Preponderance

A Criminal Minds Story

It had been two days since it had happened.

Two days since they died.

Two days.

But it felt like it should be much longer than that.

He hadn't contacted her at all. Hadn't even sent as much as a concerned text, nor had he talked to Emily to see how she was doing. It was probably very selfish of him, but he just couldn't bring himself to. Heck, he hasn't even left his apartment since he got home that early morning. Still, there wasn't an excuse. His best friend just lost her husband and only child, and he didn't even have the compassion to call and check on her. Or visit.

But he had lost his Godson.

Perhaps, he thought that maybe if he could just bury himself in books then he wouldn't hurt so much. Of course that didn't work out so well because every time he tried to read a page he would only read as fast as the average adult. 250 to 300 words per minute and he also hardly comprehended half of what he read. Just like any normal person, so he stopped reading.

After all, Dr. Spencer Reid has never functioned at the stage of average.

He attributed it to the grief.

But all that didn't tell him why exactly he was sitting in his car outside of JJ's house waiting for Morgan and Garcia. Maybe it was his guilty conscience, or maybe he was just being the good friend he was. He didn't know. Either way he wasn't sure if he wanted to step foot inside that house, let alone the front yard.

A sharp tapping on his passenger side window caused Spencer to jump. It was Morgan smiling on the other side. Considering where they were, Reid wasn't sure how anyone could ever smile again. Sighing, Reid pulled his coat tighter around him as he stepped out into the frigid air.

"Hey Kid, thanks for coming," Morgan stated placing his hand on the youngest Agent's shoulder. Reid nodded his hands stuffed in his pockets, "I know. It's hard, but we-."

Morgan was interrupted as a slightly less colorful Penelope Garcia drove up and hopped out of her car. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, her outfit was almost plain, and her eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying. And they didn't even have to wonder why. She was carrying a basket full of items, mostly cleaning supplies.

"Let's do this."

They were there to clean up the blood on the floor and to pick up a few things for JJ; her sister's necklace, one of Henry's toys, and Will's Detective shield. As they neared the still taped door, none of them went inside. All three stared hesitantly as they feared what was inside, or really the lack of.

Reid glanced over at his friends; he figured they were probably thinking of all the times they had been on the other side of that door. Dinners, birthday parties, surprises, and holidays… he never thought he would be entering on an occasion like this.

To clean his dead Godson's blood off of the floor.

"I-I don't know if I can do this." Garcia stuttered, her body shaking. Morgan rubbed her back comfortingly as he too thought the very same thing.

"I know. But it's for JJ."

And they would do anything for JJ.

So Morgan found the spare key and opened the door, each of them holding their breath as they stepped inside. The blood was dry now. And the house was cold. And empty. And it didn't take long before he could hear Garcia choking back sobs. Morgan immediately sent her to clean up the kitchen as he took the cleaning supplies from her.

"I'll do this," he said before he turned to Reid, telling him to get the toy from Henry's room. Reid nodded gratefully; though he felt bad he left Morgan to clean it up alone. He really wouldn't have been much help anyway. Yet as soon as he opened Henry's door he wished he had stayed downstairs.

Because for just a moment he thought he would see the small boy sleeping on his bead.

Alive and well.

Or playing on the floor.

But instead the first thing Reid saw was the messenger bag, the one that looked just like his own. Henry had worn it for Halloween because he was dressing like his favorite profiler. Him. Reid cleared his throat, his fingers lightly touching the brown material.

"E = MC^2!"

Reid coughed a bit as he tore his gaze away from the bag and to the task at hand. He was supposed to find a light green elephant. It was one of Henry's favorites. Reid never understood why. It was one of the most ghastly colors he had ever seen on a stuffed animal. Which didn't surprise him, knowing it was Morgan who had actually given him the repulsive thing the day Henry turned one.

But Henry loves it.

Well loved it.

Humphrey was the elephants name.

And where in the world Henry came up with that, he would never be sure.

Grabbing the animal he ran into Garcia who had left the kitchen and found JJ's necklace and Will's shield. She was about to apologize when her eyes flickered behind Reid and into Henry's room. Then she started to tear up.

"You know, everywhere I go in this house I see him. And I think that, more like I hope that this is all a horrid nightmare and that we aren't going to their funeral tomorrow. But it's not. And I know that, but I wish it was," Garcia struggled as her breathing became more rapid, "And it's just that after everything that has happened to this team. To all of us individually. I really hoped that JJ and Will and Henry would stick together. I guess they kind of gave me hope that you could have a family and this job and it could work. But now… It just isn't fair. Are we all destined to die alone?"

The silence between them lasted several minutes. Both unable to speak in fear of breaking down and Reid could only wonder if they were. If that was their destiny. But Hotch still had Jack. And he still had his mother. And Morgan his family. But what of the rest of them?

Were they meant to die alone?

Reid looked down at the ugly green Humphrey the elephant and a small glimmer of understanding dawned on him, and he knew that would never be the case.

"No, because no matter what. We still have each other," Reid simply stated as he hugged Garcia tightly.

"It still isn't fair," Garcia whispered, as she looked at the necklace as the chain dangled from her hand, "I was going to be the best Fairy Godmother ever."

It sounded selfish, but it wasn't. They missed their Godson and they were sad. They didn't get to spend the time with Henry that he deserved. That they deserved. And it wasn't fair, but that was life. And they all knew that sometimes life wasn't fair.

As if they hadn't been told that a million times.

But it was true, so they cried for their dead Godson, and the life he didn't get to live, because at the moment it was all they felt they could do.

And that was okay.

Thank you for reading! And thank you for the reviews! You are the best. Please let me know what you think and of any suggestions or criticisms you have.

-HCB