6: The Phoenix

.

To say that Miranda Lawson was unhappy was an understatement. Alex had but known her a short while, yet in that relatively brief period of time, she had come quite quickly to learn that the Normandy's second in Command was not the most outwardly happy person at any given time. However it was clear from the incessant click, click, click of her heels slapping against the metal grated floor as a result of her pacing at that moment, she was undoubtedly more unhappy than usual.

If the blonde were being honest, she would admit to some annoyance on her own part at being left behind. The thought of her best friend being off on some planet that wasn't earth was a head-trip in its own right, but the fact that she would be being shot at by… 'aliens'? That was so much more disturbing. The word even felt foreign in her head, yet she'd seen enough of them pass by the window of the med bay to know that they were very much real.

She checked to the left and right briefly as she exited the elevator to make sure no extra-terrestrial life forms were milling about the CIC before ducking as far left as she could manage, hoping it was well out of the perky, redheaded yeoman's sights.

The woman had somehow become her shrink while on board, and her excessive happiness and understanding gaze had already begun to grate at her relatively thin nerves. It wasn't that she disliked the yeoman, but being forced to talk about her feelings and being looked at as if she didn't know a thing at all was at the bottom of her list of fun activities.

Heading towards the cockpit, she was stopped by her own surprise upon the revelation of another figure, leaning over the pilot's shoulder and for the most part ignoring the Cerberus operative's pacing.

As if hearing her chain of thought, Miranda turned to face her with a look of what could only be described as intrigue. Strangely enough, it was coupled with frustration and a great deal of dissatisfaction, serving to completely obfuscate her thoughts from those attempting to read them from her face.

"I'm surprised. I was beginning to think that you wouldn't leave the mess until our food stocks had been depleted." The raven haired woman remarked, her tone dry and face unchanging.

"What makes you think they aren't?" Alex replied, her eyes quickly darting to the hooded figure behind Miranda, who had since turned to face them. The figure was clearly that of a woman, whose lips were painted and eyes held a mischievous glint, but the shadow that veiled half of her face disquieted Alex instantly.

"Ooh, is this our resident crazy? And here I thought I would be the creepiest crew member aboard." The shadowy woman remarked, eyes scrutinizing every inch of the blonde, who suddenly felt as if she were under review.

"Sorry. I've definitely got you beat there."

"I'll say. You really don't remember space travel? Or aliens?" The woman watched Alex's non reaction with amazement. "Yep, you're definitely crazy. But hey, if there's one thing I've learned from my time in the biz: sane is boring, crazy is so much more fun!" The woman winked - before disappearing seemingly into thin air.

"What the hell!" Alex's eyes looked ready to fall from their sockets. Her shock was apparently hilarious, because she heard a soft titter behind her, and even Miranda cracked a smile, which shocked the blonde even more. She couldn't quite decide which occurrence was the more miraculous of the two.

"You're almost amusing, I'll give you that." The operative remarked, before nodding to the pilot and stalking off.

Alex didn't know whether to be happy that the brunette seemed to have given her some form of approval – almost - or offended that she had become everyone's dancing monkey on the ship.

"Don't worry. I think that was actually a compliment. It's difficult to tell with Miranda, I know." The chair-bound man said, breaking into her amazed reverie.

"Great." The blonde replied, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably, still nervous around so many unfamiliar faces. "So uhm, what was that all about?"

"The disappearing? Hah, you should have seen your face. Like a little kid who still believes in magic."

"Not that, I meant the congregation forming up here."

"Oh, Miranda's been tracking Shepard's movements. Doesn't surprise me. She's a little bit of a control freak. Just, don't tell her I said that – I'm fragile." He bemoaned, gently waggling an arm for emphasis. "Anyway, it looks like the Commander's running into a lot more trouble than expected. Miranda wants to lead a team down there to assist."

"And the other one?"

"That's Kasumi. I think she just likes snooping around."

"Actually, Miss Goto was here to discuss taking part in the secondary ground team's mission, Jeff." A female robotic voice chimed in, making Joker groan. Alex had learned this 'AI' was part of the crew, and had taken it in her stride quite admirably. She had given up being surprised by anything anymore.

…Except in the case of her more recent discovery of invisibility. That was a whole other kind of head-trip.

"Is that where she's going now? To head a team down there?"

Joker paused his bickering with EDI for a moment to nod his head, before resuming his tirade about the qualities of a silent ship and the numerous ways in which he could get rid of an interfering AI.

Alex heard little of it. She had already begun sprinting to catch up with Miranda. The woman hadn't made it far before the blonde managed to intercept her with a determined look upon her face.

"I'm going with you." She spoke firmly, without even the sense to have a trace of fear in her eyes when regarding the cool Cerberus operative before her. Miranda regarded her coldly, raising a brow.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"I need to be down there."

"You need to be admitted into a psychiatric ward." The Cerberus woman answered dismissively, beginning to walk away.

"I'm not taking no for an answer. She's my friend, and if she's in trouble I need to help!"

"I am not about to take a bumbling amnesiac - who only yesterday had no idea how to fire a gun properly - out onto a battlefield. That's not help, that's a liability." Her tone was final, but Alex had suffered just enough brain trauma in her life to ignore it completely, continuing to follow after the Operative into the elevator.

"I can fight! I know I can." She didn't in fact. At most, she was confident she would be able to operate her gun in at least the right direction as her targets. It didn't change the fact that she sorely needed to go. If she was in fact honest with herself, she would admit that it was not entirely to do with a wish to help her friend. No matter which universe she remembered, which reality she could think of, she knew above all else that Victoria Shepard could take care of herself. Instead, the desperation to see what was below stemmed more from Alex's doubts. She needed to see what was out there. This other world. Even more, she needed the gunfire and horror to help her understand what her life had been before.

"You don't have any armour." Miranda replied tersely, her patience beginning to wear thin.

"So? I saw that Jack chick headed down there in straps! You're wearing a damn leotard!"

Miranda ground her teeth, eyes narrowing dangerously. A sharp tendril of fear crept icily down Alex's spine making her regret her words in an instant.

"Can you conjure a biotic barrier to protect yourself?"

Alex remained silent, swallowing nervously but refusing to back down.

"Didn't think so."

"Please Miranda. I need this."

"No. There is no way I am taking an untrained, unfit and ill-equipped civilian into battle. I am not bringing you down there!"

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIX

"I can't believe I brought you down here." Miranda hissed to herself, crouching behind cover. Flicking her gaze back to the blonde woman behind her, she observed quickly how she was doing, as she had been wont to do throughout their entire excursion so far. The Operative mentally slapped herself upside the head, attributing what was without a doubt the most idiotic tactical decision she had ever made to being slowly driven mad by the woman they were attempting to aid.

The name Victoria Shepard was increasingly common on her tongue, used in a fit of annoyance every time something bad happened.

Reports were left unsatisfactorily bare because the woman was so unfathomable. Miranda was snapping at little things that she should have risen above and ignored. And now, she was bringing insane and unqualified non-combatants on missions with her.

She shook her head in disgust. Not once had she ever worked in such a frustrating and irksome environment. All the stress was clearly going to her head.

"Just stay down!"

"What? I'm helping." Alex replied innocently.

Of course, if your definition of helping is occasionally landing a few shots and putting an almost dent in their armour while continually distracting me. Miranda sighed. Having Alex there made her constantly on edge. While Mordin and Kasumi were working hard at her side, the Operative was simply making sure her barrier stretched to protect the younger woman as well every time she peeked out from cover.

For the most part, the other woman had indeed been more a hindrance than a help, with Miranda's eyes constantly darting towards her. If she ended up getting herself killed, Miranda could only imagine the shit storm that would occur between herself and Shepard. As if things between us weren't bad enough already, Miranda sighed.

Still, the Cerberus woman had to concede that she hadn't done anything dangerously foolish yet, so luck it seemed was on their side.

"Move up!" Miranda shouted as she took out the last remaining collector in the area, pushing forward towards Shepard's last known position with haste.

From what she'd seen on the video feeds, the other team were under majorly heavy fire. A colossal creature had hounded them relentlessly, firing devastating beams most predominantly at the Commander. All the while, husks had been harrying them from all sides. Miranda wouldn't have acted on that alone. As much as she loathed to admit it, she was confident in the red headed woman's abilities as a fighter.

When the problem was compounded by the fact that electronic blocking stations had been set up to prevent EDI from finishing her work on re-aligning the Alliance's laser turrets however, Miranda knew she would have to act. Without those turrets, the Collector ship would be able to drop off as many re-enforcements as necessary. The team wouldn't stand a chance.

"What the hell are they doing?" Alex whispered, snapping the other woman from her reverie.

They had rounded the corner to be confronted by dozens of frozen civilians, staring vacantly. Helpless. Collectors were milling around them, escorting pods away from the scene.

"Wow, your memory really is terrible. I'm pretty sure we told you about the Collectors already." Kasumi fizzled into appearance beside Alex, making her jump. The thief chuckled. "That never gets old."

"I know what the Collectors are doing. I meant I wonder what they're doing with the colonists after they… y'know… collect them."

Mordin shifted slightly. "Unknown. Likelihood of survival: poor. Purpose: Impossible to determine. Sure this was discussed earlier also. Your memory is questionable. Could run tests, if you'd like."

Alex just eyed him, annoyed before turning back to the colonists and readying her gun. It was still a little shaky in her hands, as if it didn't quite belong there. She really couldn't imagine how she used to be any good at the whole shooting thing. As it was, the help she'd promised Miranda was in relatively short supply.

Miranda signalled for the team to move forward and Alex flicked her gaze back up to the area ahead, surveying it for the best piece of cover she could find, when something caught her eye. "Wait." She pointed discreetly. "I recognise that woman."

The others looked to where her hand directed them, seeing what looked like a soldier poised and ready to fight. But like all the other colonists they'd seen so far, she was unmoving, gripping her gun tightly without the ability to use it. Dark eyes flicked each and every way holding enough pissed off action woman vibes for Alex to be suitably sure she didn't want to be the one they were aimed at.

Miranda squinted. "Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. The Illusive Man mentioned she was stationed here."

Alex just looked at her questioningly, forcing the Operative to sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose.

"You probably saw her on the news. She was part of the crew from the first Normandy that helped liberate the Citadel under Shepard."

Kasumi hummed impishly, eyes twinkling with mischief. "Rumour has it that she spent a lot of time more closely under Shepard than was professional. The romance, the regulations; you can practically taste the scandal!"

The thief winked at the blonde, who nearly choked on her tongue. That was some imagery of her best friend that she really could have lived without.

"We've got more trouble."

More Collectors had come forward, taking the soldier by the arms and dragging her towards the pods. The look in her eyes was a mixture panic and fury, but she was unable to act on either. Instead, her legs traipsed behind her as she was pulled towards her fate.

"Ready?" The Cerberus Operative whispered, biotic energy sizzling around her as she cocked her arm back ready to unleash holy hell on their unsuspecting enemies. Her teammates nodded.

"Now!" She pushed a hand out forcefully and Alex watched in amazement as one of the Collectors grappling the Gunnery Chief flew forwards and slammed head first into a thick white wall with a sickening crunch. The other dropped the soldier instantly, reaching for his gun before being brought down by a silent blade, slipped in his back by a thief that had appeared behind him only a second before.

A final pair of foes turned, rifles in hand and took aim at Kasumi as she ducked into cover but they never had chance to fire. Both went down in an instant, Alex and Mordin lowering their guns.

All in the area had been taken care off quickly and effectively as Miranda liked it, and Alex almost wanted to high five from the elation of actually taking her first enemy down. She felt however that that would probably be a bad idea, and decided to keep her both hands and her adrenaline fuelled jubilation to herself.

The team rushed over to the fallen woman, frozen face down on the ground. Alex turned her over, pushing the hair that had escaped her bun from out of her eyes. Eyeing her speculatively, she found herself frustrated at another missing piece of the puzzle that was her memory. Someone she recognized but didn't remember.

"We should bring her with us." The blonde suggested.

Miranda raised an incredulous brow, looking at her like she was insane. Alex only found it funny. She likely was.

"Why would we do that? She's of absolutely no use to us whatsoever."

"Tori will probably want to talk to her. She said they were… y'know." She pointed at Kasumi, feeling incredibly awkward that she was talking about this right in front of the woman in question, who could do nothing but stare agitatedly at them all, paralysed.

"We have no idea how long it will take for the sting's effect to wear off."

"Well I dunno, give her some of that heal-y stuff. That might help. And I'll carry her 'til she can walk again."

Kasumi apparently thought that was hilarious, because a sudden bout of laughter erupted from her. "This girl is priceless. We're keeping her right?"

XIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXXIXXIXIX

Shepard grimaced, wiping a bloodied hand across her face that painted deep red streaks onto her skin. It didn't make much difference to her overall appearance, as blood had already been seeping for some time from a slashing wound that crisscrossed on her cheek and stretched over her eye onto her forehead. Her vision to the right was blurred, and she had to continually wheel around at every groaning sound she heard to avoid being flanked by husks.

The situation looked dire, with Garrus already unconscious and being dragged by her side as she pulled him into cover. Jack provided support, sending shockwave after shockwave at the creatures that came racing toward them, arms outstretched and mouths gaping like something from a horror film.

Dropping Garrus against a wall behind shelter, she charged forward at the nearest incoming horde, smashing fist first into a husk that was sent flying backwards in the air. The next one's skull was crushed by the weight of her shotgun. Shaking in pain, the whole group of them were enveloped in an area warp from Jack that made Shepard grin despite the circumstances.

She leapt into the air, biotic energy surrounding her in an instant and with a guttural scream of effort came crashing to the dirt with a powerful punch that shook the ground with brutal force. The detonation it triggered exploded around her, ripping the creatures apart in an instant.

Before she could celebrate however, she heard a by then all too familiar hiss signifying the arrival of another Collector praetorian, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand to attention, as if they were as horrified as she was.

"God fucking damn it!"

The words had barely escaped her lips before she was forced to dive out of the way of an energy beam that ripped its way past her by centimetres.

"Shit another one? How many of these fuckers do they have Shepard?" Jack cursed, ducking into cover beside Garrus' prone form.

Shepard glared through searing pain in her skull. "Oh hold on a minute, let me just ask them?" She bit back sarcastically. "Hey Collectors, how many more of these things do you have? Jack wants to know!"

"Well could you tell 'em to quit with the husks to while you're at it?"

Victoria laughed in spite of herself.

"Sure. We've been at this so long I'd say me and the Collectors are like this." She crossed her fingers together with a grin, before rolling from another devastating attack.

She wasn't actually sure how long they'd been at it at all. Trapped in what was beginning to feel like an arena, as ancient Gladiators spilling blood on the sand for the roar of the crowd. Only the crowd had left hours ago and the Emperor had given the thumbs-down signal to seal a fate that they still refused to stop fighting.

"EDI, what the hell is going on with the Alliance Turret?"

"Blocking stations are preventing me from fully re-aligning it Commander. A second team is working on destroying them."

"A second team?" Shepard muttered to herself, her first thought immediately being of Miranda. Of course the Cerberus woman would be unable to stay behind, she thought. The woman was as headstrong and assertive as an oncoming truck. In the current circumstances however she wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or elated; though when a husk collided with her on her from the right, she settled on elated.

"Shepard!" Jack's voice was almost drowned out by the hoarse groaning that the creature above her expelled.

"It's cool. I've got it!" Her reply was strained, and a little less convincing when followed by a grunt of pain as a desiccated fist struck her cheek. She laughed regardless, spitting the blood from her mouth.

"Is that all you've got? My dead father hit me harder than that, and he was too drunk to stand up straight. This is how you hit someone." She gripped her gun tightly, swinging it with all her strength into the side of her attacker's skull, but before she could pull the trigger and blast said skull from its shoulders, a hail of bullets ripped into its back.

Looking up, her eyes met five figures on the balcony of one of the buildings situated above the expansive doors that had locked her team in the gauntlet of death they'd been facing for what felt like days.

Seeing her saviour however, in white and pink armour, lowering her rifle, almost stopped her heart. Ash.

"Commander, the blocking stations are down. The Alliance Turret will be operational in approximately two minutes."

Victoria couldn't even muster enough semblance of mind to form a reply, instead staring breathlessly at the woman on the balcony, as if she hadn't seen her in years. It was difficult to remind herself that in actual fact, she hadn't. Ashley's dark eyes were troubled, staring back at the Commander with unfathomable emotion in their depths, and for a few moments Shepard completely forgot how to perform simple respiration.

Another volley of gunfire sounded, snapping her from her reverie as she noticed the husk drop down behind her. She could almost feel Miranda roll her eyes without even having to see it.

Quickly springing back into action, she sent a series of biotic bursts into a throng of enemies. One Collector barely had time to stumble back to its feet before the redhead had seemingly disappeared into thin air, re-appearing before the creature in an instant and slamming it with the force of a freight train.

"Turret's are online Shepard."

"Give 'em hell EDI!" Shepard turned to her team. "Alright you heard the lady. Let's bring this bastard down!" All fire was focused on the shrieking mass of heads that made up the Praetorian stalking them until with a final shrill groan it lifted into the air, disintegrating as so many of its predecessors had done previously.

"They're pulling out! Guess they got what they came for."

Shepard looked up to see the Collector ship vanishing into the distance in a haze of blinding light and breathed a sigh of relief.

"No! Don't let them get away!" Running past the group, the Mechanic the team had met earlier, hidden away in his bunker pointed to the sky watching with devastation as the ship disappeared from view.

"Sure, I'll get right on that. Just let me get out my magical space map and I'll hop right in my rocket ship and go."

"You've gotta do something! Half the half the colony was in there! They took Egan and Sam and… and Lilith!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I must have been too busy saving the other half of the colony to notice. You know, while you were so pre-occupied with your hiding and what not." Shepard softened slightly, heaving a tired sigh and brushing the loose strands of hair from her face. "Look, I tried alright. I'm sorry."

"Yeah fuck you! If it wasn't for Shepard you'd all be on that damn ship."

Shepard couldn't help but smirk, grateful as ever for Jack's input.

"Shepard? Wait, I know that name." The man paused for a moment, observing her. "Sure, I remember you. You're some type of big Alliance hero." The disdain in his voice made it clear that he didn't quite share the idea.

With the way she was feeling at that moment, Victoria was quite prepared to punch the man. She was even half considering it when her heart stopped for the second time that day.

"Commander Shepard: Captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre, saviour of the Citadel." Their eyes met, and Shepard wasted no time in scrutinising every detail of her face for the first time since waking in her new life. Still so beautiful.

Ashley continued. "You're in the presence of a God Delan. Back from the dead."

Delan however, seemed less than impressed. "Of all the good people we lost, you get left behind. Figures. Screw this. I'm done with you Alliance types."

It seemed neither of the women really took any note of his exit, both intently watching the other with a longing that was mirrored in each of their eyes and was only satisfied when they ended up in each other's arms. It was strange to Shepard, who felt as if their time apart may have been closer to two months than two years, the memory of the last time she held her like that still so fresh in her mind.

Though for Ashley, it felt like coming home. As if she'd been lost for two years and had only just found her way back to where she was supposed to be. Part of her was shocked at how easily those feelings came flooding back. She thought she'd moved on. But there she was, holding onto the redhead for dear life as if to stop her from disappearing again.

"I thought you were dead Shepard. We all did." Her voice seemed so fragile then, in a way that Shepard had rarely ever heard from the other woman. She was brash, loud and flirty, with albeit a rather surprising reverence for poetry. But fragile was not a word that would ever be applied to her.

"Kind of was. It's a long story. But God is it good to see you."

"That's it? You show up after two years and all you have to say is 'good to see you'? Do you have any idea what you put me through? I…" She pulled herself away from the arms that she had longed for, instantly missing their comfort, and swallowed the tears that felt like they could spill at any second. "I loved you Shepard. I thought you were dead. I almost… Why didn't you try and contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

"I couldn't. Like I said: dead. They don't exactly have an email system on the other side, y'know."

"Shepard you're not making any sense. How could you be dead. You're here, now. Breathing."

"Yeah well, it turns out anything's possible with a fuckton of money and a super brain working to bring you back." She didn't see the smile that elicited from Miranda, who had silently made her way to stand behind Shepard with the rest of her team. "Two years later, here I am. Figured you'd moved on without me. Didn't want reopen any old wounds." If she was honest, she'd also been slightly terrified to see it for herself. To see the woman she loved happily getting on with a life that didn't include her anymore. She might have died all over again.

"I moved on. But here you are, pulling me back in. And now, we've got reports about you and Cerberus."

"Reports?" Miranda cut in. "So much for security."

Shepard didn't even have to turn to know that the other woman would have been sporting her trademark scowl. She was so predictable it made Shepard smile a little.

"Alliance Intel said Cerberus could behind our missing colonies. We got a tip that this one could be the next to get hit. I went to Anderson but he wouldn't talk. But there were rumours that you weren't dead. Worse: that you were working for the enemy."

"They're not the enemy." Miranda wished she had recorded Shepard in that moment so that she could replay it to herself every time she got sad. "Not this time anyway." She would skip that part obviously. "Look I know what I'm dealing with here okay. I don't like it any more than you do. But Cerberus are the only ones actually doing something about our missing colonies."

"Bullshit! How can you defend them after what we've seen?"

"I am not defending them! I was there on Akuze remember? I lost my whole damn unit to their fucking experiments and when the time comes I will reap bloody vengeance on The Illusive Man and he knows it. But right now? We're at an impasse. We both need each other to fight the Collectors and that's as far as it goes. I swear."

"I wish I could believe that Shepard. I wanted to believe that you were alive, I just never expected anything like this. How could you just turn your back on all of us? You betrayed the Alliance, Anderson… you betrayed me." The venom in the Alliance woman's voice woke a fierce anger inside Shepard. She got her terrible temper from her father, she knew that. It had always been one of her biggest flaws. But she had never once thought that it would ever be directed at Ashley. Not Ash. Not her Ash.

"You know what? Fine. Fuck you Ash. If saving these colonies is a betrayal then okay: I'm a fucking traitor. But don't you dare stand there and give me that look. You don't get to judge me! I'm the same as I ever was, doing what it takes to get the job done, and if that means working with Cerberus then sign me the fuck up!" She spat the words with fury, while Ashley just looked at her as if she was a stranger.

"I can't believe you would trust them. What is wrong with you? What the hell did they do to you? Wake up Shepard! What if they're behind it? What if they're the ones working with the Collectors?"

Shepard barely heard Miranda's dry mockery of the Alliance through her rage.

"Then I would rip the heart out of their organization in a second. But they're not. You're being so blinded by the past that you won't even stop and think about this!"

"And you're being blinded by the fact that they saved you. Or maybe they changed you somehow. It doesn't matter. I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier, it's in my blood." She turned to walk away, giving one last look in Shepard's direction. "I'm reporting back to the Citadel. I'll let them decide if they believe your story."

"Ash…" The words caught on Victoria's tongue. Her head felt like it was ready to explode, the pain pressing in on her while her thoughts of sorrow and anger and apology fought for dominance.

"Goodbye Shepard. Just… try to be careful."

And with that she was gone, and Shepard just looked drained. She stared after her for a few more moments, before turning back to her team, assessing everyone's condition. She was about to move to collect Garrus when she noticed a flash of blond hair in the corner of her eye.

Alex looked at her with a sheepish expression adorning her washed out features and Miranda at least had the decency to look slightly guilty as furious emerald eyes flicked over to her. The redhead's expression was stern, but tired. Like all the fight had escaped her.

"Joker, send the shuttle. I want off this damned planet." She lowered her hand from her ear piece, fixing Miranda with a withering glare. "We'll talk about this later."

A few metres away, a coarse groan could be heard from the ground as Garrus woke, rubbing at his head. He surveyed the group momentarily, counting three too many team members with a confused expression.

"Okay, what did I miss?"

AN: Hey there. Bet you thought I'd died huh? Nah, I'm still kicking, but almost felt like I'd died a few months ago when my computer broke irreparably and the four next chapters I'd written for this were washed down the drain. Kind of lost the will to write for a while. Re-writing something you know you've already done is actually soul destroying. But I got myself into gear and got it done. Eventually.

Still, I'm exceedingly sorry about the wait, and as a reward for all those who have decided to stick with me on this one, tried to make this chapter a little longer than it originally was. That and I give you all a virtual cake. Here. Take it.
You're welcome ;)

Anyway, drop a review and let me know what you think... or at least just to let me know that someone out there is still reading this haha.