Chapter 7
DISLCLAIMER: *disclaims in Shyriiwook*
Han, Chewie, Kat, Luke and Leia, followed by the ground crew, ventured into the forest on the moon of Endor.
Kat hummed to a familiar tune as she bobbed her head, letting the green helmet move all around her head as it was too big for her.
Han stopped in his tracks and turned to Kat. "Shhh!" he pressed a finger to his lips. "You're annoying the jeepers outta me."
As soon as Han turned back around, Kat moved her hands to the side of her head and waggled her fingers at him and stuck out her tongue.
"Idiotic numpty poodoo waffle-"
"What was that?" Han turned back around again.
Kat immediately placed her hands behind her back and started to pretend to look at all the wonderful sights of Endor. "What and enjoyable place we've come to, Han!"
Threepio seemed to think otherwise. "Oh, I told you it was dangerous here!" he complained to Artoo.
They approached the top of a hill, overlooking a clearing where two Imperial scouts were wandering through the bushes below, with their speeder bikes parked nearby.
Han and Chewie were the first to take cover behind the bushes. Kat found herself sitting between Leia and Luke.
"Shall we try and go around?" Leia tried to suggest.
"It'll take time." Han replied. "This whole party'll be for nothing if they see us."
"Well, it appears we have come across the complex event that may result in total failure of which I usually refer to as 'a pickle'."
Three human heads and one Wookiee head all turned to her with confusion planted across their faces.
"What?" Kat stuck her hands up in defence.
There was another moment of silence as the five then looked ahead to see if there were any safe plan they could come up with.
"Chewie and I will take care of this." Han declared. "You stay here."
"Quietly!" Luke warned as they started to get up. "There might be more of them out there."
"Hey..." Han grinned. "It's me."
Han and Chewie turned and started through the bushes toward the scouts. Luke rolled his eyes, Kat shook her head and Leia smiled at the two.
Han snuck up behind one of the scouts, following him for a few steps before stomping on a twig. The Imperial scout whirled, knocking Han into a tree.
The scout shouted for his companion. "Go for help! Go!"
The second scout jumped on his speeder bike and took off, but Chewie pulled out his crossbow and shot, causing the scout to crash into a tree. Han and the scout were then in a rousing fistfight.
"Great." Luke mumbled sarcastically and motioned for the two women to follow him. "Come on."
Luke and Leia went down the hill the long and safe way, while Kat stood up and took one step forward, taking the painful hard way. She tumbled down the steep hillside as she swore numerous bad curses in Huttese.
She landed on her bum and stood back up immediately, adjusting her helmet and following her way over to Leia and Luke. Leia was pointing to where three more scouts were sitting on speeder bikes, with one more spare.
"Over there! One more of them!"
"I see them- wait, Leia!" Luke ran for her.
"Wait a diddly darn second!" Kat then sprinted for the two as fast as she could. "Leia!"
But Leia didn't hear them and raced for the remaining speeder bike. She started it up and took off as Luke jumped on the bike behind her, and as Kat latched onto Luke.
Leia was steering, Luke was shouting instructions at her and Kat held on him for dear life as she discovered the hard way that speeder bikes weren't designed for three people.
"Quick! Jam their commlink. Centre switch!"
The three sped into the dense foliage in hot pursuit, barely avoiding two huge trees.
"Move closer!" yelled Luke.
"I've made a grave mistake!" wailed Kat.
Leia gunned it, closing the gap, as the two scouts recklessly veered through a narrow gap in the trees. One of the Imperial's bike scraped a tree, slowing them down.
"Get alongside that one!"
Leia, remaining silent, pulled the speeder bike up so close to the scout's bike that their steering vanes scraped noisily. Luke, without giving any warning to Kat, leapt from his bike to the back of the scout's, grabbing the Imperial around the neck and flipping him off the bike into a thick tree trunk.
Kat, as she had been holding onto Luke, had been half dragged along with him and was now standing with one foot on Leia's bike and one on Luke's.
"I didn't sign up for this!" she wailed as she tried to gain balance, before she eyed a big tree that they were hastily gaining on.
As soon as Luke gained control of his bike he grabbed Kat's arm and pulled her down behind him just before she hit the tree and followed Leia, who had pulled ahead. They tear off after the remaining scout.
"Get him!" Luke shouted at Leia before leaning his head back to talk to Kat. "Medium rare yet?!"
"No," she replied. "I'm done! Very well done! Cooked through to the centre!"
The speeding chase passed two more Imperial scouts on their speeders. The two swung into the pursuit, chasing Luke, Kat and Leia, firing away with their laser cannons. The three Rebels look behind them just as Luke and Kat's bike took a glancing hit.
"Keep on that one!" Luke shouted to Leia. "We'll take these two!"
With Leia blasting ahead, Luke suddenly slammed his steering vanes into the braking mode, causing Kat's body to slam into Luke's.
"Well," he teased as they started going forward again. "I didn't realise you liked me that much."
"I could like you a whole lot more." She teased back as the laser cannons started firing.
"Perhaps we should save our flirting for safer times?"
"No better time than in battle!" she smirked. "Pull up next to one of them!"
"Which one?"
"Any, you numpty!"
As they slowly gained on one, Kat pulled her hood over her helmet and the front of her jacket over her mouth, closing her eyes and focusing on the speeder to her right.
"Close enough."
"What?!"
Before Kat could explain, she had leapt off from behind Luke and landed on the speeder a few metres in front of them, grasping her arm around the scout's neck.
Unhooking one of her lightsaber's, she pressed the tip of silver and gold metal hilt to the back of the Imperial.
"Surprise." She opened her golden eyes and ignited the red blade.
Han, Chewie, and the droids, along with the rest of the squad, waited anxiously in the clearing. Artoo's radar screen stuck out of his domed head and revolves, scanning the forest. He beeped his concern.
"Oh, General Solo," Threepio sounded worried. "somebody's coming." The all hid behind the trees and raised their weapons. "Oh!"
Out of the foliage came Luke as he ran into the clearing, puffing at the efforts he just made.
"Luke!" Han made his way over to Luke and looked around. "Where's Leia? And Snowball?"
"What?" Luke was concerned. "They didn't come back?"
"I thought she was with you."
"We got separated."
The two men exchanged silent and grim looks, but were surprised as the sound of one of the speeder bikes echoing from a distance.
No more than a few moments later, a speeder swooshed past them along with a long 'ahhhh'.
The wind blew across their faces as they took a step back so they wouldn't be killed by the maniac driving the bike.
"Kat?" asked Han.
"Kat." confirmed Luke.
The speeder bike came back around and this time came to a halt in the centre of the clearing.
Off it stumbled a bewildered and pale-faced Kat. Luke and Han immediately came to her aid as she wobbled around.
"I feel fantastic." She murmured to them.
"Wow," Han breathed as he held onto one of her arms and Luke held her securely around her waist. "I never thought I'd see the day your face matched your hair. What happened? Usually this doesn't happen when you fly."
"I'm used to avoiding blaster bolts, not trees." She spat. "And at one point I may have accidently jammed the steering."
Han rolled his eyes and Luke took in a sharp breath, realising what 'pickle' she had got herself into.
"Doesn't matter," she detatched herself from Luke and looked around with a frown slowly growing upon her forehead. "Where the hell is Leia?"
"Hey," Luke turned to Han. "We better go look for her."
Han nodded, and signalled to a Rebel officer. "Take the squad ahead. We'll meet at the shield generator at 0300. Kat, are you gonna be ok?"
"Just dandy." She breathed. "Gimme a minute and a walk and I'll be back to nuts."
"Come on, Artoo." Luke passed the droids. "We'll need your scanners."
Luke, Chewie, Han, Kat and the droids moved off in one direction as the squad proceeded in another.
"Don't worry, Master Luke." Threepio piped up. "We know what to do."
They moved off into the woods and Threepio started complaining again.
"And you said it was pretty here." He turned to Artoo. "Ugh! If only Seefor were here, he'd agree with me." The blue droid beeped at him. "Of course he would!"
The six of them spread out as they moved though the heavy foliage near the clearing where Luke last saw Leia. Kat was already receiving colour back to her face.
She sniffed the air. Burning… something was burning…
"Luke! Luke! Kat!"
Kat jolted in the direction Han's voice had come from, and skidded to a stop as she saw the charred wreckage of a speeder bike in the grass. Luke was holding one of the green helmets that was identical to Kat's.
That ain't good.
"Oh, Master Luke." Threepio tried to grasp his master's attention.
"There's two more wrecked speeders back there." Luke informed Han and Kat. "And I found this."
He tossed the helmet to Han.
"I'm afraid that Artoo's sensors can find no trace of Princess Leia." Threepio shook his head.
Han looked up gravely. "I hope she's alright."
Kat sighed and placed her hands to her hips, glancing down before closing her eyes. Leia, Leia… where the diddly darn heck are you?
The way Leia seemed to be interpreted through the Force was by a big… thumping sort of feeling. Not like a foot stomping, but like a heart pumping blood and flowing. It was like how she identified Luke through the Force as the feeling of sitting next to a warm heater after twenty-eight days on Hoth.
She felt it. The heartbeat. She concentrated all of her energy to it until it got bigger and bigger and bigger…
"She's not exactly close," Kat spoke, still concentrating. "but it's not like she's on the whole other side of the moon."
Han stared at the Jedi. "Where is she? Which way?"
"Hang on…" Kat was struggling for a hold on Leia's presence. "There's something else… it's getting in the way…"
"What?" Luke placed both his hands to her shoulders and stared intently at her closed eyes. "Concentrate on Leia. Keep everything you have on her, don't let go-"
Chewbacca growled, sniffing the air, and then with a bark, pushed off through the foliage.
"What, Chewie? What? Chewie!" Han ran off in pursuit of his first mate.
Kat's connection broke from the distractions and opened her eyes. "Too many other creatures and Chewie." She grabbed Luke's hand and ran off after Han.
"Other creatures?!" Luke yelled after her.
They all reached a break in the undergrowth. Chewie walked up to a tall stake planted in the ground with a dead animal hanging from it.
"Hey, I don't get it." Han frowned.
The rest of the group joined the Wookiee around the stake.
"Do you get that feeling, Luke?" Kat whispered to him. "Like, big 'keep out' signs?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "Big read flashing lights. Usually you're the one to ignore all that stuff."
"Nah, it's just a dead animal, Chewie." Han told the Wookiee.
Kat nudged Luke and winked, then quickly turned towards Chewbacca as he reached towards the dead animal.
Luke latched on. "Chewie, wa-wait! Don't!"
Too late. As Kat and Luke dove for Chewie, he had already pulled the animal from the stake. In a split second they were taken up in a large rope net and all in awkward positions.
"Nice work." Han mumbled as he removed a Wookiee paw from his mouth. "Great, Chewie! Great! Always thinking with your stomach."
"Will you take it easy?" Luke scolded. "Let's just figure out a way to get out of this thing!"
"How can I take this easy when there's a butt in my face?"
"At least it's not Chewie's!" Luke rolled his eyes.
Chewie roared at the offense.
Luke tried to free his arm. "Han, can you reach my lightsaber?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Luke, in my bum pocket there should be a small pocket vibroblade. See if you can get it without accidently sitting on my head."
"I can't see but I'll go for it…"
Luke's hand, of course, went to all the wrong placed first.
"No, no, no Luke, that's not my butt. Down and other side… ok, now in the-"
Han laughed as he heard a strange scream cross wail come from Kat.
"In the pocket, Luke, in the pocket!"
Artoo, at the bottommost point in the net, extended an arm with a cutting appendage on the end and began slicing at the net. Han was trying to squeeze an arm past Threepio to get at Luke's lightsaber, Luke was trying to get Kat's vibroblade from her, which was entertaining for Han, and the net continued to spin.
"Artoo, you better not tell Seefor of this!"
"Artoo, I'm not sure that's such a good idea." Threepio suggested to his friend. "It's a very long dro o-op!"
They all tumbled down, landing with a thud on the forest floor. Kat was wide eyed at how close Luke was to landing on her face.
They all sat up… to find other creatures staring them down and holding spears.
"By the Maker," Kat whispered. "they're all so terrifyingly cute."
Kat grasped onto Luke's shoulder as they stared around in awe. One of them pointed their spear directly at Han's face.
"Hey, point that thing someplace else!" he shoved the stick out of the way.
Kat opened her mouth to say something but Luke pushed a finger to her lips before anything snuck out. "No." he sternly said.
The spear only returned to Han's face. He grabbed it angrily and started to pull out his laser pistol. "Hey!"
"Han, don't." Luke warned. "It'll be all right."
The tiny bear-like creatures swarmed through them and confiscated their weapons. Kat grumbled as they took both her lightsabers. What the hell is Luke thinking?
"Chewie, give 'em your crossbow." Luke instructed as the Wookiee refused to give up his beloved weapon.
Threepio sat up for the first time, feeling rather rattled.
"Oh, my head!" he exclaimed. The creatures around them gasped, immediately bowing before him and singing a ritual. "Oh, my goodness…" Threepio turned his head around to get a good look at everything.
"What the diddly darn…?" Kat slowly began unclipping the clips to her helmet, as Threepio spoke to them in their language.
"Do you understand anything they're saying?" Luke asked.
"Oh, yes, Master Luke!" Threepio pleasantly replied. "Remember that I am fluent in over six million forms ofcommunication-"
"What are you telling them?" interrupted Han.
Threepio looked between Han and the creature. "Hello, I think... I could be mistaken. They're using a very primitive dialect. But do believe they think I am some sort of god."
Han and Luke exchanged a certain look, and Kat snorted before burying her head into Luke's shoulder, trying to hide her laughter.
"Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?" Han comically said.
"I beg your pardon, General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper."
"Proper?!"
"It's against my programming to impersonate a deity."
Han moved toward Threepio threateningly. "Why, you-"
Several fury creatures' spears thrust near Han's face at the affront to their god. They moved in to protect their precious god and Han was surrounded by a menacing circle of spears, all aimed at him. He held up his hands pleadingly.
"My mistake." He admitted. "He's an old friend of mine." He pointed his thumb at Threepio.
"I prefer distant cousin." added Kat as she removed her helmet. A vast number of spears now pointed in her direction and there was a lot of chatter amongst the creatures.
"Oh, what now?" Kat grumbled. "Disappointed my head isn't green?"
Threepio listened to them. "I do believe that they believe you are a type of god as well, Lieutenant-Commander Dravvaadas."
Luke covered his mouth so no one would hear him laugh. Kat struck him a glare before turning back to Threepio. "Well, if I'm a goddess of great beauty, which I am, why the heck are there spears aimed at my head?"
Threepio conversed with their leader. "They cannot decide. It's to do with your fur, Madame Kattalandte. They seem to believe you are a goddess of purity-"
Kat frowned. "Ironic. But that doesn't explain their will to have my head off."
"I was just getting to that part. You also show the traits of the god from the vast white wasteland that has no end to the horizon; their idea of hell."
Han smirked at her. "Do they wanna take a trip to Hoth?"
"I'm taking a bet it's the second one." Kat's face went emotionless.
Threepio listened to the leader again, shook his head, and turned back to Kat. "Oh… I am sorry, Lieutenant-Commander…"
Luke raised his eyebrows and patted Kat on the back. "Well… good luck."
The only thing exciting that has happened to me since my last update was that I went outside. The outdoors can be a pretty scary place.
- yoda-is-cool.