A/N: So this story is apparently going to be much more serious and melodramatic than most of my work, but I promise that there will be some fluff in the near future! Anyway, enjoy this chapter and please let me know your thoughts =).

A feeling of emptiness. That surprised Ward slightly. He had been expecting anguish, pain, sorrow - the emotions that he had been experiencing all the time lately - but the emptiness was new. It was fitting, he supposed, as it reflected the look in Simmons's eyes.

"Will everybody please calm down?" The authoritative note in Coulson's voice caught everyone's attention, but May and Skye didn't relax. They kept their guns trained on him.

What were you expecting? He asked himself ruefully. It's not like you would have done any differently were your roles exchanged. However, it still stung to see how easy it was for them to view him as a threat. Even by his own admission.

"Ward, tell the team what you told me." Coulson's order brought Ward out of his thoughts and back to the matter at hand.

Forcing himself to look at Simmons again, he felt his heart plunge. There was a clear sheen of tears in her eyes though she did not let them fall. And the look on her face made him want to hold her in his arms and protect her from all the pain and sorrow in the world. But as much as he wanted that, he knew that it was impossible. He was the one causing her this pain. It was his fault - she had trusted him fully, let her guard down, and now she knew his secret. Ward clenched his fist tightly, distracting himself from his thoughts. "I am Hydra," he repeated slowly. "But it's not exactly what you think."

"How can that be anything other than what we think?" Skye demanded, gesturing at him with her gun. Simmons still remained silent, her arms crossed defensively across her chest.

Sighing, Ward faced Skye. "Garrett was my S.O. - you know that." At her nod, he continued. "And obviously, he is Hydra. He recruited me to join years ago." He looked down, still feeling the pressure of the decision that had faced him so long ago. Join Hydra and go against all his morals, or be killed. To this day, he still wasn't sure that he had made the right decision.

"And you did join." Fitz's tone was flat, emotionless. It matched the gaze he directed at him.

"There wasn't really much of a choice - I had to join, whether I wanted to or not. However, I never liked anything that Hydra stood for."

A sound caught Ward's attention and he looked up. May had cocked her gun. "Sure. You expect us to believe that you have been biding your time, waiting to take down Hydra? Letting the Clairvoyant play games with us while you knew the truth all along?"

Ward ran a hand across his jaw, wishing that this was all over. He knew that they wouldn't understand why he had done what he had. But explaining was his only chance to keep Simmons, and that thought kept him trying to make them see his rationale. "I couldn't say anything without alerting Garrett and putting us all in even more danger."

"Oh yeah, so having Skye shot and nearly killed…" To his surprise, it was Fitz who starting yelling at him. "That was all part of your plan?" The scientist looked like he was ready to attack him - his hands were clenched into fists and his face was red with anger.

Spreading his hands out in front of him, Ward replied with as much sincerity as he could. "Of course not. Why do you think that I tried so hard to get her the cure?"

"To get the drug for Hydra."

Ward was shaking his head even before Coulson had finished his sentence. "That was never my motive. It may have been Garrett's, but Skye was always my concern. I swear."

Coulson walked over to May and Skye and put a hand on both of their outstretched arms, lowering the weapons pointed at Ward. "I believe him," he said quietly. "I believe that he wants to help us take down Hydra from the inside."

"How can you trust him?" Ward saw May's reluctance to put her gun away.

"The same way I can trust you after you betrayed me - I have no one else on my side." Turning back to the whole group, he continued. "Agent Ward has been honest with us when he didn't have to be. At this point, I'll take what I can get."

Nodding at Coulson gratefully, Ward said, "Then, sir, I suggest that we start planning how we will take down Hydra." Again, he looked over at Simmons to gauge her reaction. It only took him a matter of seconds to realize that she was no longer in the room - she had left. "Sir," he addressed Coulson, not even caring if anyone found his actions suspicious, "May I have a moment to talk to Simmons?"

Coulson hesitated, looking around at the unhappy faces of the team all around him. "You have two minutes."

"Thank you."

It wasn't difficult to find her - when she was upset, she always went to the same spot. It was a small room at the far end of the Bus, empty except for a couch and a small table. Originally, it was probably intended to be a home theatre room, but it was clearly never finished and never used. Ward would never have even known that it existed if he and Jemma weren't constantly meeting up in secrecy - she had suggested the room, telling him that it was her go-to spot for when she need space to think or time alone. Hesitating at the closed door, he knocked quietly and said, "Jemma? Please, can we talk?" There was a long silence. Ward rested one arm against the door frame and leaned his forehead on it, closing his eyes. She wasn't going to come. Everything they had was ruined, and it was his fault. Just as he was about to give up, the door swung open.

"Come in." Simmons stood, framed in the doorway, her eyes red and puffy.

"I'm sorry." The words sounded lame even to him, but it was the best he had to offer as he followed her to the couch and sat next to her.

Curling up as far away from him as possible, she wrapped her arms around her knees. "I don't understand how you could lie to me like that."

Thoughts swirled around Ward's brain, but no brilliant idea appeared. Nothing that could help this situation. Finally, he said, "I didn't want to risk losing you, Jemma. You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

Bitterly, she laughed. "If only I could believe that. How many other 'secrets' have you been keeping? Those terrible past deeds that you always avoid telling me? How can I trust you anymore?" With every accusing question, her voice rose in volume until she was practically yelling.

Each word tore at Ward's heart, each making a painful cut. He knew that he deserved it, but it still hurt to hear it coming from Jemma. He had had this exact nightmare so many times before, but those hadn't prepared him for the reality. "You have no reason to trust me. You're right." He nearly whispered the words, hanging his head. "But I'm done lying to you, now."

She was silent. He couldn't decide which was worse - her silence or her accusations. Both showed that she was hurt, though, and that just made everything worse. "I killed Agent Hand and the two guards that were with Garrett. In cold blood." Her startled, horrified, gasp nearly made him lose his composure. He didn't look at her. "And they weren't the first. But please," his voice broke on the word, "Please believe me when I tell you that I didn't want to. That I felt sick about it."

"Why did you do it?" Her voice was so low and shaky that it was barely audible.

Swallowing hard, he replied, "To keep my cover. So that, when I had the chance, I could take Hydra down and avenge all those deaths. This is my chance to stop. To become a better person. Their reign and the death that will follow can't happen - I will stop it, no matter the cost."

A hand brushed his. "I can't trust you anymore," she whispered, tears streaming down her face as he raised his head to meet her gaze. "But I believe you. I don't know why, but I do. So I will help."

"But...what about us?"

Retracting her hand, she rubbed her arm, looking at the floor. "There is no us."

Ward thought that he couldn't possibly hurt any more than he already was, but those four words proved him wrong.

Please review and also check out "Just the Girl," my Fitz/Skye fic!