Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck or any of the other fandoms. The world would've ended a long time ago if I had.

Chapter 2 : Contact

Homestuck dipped the washcloth into his pot of hot water (because buckets are gross) and began to attack one of the numerous red stain splattered on the kitchen walls.

It was blood, blood of fallen pasta. Pasta whose family and friends would miss and mourn them for many years, leaving a bouquet of basil on their grave every year on the anniversary of their death. The pasta would receive a funeral fit for the hero it truly was, with trumpets and guns and Clydesdale horses pulling a fancy, old-fashioned hearse wagon thingy.

It was going to be beautiful and sad all at the same time.

Homestuck had no idea how the pasta had ended up on the walls. He'd left the kitchen to retrieve Hetalia's mail – he'd been gone for literally five minutes – and when he returned, it was a bloodbath. A delicious, spicy probably should have gotten angry, but Hetalia was sensitive, and he was scared he'd make his moirail cry if he raised his voice.

He hadn't even bothered to ask "how?"

So, like the grown-up he obviously was, Homestuck calmly told Hetalia to help him clean up this god-damned mess.

Hetalia obviously didn't mind, because he was humming his theme in a rather cheerful manner.

Sadly that didn't change the fact there was noddles and sauce everywhere, and it was going to take a shit-ton of time to clean it all up.

"Homestuck?" Hetalia asked.

"Yeah?"

"How about we order pizza after we're done with this?"

"As long as it keeps you away from the nitro pasta sauce, that sounds absolutely perfect."

BEEP

Homestuck turned back and glanced at Hetalia. "Did you hear that? Was it your phone or something?"

Hetalia turned and returned Homestuck's gaze. He looked confused. "No, I don't think so..." His phone popped from his sylladex into his hand. After messing with it for a moment, he shook his head and said "Nope. Was it yours, maybe?"

Homestuck copied Hetalia, however, his phone flashed the NEW MESSAGE screen with a great deal of enthusiasm. He glanced briefly at Hetalia before opening the message.

Ding dong, the witch's dead.

"What the actual fuck..."

"What is it?" Hetalia inquired, walking over.

Homestuck held the phone up to him. Hetalia frowned. "What..? Does it say who it's from?"

"No...there's a number, but all it's showing for the sender is "Unknown."

"The witch, though...do you think they're talking about on of the others..?"

Homestuck frowned. "I sure hope the hell not. I'm going to try calling this nook-licker."

The troll selected the number and made his phone dial it up. Pressing it to his ear, he heard the familiar dial-tone. A few moments later the tone halted and was replaced by a voice.

"Hello, Homestuck." The voice had an odd quality to it. Homestuck couldn't identify the age or gender, but it wasn't robotic either.

"Okay, congratulation, you got my number. Now, who the fuck are you? And what do you want?"

"Who I am? You'll find that out later on. As for why I contacted you...well, I wanted to warn you."

"About what?"

"Uh-uh~, spoilers~!"

Homestuck furrowed his brow. He knew a guy who said "spoilers" in times like this. Said guy had a fez and a long scarf. "Okay, this isn't Doctor Who fucking around with me, is it?"

"Goodness no!" Thee voice exclaimed. "He is completely uninvolved."

"Okay, so you sent me message that was supposed to be a warning, but I'm not allowed to know what it is? "

"Something like that."

"Okay, can I have a hint?"

"That depends on what said hint is." They replied.

"Is someone going to die? A witch, maybe?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Okay, that's good, I guess." That was good, but it left Homestuck with more questions.

"Since I'm in a particularly good mood that day, I'll tell you one thing : be expecting someone new, yet very old."

What did that even mean? Homestuck opened his mouth to ask, but as he did the line went dead.

He ended the call. "Enigmatic fuck monkey?"

"Did you find out who it was?" Hetalia asked.

Homestuck shook his head. "No, but noone's going to die, I guess. So that's pretty good. But apparently we have to expect someone."

Hetalia tilted his head. "Who?"

"Didn't tell me who."

"Huh. Um...you shouldn't dwell on it too much, you'll get stressed. We should finish this so we can order a pizza and, I don't know, watch one of your romcoms?"

Homestuck's head jerked up like a dog who'd heard its name being called. "Really?!"

Hetalia grinned and nodded. "Whichever one you want."

Homestuck jerked forward and caught his moirail in a tight hug. I fucking love you, Hetabro. You know that?"

Hetalia squirmed, trying to get free. "Y-yeah, but could you let go? I'm choking..."

Yay, Chapter two ^-A-^

Sorry about the somewhat crappy ending to the chapter, I got writer's block, and ending things is always hard for me... *Sobs*

But, anyway, I hope you guys liked it!

PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW or whatever.