Happy Reading!

Chapter Five

Four days after the party James found himself sitting on the windowsill, where he had been with Lily. Where he had also read and reread the letter his parents had sent him on Christmas.

Dear James,

I hope the house hasn't been burnt down by you three, four if Marlene got Lily to stay with you. Your father has asked me to write that he hopes you don't try anything with her, he would like to meet her before you scare her off. I know you'd never scare a lovely lady like Lily, you've painted her in bright colours and we hope she doesn't run off, I would love to meet her too. You've got too much of your mother's beautiful personality in you to make anyone run away. Your father says that you have too much of his dashing good looks to make any girl run away. I don't know what he means by that, love, you've got your outstanding looks and personality from me.

My dearest James, I hope you are having a great Christmas. I wish we could be there with you like every other Christmas, but when duty calls we must attend to it. Your father is laughing because he says that's what you say when you need to go to the loo. Don't mind him.

I have good news! We are to return soon. I can't give too much away but soon I'll get to hug you and kiss you. I know how you worry but know that we're alright, we'll never leave our sons, yes you too Sirius. Take care of yourselves and make sure to make your beds!

Love always,
Mum and Dad

He had let Sirius read the letter once he woke up the afternoon after the party. Sirius had read it and smiled, but then he had proceeded to ask what was going on between him and Evans. James was at a loss, what was it exactly that was going on between them?

...

Four days after the party Lily found herself sitting alone in the circular table in the kitchen. Minny had brought her an overflowing plate of food and a steaming cup of tea. The Dailey Prophet lay open in front of her. She could only make a few sentences through her teary eyes:

Three more muggle massacres.
Twenty-two dead, four muggleborn wizards in the query, soon to be identified.
Suspected Death Eater attack.

She had lost her appetite twenty minutes ago once she had first skimmed through the paper. Her parents should be arriving to their house today, they'd be in danger and there was nothing she could do about it. If the Potter's didn't come back by today she would have to go to her house, she'd go back to her house and she'd protect her parents.

She was top in her class, she knew about every harmless spell in the books. Lily laughed without humour at this, she wouldn't be able to fend off a Death Eater attack with a tickling charm. She had spent the past few days reading about curses in books she found in the library. She'd been holed up in there studying and taking notes of helpful spells she was sure going to try at Hogwarts. She had also been avoiding James.

She didn't know what to make of the kiss, she wanted to blame it on the alcohol but she knew it wasn't a drunk decision, she actually wanted to kiss him. Lily Evans wanted to kiss James Potter! She'd wake up early every day, like today, and then she'd stay in the library all day. She'd claim she found the books very interesting, which she did, but didn't mention the 'I'm trying to avoid James' part. Her eyes drifted back to paper.

Enough is enough! the reporter wrote. We can't keep living our lives wondering who will be next.

A stray tear fell down her cheek. Just as she was about to keep reading the door burst open, revealing a man and a woman she had never seen before. They were both around their fifties, the lady's dark brown hair had a few streaks of white. The older bespectacled man, had unruly jet black hair, also with some gray streaks, and was just as tall as, what Lily supposed, his son.

"I'm famished!" Dorea Potter exclaimed laughing. "I haven't had a proper me-"

Lily shot up from her seat, the chair being knocked over in the process, she quickly picked it up and stood upright. Not exactly the way she thought she'd be meeting the great Dorea and Charlus Potter. She quickly wiped the stray tears and tried to speak, no words came out.

The woman's shocked face suddenly lit up, "Could it be!" Her hands covered her mouth.

"Bright green eyes, fierce red hair, it must be!" Charlus exclaimed with a smirk that looked just like his son's.

"Are you, by any chance, Lily Evans?" the lady asked moving closer to Lily.

Lily's eyes widened, "Er... Yes ma'am."

Lily was suddenly surrounded by Dorea's warm embrace. Not knowing what to do she stood there awkwardly as she was hugged.

Once she pulled away, Dorea said, "I'm Dorea Potter. I've heard so much about you! It's a great pleasure to meet you, dear."

"Make way, Dorea!" Charlus said as he grabbed Lily's shoulders. "I'm Charlus Potter, I'm so glad James didn't scare you off!" He then proceeded to hug her like Dorea had.

Lily wanted to kick herself, she was just standing there, bewildered. She had no idea they had even heard about her. They were part of the most esteemed pure blood family and they were treating her like this, like if she was more than what she actually was.

Once Charlus released her, her bright green eyes looked at both their smiling faces, "I- I've heard so much about you too, I've always wanted to meet you. I'm sorry for intruding, I'll go if you wish to be alone."

Dorea's face softened, "Nonsense, dear, your plate is still untouched. We'd love it if you had breakfast with us."

They all sat down on the table and suddenly two elves popped out of thin air.

"Monsieur Potter. Madam Potter," the elf she recognised as Minny and a fatter elf said as they bowed eagerly.

"Minny, Tubby! It's wonderful to see you again," Dorea exclaimed. "May we please have a large plate of whatever you'd wish to serve us."

"Right away," they smiled and disappeared.

"So, Lily, there's a lot we need to talk about," Charlus said seriously.

Lily gulped and nodded slowly, not knowing what he meant.

In the end they had talked about her. About how it was like to live in the Muggle world. From how they talked through a telephone to how they rode on cars, Charlus and Dorea seemed so intrigued by what Lily told them. She started to feel less self conscious as she kept talking. They'd made her feel welcome and as if she actually fit in there with them, she'd felt like if she'd known them for years.

They laughed at the stories she told them about her family and they wondered what were the simplest of things, like the blow dryer or the microwave. They inquired about their son after, how he was at school. Not wanting to get him in trouble she only mentioned things that weren't too bad. She told them about the time she had coloured Sirius' and James' hair bright green after they had made her cauldron explode and her eyebrows had been wiped clean off. She told them about the time when a little girl was being pestered by the Slytherins and how the four Marauders had protected her.

She told them about the many times James tried to ask her out and how she had declined because she thought his head was too inflated. Charlus and Dorea only laughed harder, agreeing with her. She told them how he had once transfigured her favourite muggle book into a lily but he messed up on the spell and her book had caught fire, she had to ask her parents for a new copy.

Once they finished their breakfast the three of them stood up.

"Lily, you truly are a remarkable young lady," Charlus said.

"Remarkable indeed!" Dorea piped in. "I'm so glad you keep James planted to the ground, he gets quite unmanageable at times."

They laughed and Charlus added, "We'll go and see him now, make yourself at home."

"Thank you, Mister Potter," Lily smiled.

"Please, Charlus!" He said. "No need for formalities."

"Same here, dear, I'm Dorea to you," she smiled lovingly at Lily. "If you're staying at our house, you're family."

Lily felt her heart pump warm liquid, it made her feel good. She only felt this way with her family, she knew she should bring it up. That her family was in danger but she didn't want to make them worry, she was going to have to confront James and tell him to help her tell Dorea and Charlus about the incident. She was going to have to wait until she told them, after all, they had just arrived from horrible circumstances surely. Lily didn't want to make them worry before they got the chance to see their son.

They all left the kitchen and Lily excused herself, saying she was going to go to the library, she noticed then how tired they looked, how worn out they were. She bid them farewell and made her way down the beautiful hallway.

Lily didn't know how much time passed, the sun was starting to sink deep into the horizon, the sky slowly darkening. She had been reading a huge volume on the desk when the doors were slowly opened. Lily leaned back in her chair, closed her tired eyes and massaged them with her hands. She'd been reading and taking notes for so long she thanked whoever came in for making her take a break.

"You can't stop studying even when we're on break, can you Lily?" Marlene smiled as she took the seat next to her.

"I don't always get a hold of these books, do I?" Lily said motioning towards the books in front of her. "They're remarkable, I feel like I'm learning so many valuable spells that will sure help me-"

"Stop," Marlene sighed. "I'm sure you're loving it here with all these books, I mean you're Lily Evans for Merlin's sake, but there's something you're not telling me."

"What do you mean-"

"Something's going on between you and James, you could be blind and still see the tension between the two of you."

"Marlene," Lily faked a laugh. "There's nothing going on."

"Lily don't lie!" she scoffed. "Don't think that low of me, we've been best mates for years, you're practically my sister! Don't you think I'll notice if there's something going on?"

Without thinking it twice, Lily blurted out, "I reckon I might fancy him."

"You what?!" Marlene exclaimed.

"I- I don't know really. It's stupid and I swore to myself I'd never fall for his stupid charm that all those other girls fell for. But it's not that! I didn't fall for his stupid charm I fell for who he truly is, and Merlin, Marlene, does that scare me..."

Speechless Marlene let her go on, "I've known him for years and I've never thought I'd become his friend, least of all I never thought I'd ever fancy him! But he's always there, he's always protecting me and comforting me. Not only these past few days, but this past year! I feel so safe when I'm in his arms and when he kissed me, Merlin... when he kissed me."

"Wait!" Marlene shot up from her chair. "He kissed you?!"

"Hush! Don't yell it!" Lily's eyes widened. "Before we came back to the party on Christmas, we... you know."

"And you didn't tell me?" Marlene was outraged. "You didn't tell me! And you've been keeping all of... all of this!" she motioned to the air around Lily. "I knew you were hiding something, but something like this? I had no idea!"

"I'm sorry, I was scared," Lily lowered her head and her shoulders slumped. "I don't want to like him, I don't want to fall for him. I just... I just want to be friends with him."

Marlene had to strain to hear Lily's barely audible whisper.

"Why?" she asked simply.

"Because he'd hurt me."

"Lily... I know James can be the biggest idiot sometimes, but he'd never hurt you. And you know that."

"If he doesn't hurt me, he'll get hurt because of me," Lily looked down at her hands resting on her lap. "He'll be in danger if he's with someone like me. People want to kill me, Marlene, for being who I am, it's hard enough that I have to fight for my family because I put them in danger. But I'm putting you and him and every one of my friends in danger and I don't want to do that."

"The Lily Evans I know isn't a coward," Lily cringed at the word Marlene used but she let her continue. "The Lily Evans I know fights for her friends, she does everything in her power to protect them. She doesn't let fear make decisions for her, she doesn't distance herself from the people who love her just because of what 'might happen' if they're close to her. She follows her heart, she knows what's worth fighting for. But most importantly, the Lily Evans I know isn't a coward."

Lily closed her eyes, she was always levelheaded. She had rarely cried in front of people. Lily was always composed and she hid her feelings well, but lately she had been scared. She had cried in front of people, twice! She'd read the Daily Prophet and her eyes would immediately tear up. She knew her family was in constant danger because they were who they were and because she was what she was. She knew her friends and their families were in danger. Merlin, her whole world was in danger and there was nothing she could do about it.

It felt like she was being submerged into ice cold, black water, it felt like she was sinking and the pressure of it all was increasing. Every time there was bad news, every time someone cried in front of her, or when she saw people get hurt she sunk even deeper into the abyss and there was no saving her.

Her throat started to constrict, she felt her airway close. She stood up and ran towards the door, she didn't stop until she reached the kitchen. She saw Sirius siting on the table laughing with James. She hadn't seen James so at ease in the past few days, his parents truly meant everything to him.

Without stopping she opened the backdoor that lead outside and closed it hastily behind her. The cold air didn't provide any relief, she stumbled forward and fell to her knees.

She was sinking deeper, she couldn't see the light anymore. She was still sinking and there was no hope. It wasn't something that had just spontaneously happened, she'd been sinking since her sister started hating her. She'd been sinking since the Slytherins had taunted and pestered her during her first year at Hogwarts. She had been sinking ever since she was introduced to the cruel and dark endeavors of Voldemort and his followers, and the pressure of it all was becoming unbearable.

Lily took a deep breath through her mouth and it caught in her throat, she lost it then. She was a mess of silent sobs and no tears came out but nevertheless she was shaking uncontrollably. The cold wind lashed at her skin, burning it and freezing it. She wasn't weak, Lily Evans wasn't weak. So why was she loosing it? Why was she always so close to the edge? Why was it that she had a knot in her throat everywhere she went? How many times could she break before she shattered?

Maybe it was because she had never been so close to Death Eaters and to death itself, she had always heard about everything happening. A whisper hear and there, a cry from a fellow student when they heard that they had been affected personally. She had heard about her friends' parents battling those who only wanted to cause destruction. Lily had never thought that she was going to be sought after. She never thought that her family was going to be in danger. Everything was just too much, she loved her life more than anything. She wouldn't change it for the world, but she didn't understand why she had to go through so much. Why did she have to be brought down?

Suddenly out of the cold darkness warm hands stopped her from sinking. They brought her up, where the pitch black water turned gray as they got closer to the surface and finally she was free from the black, freezing water. She was back in the embrace that made her feel so safe, the embrace that she clung to and didn't want to let go of.

"James," she shuddered into his shoulder. "Why... I've never... Why am I feeling like this?"

He held her closer, he tightened his arms around her shaking body. It hurt him so much that someone who he cared so much for felt like this. She had gone through so much and he knew she hid it well. Since their first year at Hogwarts Lily has had do deal with the Slytherin's sneering remarks. She had to go through the loss of her best friend, she lost him to the Dark Side no less. She had to be constantly aware of what was happening because if she let her guard down, she would be susceptible to being hurt by someone who was trying to harm her. She had been strong but even the strongest people break, and the fact that she broke after so long only meant that there's a lot that had been wanting to explode.

"Would you like to come with me?" James asked as he slowly got up from the snow, bringing Lily up with him.

Not asking where, Lily nodded. She looked up at James' worried stare. She never imagined she'd be breaking down in front of him.

He grabbed her hand and led her forward, towards the woods where the last rays of sunshine barely managed to pass through the naked trees. They kept walking, James gently pulled her hand as they walked, not saying a word, the only sound came from the crunch of the snow under their shoes.

Suddenly James lifted his free hand and started feeling the air aimlessly.

"What are you...?" Lily started.

"You see, this is the tricky part," James took a few steps forward. "It has so many protective charms around it that if you don't know exactly where it is you'll just pass right through it. It's not because we're not safe here, all of our land is ridiculously protected but this place is protected from me, dad, Sirius..."

"I'm not following," Lily didn't know what to do she just let herself be pulled by James.

"This is wher-" James suddenly stopped, his hand was flat in the air and then he moved it slowly down and he held some invisible doorknob. "A secret whispered at the air, shall grant you passage. Only those who distinguish beauty, shall appreciate it."

Suddenly a golden door appeared, just an unhinged door in the middle of the vast, snow covered clearing they stood in. James turned the knob and opened the door, quickly passing through it. When Lily passed underneath what should have been a doorframe, she felt as if she passed through warm water and suddenly there wasn't snow anymore, but instead the clearing was full of an array of beautiful roses and vibrant flowers. The grass was green and almost looked fake, the coldness of the snow and of the night disappeared, replaced with a warm breeze of a summer night.

"What...?" Lily breathed.

James smiled, "I shouldn't know about this place. This is a special place for my mum, she comes here and stays here for hours sometimes. She made sure no one would ever come, but of course I followed her one day and discovered this place."

Lily let go of his hand and walked ahead of him. It was the same clearing but it was completely different. It was closed in by vines with pink and white flowers that encircled the clearing like a great green wall. On the ground wherever there wasn't brilliant grass, there were bushes and shrubs with exotic looking leaves. There were flowers scattered here and there, there was a great vine of white and red roses forming a beautiful arch. Under the arch was a marble bench that sparkled with silver stars in the moonlight. The sun had dipped into the horizon completely, leaving a dark sky with a crescent moon.

"James.. this place is beautiful. I-"

"Come here," he interrupted and grabbed her hand firmly in his. "This is the best part."

He walked past the marble bench and stopped several feet away. There was only grass here, they were clearly in the middle of the clearing. He let go of her hand and laid down on the grass looking up at the sky. Lily bit her lip, hesitated for a second and then followed him to the grass. The grass was like a soft pillow under her head.

Her breath caught when she saw it. The sky was illuminated by millions of twinkling stars. She had never seen a night as clear as this one. There was always something covering the sky but tonight the faint light of the moon did not dim the stars. All Lily had wanted was to escape reality for a second. Forget about all the pain and fear. She wanted to clear her head and regain composure. Lily was always calm and when she wasn't, she didn't show it. Recently, with all the pestering at Hogwarts, all the threats, all the deaths, the close encounters her family and friends have come with death had scared her. She felt like crumpling in on herself, a new feeling that she did not welcome.

It'll only get worse from now on, she thought, but if I know where I stand and who stands with me, I know I'll make it through.

James had somehow crawled beside her, metaphorically, and now he was one of the people that stood beside her. He had always been there, Lily knew, but now it was different. Now, alongside Marlene, Alice, and her friends, the Marauders stood beside her facing the darkness and the pain that Voldemort and his followers brought.

Lily's bottom lip quivered and she shut her eyes tightly.

"Lily, are you-" James looked at her.

Above them, millions of stars shone but they weren't as bright as Lily. Nothing was as beautiful as Lily and she didn't even know it. They were so different, James knew, but she was all the different that he wanted. For everything that he wasn't, she was.

"I won't tell you it's all going to be okay," James whispered. "But I can tell you that I won't stop fighting for what's right, and for those that matter the most to me."

James has matured, Frank had said.

Lily didn't want to believe it, she had every right to believe he hadn't grown up. But here he was saying things like that, things that made her heart flutter and jump in her chest. A pain that was welcome, that felt as little butterflies were fluttering their wings in her stomach.

"Thank you," Lily whispered and her voice cracked.

She didn't say anything else but she opened her eyes again, through the tears she saw the twinkling stars overhead. She also noticed how close he was, their arms nearly touching. She felt the inexplicable need to scoot closer and feel his warmth against hers, but she shook that feeling away.

After what was probably hours of silence and staring at the sky she heard a rustle. Out of the corner of her eye she saw something move and turned her head. James was now propping himself up on his elbow looking at Lily with a curious gaze.

Lily stayed on the grass looking up at his bespectacled eyes. Suddenly Lily caught a glimpse of the corner of his lips twitching up. Slowly his free hand moved to her face and put a loose strand behind her ear, leaving his warm hand on her cheek. Lily's heart was now hammering in her chest, threatening to explode. James's face started to inch forward Lily stood motionless on the grass, her heartbeat paralysing her.

He stopped, a fraction of an inch away from her lips. She gasped slightly, he was letting her decide. It was hardly fair, she thought, he didn't leave her much room to decide, literally. She wanted it, after the party her view of James Potter had changed. She wanted to kiss him now, she wanted to be close to him, she wanted to hold him and be held by him. She didn't want to fall though, she didn't want to allow herself to be vulnerable, more than she already was. She had to concentrate on protecting her family and her friends, she had to study harder to do so. Lily wanted to pull away but it felt so right in a world so full of wrong.

Lily lifted her head slowly, meeting his lips with her own gently. James tensed, had he not been expecting this all along? She had caught him off guard but now he moved his lips softly against hers. There was something sweet about this kiss, he had always wanted more. He had always wanted passion and heat with Lily Evans, but this sweet loving kiss was more than he could have asked for.

He rolled onto his back and Lily followed, partially laying on top of him, his frantic heart was hammering against hers. James slid his hands to her waist and Lily held his face tenderly in her hands. She hummed softly against his lips and he took a deep breath. They rolled again and then Lily gasped, they had reached a small hill and they rolled a couple of times before James landed with a crack on an exotic looking bush with yellow flowers.

Lily looked down at James wide eyed and James searched her eyes for a hint of something. Was she going to hit him, was she going to yell? Lily's lips twitched and she burst out laughing.

"Oh, you won't be so giddy once my mother finds out you destroyed her plants," James joined her laugh with his.

"I destroyed it?" she grabbed a handful of his shirt in her hands. "You're the one laying on the shrub!"

James' smile turned wicked, he grabbed Lily's waist firmly and rolled them over. He propped himself on his elbows and knees so as to not put too much pressure on her.

"Now you're the one on the poor shrubs," this only made Lily laugh harder.

He knew that the tears that were leaving her eyes weren't only tears of mirth, but also tears of sadness. He wanted to hold her tight and reassure her that everything was going to be just fine, but he knew it wasn't. He knew that from now on it only gets worse. He understood how she felt in a certain degree. His parents were out there fighting evil, his friends were still in Hogwarts and they were fighting. Her family was on the receiving end of all the evil, his family was trying to stop it, and Voldemort and his minions were causing the pain and suffering.

Lily looked up at his smiling eyes, and suddenly realization dawned on her, she was looking at James Potter's eyes from her comfortable position underneath him. A rush of heat flowed into her cheeks and she cleared her throat. She thanked Merlin that it was night and he couldn't see her whole face reddening darker and darker by the second, at least she hoped he didn't notice. They had kissed, again, and she had had liked it, again. She had kissed him this time. What had gotten into her? It was definitely James Potter's plan to take advantage of her and he surely knew that star gazing was one of her favorite things. Lily kept trying to make James be at fault in her head but she knew that it wasn't his fault. She'd wanted this and she was enjoying this and that was what freaked her out the most. Was it okay to let yourself feel and be happy when everyone else was suffering?

Lily rolled from under James to lie beside him and he sighed. He knew he was taking it too far. He wanted Lily for so long and now that he could actually have her, he was pushing too far. All he wanted to do was kick himself for being so careless. He was always measured and when he wanted a girl he'd be controlled and he did things to make them go bonkers for him. Now with Lily, he felt out of his game. But then again, Lily wasn't just a game to him. She wasn't like those bimbos who let him take advantage of them. Lily was special and he couldn't afford to lose her because Lily was slowly turning into his everything.

"Sorry, I-"

"We should go back," Lily said. "It must be really late."

James stood up and held out his hand for Lily. She grabbed it begrudgingly and let go of it as soon as she was on her feet.

They walked out of the garden and through the forest in silence. The cold night hit them once they stepped out the door. It had possibly gotten colder or it was just because there was no sun but they both shivered as they only had light clothing. Lily realised then that he had burst out of the kitchen right after her and hadn't gotten a coat for the cold or anything to cover himself with.

He definitely must have known he was going to bring you to that beautiful garden and take advantage of your weakened state, Lily thought. Don't be ridiculous! He's changed, everyone says that and you've seen it yourself.

Lily tripped and James had asked if she was alright. For some reason Lily was still blushing and it wasn't from the cold. She straightened up and walked faster, leaving James behind. She was still fast walking when she heard a laugh a few ways behind her. She turned around and saw James a good ten meters behind her.

"What are you doing?" she fumed.

"What am I doing?" he smirked. "What are you doing?"

"Going back to your house, of course!"

He chuckled and pointed to his right, "Well, it's this way."

Lily, embarrassed, started walking towards him.

"You're infuriating!" Lily scoffed and walked the right way towards the house.

Back to normal, I suppose, James sighed and walked after her.

...

"Why'd you come home so late?"

Lily was sprawled on her bed face down, her head between four pillows and her body was covered in a very warm, purple comforter. She was very comfortable and after barely getting any sleep last night, she wanted to stay where she was.

Maybe, if I don't answer, they'll go away, Lily thought.

"I'm not leaving..." Marlene said and Lily felt her bed move as her best friend lied beside her.

Lily opened her eyes slowly, through the pillows she could see the window that was almost completely covered by curtains. She saw the creamy white walls and a patch of dark wood illuminated by the silvery morning light. Her eyes fell on her wand that lay on her bedside table beside a few pieces of parchment and a spell book she had snuck up from the library. She considered hexing Marlene to prevent the awkward conversation that was coming but thought otherwise.

"I was home all last night," Lily decided to lie.

"Then why did I hear you and James come in through the kitchen door last night?" Marlene said from Lily's other side.

Lily turned her head around and looked at Marlene who was lying beside her looking at the ceiling. Wanting to divert the attention to Marlene instead of herself, she thought about something that was bugging her and her eyebrow quirked up.

"Why were you up so late, anyway?" Lily voiced her question.

Suddenly, Marlene's eyes widened and she looked uncomfortable, "I was hungry...?"

It sounded more like a question than a statement.

"I didn't see you in the kitchen," Lily said.

"Oh... It's, it's be- because I had already left," Marlene said unconvincingly.

"Right..." Lily laughed, not believing her best friend.

"Stop trying to change the topic! I asked you why you and a certain cousin of mine came home at one in the morning last night!" a flustered looking Marlene said.

"We went exploring," Lily didn't want to reveal Dorea's not-so-secret garden.

"Exploring?" it was Marlene's turn to raise her eyebrow.

"And there were some words exchanged," Lily added.

"Just words?" Marlene smirked.

"And maybe a kiss," Lily muttered.

"No way!" Marlene laughed. "Lily! You little slut, you!"

"I regretted it right when it happened!" Lily groaned, leaving out the fact that she had actually enjoyed it.

"But why?" Marlene wondered.

Lily propped herself up on her elbow, "Why what?"

"I thought you were in love with him," Marlene laughed. "Why did you regret it if you are more than willing to have his babies."

Lily, mortified, grabbed a pillow and started hitting Marlene with it.

"You. Are. So. Wrong!" Lily yelled as she hit Marlene with every word. "I'm not in love with him! I only kind of, barely feel odd when I'm with him."

Grabbing the pillow and throwing it across the room, Marlene sat up, "Don't give me that rubbish. You like him, simple as that."

Lily suddenly remembered what had happened the night before when Marlene had yelled at her. A sudden twinge of annoyance surged through her and she stood up, having just a little trouble as she tried to untangle herself from the sheets and the bed spread.

"Maybe I do," Lily started seriously. "Maybe I do feel something when I'm with him but that doesn't mean that I'm going to change because of it. I'm going to concentrate on getting stronger. I'm going to learn how to fight and I'm going to do everything in my power to protect the people I love. There's no time to fall in love or to be a silly little teenager and run around with your silly little crush. Maybe I do like him, Mar, but that won't stop me from getting stronger and I'm pretty sure that doesn't make me a coward. That just makes me a teenager that has to grow up because that's what living in the midst of a war merits."

Marlene looked at Lily from her place on the bed. Lily noticed that her nostrils were flaring and she was grabbing the bed spread tightly, her knuckles turning white. To Lily's surprise, Marlene suddenly got off the bed, any pretense of being happy and making jokes was gone.

"You know, Lily, my parents and James' parents and so many of our parents are fighting so we can be silly little teenagers. I think it would be insulting if we ignore their efforts. They want us to have a normal life, they're fighting so we can grown up and so our kids don't have to go through what we're going through. This- this war, Voldemort wants to kill and destroy and I'm scared too, Lily! You're not the only one that's afraid for their family. I live with the constant fear that someday I'll get a letter telling me that I don't have a family anymore. And there sure as hell isn't anything wrong with falling in love! There's nothing wrong with stupid teenage crushes, but if that's how you feel then do whatever you want. Deny yourself happiness, just know that if you do that, you're letting them win."

With that Marlene turned around and walked out the door. Lily sighed and collapsed back onto the bed.

...

Knock, knock, knock

Lily groaned and rolled on to her back. The light coming in through the gaps of the curtains was bright, it was probably mid afternoon. She just stayed there, not wanting to move. Her conversation with Marlene was still fresh on her mind. She wondered why Marlene had felt so offended when she had mentioned "silly little crushes". Marlene should not have been offended... unless-

"Evans?" James said as he stood by the now open door.

Lily groaned again, she sat up and for some reason she became acutely aware of how thin her pyjama top was and how short her pyjama bottoms were. She sat cross legged on the bed and covered herself with the bed spread.

"Yes?" Lily sighed, still trying to cover herself up without being too obvious.

"I just came to tell you that I talked to my parents," he was unsure, he didn't know if he should walk in or just stand by the door. James Potter was never unsure.

"Oh?" Lily was slight aggravated by his presence. Did he want a pat on the back?

"About your family," he clarified.

Lily immediately stopped messing around with the bed spread and sat extremely still, looking at him with a serious expression.

"I told them about the Death Eaters at your home, mind you, they weren't thrilled about us being there," he sighed as he remembered how upset his parents had been. "They said that there was going to be an Auror there at all times in case they show up again, at least for a few weeks. Dad also said that he was going to send someone to investigate everyone affiliated to magic in the surrounding area."

"So they'll be safe?" Lily said in a barely audible whisper.

"Very," James nodded. "The Ministry will try to have someone there and if there's no one available they will put up protective spells as a precautionary measure."

"Wh- what do you mean 'if there's no one available'?" Lily tried to keep the hurt out of her voice.

"Well..." James seemed uncomfortable. "Your family isn't the only one in danger. Aurors have to always be available and sometimes urgent things happen and they have to go. That's why they're going to put protective wards up, in case that ever happens."

"I understand," Lily said faintly.

She knew that sometimes Death Eater attacks were massive and there weren't Aurors to spare. Her family having protective spells around their house was more than she could have bargained for. There were also going to be Aurors checking in. They were going to be fine, they were safe as long as they stayed home.

"That was all," James smiled sadly at her and left before she could thank him.

It was really hard for Lily to suppress her feelings for him when he kept proving himself to be an amazing person.

Rereading the HP series = More story updates

By the way, I've edited the previous chapters, it probably isn't perfect but it'll be better than before.

Thank you,

MarLey