Chapter 2
DISCLAIMER: can I not?
The three droid walked through the hot desert of Tatooine in search of the vile gangster's palace. "Of course I'm worried!" Threepio answer the two astromech's beeps. "And you should be, too. Lando Calrissian and poor Chewbacca never returned from this awful place."
Artoo whistled timidly and Seefor spun around in wild circles.
"Don't be so sure! If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short-circuit… Seefor! How could this be any sort of fun?"
The three droids approached the massive gate to the palace. Threepio's circuits wee trembling.
"Artoo, Seefor, are you sure this is the right place?" he asked timidly befoe staring at the large iron door. "I better knock, I suppose."
He tapped his golden metal hand on the door quietly, before turning back to the other two companions instantly.
"There doesn't seem to be anyone there. Let's go back and tell Master Luke and Madame Katalandte."
"Tee chuta hhat yudd!" a spidery rod with some sort of eye on the end popped out of a small hatch and glared at the guests.
"Goodness gracious me!" he said before looking down at Artoo and Seefor. "If only Madame Katalandte were here. She talk in this vile language rather than me."
Threepio pointed to Artoo, then to himself, then Seefor.
"Artoo… Detoowha bo Seethreepiowha bo Artooseefwana ey toota odd mischka Jabba du Hutt."
The eye looked from one robot to the other, and with a slight laugh popped back inside its little hatch. Artoo beeped away his concern.
"I don't think they're going to let us in, Artoo and Seefor! We'd better go."
As Theepio turned to leave, the massive iron door opened allowing the droid in. The blue and orange astromechs waltzed through the doors, while Thrreepio turned around bedazzled.
"Seefor, Artoo, wait! Oh, dear!" Threepio turned around as fast as he could to catch up with the droids. "Artoo. Seefor, I really don't think we should rush into all this."
Artoo and Seefor continued down the corridor, with Threepio following hastily.
"Oh, Artoo! Artoo, wait for me! Seefor!"
The door slammed shut with a loud crash. The droids were soon accompanied by Gamorean Guards. Threepio glanced quickly back at the two lumbering brutes, then back to Artoo and Seefor.
Artoo beeped nervously.
"Just you deliver Master Luke's message and get us out of here. Oh my! Oh! Oh, no."
Walking towards them was Bib Fortuna, a pale Twi'lek… and faithful servant to Jabba.
"Die Wanna Wanga."
"Oh, my!" Theepio's nerves probably wouldn't be able to last much longer. "Die Wanna Wauaga. We- we bring a message to your master, Jabba the Hutt…"
Artoo let out a series of beeps.
"...and," Threepio translated. "a gift." He paused for a moment, realising what was coming out of his electronic voice box. "Gift?! What gift?!"
Artoo beeped cheekily and Seefor spun around in little circles again.
Bib shook his head negatively.
"Nee Jabba no badda. Me chaade su goodie."
The Twi'lek stroked Artoo on his dome, admiring the droid, almost. Artoo beeped in protest and Seefor back up a little way.
"He says that our instructions are to give it only to Jabba himself."
The Twi'lek pondered on the command for a moment.
"I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid he's ever so stubborn about these sort of things.
Bib Fortuna made a gesture towards the droids.
"Nudd Chaa."
The droids followed the tall, tentacled alien into the darkness, trailed by the two Gamorean guards.
"Seefor, Artoo, I have a bad feeling about this."
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The throne room of Jabba the Hutt's palace was filled with the vilest, most grotesque creatures Threepio had ever seen. Following Bib Fortuna, the three droids stood before the almighty slob before them. Chained to Jabba was a green Twi'lek dancing girl by the name of Oola. The obnoxious creature called Salacious Crumb sat in the tail of Jabba near Oola.
Bib Fortuna whispered into the crime lord's ear, causing Jabba to laugh horribly.
Threepio bowed politely before the crime monarch. "Good morning."
"Bo Shuda!" Jabba bellowed.
Threepio jumped in fright.
"The message, Artoo, the message!"
Artoo whistled, and a beam of light projected from his domed head. Before him in the holorecording stood two Jedi Knights, the man clad in completely black with a lightsaber at his left hip. The woman had her green hood up, her brown canvas corset-like top hung to her tightly. Her thick brown gauntlets went up to just underneath her elbow. Her baggy combat pants were perfect for flexibility and breathable, and her dark brown boots had complicated laces and buckles but gave her great support.
"Greetings, Exalted One." Spoke the man in black. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo."
"And I am Kat Dravvaadas, apparent Jedi Knight, friend of Han Solo's and ex-smuggler of yours."
This caused Jabba's excitement to stir.
"I know that you are powerful, mighty Jabba, and that your anger with Solo must be equally powerful." Luke continued. "I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo's life."
"And if I were you, Jabba, I would take this very seriously. Considering that I do not take your ownership of Han lightly, you could easily lose a lot here."
"With your wisdom, I'm sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these three droids…"
"Sorry, Threepio."
Threepio stood back in amasement. "What did he say?!"
"... All are hardworking and will serve you well."
As Luke and Kat's holograms disappeared, Threepio felt his circuits' haywire.
"This can't be! Artoo, you're playing the wrong message! Seefor probably has the correct one!"
Jabba laughed while Bib spoke to him in Huttese.
"There will be no bargain." Jabba spoke in his mothertongue.
"We're doomed." Threepio concluded.
"I will not give up my favourite decoration. I like Captain Solo where he is."
Jabba laughed hideously and looks toward the alcove beside the throne. Hanging flat against the wall was the carbonized Han Solo. The entire chamber filled with laughter.
"Artoo, Seefor, look! Captain Solo. And he's still frozen in carbonite!"
Threepio was given the job of translation droid. The astromechs were assigned to the sail barge.
There was much going on in the throne room. Jabba's favourite dancer, Oola, was forced to the centre of the room and made to dance. Most of the people there were drunk.
Jabba leered with a lustful gleam in his eye and beckoned for his favourite slave to come sit with him. Oola stopped dancing and backed away, shaking her head.
That made Jabba angry.
"Da Eitha!" he bellowed to the green Twi'lek.
Oola shook her head as she pulled the chain away from Jabba. "Na Chuba negatorie Na! Na! Natoota..."
Jabba just pulled harder at the chain leash.
"Boscka!"
Before Oola could know it, Jabba pushed a button and a trap door in the beneath the poor girl opened and sent her to her fate, simply because she said "no".
A gun shot rang out, causing all the drunken yelling and excitement to die down. At the entrance of Jabba's throne room, guards and aliens quickly made for an Ubese bounty hunter, the oddly dressed Boushh who was mainly dressed in brown, along with their companion, a mysterious assassin known as Daithi who wore concealing black robes with a hood and an ancient red and grey Mandalorian mask. Being held captive by Boushh was none other than Han Solo's co-pilot Chewbacca the Wookiee.
Bib whispered into his master's ear, pointing at Chewbacca. Jabba listened intently as the bounty hunter and the assassin bowed before him.
"I have come for the bounty on this Wookiee." Boushh said in Ubese.
"Oh, no! Chewbacca!" Threepio exclaimed from the background.
"At last we have the mighty Chewbacca." Jabba proclaimed in Huttese, letting out a blood-curdling laugh before summoning his translation droid.
"Oh, uh, yes, uh, I am here, Your Worshipfulness. Uh... yes." Threepio reluctantly obeyed.
Jabba babbled on to Boushh and Daithi, with Threepio nervously translating. The bounty hunter and the assassin listened intently, with Boushh noticing Boba Fett standing near the door.
"Oh… the illustrious Jabba bids you both welcome and will gladly pay you the reward of twenty-five thousand."
"I want fifty thousand. No less." Boushh argued in their robotic voice.
"How about sixty thousand?" Daithi suggested in Cheunh, oddly sounding like a snake.
"Don't make a fool of yourself." Boushh shut the Mandalorian assassin up.
"Fifty thousand. No less." Threepio confirmed to Jabba. Jabba was outraged and knocked Threepio off the ledge, raging on to the pair in wild Huttese.
A dishevelled Threepio came back up from the wreckage and turned to his master. "Oh… what did I say?"
Jabba kept continuing with his little rant before allowing Threepio to turn back to the clients. "Uh, the mighty Jabba asks why he must pay fifty thousand."
All the bounty hunter did was hold up a small silver ball in his hand, flicking a switch sending a beeping throughout the room. The assassin took out a vibroblade from its sheath at his belt in case anyone decided to perform a nasty attack on his friend.
"Because he is holding a thermal detonator!" Threepio announced, sending everyone in the room into a frenzy and hectic manner.
The only unfazed being was Jabba, as he let out an infamous laugh before speaking again.
"This bounty hunter and assassin are my kind of scum. Fearless and inventive…"
Jabba continued in his Huttese words.
Threepio turned back to the duo. "Jabba offers the sum of thirty-five. And I do suggest you take it."
Everybody in the room waited in anticipation.
The helmeted bounty hunter pulled the switch on the thermal detonator and the masked assassin placed their vibroblade back in its sheath.
"Zeebuss." Said Boushh.
"He agrees!" Threepio announced cheerfully.
After that, the dancing and the hooting continued. Girls took to the dance floor and sang while the bounty hunters cheered at them. The supposed Chiss and Ubese stared around in the new environment, for the first time taking in the scene of the inside of Jabba's palace, letting Chewbacca be taken down to the dungeons by Gamorean guards.
Boushh leaned against a pillar, hugging his blaster rifle lovingly as Daithi stood neautrally and surveyed the room from under his ancient Mandalorian mask.
HehehehehahahahahMWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
- yoda-is-cool.