Author's note: Hi, guys! I'm back! *dodge projectiles* Please don't be mad! I knnow I took a long time but better late than never, right? Anyway, I bought the KnB DVD and is so happy! Well, here's the fourth chapter. Read and review :)

Chapter 4

Good Friend: Will bail you out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting on the bench next to you saying "Damn! That was fun! Let's do it again!"

For not the first time that day, Midorima wondered what had he done to deserve this fate. He was not rebellious, he listened to his elders, he treated everyone equally yet Fate seemed to have some sort of personal vendetta against him.

"Midorimacchi, are you akay?"

"Ignore him, Kise. Four eyes just need to get laid."

"If you say so, Aominecchi~"

Midorima's eyes narrowed. No, it was not Fate that had some sort of personal vendetta against him, after all, he always followed Oha Asa. It was these two imbeciles that caused him to be in his current predicament. Sighing, he let his mind wonder.

It had all started, he supposed, when Oha Asa announced that Cancers had the worst luck and that he should bring his lucky item for the day, a bloodied knife, everywhere. He did not want to be called a murderer so he went to a toy shop and bought a plastic knife with fake blood instead. Deeming it good enough, he brought it anywhere with him though he let the prop to stay inside its packaging and the plastic bag due to obvious reason. But, he should have known that it was bound to attract the curiousity of his teammates, especially two certain troublemakers.

He was immediately attacked with questions the moment her entered the gym.

"Nee, nee, Midorimacchi? What's that?"

"My lucky item."

"What is it?"

"A knife with blood on it."

"Eh?! Midorimacchi, did you kill someone?!"

Midorima pinched the bridge of his nose and replied, "Of course not, idiot. It's just a Halloween prop."

Kise's eyes sparkled and as if sensing something bad, Akashi immediately dragged Kuroko away from the soon to be chaotic place while Kuroko merely followed his lover.

"Nee, nee, can I see it?"

"No."

"Midorimacchi, so mean~"

Aomine then just had to choose that time to hear the conversation and his curiousity just had to be looking for something new as well.

"Oi, Kise, Midorima. What are you doing?"

Kise perked up and waved Aomine over. Midorima wanted to run but unfortunately, Kise gained a mysterious strength from God-knows-where to be able to hold him in place. Aomine took the plastic bag from Midorima and his eyes shined when he saw it.

The first sign of danger.

"Woah! So cool! Oi, Midorima! Why didn't you show us this before?"

"I don't see the need to, nanodayo!"

Kise and Aomine grinned and Midorima wondered if this was the right time to use the tickets his uncle had given him in the rare case he wanted to visit Siberia.

"Hey, let's play detective. I can be the detective, Kise the victim and Midorima the murderer."

Before Midorima could say anything, Kise had already whined about not wanting to be killed. Midorima tried to look for Momoi or even Murasakibara to get him out of this situation but sadly, Momoi had gone home while Murasakibara was sick and had to stay at home. During the time that Midorima was figuring out how to save himself, Aomine and Kise's argument had changed from who will be the murder victim to who will be the scary mafia boss that wanted to terrorize Tokyo.

"I should be it, right Midorimacchi?"

"Huh?! What are you talking about, Kise? I'm the one that fits the role."

"Wait a minute! How did it become an argument to be a mafia boss?"

"You see, Midorimacchi, Aominecchi thought that it will be boring for it to be a simple murder so we decided to terrorize Tokyo."

"What?!"

The second sign of danger.

Unfortunately for Midorima, a student just happened to pass by and accidentally heard the last part. His eyes widened in horror when the student called the police and soon, they were surrounded.

"Put your hands in the air and kneel on the ground with your back turned."

The police, however, did not expect Aomine to laugh and said, "Wow! You should have told us that you hired some people to be the cop, Midorima. Now, we can go all out."

Midorima snapped, "I did not! And what do you mean go all out?"

Kise grinned and took out something from his school bag. Midorima started to hyperventilate and slowly he said, "Please tell me that's not the bomb that Akashi had made the other day when you guys decided to stupidly find out his weakness."

Kise only stuck his tongue out to the corner of his mouth and replied, "Tee hee."

"Tee hee, my ass! Put that back!"

"No can do, Midorimacchi! Are you ready, Aominecchi?"

"Yeah!"

The third and final, undeniable sign of danger.

Before Midorima could do anything, Kise threw the bomb towards the numerous police car and as expected, it exploded upon contact.

"Woah! Akashi really is a monster. That thing was more powerful than a normal grenade. Right, Midorima, Kise?"

"Ano… Aominecchi, I think Midorimacchi fainted."

"What are you talking about, Kise? He's just brushing his teeth while sleeping. Look, there're even foams at his mouth."

"Oh, you're right! So, what should we do, Aominecchi?"

"Why don't we take him with us? He'll be angry if we leave him out of the fun."

Thus, the unconscious Midorima was carried by the two oblivious idiots that were unaware of the chain reaction they had just started. Meanwhile, Momoi was completing her homework, Murasakibara was resting while Akashi and Kuroko were watching movies in Akashi's room. None of them were aware of the chaos that would soon unfold.

After a few hours, Midorima woke up and was surprised to see that he was lying on a luxurious couch that he could only see at Akashi's mansion. Kise and Aomine noticed him waking up and gave him some water to soothe his parched throat.

"Where am I?"

"You're at our hideout, Midorimacchi."

Midorima spit out his drink and looked at them incredulously. Kise, oblivious, continued, "While you were brushing your teeth while sleeping, it's an amazing trick by the way, we took the liberty to set up our hideout and carried you here. Now, we even have around two hundred subordinates."

Midorima looked around the room properly and paled when he saw some not so friendly-faced guys loiter around the room. When they saw that he woke up, they lined up in front of him, bowed and yelled, "Did you have a nice nap, Midorima-sama?" Midorima started to hyperventilate again but fortunately or unfortunately, depending on whose point of view, Aomine's slap to his back calmed him down before he could faint again.

Midorima looked at the two imbeciles and hissed, "How on earth did you two managed to make them to be your subordinates, nanodayo?!" He pointed at the still lining subordinates. Aomine scratched his cheek and said, "Well, we just took out some guns-"

"What guns?!" Midorima interrupted. He knew he should not have asked but he just had to know.

"The guns that Akashicchi brought when we wanted to see if he could shoot every kind of gun the other day. He forgot to bring it back."

"Achoo!"

"Bless you, Sei-kun." Kuroko gave Akashi a handkerchief to rub his nose with.

"Arigato, Tetsuya."

Akashi rubbed his nose and they continued watching the movie. Back to the idiots, Midorima looked at the direction that Kise was pointing at. Lo and behold, every type of firearms, ranging from simple handgun to a bazooka, was there. Midorima turned whiter. Aomine, misunderstanding his horror for awe, nodded and said, "It's awesome, right? When Kise and I fired them at the crowd-"

"The crowd?!"

Aomine continued as if unaffected by Midorima's outburst, "Man, we were crazy back then! The police and military tried to stop us but then, these guys showed up shouting how we're their leader and helped us escape."

Midorima was feeling faint and his body was swaying but Kise, again misunderstanding, thought that Midorima was excited and decided to drop the bomb.

"I know you're excited, Midorimacchi. That's why I know you'll be happy if you know we're raiding the National Bank in ten minutes."

His pride be damned! Midorima fainted again.

"Wow! I really want to learn that trick. That way we won't be late for school, right Aominecchi?"

"Uh-huh. I wonder if he installed a special compartment for toothpaste inside his mouth."

When Midorima woke up for the third time that day, he was sitting, mafia boss-style, on a chair and saw that Kise, Aomine and the goons were celebrating their victory. They also stupidly decided to do it in the same place that they had just robbed. Within minutes, military, police and authorities had surrounded the place. A shooting war ensued and of course, the inexperienced high schoolers lost.

They were taken to prison and Midorima knew Akashi would not stop at just quadrupling their amount of practice. He shuddered to think what kind of hell he would go through. Suddenly, staying in prison sounded like a better option. Midorima was contemplating how to break the news to his family when he heard Aomine.

"Damn! That was fun! Let's do it again!"

"Of course. The three of us can do it again, right Midorimacchi?"

With a roar of pure anger, Midorima lunged at the two of them.

"Sir! Sir!"

A lower ranking police officer addressed his superior in a panic while said superior barely glanced from his newspaper.

"What is it?"

"One of the prisoners is trying to kill his cellmates!"

"Holy shit! Let's go!"

That day, Midorima vowed to never step out of his house if his lucky item of the day happened to be something that can bring disastrous results.

~Omake 1~

When Midorima, Kise and Aomine were released from prison two days later without any criminal records, courtesy of Akashi, they were afraid of what to expect at practice later. When they entered the gym, Akashi seemed to be in a very good mood so they decided not to push their luck and practiced as usual.

When practiced ended an hour earlier than usual, they were skeptical but let it slide. There was no way of knowing what Akashi was thinking. It was then that Kise realized something.

"Akashicchi."

"Yes, Ryota?"

"Where's Kurokocchi?"

Here Akashi smiled, SMILED, at them and replied, "Ah. Tetsuya's legs can't support him so he will be staying at my house for a few days. That's also one of the reasons why I ended practice earlier."

After answering, Akashi promptly left. He TWIRLED around and walked out of the gym while HUMMING a merry tune. Midorima, Kise, Momoi, Murasakibara and Aomine shivered. They thought that Akashi could not get any scarier. They were wrong.

~Omake 2~

Kuroko was taking a shower when Akashi received a call from the police station. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose to soothe the incoming headache.

"I see. Thank you for informing me, officer. When can they get out of jail?"

I will kill them for interrupting my time with Tetsuya.

"Unfortunately, they won't be able to get out today, Akashi-sama. As the crime is quite severe, the earliest would be Sunday evening. Even with your family's influence."

Akashi was about to say something when he realized something. Slowly, a smile spread and he said cheerfully, "Oh? Is that so? I understand. I will bail them out on Sunday evening then."

He hung up and the smile on his face turned into a smirk.

Today is Friday and it's already night. They will be out by Sunday. So that means I'll have Tetsuya all by myself until Sunday. Not that I need this incident for that to happen. Tetsuya is mine and mine alone.

Suddenly, Kuroko shivered.

"Is it even possible to feel cold when you are taking a hot shower?"