The 3 boys were all giggling at their uncles and then they all let one rip one after another. All the guys started dry wrenching Edward and I were laughing again Tiny was rolling around on the ground telling the kids they won the fart contest this year.
"Right Masen, Max and Tom give mom and dad a kiss and off to bed" Em said to them the 3 of them walked over and kissed me and Masen whispered something to his dad and went off to bed. I looked at the guys and they were all laughing.
"OMG Bella they are evil." Rob said laughing.
"Where did you get all that crap from?" Jason asked I pointed to Edward and laughed.
"That was funny I don't care I love those 3 boys I haven't laughed so much for ages." Tiny said and all the guys started laughing.
"Those farts please tell me they weren't real smells." Mitch said.
"It's called Ass in a Can." Edward laughed.
"OMG we have another day please tell me they have finished with all their pranks?" Sam asked.
"Nope be prepared boys they have only just begun." Edward said laughing at the guys cursing him.