Its dawn at the Drawn Together, and everyone is still asleep in their rooms. In the guys' room, Lightning Lizard emerges from his bed. The young man yawns, grabs a yoga mat that was rolled up near his bed and exits from the room. He heads down into the backyard and sets the yoga mat near the pool. He stands on it, with his hands together, observing the sunrise, as if about to do yoga.
"And now for my morning exercises," he said to himself. Then, he whips a pan and a metal spoon out of nowhere and proceeds to bang them very loudly together. "WAKE UP! IT'S MORNING!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.
Lightning raced back into the house, where he proceeded to make a lot of noise. He poured fruit into a blender and switched it on, turned the radio, which was unfortunately on the rock station, and put it nearly on full blast. He grabbed a bigger pot and spoon and raced upstairs, banging the two objects together.
Flory is in the confessional, and said, "From the moment I heard that sound of the banging from outside, I knew Lightning was starting his morning ritual. I just hope the others would forgive him for it."
Lightning barged into the male housemates' room and shouted, "UP AND AT 'EM! EVERYBODY OUT OF BED!"
Spanky fell out of his bed, out of surprise. "What's going on!" he asked.
"It's morning! That's what's going on!" Lightning replied. The young man whipped out a pan and struck Captain Hero several times in the face, making the Hero sit up shouting fearfully, "I'm up! Is there a fire! Are we being attacked by aliens!"
"No, it's morning!" Lightning exclaimed.
The boy jumped on Wooldoor's bed and started to do a jig on the sleeping Wooldoor.
"No Mommy, I don't want to go to school today! I want to stay home and make cookies with you!" Wooldoor cried.
"Wooldoor! I ain't your mommy, and the only thing we're making this morning is noise! And maybe some breakfast afterward!" Lightning shouted.
Xandir at that point sat up in his bed, rubbing his head. "Xandir! You awake!" Lightning asked loudly.
"Ugh, yeah, but I feel a little nauseous," Xandir groaned.
"It might be because you haven't eaten breakfast yet! I made a smoothie downstairs. It's yours!" Lightning offered before going to Ling-Ling and shocked the battle monster awake.
"(Who wishes to challenge Ling-Ling to a battle?)" He questioned.
"Nobody! That was the only way I knew how to wake you up!" Lightning shouted. The boy ran out of the guys' room and into the girls room. He jumped onto the canopy of Clara's bed, where he proceeded to tap dance on it, saying, "Clara, Clara, Clara! CLARA!"
Clara immediately sat up and shouted, "Okay! I'm awake!"
Lightning jumped off of the canopy and landed on his feet on Toot's band, causing the fat girl to fall out of her bed.
"You rotten son of a bitch!" she shouted, trying to throw her lamp at the lizard man. Lightning dodged it and ran out of the room, still banging the pot and spoon together.
Foxxy shot awake and asked, "What the hell just happened? I heard a lot of noise!"
"Lightning Lizard gave us an early wake-up call!" Toot complained.
"Don't worry, the first time he does it, it's frustrating, but you'll get used to it," Flory said, entering the room.
"You're already awake?" Clara asked.
"Yeah, I get up before the little rascal does so I won't have to suffer. I have breakfast ready on the table. It's organic oatmeal mixed with raisins, tofu bacon and eggs, and organic yogurt, and Lightning already got started on smoothies," Flory stated.
Everyone went downstairs to see Flory had already made breakfast, like she said, and Lightning had made ten glasses of smoothies.
Spanky eyed the clock on the microwave to see it was 7:00 am. "You asshole! It's only 7 in the morning!" the pig shouted at the Y-Man.
"Like me and Flory's grandmother says, 'If you waste the morning, you waste the whole day'," Lightning quoted. "NOW SIT DOWN AND DRINK GODDAMN SMOOTHIES!"
Everyone took a seat quickly and sipped their smoothies like ordered, not wanting to irritate Lightning. "He's scarier than Sid from Final Fantasy 7," Xandir muttered.
After breakfast, Xandir was in the confessional, saying, "Lightning's smoothie did help a little with my nausea, but I still felt a little sick." Xandir moved slowly around the house, groaning and holding his stomach. "Maybe I drank something expired the night before, maybe I caught the flu, I didn't know what it was, until I remembered the 'power-up potion' that weird guy gave me last week."
Xandir went into the girl's room, where he found Flory meditating surrounded by burning opium sticks and scented candles.
"Flory! That potion I drank last week! I think it was poison!" Xandir exclaimed, freaking out.
"Xandir, if that potion was poison, it would've killed you as soon as you drank it or in the middle of the night you drank it. Also, like I said, I didn't smell any poison from it," Flory told the video game character.
"I don't know. I just have a feeling I'm going to have some bad consequences after drinking that potion. I already feel like I'm going to throw up," Xandir said.
"Maybe it's the flu. Just take some sort of medicine and you'll be fine, or maybe you're stressing yourself out to much. When I do too much stuff in one day, I feel a little sick. Just relax," Flory tried to assure her friend. Xandir still remained uncertain.
Spanky was in the living room later that day, flipping through channels on the TV when Flory walked by. "Hey Flory, have a beer," Spanky said, tossing a can of beer to Flory.
Flory immediately tossed it back. "Sorry man, if I drink even one drop of alcohol, I'll transform into a bitch," the hippie told the pig. She walked out of the house into the backyard. Lightning Lizard entered the living room.
"What's her deal? She doesn't drink beer at all. Not even a little. She's 21, right?" Spanky said.
"Yeah, she is, but she does have a good reason not to drink, or smoke tobacco," Lightning stated.
"She told me she'd become a bitch. I get that alcohol can change how you act, but I can put up with a bad attitude," Spanky said.
"Okay, this will be a little complicated to explain, but Flory has…other forms," Lightning said.
"Other forms? You mean like what she turned into when she killed Vigorous Vixen?" Spanky said.
"Yeah, but her clothes don't just change. Her hair color, skin, eyes, and entire attitude change! She'll also treat everyone she knows very differently. It depends on what she uses. The hippie girl you know now is how she is when she uses LSD and marijuana. When she drinks alcohol and smokes a cigarette, she turns into a complete bitch. When she chews tobacco, she becomes a little more confident and acts like a cowgirl. When she uses hard drugs, she becomes this foul beast. I don't know what happens when she's sober, but it's probably harmless. Whatever you do, don't give Flory alcohol or a cigarette. The last thing we want is for her to be a bitch to everyone in the household and getting herself kicked out," Lightning Lizard warned his friend. The Y-Man walked out of the house and used his electricity powers to fly into the sky.
"Hmm…different personalities. This could make my day a little more interesting," Spanky said, getting a sneaky grin on his face.
Meanwhile, with Xandir, the man was still feeling sick, despite taking Flory's advice and trying to relax and take some medicine for nausea. He lied down on his bed and tried to relax or at least fall asleep a little while, but his stomach was still bugging him. It even ached a little.
"Maybe I just have to use the restroom. I don't think I've gone at all today," Xandir assumed, as he exited the guys' room and went down the hall to the bathroom. He entered the bathroom to see it was empty.
He went to the toilet and was about to undo his loincloth, when he felt something starting to come up his throat. "Oh shit," Xandir muttered, before leaning over and throwing up into the toilet. He took a deep breath afterward, his throat sore from the vomit coming up so quickly. "Well, that's over," he muttered. Then he felt nauseous again, muttering, "Oh god," before throwing up again. He continued to throw up for the next 5 minutes until he no longer felt sick and his stomach stopped aching.
"Dear god that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me, other than that one time Toot forced me to fuck her," Xandir groaned.
The video game character grabbed a thermometer from the medicine cabinet and took his temperature. He tapped his foot as he waited for the result until her heard a beep. He removed the thermometer from his mouth and saw that he had a normal temperature. "That's odd. No fever? How come I don't have a fever?" Xandir asked himself.
Then, Xandir remembered something from F.L.E when he was in high school; if a woman were to become pregnant. She'd get morning sickness a week after and not have a fever. No, there was no way Xandir was pregnant…was there? Xandir took another look at the medicine cabinet until he took notice of a pregnancy test. Xandir locked the bathroom door before taking the box out of the cabinet and starting to open it.
Downstairs, Spanky had poured wine into some glasses when Toot and Wooldoor walked into the room.
"Spanky, what are you doing? Is there a special guest coming here tonight? Is it a boy? Is he single?" Toot asked.
"Well, in a sense there is going to be a guest, but at the same time, it won't be a guest," Spanky said.
"Who is it?" Wooldoor asked, curious.
"One of Flory's other personalities," Spanky said.
"Flory has multiple personality disorder?" Wooldoor asked.
"Sort of, but it only affects her depending on what sort of drug she uses," Spanky said.
"Are you sure this is safe?" Toot asked.
"Lightning didn't go into much detail about what she's like when she drinks alcohol. Just that she's a bitch," Spanky said.
At that point, Flory entered the house and Spanky hid the bottle. "Hey Flory, have a drink," the pig offered the hippie.
"I don't dri-," Flory started to say when Spanky interrupted saying, "Relax, it's organic grape juice."
Flory took the glass into her hands and eyed the pig full of suspicion, but she raised the glass to her lips, about to drink it.
In the confessional, Toot said, "Part of me wanted to stop Flory from drinking the wine, but another part of me wanted to know what this other personality was like."
Flory sipped a little of the wine before dropping the glass to the floor and gagging.
"Oh my god!" Toot screamed.
"What did you do!" Wooldoor shouted.
"Nothing! I didn't do anything to the drink!" Spanky said.
At that point, Foxxy entered the kitchen. "What the hell is going on? I thought heard something break down here," Foxxy said until she saw Flory. "Oh lordy! What's wrong with her?" Foxxy asked.
"I don't know! All I did was give her some wine," Spanky said.
"What's going on in here?" Lightning Lizard asked as he barged into the house. He yelped when he saw Flory choking.
"What happened?" the boy asked when he took notice of shattered glass and a purple liquid on the floor. He got low to the floor and sniffed the liquid. He jumped to his feet shouting, "WINE! WHO GAVE FLORY WINE!?"
Toot and Wooldoor pointed at Spanky. "Assholes," Spanky muttered.
"You bastard! What'd I tell you about giving her alcohol! Now we're all going to be fucked! No sexually speaking, but brutally speaking!" Lightning shouted.
"What's happening to Flory? Her skin is turning white, he eyes are turning red, and her hair his turning black!" Wooldoor screamed.
"Whoa, girl, look at her highlights! They're turning red!" Foxxy exclaimed, pointing at the pink highlights in Flory's hair as they started to turn red. Her blonde hair was also turning black, her blue eyes were changing to red and her tan skin was paling into white, like Wooldoor said.
"What's going to happen to her?" Toot asked.
"She's turning into…Noir!" Lightning stated as lightning flashed behind him.
"Noir? Is that her bitchy personality?" Spanky asked.
"Yeah, we called it that because of her black hair," Lightning explained.
Then, before anyone knew it, Flory's body began to glow like she was transforming. Her clothes changed just like last time, but they were different. She was wearing a black shirt with her sides exposed and short dark red sleeves that consisted of three sleeves that were pointed at the top, a dark red skirt with a black waistband and black near the fringe, a dark red cape, black gloves that went halfway up to her shoulders, dark red metal armbands that went up to her elbows, and black boots that went halfway past her knees. She also wore a black choker with a red crescent shape on it, a gold head band with a red gem in the middle, black stud earrings, her hair was up in a ponytail and she brandished a sword with a gold handle and a black blade.
"Oh my god! She looks like she came straight from hell!" Toot shouted.
"What's this about coming straight from hell?" Clara asked, entering the room. The princess screamed when she saw the girl called Noir. Noir just stood there and observed the people that stood nearby. She gave everyone a disgusting look, as if there was something about them she didn't like.
"Who is she?" Clara asked.
"That girl used to be Flory," Foxxy said.
"Flory!" Clara gasped.
"No, not Flory. Flory is asleep now. You'll have to deal with me for now," Noir sneered.
"And who are you, demon?" Clara questioned.
"Demon? That's a new nickname. That name's Noir, Sailor Noir. I'm one hell of a bitch," Noir said sadistically.
She pointed her sword at the TV, where a red beam shot out of the tip and destroyed the television.
"No! Not the TV! I was going to watch Jeopardy later!" Lightning shouted.
"Lightning Gecko. We meet again," Noir greeted harshly.
"The name's Lightning Lizard! Get it right you damn cunt!" Lightning snapped.
"What'd you say!" Noir shouted, running at Lightning, about to stab him in the stomach when the boy jumped out of the way, causing her the jam the blade into Toot's stomach.
"ARGH! You bastard!" Toot shouted as Noir yanked the dagger out of her, letting her fall to the ground, dead.
"Oh my god! She killed Toot!" Wooldoor shouted, hiding behind Foxxy.
"You sick bitch!" Foxxy snapped.
"What do you want, you fucking n*****," Noir asked. Everyone gasped.
Foxxy glared at Noir angrily. "Girl…you did not just say that word!" she snapped.
"What word? N*****?" Noir said, getting an evil grin on her face.
Foxxy shouted, "That's it! This bitch is mine!" Foxxy said, punching Noir dead in the face.
"You wretch!" Noir hissed, trying to stab Foxxy when the girl dodged the attack and went over to the knife, where she grabbed the longest blade.
"Now we're evenly matched!" Foxxy said.
Noir scoffed before the two girls began to sword fight with their weapons.
"Yeah! Go get her Foxxy!" Spanky cheered.
"Where's Xandir! He's good with swords, right?" Wooldoor asked. "And by swords I mean real swords, not the metamorphic ones!"
Upstairs, Xandir sat in the corner of the bathroom, shaking with fear as he observed the result on the pregnancy: 2 pink lines. "Oh my god! I'm pregnant!" he shouted. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!"
Back downstairs, Foxxy and Noir were still sword fighting. "What do we do! How do we turn Flory back?" Clara asked Lightning.
"We need either some LSD or marijuana, but I don't know where Flory kept it. I think it might be somewhere in her room," Lightning said.
"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Clara said. The princess and Y-Man ran upstairs to the girls' room.
Captain Hero and Ling-Ling then entered the room. "What's going on?" the superhero asked. When he saw Foxxy and Noir fighting, he exclaimed, "Oh! A cat fight! Is there betting because I think that pale chick will win!"
"That pale chick is Flory. She drank wine and became this girl named Noir. It's too complicated to explain," Spanky said.
At that point, Noir threw Foxxy down onto the table, causing it to shatter, and grabbed Foxxy's knife out of her hand and threw it aside. "This is the end for you, Foxxy Love!" Noir shouted.
"NO!" Wooldoor and Spanky shouted.
"Oh man, guys, if she kills me, tell my children Timmy, Kwametta, and Ray-Ray their mother loved them and is sorry she couldn't take care of them," Foxxy said.
"No! Cause you're going to live!" Wooldoor shouted as he and Spanky lunged at Noir, tackling her away from Foxxy. The two men held Noir's arms behind her back, keeping the girl from attacking.
"Release me you dirty pig and freaky yellow creature!" Noir shouted.
"I don't think so, sister," Spanky said.
"This is the end for you!" Wooldoor grabbed the blade out of Noir's hand and raised it over her neck, about to stab her.
"Wait! Flory might still be in there somewhere! If we kill Noir, we kill her!" Foxxy shouted.
"Oh no, you're right! But how do we turn her back?" Wooldoor asked.
Before someone could say something, Noir broke free from his and Spanky's grip, tossing them aside and grabbing her knife back.
"Weak little bastards! You can't stop me! I'm invincible!" Noir exclaimed.
"Xandir! Wherever you are, get down here! We need you!" Wooldoor shouted.
Xandir was still locked up in the bathroom when he heard Wooldoor shout, "Xandir!"
"Huh? Wooldoor?" Xandir said. The video game character exited the bathroom and went into the hall. He saw Clara and Lightning in the girls' room, with a cigarette and some marijuana leaves.
"What's going on?" he asked his friends.
"Flory drank wine and now she's transformed into a girl named Noir and going crazy. She's trying to kill everyone!" Clara exclaimed.
"Can you go down there and try to keep her occupied while me and Clara work on a way to get the real Flory back?" Lightning asked as he scooped the tobacco out of the cigarette.
Xandir, knowing he was possibly pregnant, knew there'd be a few risks for him and the baby if he fought Noir, but he couldn't let that bitch kill his friends. "You have my word," Xandir said, whipping out his sword. The young man ran downstairs to find Noir, approaching his friends with her sword.
"Now, which one of you will I scalp first?" she said.
"Hold it right there, you bitch!" Xandir shouted, getting the girl's attention.
"Xandir!" Wooldoor, Spanky, Foxxy and Captain Hero exclaimed happily.
"Xandir? You sent this fag down here to deal with me, Lightning. I'd love to see this pansy try," Noir sneered.
Xandir gritted his teeth angrily before running at Noir and clashing swords with her. The two people sword fought each other professionally. "Finally! Someone that knows how to swordfight! You're a much better opponent than that black bitch I dealt with before you got here," Noir said, smirking.
"Hey! I heard that!" Foxxy shouted.
"You think Foxxy is a bitch? You're wrong, Noir. The only bitch in this household at the moment is you!" Xandir shouted.
Noir narrowed her eyes angrily before she started fighting him even harder and faster, but Xandir managed to keep up with her to the point their swords clashed and there was a loud crack. Within seconds, the blade of Noir's sword broke off the handle and fell to the floor. "My sword!" Noir gasped.
"Now you're finished," Xandir said, about to slice his sword at the girl when Clara ran downstairs, carrying a tray. "No! Don't kill her! We surrender!" she shouted.
"What!" Xandir gasped.
"What!" everyone else exclaimed.
"What?" Noir said, confused.
"You heard us, we surrender," Lightning said, walking downstairs.
"Yes, and we hope you accept this single cigarette we're offering as a peace offering," Clara said, going down on one knee, raising the tray up high enough, revealing a cigarette and a lighter on it.
"Well, it's about time you learned your place. Why can't you assholes be more like her," Noir sneered as she approached.
"Are you crazy! If we surrender, Noir'll take control on this house and that'll be the end of our show," Foxxy said.
Clara and Lightning didn't say anything; they just glanced at Foxxy and winked at her. Foxxy then got the feeling they were up to something.
Noir took the cigarette into her fingers and lit it. "I've been needing a smoke all day," she said as she breathed in the smoke. Then she got a mortified expression on her face and screamed, "Wait! This isn't tobacco! It's…marijuana! NOOOOOO!"
Within seconds, Noir's body began t glow as she screamed in agony. Everyone watched in surprised as Noir transformed back to Flory in seconds. "Whoa, what happened in here? I remember choking and blacking out," the hippie girl asked when she saw most of the living room was destroyed.
"FLORY!" everyone shouted, running to hug the girl.
"Did I go somewhere?" she asked.
"You transformed into Noir and tried to kill us all! You actually succeeded in killing Toot!" Wooldoor stated.
"What! Oh no! How did I transform into Noir?" Flory asked.
Spanky laughed nervously and tried to exit from the room.
"Oh no you don't!" Foxxy said, grabbing the pig by the back of his shirt and pulling him back.
"I can't catch a break, can I?" Spanky sighed. "Fine, it was me. I tricked you into drinking alcohol because I wanted to see what this bitch version of you. I thought she'd have a bad attitude, but you didn't exactly mention the part about her being a sadistic, crazy cunt."
"Eh, no problem. At least it's all over now, but what are we going to do about Toot? She's dead now," Flory asked.
"Don't worry; she'll be back in the next episode. Nobody really dies in Drawn Together. Not the main characters at least," Foxxy said.
"Well that's a relief," Lightning said. "But there is a lesson to be learned from all of this; and that's to never give Flory alcohol or tobacco cigarettes. Ever again."
Well, we meet one of Flory's other personalities and Xandir is pregnant! And spoiler alert for a later episode, we'll meet more of Flory's other personalities, but not one in every episode.
I own Flory and Lightning Lizard
Comedy Central owns Drawn Together
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