A/N: Hello! Let's get goin'.

Jasper kept Laurent at arm's length, limiting their interaction to the Internet and one meeting for lunch. Despite his own misgivings, it seemed wrong to dismiss him outright. He'd been there when Jasper needed a friend, the least he could do was be a good friend back.

It was frightening how quickly Laurent spiraled.

"I won't do it again," he said, but the next week he spoke about going over to their house.

"There weren't any drugs there this time," he claimed when they met for lunch a full month and a half after the incident.

Jasper stared at his friend. "You're kidding, right?"

Laurent tilted his head, still looking Jasper straight in the eyes.

"You used. Recently. You think I don't know what it looks like?" Jasper asked.

"I didn't-"

Jasper reached across the table and yanked Laurent's hand forward, pulling his long-sleeved shirt back at the same time. Sure enough, there were fresh marks. Laurent yanked his arms back with a scowl. "I have it under control."

"Christ, will you come off it? You know as well as I do that's not true."

Laurent shook his head. "No, you don't understand. This isn't like it was with James. I use socially. Like you saw. Just one hit. Only one."

"Every time you go."

His friend ducked his head, and Jasper knew he was right. He didn't believe Laurent's claim of one hit only either, but that was beside the point.

After that, whenever they talked, they argued. "I get it," Jasper said. "No one gets it better than me, but think of everything you have to lose. You rebuilt your life. Not everyone gets to do that, not after the bullshit we pulled. You're not going to get a third chance. Do you want to lose Kate? Do you want to end up dead like James?"

"I'm nothing like James."

"Not yet."

After that, Laurent promised to tell Kate. He said he did. He said he was going to meetings, that he was back on the wagon. It was a lie-an elaborate, believable one.

Jasper was getting the first hand experience of what it was like to be the loved one of a drug addict.

"It's maddening, isn't it?" Bella said when he confessed his worries to her one day. "How they can lie to you straight faced. How they can manipulate you into thinking you're crazy for believing they need help."

He raised his head to look at her. "I'm sorry."

She offered him a small smile and touched her hand briefly to his arm. "There comes a point where you've said enough sorrys."

He scoffed. "Honey, there aren't enough sorrys in the world." He sighed, casting off his worry and frustration over his friend for a time and let his eyes drift down to her belly. He nodded at the bulge that was bigger than the rest of her these days. "Edward said you'd decided on a name for the monster."

Bella grinned. "Malcolm Charlie Cullen."

"Mal?" Jasper chuckled at that. "Are you trying for the entire crew of Serenity? I vote for River if the next one is a girl."

"Oh, God. Why would you wish that on me? You think I want to do this again? Do you know how uncomfortable this is?" She tapped her distended middle.

"Can't say that I do, but just looking at you makes my back hurt." He swallowed hard, remembering how she looked just before the accident at thirty-one weeks. "It's good, though, that you made it this far this time."

Bella tilted her head, studying him for a long moment. "I blame you for a lot of things, Jasper, but the accident and Kaylee being born too soon isn't one of them. You took good care of me while I was pregnant. You have so many regrets. Don't add to them if you don't need to."

They both looked up as Kaylee came skittering into the room, crying out excitedly for her mother. "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, look." She held her hands out, her eyes wide with wonder. "Jakey read me a story about a hungry, hungry caterpillar. He said caterpillars turn into butterflies, and I found one."

"I can see that." Bella drew her daughter into the circle of her arms and kissed her forehead as Kaylee carefully set the bug on the table to watch it crawl. She started a little as she saw Jasper sitting there. "Hiya, Uncle Jay. I didn't know you were here." She scrambled to his side of the table and up onto his lap to give him a hug.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Daddy told me that we're going to get a new house because this house has only two rooms. He said I need a room of my own so my baby brother won't bother me. An' I tol' him I wouldn't mind sharing, but you know what? I have my own room now, and I have lotsa dolls and animals, and where would my brother put all his dolls and animals? So I guess Daddy is right. It's prolly good to have my own room."

Hearing his daughter talk about her daddy and not mean him was like trying to breathe lead instead of air. It was, Jasper thought, getting ever so slightly easier. As though at least the lead wasn't also on fire. "Your daddy is a smart man."

"Like me," Kaylee said, grinning winningly.

Jasper laughed. "Yeah, like you. Now why don't you take that caterpillar back outside so it can grow into a butterfly like you said, smarty pants. I don't think your grandma invites caterpillars to the table."

Kaylee was agreeable. With exaggerated care, she scooped the caterpillar back into her hands and ran outside with the writhing thing. Jasper stared after her until she was out of sight. When he turned back to Bella, she was looking at him with sympathy in her eyes. He smiled though he didn't much feel like it. "You're right. I have a lot of regrets. A lot. What's one more?"

"You and Edward are about equal in stubbornness, you know that?" She shook her head, but her expression was fond. "Well, anyway. About Laurent. I know you're getting a lot of crap from everyone."

"I understand why."

"Yeah. I do too. I just want you to know I also understand why you can't just let him go." She pressed her lips together, her expression thoughtful for a few moments. "Even though I couldn't help you, I don't think I regret not giving up on you back then. Well..." She put her hands on top and bottom of her big belly. "I guess I have other reasons not to regret it, but I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't necessarily think it was the wrong thing to do. Try to help you, I mean."

She reached across the table to give his hand a brief squeeze. "Just be careful, Jasper. Even at your worst, I know you tried to keep us all away from anything dangerous. Laurent has already proven he'll drag you down with him without a second thought. You're fighting your own battles, and that's more than enough."

~0~

It was only a week later that the inevitable happened. Jasper answered a call from Laurent. He had overdosed. He was in the hospital, and he wanted to see Jasper.

"It was stupid," Laurent said. He was gaunt and sickly looking in his hospital bed, but his tone was more flippant than Jasper expected. "Kate was visiting her sisters in Alaska. I didn't have to leave the party, so I didn't, you know?" He grimaced. "Felix drove me here. He told some story about how I called him before I passed out, and he found me at my place. I guess I can't complain much about that because he's going to help me keep my job." He tossed his head back so it hit the pillow with a muffled thud. "Man. Kate's pissed at me."

"Gee, I can't figure why."

"Hah, don't be an ass. She'll calm down soon enough." He waved his hand. "Anyway, that's what I wanted to ask you. You said you had a little set aside, trying to get your own place and all, right?"

Jasper raised an eyebrow, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. He just waited for Laurent to finish his thought.

"You think you could float me a loan? I get paid again in a couple of weeks, but I got nothing, and I need a place to stay for a while."

"Did the hospital not offer you a referral to a rehab facility?" Jasper asked, careful to keep his tone neutral.

Laurent seemed taken aback. "Rehab? I don't need rehab."

Jasper couldn't help but glare at his friend. "Are you fucking kidding me or do you think you're in here with a case of appendicitis?"

"Oh, don't you start, man. I heard enough of this bullshit from Kate. Look, I was stupid. I get that, but it was nothing. Look at me." He held his hands out, arms wide. "I'm sure I look like shit, but do I look like a strung-out junkie? Yeah, I use, but it's recreational now. I don't need it."

Jasper looked down at his hands. His stomach churned with frustration and anger. He wanted to believe Laurent had a point, but he knew better. He blew out a long breath before he tried to talk again. "Did you notice it didn't take me long to get here after you called?"

Laurent furrowed his eyebrows. "I guess it didn't."

"I was already here. In the hospital, I mean. My nephew was born about five hours ago."

"Your nephew." Laurent grinned. "Ah, so your brother has a real kid now, huh? Congrats."

Jasper didn't answer at first. He flexed his hands into fists and released. "Kaylee is his real kid," he said, the words slow and steady. "She's my daughter, but I don't ever get to call myself her daddy. I lost that right because I was too stupid to realize when I had the chance to get better before I lost everything. All of them gave me every chance."

His friend scowled. "I told you. It's not like it was before. I-"

"Don't you get it?" Jasper stood up, too restless to keep still. He walked a few paces away and then back rubbing the back of his neck as he tried not to shout. "You still have your job. If you do something now, I bet you could keep Kate. You said you didn't want to wind up like James."

"I won't."

"You almost did!" Jasper gestured around them.

Laurent looked away and didn't answer. Jasper dropped into the seat by the bedside again. "So you won't go to rehab. You won't do anything?"

"I don't. Need it," his friend said through gritted teeth.

After another minute of silence, Jasper stood. He took out his wallet and dropped what bills he had on Laurent's lap. "This is all I have on me. I'll take some out and leave you a week's worth with the nurse."

Laurent turned back to him. "With the nurse?"

"I can't do this, man. I can't watch you do this to yourself. I'm just not that strong yet. Maybe in a few years, but not right now."

"Jasper-"

"You can keep the money. Call me if you ever change your mind about rehab but nothing else, you get me?"

The look on Laurent's face had turned ugly and angry. "What kind of high and mighty bullshit is this? You think you're better than me?" He scoffed. "You're just pissed you're too pathetic and weak to be able to take a hit now and then without getting all needy again."

"I'm not judging you. I just said-"

"Fuck off. You fucking asshole. Like a scumbag, deadbeat who ditched his kid is better than me. Fuck, I bet that wasn't even the drugs. You just needed an excuse."

"Goodbye, Laurent."

Jasper turned and got out the door as his friend hurled insults and venom. A jello cup exploded against the door next to Jasper's head. He kept on moving until the sound of Laurent's voice was nothing but a memory.

He was breathing hard when he dropped into a chair in one of the many lobbies. He put his head down between his knees, trying to stop the dizzying spin of nauseating guilt colliding with memories he didn't want to think about right then. He took shallow breaths, trying to calm his speeding heart, turning his decision over and over in his head.

Had it been the right thing to do? What if it only drove Laurent deeper?

But the truth was it had taken him months to accept that letting go of Laurent was the right choice for him. Maybe it was selfish, but as Alice and his therapist kept on insisting, sometimes selfish was just another word for self-care.

After an age, Jasper was calm again. He got back to his feet and made his way to the maternity floor. There in the lobby, he found his little brother in conversation with Emmett, Rosalie, and Jacob the nanny. Jacob's presence meant that Kaylee had undoubtedly arrived to meet her new baby brother.

Edward's face brightened slightly when he saw Jasper. "There you are. I was looking for you."

"You were?" Even after a few awkward months of peace between them, Jasper's first thought was to wonder what he'd done wrong or if Edward somehow knew where he'd been the last half hour.

"Yeah." Edward took him by the arm and hauled him a ways down the hallway. "I wanted to ask you for something. A favor."

"A favor from me?"

Edward quirked an eyebrow. "Okay, well." He seemed oddly jumpy, but then again he'd been awake for way too long at that point. Bella had had a nap. He had declined. He was probably high on coffee and whatever it felt like to be a new dad. "I don't know if it'll bother you. I haven't seen you so much as touch a camera in so long." He shrugged. "But if it's okay, I'd appreciate it if you would take a picture of us. Kaylee with Malcolm. And the four of us."

Jasper sucked in a breath. "You want me to take your first family pictures?"

"Yeah." Edward bounced on his feet. "You always took the best pictures, you know? I mean, I understand if you don't want to."

"No. No. It's fine. If you want me to take them, I will."

Edward brightened again. "Great." He shoved a camera in Jasper's hands. "Sorry it's not as fancy as yours was. Come on. Hurry up so we can get a few pictures of Kaylee and Mal together before sibling rivalry kicks in and she decides to hate him."

~0~

"Sugar, this has been the most surreal day of my life, I think," Jasper said to Alice on the phone when he was back in his room later. "On the one hand, you have all the bullshit with Laurent. And that sucked, Ali. That really sucked."

"I can't imagine it was a highlight."

"Yeah, and it brought it all back, you know? How I was when you found me. How I was when Laurent and I were kids. And then I go right from that back to my kid brother asking me to take pictures of his new baby. It struck me, you know? How normal it was. Like, if you have a brother that takes good pictures, that's what you do. Natural. Ugh." He rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Am I even making sense?"

"Sure. You've been walking on eggshells with your whole family, and your brother especially, for over a year now. You're not a stranger anymore. You're starting to fit in."

"That's it. That's it exactly."

"It couldn't have been easy though," Alice said after a moment, gently prodding.

Jasper sighed and rubbed at his chest as though he could rub away the ache that had settled there. "It was kind of awkward, right? I lost my daughter. Okay. I get that. I'm not the first asshole to lose his kid, but I gotta wonder how many people have ever been in my place. Today I had to take pictures of my daughter with her daddy who is also my little brother, my ex-girlfriend, and their new son. I had to be there with the rest of my family knowing that no one celebrated Kaylee's birth the way they celebrated Malcolm's, because it wasn't a good thing. Today was a good day for my family. Kaylee's birthday was maybe their worst day.

"Don't get me wrong. It was good to be there, and I'm glad for my brother. Really, truly glad. God, Edward was such a goofball. He was over the moon and everyone was so happy for him."

"But," Alice prompted again when he lapsed into silence.

Damn woman. She knew him too well at times. "I dreamed about that part a lot when Bella was pregnant. The first time." He rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, blinking away the sting of tears before they could fall. "I got to hold Mal today, and I kept on wondering what it would have been like. I love him. He's my nephew, but I wanted it to be Kaylee in my arms. I wanted that. All of what Edward had today. I wanted her to still be new and mine. I wanted to be a daddy."

He'd already considered the fact the next three years of his life were bound to be bittersweet. Watching Malcolm grow, would he ever not be able to see all the milestones he missed with Kaylee?

He breathed in and out raggedly. Alice waited for him to calm again before she spoke. "You'll get there again," she said. "We'll get there."

That brought a small smile to his face. "Oh, sugar the way you talk…" He sighed again, wistful this time. "I wish you were here, baby."

"Well, about that…"

Jasper sat up straight, alarmed by the nervous tone of her voice. "What?" he asked, dreading the answer.

Even though she had just said she wanted a baby with him someday, he still half expected her to break up with him. Most of their relationship existed in some distant future, when he was all the way back on his feet, when they could be together instead of across the country from each other.

"A couple of weeks ago, I put in for a transfer to our Seattle office."

All Jasper's breath left him in a whoosh. "I didn't even know you had a Seattle office."

"I didn't know if it was possible to transfer, so I didn't say anything."

Jasper was silent, his brain still struggling to process.

"I probably should have asked you first," she said in a rush. "I just thought...there's nothing for me here. I don't really have friends. No family that will see me. There's nothing keeping me here. I know you're still working on you, but I thought maybe, if I was there, we could start working on us. But if you-"

"Alice," he interrupted her tirade. He laughed, a giddy, incredulous sound. "Do you have any idea how much I want you here? But are you sure? Why the hell would anyone uproot their lives for me? I'm a thirty-two-year-old recovering addict who still lives with his parents. I mean, what the fuck?"

She made an exasperated sound. "Can we not go there again? You hit rock bottom. You had to start over. It doesn't make you pathetic or unworthy or anything like that. You know what I think?"

"What's that?"

"I think you've made enough of this recovery by yourself. You don't have to make the rest of the journey on your own. I want to be there with you. I want to work with you toward our life. We could have a good life together. That's what I dream about."

Jasper swallowed down a lump in his throat and stopped fighting the smile that stretched so wide his cheeks hurt. "When will you know?"

"Well… I found out yesterday. I move in three months Expenses paid, including a trip to look for some place to live."

"Wow." Jasper was struck dumb, amazed because there was no way in hell his life could look like this. He just wasn't this lucky. "Wow."

Alice giggled. "Well, I'll take that as a good sign."

A/N: So. Next chap should be the last one. EPoV. It'll probably be short. There will be an epilogue.

On a personal note, I've updated my blog, kristinamsanchez dot com with the updated first chapter for my upcoming novel, One To Tell The Grandkids. If you're interested, have a gander. The book should be published in early August.