11. Do NOT put laxatives in Jean's coffee.
He first took a 1 hour shit then proceeded to chase after Armin with his blades drawn, all while Armin was laughing his ass off.
12. Do NOT put aphrodisiac in Levi's tea.
To the shock of the entire Survey Corps, he picked up Petra and carried her to his room, upon then the entire Corps having to evacuate the entire HQ just to escape Petra's sexual screams. She was later seen limping with a slight grin on her face, while Levi walked beside her and for once in his life, had a shit eating grin plastered to his face.
13. Do NOT put sleeping pills in Sasha's potatoes.
She ate the potatoe. Then the next one. And the Next one. Before the pills kicked in and she flopped face first into a bowl of mashed potatoes. Connie continued to yell, "Everybody do the flop!", and upon saying this, everyone flopped face first to the ground. Eren turned into a titan from the self inflicted injury.
14. FOR THE LOVE OF HAJIME AND THE SAKE OF MANKIND, DO NOT GIVE MIKASA OR LEVI ALCOHOL!
This actually occurred. The two jumped the wall, retook wall maria then blew a new hole in it, nearly had sex, killed 3 strippers, managed to get a party hat on a titan's head and danced the hokey pokey with it before returning to the HQ, and upon entering, Mikasa tackled Eren, dragged him to her room and violently had her way with him and Levi didn't even think about the room. He just grabbed Petra and started undressing her. When this occurred, everyone left the HQ, fearing the hangover the two would have.
15. Do NOT tell Hanji that Eren's titan form shows signs of reproductive organs.
When Connie told Hanji this as a joke, she forced him to transform and upon seeing that Connie was joking, took her anger out on poor Eren. Luckily, his genitalia grew back.
16. Do NOT tell Mikasa that Eren's genitals will grow back and you can rip us dick off and use it as a dildo.
She laughed and said "why would I need a dildo when I have Eren in the first place?" before punching Connie in the teeth, knocking 3 out and breaking his nose.
17. Do NOT tell Levi that Hanji is working on a serum to make titan shifters and if it works, it might make him Taller.
He cried. Heichou Levi literally cried to the heavens saying it was a dream come true. Eren then said it was a joke. His genitals were not amused after being removed 3 times.
18. Do NOT tell Hanji that Armin wanted to become her apprentice.
He accepted and eventually turned into another, albeit smaller and male, Hanji.
19. Do NOT send a message to wall Sina saying Code 51.
The entire wall was locked down, every citizen was patted down and a dome of metal formed over the interior of the wall. Turns out Code 51 meant Alien invasion.
20. Do NOT switch all the Survey Corps capes for Superman Capes.
Levi was not amused, even less so when he found out it was Jean. Jean's screams were heard for miles.
21. Do NOT tell Erwin to make an annual Survey Corps play to keep morale up.
Despite the constant warnings of Levi, Commander Erwin stayed adamant. The show went on without a hitch and it turned out that Eren and Mikasa made a beautiful Baritone/Mezzo-Soprano duet. Though, when the kissing scene came up, it went from chaste to full blown make out session.