A week later, Xandir went into the girls' room, where he found Flory, lighting some incense in the room to keep it smelling nice.
"Hey Xandir, I was just lighting some incense to keep the room smelling fresh. Toot has been stealing some midnights snacks from the fridge and the room hasn't been smelling real groovy because she forgets to throw everything out, so I thought I'd fix it," Flory said.
"That's nice Flory, but I think we have a much bigger problem than Toot's midnight snack habit," Xandir said.
"What is it, Xandir?" Flory asked.
Xandir looked around to be sure nobody was listening in before whispering into Flory's ear, "I think I might be pregnant."
Flory gave Xandir a confused look before saying, "Xandir, how can you be pregnant? You're a guy. Don't you remember Foxxy's lesson about sex and getting pregnant in the episode of Drawn Together, 'Clara's Dirty Little Secret'."
"Yes, I remember, but that potion that guy gave me might've caused it," Xandir explained.
"How do you know it caused you to get pregnant?" Flory asked.
Xandir pulled out several used pregnancy tests. "I used at least 5 of these tests! They're all positive!" he exclaimed. "I took the first one on the night you turned into Noir and went nuts."
Flory observed all the pregnancy tests, expressing concern. Was Xandir really pregnant from the power-up? It wasn't possible, but there was only one way to confirm it. "Xandir, do you still have that vial the guy gave you?" Flory asked.
"Yeah, it's right here," Xandir said, handing it to Flory.
Flory observed the small flask and saw there were a still few drops left inside. "Good, there's still some left. That means we can take it to a scientist to find out exactly what you drank," Flory said. "Come on, let's go find a doctor." The hippie grabbed the video game character and pulled him out of the Drawn Together.
"Where are you going?" Clara asked her friends.
"Doctor's appointment," Flory said.
"What for? Is someone sick?" Clara asked.
"Nope, just for a check-up. Nothing serious," Flory lied as she and Xandir went inside a psychedelic patterned van and drove off.
The duo drove off to the nearest hospital and met with a doctor. "So, let me get this straight. Your gay friend here thinks he's pregnant," the doctor said, after Flory explained the scenario.
"Yeah doc, that's what he said. He took 5 pregnancy tests and they were all positive, and 2 weeks ago, he drank some strange potion from this random guy in an alley. I have the vial right here," Flory stated, handing the flask to the doctor.
"We're going to have to send this to a lab to figure out what exactly your friend ingested. In the meantime, we'll run some tests to figure out if you're really pregnant," the doctor said.
Meanwhile, back at the Drawn Together house, Lightning Lizard and Captain Hero were watching TV when Toot walked into the room, grabbed the remote, and turned off the TV. "What the fuck, Toot! We were watching America's Next Top Superhero! They were just about to vote out Squirrel girl! She sucks!" Lightning whined.
"Something crazy happened at the mall and I need someone to vent to. And since Xandir and Flory aren't here to listen, you're my next best option. If you listen really good, I'll leave you alone," Toot said.
"Fine, then, vent away," Lightning said.
"Well, I was about to pick out this gorgeous pair of shoes in the shoe section when this other lady came up and grabbed them, so I said, 'hey lady, I was about to take those!' and the lady said 'well you should've taken them faster', so I said…" Toot started to ramble. It didn't take long for Captain Hero to drone out her voice and just stare at Toot. After 5 minutes, Toot finished her story saying, "…and before I knew it, me, along with the 12 dozen other women in the shoe section, were escorted out of the mall, and that transsexual man ended up getting the shoes. Now I'm going to have to go to court in order to be allowed back in the mall again."
"Wow, all of that only for a pair of shoes? I wish I was there," Lightning said. Then the young man noticed Hero seemed zoned out. "Hey Hero! You awake?" the Y-Man asked the other superhero.
Captain Hero bounced back into reality and said, "Yes, and I heard every word."
"Really? Then what was the story I just told you about?" Toot questioned.
"Um…something about a sandwich?" Hero guessed.
"Nooooo! It was about a major catfight in the shoe section over a pair of shoes at the mall!" Toot snapped.
"There was a catfight at the mall! Who won?" Hero asked excitedly.
"You didn't even listen to me at all!" Toot shouted.
"You didn't listen to the story? Man, that's terrible," Lightning said. "Even I listened and I don't listen to girl stories all that often. In fact, you don't seem to listen to any of the girls' stories in this house. Not Foxxy, not Clara, not Toot, and not even Flory! Even if they're not even telling a story."
"I did listen! I was just messing with Toot about the sandwich thing. I listened to the story, I swear!" Hero defended.
"Really, well then I suppose you don't mind taking a test that goes with my story," Toot said, whipping out a test booklet and an answer-sheet out of nowhere.
"When'd you make that?" Lightning asked.
"On the bus on the way him. It's really slow and I did this just in case I suspected someone of not listening," Toot explained as he gave Hero the test.
"These questions don't even make any sense! Name the brand of the shoe Toot and the other women were fighting over? What was the name of the store clerk? I can't answer these," Captain Hero said.
"That's because you didn't listen!" Toot snapped before stomping out of the living room.
"Dude, you have got to stop with this ignoring a girl's story thing. Some stories spoken by women are actually pretty cool, especially if there's a catfight involved," Lightning said.
"I can't help it. When I try to listen, I always zone out," Hero said.
"Hero, the girls in this house have spent most of their lives listening to your stories, now it's time for you to listen to theirs, otherwise if wouldn't be fair," Lightning Lizard said.
"I hate to admit this to another superhero, but you're right, but how do I listen to women better?" Hero asked.
Lightning paced around the living room on the floor before he began to walk on the wall and then the ceiling, due to his lizard abilities, until a light bulb clicked in his head. He jumped off of the ceiling and landed on his toes on top of Hero's head, saying, "I got it! There's a scientist in town that knows a lot about medicine, potions, and other stuff. This person has to help you!"
"Are you sure?" Hero asked.
"Most definite!" Lightning exclaimed. "Let's go! Up, up, and away!" Lightning used his electrical powers to fly out of the window.
"Hey! That's my line!" Captain Hero whined as he flew after the Y-Man.
Back at the hospital, Xandir had just returned from the tests with the doctor to determine if he was pregnant and Flory was awaiting the results about what was the liquid Xandir drank.
"Man, those tests were annoying. They had to check my blood pressure a dozen times and ask me a lot of questions, mostly regarding sex," Xandir complained.
"Well, they kind of had to," Flory said. "I'm still waiting to find out what that potion you drank was."
Then, the doctor entered the waiting room. "Well, the scientist found out the liquid you drank was a special potion that can allow someone to become pregnant, regardless of gender. Turns out, the exact potion was stolen from the lab 2 weeks ago by an unknown man who matches the description of him you gave us. So, Xandir, you are in fact pregnant," the doctor stated.
Xandir jumped to his feet, shouting, "Oh my god! Oh my god! OHMIGOD!" repeatedly and walking all around the room.
The doctor watched Xandir, freaked out.
"Don't worry, doc, he always gets like this. He'll calm down in a few moments," Flory stated. "Now, who came up with this potion?"
"A woman named Prof. Reivax. She works as a pharmacist and alchemist, inventing all sorts of potions and pills for all sorts of things. She just came up with a pill that allows men to retain information from women without actually listening to them, but she said there are still a few things that need to be fixed," the doctor stated.
"How does the potion work?" Flory asked.
"Well, it gets the user pregnant, and the number of infants they'll have depends on the dosage. Since this is a small dosage, Xandir will only have one. The baby will have Xandir's DNA, but it won't be a clone, it could be different regarding gender or genes from his parents, like Xandir is blonde but the baby could get brown hair or something like that," the doctor explained.
"How will Xandir have the baby? C-section?" Flory asked.
"That is an option, but Xandir can develop a vagina and have the baby naturally. Then, sometime after having the baby, the vagina will seal up and vanish," the doctor stated.
"I'm going to get a vagina!" Xandir gasped.
"Relax man, it won't be good for the baby, and also, it won't be permanent," Flory said.
"Well, the guys are going to make a lot of jokes about this," Xandir mumbled as he and Flory exited the hospital.
Back with Lightning Lizard and Captain Hero, the two super-humans entered a large building and saw a female scientist working with some chemicals.
"Excuse me, mam, but do you know where I can find a scientist who can help me with my listening to women problem?" Captain Hero asked the lady.
"That would be me. I'm Prof. Reivax," the woman said.
"My lizard friend here said you'd be able to help me with my problem. How can you?" Captain Hero asked.
"Well, Captain Hero, I have this pill that'll allow you to retain information from a woman without ever actually listening to her. I made it for my husband when his listening for my stories seemed to deteriorate. It was successful, but there were a few problems, but if you follow my instructions, you can use the pills without any troubles, now listen closely…" Prof. Reivax said.
As she started to explain the pill, Captain Hero began to zone out again and heard nothing. When she finished, she asked, "Now, do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand perfectly well," Captain Hero lied. The superhero took the canister of pills from Prof. Reivax and flew back home. Back at the Drawn Together, Flory, Xandir, Captain Hero, and Lightning Lizard arrived home at the same time.
"What should I do? Everyone will go nuts if they find out I'm pregnant," Xandir said.
"Relax, Xandir, I'll explain everything if you want," Flory offered her friend.
"Thanks Flory, you're a good friend," Xandir said.
Flying above, Lightning asked, "Now, are you going to try the pill now or are you going to wait till later?"
"I'm not sure. I don't really feel like talking to any of the girls today, and after that incident with Toot, I'm pretty sure she might've vented to the other girls and they might not want to talk to me," Hero said.
"Hey, there's Flory and Xandir! Maybe you can ask Flory what she did today. I don't think she knows what happened earlier," Lightning said.
"Great idea! I'll go take the pill while you keep Flory and the others in the same room so I can show off what I good listener I've become!" Captain Hero ordered the Y-Man before flying into the guys' room. Hero went into the bathroom where he took out one of the pills from the canister and swallowed it. "And so the test begins," Hero said before he exited the bathroom. Flory and Xandir entered the house to see everyone was either in the living room, watching TV, or in the kitchen.
"Now, I won't tell everyone straight out, I normally wait for someone to ask what happened today so I have a good excuse to bring up stuff like this," Flory whispered to Xandir.
At that point, Captain Hero ran down the stairs and up to Flory very excitedly, and said, "Hello Flory."
"Hey Captain Hero," Flory greeted her roommate.
"How was your day today? Did anything exciting happen? Meet any new people? See a catfight at the mall?" Hero asked, eager to see if the pill worked.
Flory smiled and said, "Yeah, actually something did happen today. You see-."
"Don't bother telling him anything, Flory. He won't listen to a woman," Toot said.
"Come on! I'll listen this time! I swear!" Hero said.
"Fine, you can listen, but I'll be taking notes so I can make a test to see if you really did listen or if you're just going to ignore Flory completely like the asshole that you are," Toot warned the superhero.
"Deal," Hero said, shaking Toot's hand before he turned back to Flory. "Now, go on."
"Well, 2 weeks ago, Xandir told me he got this power-up potion from this strange guy in an alley, and a week later…" Flory told the story to the other housemates. Everyone listened closely to the hippie, Captain Hero most of all. He could feel all the information being retained in his head and he could tell the pill was working.
"So, what did the doctor say?" Wooldoor asked.
"As it turns out, and you'll be very surprised to hear this or maybe a little freaked out to hear this, Xandir is pregnant," Flory said.
"Really?!" Toot and Lightning Lizard exclaimed as they're jaws dropped to the floor.
"For real-real, not for play-play?" Foxxy asked.
"But that's impossible! Xandir is a man! This is a sin against God! Only women can be pregnant!" Clara shouted.
"You think it's a sin against God, I think it's a miracle by God," Flory stated.
"Is this some kind of weird joke?" Spanky asked.
"Nope, I have all the information right here," Flory said, whipping out a folder full of the details about Xandir's pregnancy.
Foxxy grabbed the file and looked through it. "She's telling the truth, ya'll, out friend Xandir is going to have a baby," she said.
"There's going to be a new baby in the house! That's awesome! Whee!" Wooldoor cheered.
"Xandir, it's not too late to get an abortion! Or commit suicide! If you have this baby, the demons will escape from hell and take over the Earth and kill everyone!" Clara screamed.
"Clara, calm down! Xandir only got pregnant because of a potion, not from sex. I'm pretty sure we'll all be okay," Flory told the princess.
"Sweet, I guess that means I'm going to be an uncle," Lightning said.
"You jerk! I want to be the uncle!" Hero argued.
"You can't handle being the uncle!" Lightning snarled. Within seconds, the two superheroes started to fight one another.
"Um, guys, none of you can be the uncle. You're not my brothers, heck, we're not even related," Xandir said.
Hero and Lightning paused their fight to say, "Can't you at least think of us a family?" before continuing their battle.
"Aw, that's sweet," Xandir said.
"Okay, Hero, I've finished the listening test, now let's see if you really listened to what Flory said," Toot said, handing Captain Hero a test booklet and answer sheet. In the confessional, Hero said, "I didn't listen to a single word Flory said, but my mind did retain the information I needed to answer the questions to Toot's listening test, and I got through it in only 10 minutes!"
"Done!" Hero exclaimed, handing Toot the test.
"Well, that was faster than I thought," Toot said, sounding surprised. She looked over the test and her eyes widened in surprise. "I don't believe it! All of these answers are correct!" she gasped. "You did listen!"
"Wow, that's rare," Flory said.
"I told you I'd listen," Hero said to Toot.
While everyone started to talk to Xandir about his pregnancy, Hero whispered to Lightning, "I can't believe it! That pill actually worked!"
"Well, it was made by Prof. Reivax, so it was bound to work, and it's still just as effective even if it was only half of the pill," Lightning said.
"Yeah-wait, what do you mean by half of the pill?" Hero asked, confused.
"You were only supposed to take half of the pill, not the whole thing, otherwise there would be some sort of bad side effect," Lightning explained. "Why? What's wrong?"
"I assumed I had to take the whole pill," Hero said.
"Assumed? Reivax clearly said you only had to take half of each pill until she could figure out how to make it small-wait! You didn't listen to her! Good god, Hero!" Lightning half-shouted.
"What were these side effects?" Hero asked just when he started to get a weird feeling in his head. "I'll get back to you in a few moments," the superhero said as he walked upstairs.
The superhero's head continued to ache as he entered the bathroom and locked the door. "Dear god, what's happening to me?" Captain Hero asked himself.
Then, before he knew it, he threw up all over the bathroom floor, and to make it even more bizarre, his vomit was pink!
"What the hell!" he shouted.
He felt pain in his hands, and when he looked at his hands, he noticed his fingers were becoming thinner and his fingernails appeared to be growing longer and within seconds they turned pink as if there was nail polish painted on them. His feet ached next and Hero watched as his feet shrunk and his toenails poked out of his shoes, revealing to be covering in pink nail polish. Captain Hero saw in the mirror his hair was beginning and the bulge in his pants shrunk until he could no longer feel his cock down there and two bulges started to form on his chest as his chest hair disappeared. Captain Hero felt his waist get smaller and before he knew it, he had an hourglass frame. Then, he saw his head become thinner and he developed thicker lips. When the transformation was complete, Captain Hero looked into the mirror to discover he had become a woman!
"Oh my god! What the fuck happened to me!" he shouted, but his voice didn't sound like his own, it sounded like his sister's, Captain She-ro's! Hero ran downstairs to tell the others what happened.
"So, you got pregnant by some potion that was made by Prof. Reivax? I just saw her earlier today with Captain Hero," Lightning Lizard said to Xandir until he saw Captain Hero enter the room.
"Hello, mam, can I help you?" he asked Hero.
"Lightning! It's me! Captain Hero!" Hero told his friend. Everyone gasped in shock.
"Jesus Christmas, Hero! What the hell happened to you!" Lightning screamed.
"I don't know! Either I've gone crazy or I've turned into a woman!" Captain Hero screamed.
"What's the difference?" Spanky asked.
Hero, Spanky and Lightning laughed for a few seconds until Hero snapped, "Seriously! This is fucked up!"
"Oh my god! You look like your sister, Captain She-Ro!" Xandir gasped.
"What happened to him?" Foxxy asked.
"This could be a side effect of those pills he took earlier that would allow him to listen to women better. He was supposed to take only half of it but he took the whole damn thing because apparently, he didn't listen to Reivax!" Lightning explained.
"Listening pills! You took pills just so you could listen to us better!" Toot snapped.
"Sorry, I was just trying to be a better roommate. Don't I get points for effort?" Hero asked.
"Ugh, I guess," Toot grumbled. "Now's not the time to freak out about this. We got to figure out how to turn Hero back into a man, and fast. We don't know if this is permanent or not," Foxxy said. Then, Foxxy noticed something about Hero. "Wait…are your tits bigger than mine?" she asked.
"No, just different is all. In size," Captain Hero said.
"I don't get this. How are you a woman now?" Wooldoor asked, sounding extremely confused.
"In every way, starting with the annoying split ends and the fact I'm starting to hate these boots," Captain Hero stated.
"So, do you still like women?" Spanky asked.
"Of course I do," Captain Hero said.
"So…does that mean you're a lesbian now?" Flory asked.
"I…I don't know. I have to find out first. I need a volunteer," Captain Hero.
Clara, Flory and Toot immediately took big steps back, leaving Foxxy alone.
"Fine, I'll help him find out his sexuality," Foxxy said. "…should I have called Hero a 'him' or a 'her'?"
"I think we should continue to call Hero a him just so that things don't get too confusing," Lightning suggested.
In the girl's room, Foxxy and Hero laid on Foxxy's bed. "So, you're here just to see if you're a lesbian, so don't get to excited," Foxxy said.
"Okay, let's do this," Captain Hero said as he turned out the light. "No, no, no, don't do that. I feel more comfortable like this. Now let's try this," Hero said in the dark, following by loud thumping and rubbing that sounded like sandpaper.
"OW! Damn Hero, what the hell are you doing?" Foxxy asked.
"Well, right now it feels like we're trying to make a fire," Hero said.
Foxxy turned the light back on and said, "Well, we sure know one thing; you are not a lesbian."
"We better tell the others," Hero said as he opened the door to the room and hollered down the hall. "Guys! I'm not a lesbian, we tried but it didn't feel right!"
This resulted in Lightning Lizard shouting, "We did not need to know that!"
Later that day, Captain Hero, Lightning Lizard and Foxxy went down to Prof. Reivax's lab to find Prof. Reivax, but instead, found a fairly attractive young man in the lab.
"Oh, it's Leonardo Dicaprio," Foxxy said.
"Ha ha, yeah, I get that a lot. My name is Fernando Demario," the man said. "And I got your message regarding the pill Captain Hero took that caused him to turn into a woman."
"Yeah, and we need to find a way to reverse it," Foxxy explained.
"Well, let's have a look at him," Fernando said.
Captain Hero walked up to Fernando, whose eyebrows rose really high and he immediately got a boner. "Well, well, well. Look at you. Do a twirl for me," the scientist said. Hero did a little twirl, allowing Fernando to get a good look at him. "Well, I must say, you look exactly as I had pictured you," Fernando said, holding up a hand drawn picture of Captain Hero as a woman.
"Though your hair is a bit longer than I expected, but that's an easy fix," Fernando said, whipping out a pair of scissors and giving Hero a trim. "There, now you're perfect."
"Good, now has Reivax figured out a way to reverse all…this?" Hero asked pointing at his body.
"No, not yet, but once I find out, I'll tell you right away," Fernando said.
"Okay, let's go guys," Hero said as the three walked out of the room.
As soon as they all left, Fernando took the lock of Hero's snipped hair and sniffed it. "Hmm, Captain Hero doesn't make a bad woman. Let's hope he or shall I say, she, stays like this," he said to himself. Then, his phone rang. "Reivax's lab, Fernando speaking," he said.
"Fernando, I have found a cure for Captain Hero turning into a woman. Shall I notify him or should you?" Reivax stated over the phone.
"I will tell him. We hit it off and I think we're friends now…good friends," Fernando said.
At a local bar, Captain Hero, Foxxy, Clara, Toot and Flory were having drinks. "Thanks for taking me with you on your girls' night out. I really needed this," Captain Hero said.
"Well, you are a girl now, so we thought, 'why not', and took you along," Clara said.
"Yeah, you're one of the gals now," Foxxy said.
"To our new BFF, Captain Hero, or should we start calling him, Captain Heroine?" Flory asked, raising her glass of water.
"For now, call me Hero, but if this can't be fixed, call me Heroine," Captain Hero said.
The girls clinked their glasses together and drank when a guy walked over to the table. He then asked Hero, "Excuse me, are you Megan Fox?"
"No," Hero said, blushing.
"So, you're just a regular fox?" the guy said flirtatiously.
Foxxy is in the confessional saying, "Ever since Hero got his gender changed, a lot of guys have been keeping their eyes on him more than they did on me. This might be a real problem. I know how to deal with guys like that, but Hero does not."
Foxxy whipped out a can of pepper spray and maced the guy. "ARGH! You stupid bitch!" the man shouted before running away.
"What'd you do that for?" Hero asked.
"Hero, as a woman with an unnecessarily large and perky chest, you're going to get a lot of attention," Foxxy told Hero.
"Guys are going to say anything just to get with you, and some of it is going to be tempting," Flory warned.
"So I don't look like Megan Fox?" Hero said, sounding very sad.
"Listen, we know this is all new and confusing, but you just have to be careful. Hopefully, you won't be a woman much longer," Clara told her friend.
Hero smiled at the girls and walked over to the counter. "I'll get us another round," he said.
"Just water for me, you know what happens in I get drunk," Flory said.
"We all know!" the other girls groaned, making Flory jump.
At the counter, Hero got the drinks and asked the bartender, "How much do I owe you?"
"The drinks have been paid for, miss," the bartender said.
"Shut up!" Hero exclaimed, excited.
The tender pointed behind him, revealing that the person that paid for the drinks was none other than Fernando Demario.
"I know you; you're Fernando Demario from the lab. Any news from Reivax?" Hero said.
"Yes, and I'm afraid it isn't good," Fernando said. "You see, there is no cure for this. You'll be a beautiful woman forever."
"Oh my god!" Hero gasped.
"But we don't have time for mourning over this. I need some urgent assistance at my home, assistance only you can assist me with," Fernando said.
"Okay, let me just go tell the girls," Hero said, about to walk over to where Foxxy and the others were, but Fernando grabbed his shoulder saying, "Like I said. No time! We got to go." Fernando grabbed Hero and ran out of the bar.
20 minutes later, Foxxy went over to the counter and asked the bartender, "Hey, have you seen a friend of mine named Captain Hero? Tall, black hair, dressed like a superhero, body of a woman?"
"Oh, that girl. Yeah, she left 20 minutes ago with some guy," the man answered.
"What! For real! Do you remember anything about him?" Foxxy asked.
"Yeah, he looked a bit like Leonardo DiCaprio, only he wasn't Leonardo DiCaprio," the bartender stated.
"Fernando Demario!" Foxxy gasped, running out of the bar.
On the way to Fernando's house, Hero asked, "So what is this problem you need my help with?"
Fernando whipped out his phone and muttered nonsense into it, then he put it away and said, "Oh, the problem has been fixed. Looks like it was just another leaky faucet."
"Oh, that's great. I guess that means you can take me back to the bar," Captain Hero said.
"Or we could keep driving. It's not often I get a one-on-one with a super heroine," Fernando said.
"Well, there was a lot of crazy stuff I wanted to talk to you about that happened today. You see, Toot came in with this crazy story about a catfight at the mall when-," Hero said when Fernando pressed a button in the car and opened up the roof.
"You ever see any of these bad boys. Not many get to watch the moon while driving," he said until a fly flew directly into his mouth.
"You okay?" Hero asked.
"I'm so sick of that happening!" Fernando shouted as he pressed the button and closed the roof. "But let's not let that ruin out night."
"Good, now about my day…" Hero said.
"I can't wait to discuss it, but we should really do it indoors. Where could we go?" Fernando asked himself, until he said, "I suppose we could go to my place." Then, he drove the car up a driveway of a big house. "I mean we are already here," he added.
At Reivax's lab, Foxxy drove up to the building and rushed inside.
"Hero? Hero!" Foxxy hollered until she noticed Prof. Reivax working at a table with some chemicals.
"Sorry to interrupt your science, but have you seen Captain Hero, anatomically a woman," Foxxy asked the scientist.
"Captain Hero is still a woman?" Reivax asked.
"Well, yeah, we're still waiting for a cure," Foxxy said.
"There is a cure, a simple pill that will turn Hero back into a man. Fernando was supposed to tell him. He says he could since they're friends now," Reivax explained.
"Wait a second, Fernando is keeping Hero a woman just so he can sleep with him! I have to find them!" Foxxy shouted.
"Well, if Fernando is trying to seal the deal, they're probably at his house. I have his address in his file. I really need to fire him, this always happens," Reivax said.
At Fernando's house, Hero sat in the living room which was very expensively decorated and had a fireplace. Fernando walked in carrying a tray with two glasses of wine, pickled ginger, and a bowl of tangerines.
"There," he said, setting the tray on the table. "Two glasses of wine, some pickled ginger, and a bowl of tangerines. The scene is set to discuss the events of the day."
"Well, as I was saying, Toot came in, telling me and Lightning Lizard about a catfight at the mall over a pair of shoes. And, of course, being a man at the time, I didn't listen, so after Toot berated me, Lightning decided to take me to see Prof. Reivax in order to fix my listening to women problem. Xandir and Flory told me they were at the doctor's while we were gone and turns out, Xandir is pregnant! It's going to take months in order to find a gift for a baby shower. I might end up having to give it to him after the baby comes, which will be a little embarrassing," Captain Hero said.
"Intriguing," Fernando said, holding up a slice of tangerine and raising it to Hero's mouth. "Open."
Hero opened his mouth, allowing Fernando to toss the piece of fruit into his mouth.
"Yes, enjoy your slice. It's the last thing you'll put in your mouth, a little at the time," he muttered.
On the road, Foxxy was driving through traffic, trying to get to Fernando's house and save Hero. "Come on, motherfucker! Out of my way!" she shouted out the window.
Back at Fernando's house, Hero and Fernando were walking through a room that was decorated with Japanese art and had a few racks of samurai swords.
"I love listening to this, please tell me more," he said to Hero.
"Well, I'm just saying, Cat woman and Bat Girl were being a little bitchy to me. I think they were just jealous because Batman wouldn't take his eyes off me. That is the last time I'll ever go to Gotham now since I'm a woman," Hero said.
Fernando picked up a sword and stated, "You know, I have over 4 swords. Hi-yah!" Fernando sliced the sword toward Captain Hero, which resulted in him accidently cutting off part of Hero's uniform, revealing his bra. "Oops," Fernando said, biting his finger.
On the highway, a purple van was driving through traffic and the driver, wearing a cap with fox ears on it, lost control of the wheel and ended up slamming into the back of a gas truck. After the crash, which resulted in the person and the van to be set on fire, Foxxy drove by in her van.
She saw the crash and gasped, "Oh my god! That person has a van just like mine!"
The driver then got out of the van, revealing to be a man in a fox ear hat, starting running around on fire.
"Oh dammit, don't tell me I'm wearing a dude's hat," Foxxy muttered.
At Fernando's house, Hero and Fernando were sitting in a hot tub, with Hero now in a bikini. "So, I tell Wonder Woman, 'listen, I know I have harassed you for your boobs, but I am suffering for it now. I got my karma, like you said, now can we please leave this issue alone and save the people from the burning building?', but did she help? No! She made me do all the work! She's such a brat. I never knew what kind of women jerks can be until I became one. I guess this is revenge for always fondling them," Hero said.
"So, speaking of women, now since you're a woman, you won't be getting it on with any girls now, can you?" Fernando asked.
"No, I tried being a lesbian, but it didn't feel right. So I guess I'll just be friends with my female housemates, maybe even best friends," Hero said.
"Sounds like a best friend might want you to have all your needs met," Fernando said.
"Fernando, what are you saying?" Hero asked.
"Look in the mirror, bro, you're a red-hot mama, and your body is crying out for a man, let me be that man," Fernando said, moving closer to Hero.
"But…I don't know," Hero said, sounding reluctant.
"You mean you didn't wonder what would happen if you changed genders after a horrible accident and you met this incredibly hot guy who looks like Leonardo DeCaprio, who happens to be the man of your dreams?" Fernando asked.
Captain Hero focused his eyesight elsewhere and blushed.
"That's what I thought," Fernando said, with a sly grin.
Just then, Foxxy drove up to Fernando's house.
At the exact same instant, Hero and Fernando were wearing short robes and walking into Fernando's bedroom, which was decorated with candles.
Foxxy kicked open the door and ran in shouting, "Hero? Hero!"
Hero got into the bed, took off his robe and threw it on Fernando's head.
Foxxy ran into the Japanese themed room, where she found Hero's uniform on the floor. She picked up the top, which seemed to be cut open and said, "Oh no."
Fernando threw off his robe and got over Hero under the covers, where the two proceeded to French kiss.
Foxxy ran outside, where she found the hot tub and Hero's bikini top. Foxxy used a sword she found in the Japanese theme room to get it and held it in her hands. "Still warm," she said.
In Fernando's room, Fernando was kissing all over Hero's neck. "Wow, I had no idea this was about to happen. When I had planned on telling someone about my day, I didn't know it would lead to me getting fucked!" he exclaimed.
"Your day? What happened?" Fernando asked.
"You know, I told you Toot told me there was a catfight at the mall, all the other heroines were being complete assholes to me and Xandir got pregnant by one of Reivax's potions," Hero told Fernando.
"Xandir is pregnant? I didn't know that. How rare," Fernando said.
Hero frowned at Fernando and said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
Outside the room, Foxxy, gripping the sword in one hand and the doorknob in the other, was about to barge in when she heard Hero shouted, "NO!"
Inside the room, Captain Hero put the robe back on and shouted, "You've been pretending to listen to me all night! Don't you know how disrespectful that is!"
Fernando was silent until he said, "Tell me more."
"You're still not listening! Oh my god, Toot and Lightning were right! If you need to be a good guy friend to a girl, you got to at least try to listen to the woman in order to be a good friend. I finally know how to be the best guy friend, but I'm stuck as a woman!" Hero cried.
Foxxy then entered the room. "I knew you'd figure it out eventually," she said.
"Foxxy!" Hero gasped.
"I heard everything and I think the other girls will be very happy to hear that you understand us now, and you're not stuck as a girl. There's an antidote!" Foxxy stated.
"Really? That's great!" Hero said happily.
Foxxy then pointed the sword at Fernando. "And this jackass knew all along," she snarled.
"Is that true?" Hero asked Fernando.
Fernando nodded, smirking, showing he was not listening again.
"Unbelievable, I'm keeping the sword," Foxxy sneered as she and Hero left the room.
Back at the Drawn Together house, Hero walked downstairs, revealing to be a man once again.
"Wow, regrowing a penis is not as painful as you think," he stated.
"Yay! Hero's back to being a man! Whee!" Wooldoor cheered.
"Finally! I can try my new baseball bat!" Lightning cheered, before using it ti strike Hero in the crotch, making him double over in pain. "He has a cock people, I repeat, he has a cock," Lightning told everyone, who cheered.
"Well, time for us guys to go out and celebrate," Hero said, about to exit from the house, until Foxxy stopped him.
"Hold on, pop quiz," Foxxy said. "Where did I go after I found out you were missing from the bar?"
"Reivax's lab," Hero answered.
"Good, and who did I talk to while I was there?" Foxxy asked.
"Prof. Reivax," Hero said.
"Great, and what sort of chemicals was she working with?"
"Uh…I don't know, iodine?" Hero guessed.
"Trick question, I never said that. Now get out of here and have fun," Foxxy told Hero.
"Wait, what about the Xandir being pregnant dilemma? Aren't we going to do something about that?" Flory asked.
"Well, I planned on keeping the baby, but only if you guys were okay with it," Xandir said.
"Sure, we can keep it."
"Yeah, it'll be fun to have a kid around."
"Just keep it away from me and we'll get along fine."
"Just as long as it don't end up in child services."
"Yay!" Xandir cheered.
Yeah, you can tell most of this chapter is based off of an episode of American Dad. That's where I got the idea.
I own Lightning Lizard, Flory, Prof. Reivax (Turn her name backwards and figure out who I based her off of) and Fernando Demario.
Comedy Central owns Drawn Together
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