Disclaimer: I'll say this for the last time since it's irritating to say it over and over again. I don't own Kuroko no Basuke.
Warnings: Coarse language, grammar/spelling, characters in drag, OOC!ness
Edit: So sorry for making you guys confused. Here's the list of characters and who as who.
Allen - Kise, Rilliane - Alex, Germa(i)n(e) - Akashi, Kyle - Aomine, Michaela - Midorima, Queen Anne - Himuro, Leonhart - Kiyoshi, Ney - Hanamiya, Clarith - Haizaki, Keel - Hyuga, Yukina - Izuki, Mariam - Mitobe, Gast - Murasakibara, a random maid of Freesis - Momoi, random townspeople - othe KnB characters
The First Night
Greetings, everyone. Shiori here. Tonight is the first night of the House of Shiori. As such, we will present you a live play which is the owner's, me, personal favourite and narrated by yours truly. The title of the play is "The Story of Evil" performed by none other than your favourite actors.
"Wait a minute, Shioricchi!"
Yes, Kise-san?
"Why am I the bad character?"
Allen Avadonia is not a bad character, Kise-san. He's just a misunderstood MAIN character.
"If you say so, Shioricchi."
If no one has any question, shall we move on?
"Wait, Shiori-chan!"
Yes, Momoi-san? *sigh* Why are there so many interruptions on our first night?
"Why am I a minor character? I want to be a major character and I want Tetsu-kun to be the main character as well!"
"Speaking of which, why is Tetsuya not the main character of this play? Your explanation, Shiori?"
Err…This…I suppose there is a story where you and Kuroko-san can be the main character, Momoi-san. Akashi-san, the main character of this play will be killed, or more specifically, arrested by you so…
"Is that so? Very well. I accept your reasoning. But what is this story that you said Satsuki and Tetsuya will the main character of? I want to be the main character as well."
Eh…Well, if you insist. Actually, I need you to be Kuroko-san's husband in the next story I'm using anyway. The one that Momoi-san will star in. Ahh…I said too much, didn't I?
"Good and yes, you did." *smirking slightly*
"Not fair. I want Tetsu-kun to be my husband."
"What are you talking about, Satsuki? I'm the one who should be Tetsu's husband."
"No, me! Pick me, Shioricchi!"
"Silence, Daiki, Ryota."
No can do, Momoi-san. I granted your wish to be the main character so I will ignore any other request from you. Kise-san, Aomine-san, I'm sorry but it can't be done. I do not wish to die an early death.
"Fine."
And since Kuroko-san will be one of the main characters tomorrow, I will need him to rest today. Kuroko-san, I hope you understand. You do not have as much stamina as the others have. I do not want you to collapse in exhaustion.
"Hai, Shiori-san."
Therefore, Izuki-san will take Kuroko-san's place today. Hyuga-san, please don't kill Izuki-san before the play start.
"I make no promises. If I hear some stupid puns from him, I'm killing him. Why did you choose him anyway?"
Because his character is a fan of books. The only ones I could think of that will go anywhere near a book is Momoi-san, Akashi-san, Kuroko-san and Izuki-san. Of course, for Izuki-san's case, it's his pun book but we can overlook that. Both Momoi-san and Akashi-san already have their own characters while I need Kuroko-san to rest for tomorrow so…
"Fine, I accept. Just make sure he won't be saying any puns."
Don't worry. I don't think Izuki-san will be speaking at all tonight. After all, his character is a minor one.
"What?! That's so cruel! Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" *everyone ignores Izuki*
"Good."
Glad to be of service, Hyuga-san. Now, may we start? We've wasted quite a lot of time and I think our audiences are waiting.
"Sure. Go ahead, Shiori/Shiori-san/Shiori-chan/Shio-chin/Shioricchi."
Once upon a time, there was a kingdom. After King Arth, a wise king who built the Lucifenia Kingdom with "Three Heroes", died, Queen Anne, a queen of the sweet voice, who was his wife, ruled over the kingdom. They had twins as children, the princess Rillianne and the prince Alexiel.
"Ah…My beloved Arth, why did you die? But, I will continue your legacy to rule this kingdom and raise our children."
"Wow! Nice acting, Himuro."
"Thank you, Okamura-kun."
Hush, you're not supposed to interrupt the play.
"Sorry, Shiori-chan."
Now, where was I? Oh, right. *clears throat* She governed for the good of her people, rather better than him, and the kingdom enjoyed her reign continued after his death, she suffered from the same affliction and passed away.
"Poor Muro-chin~"
"It's fine, Atsushi. I don't think I'm suited for acting anyway."
However, a power struggle started among leagues when the twins were six years old, and Alexiel was supposed to be dead in the political combat. In fact the Commander of the Royal Guard and one of the "Three Heroes", Leonhart Avadonia was ordered to take care of the prince, changing Alexiel's name to "Allen". Leonhart raised Allen as his own alongside his adopted daughter, Germaine.
"Uwahh! Poor Alexeicchi."
"Oi, Kise. Shut up. I'll kick you." *sounds of something being hit and falling*
"Kasamatsucchi, you've already kicked me."
"Oi, Kasamatsu. What are you doing to Ryota, you bastard? Only I'm allowed to hit him!"
"So cruel, Daikicchi!"
"You're both wrong. Only I'm allowed to hurt Ryota."
"A-Akashicchi?!"
"Sei-kun, that sounded so wrong."
"Are you perhaps jealous, Tetsuya? No worries. I will choose you over anyone any day. And why is my character a girl?"
Well, she is called 'a girl in red' for a reason, Akashi-san.
"Change it."
Huh?
"Either change the plot completely or change the gender, I don't mind which. As long as I'm not crossdressing."
Err…How about this then? Leonhart raised Allen as his own alongside his adopted son, German.
"It's not the best but it will do."
*backstage*
"Tsuchida…"
"Hmm?"
"Can this still be called a play? There are so many interruptions from the actors."
"I don't know, Furihata. I don't know."
*ignores the squabbling of the actors*Her mother's passing left Rillianne, who had grown up in luxury, to rule the kingdom. When she started to rule the kingdom, she imposed heavy taxes on her people and started ruthless purges. However, out of deference to her mother the queen, she decided she would rule the kingdom as a princess and would not take over the throne until she came of age. Later, Allen returned to the palace as a servant, but Riliane did not remember that he was her twin brother.
"Ahaha…so, pretty boy is my twin. Ahh…Taiga, Tatsuya, there you are!"
"Alex, what are you doing here?!"
"Taiga, Shiori-chan said Alex should be Rillianne since she has blonde hair as well."
"Seriously?!"
*still ignoring*A famine started, Leonhart and lieges who supported him decided to smuggle food from the palace to the hungry.
"Yay! I get to be Robin Hood. Let's have some fun~"
"Oh my, the Ironheart is Leonheart? How fitting."
"!"
"Shut up, Hanamiya. And don't you even dare, Izuki."
Rililanne, noticing a lack of food, ordered her servant to kill the hero.
"Pretty boy, go kill that brown-haired boy."
"Don't call me that, Alexandracchi. And it's 'Allen' and 'Leonheart'."
Ney Futapie, one of the maids of the castle and adopted daughter of Mariam Futapie, another of the "Three Heroes", tricked to Allen making him to think that his foster father was going to kill to Rillianne.
"Nee, nee, Allen. Did you hear? I heard that Leonheart is going to kill the princess."
"What?! Is this true, Hanamiya? I must protect the princess at once."
As a result of this, Leonhart died at the hands of his adopted son.
"I'm sorry, Father but I can't let you harm Alexandracchi. Please die." *fake stabbing*
"Ahaha…I'm dead."
"Kiyoshi is the only person that will laugh happily at Death, literally." *facepalm*
"Calm down, Hyuga-senpai."
"Kuroko?! Since when were you there?!"
"For about five minutes."
As the hero died, Germaine-
*Akashi clears his throat*
I mean, German intended on revenge. From that day on the princess was referred as "The Daughter of Evil".
"Why should I avenge him? Even if he is my real father, it's his own fault that he died."
"That's just cruel, Akashi."
"Aha…my son doesn't want to avenge me~"
Akashi-san, if you promise to follow the plot of this story as you should, I'll let you have your way with Kuroko-san and give the both of you three-days of paid leave.
"Deal."
"Why are you using me as a bargaining chip, Shiori-san?"
Sorry, Kuroko-san but it's the only way to convince him. Here's a vanilla milkshake as a token of apology.
"Thank you, Shiori-san." *begins slurping his milkshake*
Continuing the story. Visiting the Kingdom of Elphergot, Allen met Michaela and Clarith, two maids for a wife of a wealthy merchant named Keel Freesis .
"Oh, what a beautiful maiden. Wait?! Is that Midorimacchi?!"
"Ahh! Shin-chan is Michaela. How cute~"
"S-Shut up, Takao. I'm not cute. Not that I care or anything."
"Tsun-tsun Shin-chan~"
Clarith, unlike the other citizens of the kingdom, had white hair. She had lived as an outcast because of this, but by "one-thousand-year tree", she had met Michaela, who had befriended her.
"But we don't have anyone who is white-haired, Shiori-chan."
You're right, Aida-san. Hmm…Well, grey is almost the same as white. I mean, grey is the mixture of black and white so…Haizaki-san, you will be Clarith.
"Hah?! You want me to be a woman and wear a fucking dress. No way, bitch."
"Shogo, language."
"I can say whatever I want, Akashi. You're not my mother."
"Are you defying me?" *sounds of scissors snipping*
"…"
"Hm…As I thought." *stores back his scissors*
Haizaki-san, you WILL be Clarith and you WILL wear that maid costume before I decide that NijiHai is not worth my time.
*grumbles but puts it on while blushing slightly*
Michaela was beloved by many, and had a beautiful singing voice; even the King of the Marlon Kingdom, Kyle Marlon was in love with her.
"Why am I in love with Midorima? It's digusting!"
"Speak for yourself, Aomine. The mere thought of you having any romantic feeling towards me is unsettling."
"What did you say, you four-eyes?!"
She had met him through Keel, who was a friend of the king.
"Michaela, this is my friend, King Kyle of Marlon Kingdom. Kyle, this is Michaela, my wife's maid."
"We already met earlier, Tetsu's captain."
"You're supposed to call him 'Keel', Aomine."
"Like I care about this stupid play."
"People who live in glass house shouldn't throw stones, Midorima. You're supposed to say "Greetings, Your Majesty"."
"Really?! Oi, Midorima, say your dialogue properly."
"I refuse."
Allen also fell in love with her.
"Do I have to, Shioricchi?"
Yes, you have to, Kise-san.
"Fine. *puts on a love-sick face* Oh, who was that beautiful maiden earlier? I think I'm in love with her."
"Wow! Never thought I'd see the day Kise and Aomine will fight for Midorima."
"Ah, hello, Nijimura-senpai."
"Hello, Kuroko."
Rillianne, however, was in love with Kyle, and sent a formal marriage proposal to Kyle.
"Kyle? Oh, you mean that tanned boy that's similar to Taiga? Sure, send him a basketball challenge."
"Alexandracchi, you're supposed to send Aominecchi a marriage contract."
Kyle, however, responded that he was already in love with another girl.
"I accept. Bring it on, woman."
"You're supposed to reject it, Aomine-kun."
"But this is basketball, Tetsu. How can I refuse?"
"Ignore the basketball idiot, Tetsuya."
"Hai, Sei-kun."
"Akashi, you bastard! What did you call me?"
"An idiot." *smirks*
"You-"
Realizing this, Rillianne told her ministers that if they could not find out which girl Kyle was in love, they should destroy the entire the Elphergot Kingdom and kill all of the green-haired women.
"Oh…This is becoming interesting. Pretty boy, annihilate the neighbouring kingdom."
"Hai, Alexandracchi."
"Oi, Kise, you're not supposed to sound happy while doing it. And why is no one using the real characters' names?"
"Ignore them, Kasamatsu."
Keel hid away Michaela in a well and told Allen where she was.
"Where the heck is the well?!"
Ahh…you see, Hyuga-san…That is…We don't have enough budget.
"So, where am I supposed to hide?"
Let's just pretend there's a big boulder over there and it's big enough to cover your body.
"I don't even know the plot to this story anymore, Fukuda."
"Me too, Kawahara."
Allen kept it secret from the princess, however the princess found it out later. Allen was passed over a message in a glass bottle from her telling him to kill Michaela. After that, Michaela was killed in the well by Ney Futapie.
"Fufu…Die, Midorima."
"Even Hanamiya gave up on using the real characters' name."
Soon after, the rebellion troops and the people of both the Lucifenia Kingdom and the Elphegort Kingdom led by German and a mysterious man with blue hair in a mask named Kachees, who was actually King Kyle in disguise, came to rebel.
"Eh…Akashi? Is that a real armour and sword?"
"Of course, Daiki."
In response to the rebellion, Rillianne hired Gast Venom and his mercenary group, "The Asmodean Company".
"Go, purple-head boy! Defeat the rebels for me!"
"Eh~ But I don't want to fight Aka-chin~"
"Good boy, Atsushi." *Akashi pats Murasakibara's head*
But this was futile and the rebels took over the castle. During the revolution, Ney managed to get rid of her foster mother, while Allen, wanting to protect his sister, offered to switch places with her, allowing her to escape and for him to die in her place.
"Ahh…Mitobe just died."
"Way to state the obvious, Koganei."
His plan worked, and Rillianne was able to escape safely. Before Allen let her escape, he revealed himself as her twin brother.
"I'm your twin brother."
"I know. I read the script."
"Oh…Now, we need to…er…*looks at the script* Eh! I have to wear dress?!"
"Do it, Ryota."
"But, Akashicchi!"
*Akashi glares at him*
"Fine. *puts on dress* Alexandracchi, run to safety!"
"Okay~"
*Akashi and the 'army' enter the scene*
"I'm the princess. If you want to kill me, then do it quickly."
"You're supposed to say "You insolent person!", Ryota."
"Eh?! Really, Akashicchi?!"
"Do you think we're blind, Ryota? The real princess is a chick wearing spectacles with big boobs."
"Shut up, Aominecchi! Akashicchi, what are you doing with that camera?"
"Taking pictures of you in a dress, of course."
"For what purpose?" *shakes in fear*
"Blackmail." *smirks evilly*
Akashi-san, I would like a copy of that picture, please. Along with the others that you've taken earlier. It might be good for business.
"Sure."
"Shioricchi is so mean!"
*ignores him*
Rillianne went underground during a time and eventually was found unconscious near a cloister by Clarith, who became a nun there recently.
"First I'm a freaking maid, now I'm a nun?! Great, just great!"
Clarith wanted revenge on "The Daughter of Evil", whom she knew had caused the death of her friend. Of course, she was unaware that the girl she found, who she knew under the name of "Rin" was actually "The Daughter of Evil" herself, but one day she overheard Rillianne's confession in the confession box which revealed to her that she was the princess who ordered the destruction of the Elphegort kingdom.
"There is no confession box."
Please pretend, Garcia-san.
"Okay~"
Later, Rillianne, filled with regret over the death of her brother, went to the harbor and set a bottled message into the sea. With this, she hoped that it would allow her wish, "If I could be reborn, I would like to be with [him] again", to come true.
"Wow! What a beautiful painting of the ocean!"
"That's not your dialogue, Alex!"
"Leave her be, Taiga. At this point, even Shiori-chan doesn't care anymore. She just wants to finish the play."
Clarith, in a blind rage, snuck up on Rillianne and tried to stab her with a knife, but decided not to when she was stopped an illusion of a young boy and after see how lonely Rillianne was. Clarith eventually forgave Rillianne, and apologized to Michaela for not having been able to avenge her.
"Whatever." *walks away*
"Oi, Shogo! Where are you going?"
"I'm outta here, Shuzo." *leaves the building*
Sometime after the previous main events, Yukina Freesis, prodigious child and daughter of Keel Freesis started her own investigation of what happened behind the Story of Evil.
*Izuki walks around the stage to talk to the 'townspeople*
"Ehh?! Is this all I have to do? I didn't even have any dialogue."
"Be glad. Some of us didn't even have the chance to show our face."
"Yeah. I'm only one of the maids in the Freesis Mansion. *pouts* But tomorrow I'll be the main character with Tetsu-kun."
"Shut up, Satsuki. No one wants to know."
"Just say that you jealous, Dai-chan!" *stucks out tongue*
*other characters start to fight as well while the authoress ignores them*
And that's the end of the play. What do you think, dear audiences? Shall we continue this? Please tell us what you think. Goodbye.