"Suppose you've gotta do what you gotta do
We just weren't feeling how we wanted to
You sit and try sometimes but you just can't figure out what went wrong"
Mad Sounds by Arctic Monkeys
Gage met Tobias in her hidden library nook for their third session. Gage was waiting when Tobias came hurrying in between the bookshelves. "Sorry I'm late." he said breathlessly.
"It's fine." Gage smiled. "This way I got to work the problems ahead of you."
Tobias just nodded and sat down in the chair across from Gage.
"Okay…" Gage drifted off. "Well we can start with quadratic functions this time." she opened her book. Tobias copied her and Gage began explaining the algorithm for solving a quadratic function.
"I like to use the formula," her handwriting was elegant, but concise. Tobias noticed that she wrote like an Abnegation with no embellishments, nothing to make hers stand out amongst others. "It's easier for me to remember a formula then go into the long and tired process of factoring." Gage explained. Tobias noticed how her brown eyes were rimmed in a black/brown eyeliner and it intrigued him, because women wore no make-up in Abnegation. Tobias turned quickly back to his paper when Gage's eyes flickered over to him. Gage noticed that Tobias's eyelashes touched the upper part of his eyelids and she had always loved long lashes. She watched as Tobias did the problem excellently with the formula. "You did it perfectly, Tobias." Gage smiled at him revealing perfect, white teeth. Tobias smiled back more minutely. Gage's smile was infectious even to Tobias' stone exterior.
"Thank you." Tobias said quietly, looking away.
Gage just looked at the other problems. She suddenly shut her book. "Come on." she grinned at Tobias. "We're done here, but I'm not done with you." Gage pulled Tobias out of his chair.
"This sounds like a bad idea." Tobias said quickly.
Gage merely grinned back as she slung her bag over her shoulder, "Oh it's a horrible idea." she winked at him.
Tobias just shook his head and smiled, "Dauntless." he said before racing after her. They tossed their bags in Tobias's father's truck and Gage hopped in the driver's seat. "Do you even know how to drive?" Tobias raised an eyebrow at her.
"How hard can it be?" Gage smiled widely as she began driving. The drive was jerky and harsh with Gage at the wheel. Tobias was positive that he got whiplash and had cracked something in his neck. "See easy peasy." she put it in park.
"Gage, we're in the factionless sector." Tobias whispered.
"Why are you whispering?" Gage asked him. "No one is around." she promised. "And if anyone bothers us…well I'm Dauntless." she whipped out a switchblade from her combat boot. "You're fine." she hopped out and tossed Tobias the keys. "Take off your robe, it's only going to get in the way."
Tobias uneasily shed his gray robe and was left in his tight grey undershirt and grey slacks. He ran a hand over his closely shorn hair insecurely.
"You look fine, Stiff." Gage used the Dauntless slang in a way Tobias had never heard. Without a trace of malice. "Come on." she looked up at the skyscraper in front of them. She walked in and Tobias noticed that it was unusually clean for an abandoned building. Gage went to a fuse box and flicked a bunch of switches.
"What is this place?" Tobias asked.
"It used to be the Willis Tower, but we call it the Glass Box." Gage smiled as she opened up an elevator. "Come on this'll take us pretty far." Tobias stepped in after her and Gage pressed a button. "My Dad was the head of the Dauntless who policed the factionless and they often worked out of this building." She explained. "And bring your daughter to work day was every day." she smiled at fond memories. "But he was a busy man and so when he got too busy I would come up here." The elevator then stopped suddenly.
"What's happening?" Tobias's voice was slightly panicked.
Gage gently touched his hand, "Don't worry." she smiled. She heaved a large crate that was in the elevator over. She climbed on top of it. Tobias was near hyperventilating, but he didn't want Gage to think that he wasn't Dauntless enough to keep up with her. "Claustrophobia?" Gage raised an eyebrow at him.
"What?" Tobias looked up at her.
"You're scared of small spaces and being trapped." Gage said matter-of-factly. "It's okay," she smiled. "I am too."
"How do you stay calm?" Tobias asked with wide eyes.
"I go through my fear landscape in the Dauntless compound every day." Gage admitted. "I have a theory that if I face my fears enough then they'll go away."
"And how's that theory working out for you?" Tobias looked at her from under his lashes like a sheepish child.
"Not very well." Gage said simply. She then pushed upward on the ceiling and the hatch door flew backwards. "Come on," she held out her hand to Tobias. He grabbed it and allowed her to pull him up onto the crate. Gage then boosted Tobias up and he stepped onto the top of the elevator.
"Here, allow me." Tobias held out his hand to Gage. She smiled and he hauled her upwards onto the elevator's top.
"This way." Gage started on the ladder. Tobias sighed and shook his head before following her. They scaled up the ladders quickly and Tobias could see a strip of tan skin above Gage's belt when she raised her arms. Tobias watched Gage as he climbed. To him even though she looked good in the all black Dauntless-wear, it looked like it didn't fit her. She looked out of place. There was something off about her. "We're here." Gage smiled as she hauled herself up over the edge. She then helped Tobias over the edge.
"Whoa," Tobias looked around. It was an abandoned apartment, but it was massive. The walls in between the rooms were mostly rubble so the bedroom bled into the living room and the living room into the kitchen.
"We're in what use to be the foyer." Gage smiled and she walked through the room. She then came to a doorway. "Now this is the kicker." she walked through and down a short hallway. Tobias looked the opposite way that Gage was going and saw it descended into nothing, but rubble. He then followed after Gage towards the large window. Gage stepped through and onto what looked like nothing.
"I can't," Tobias said. Gage just smiled at him. She took his hands delicately and gently pulled him forward onto the clear floor.
"Up here you're safe." Gage promised him. "Nobody can hurt you here." she looked out over the skyline. "You're untouchable." Tobias wondered if she taking to him or herself. He heard her words, but all he could see was the floor collapsing and his body shattering on the pavement.
"I can't." Tobias repeated, his mouth dry.
Gage looked back at him, "Afraid of heights?"
Tobias nodded.
Gage released a short laugh and Tobias remembered that she was Dauntless underneath everything else. His cheeks burned a scorned red as he looked away from Gage and back inside the building. "It's not a bad thing." Gage gently squeezed his hands. "Come on," Gage again pulled him out onto the glass. Gage sat down and hung her legs over the edge. There was a hole with enough room to dangle your legs over the edge. Tobias sat beside her uneasily. Gage smiled, "It's good to be scared sometimes." she said. "It reminds us that some things are more important than others."
"I'm tired of being scared." Tobias said fiercely. He was shocked at what he just said. Did he really just admit that?
Gage raised an eyebrow, but then looked out over the skyline. "Aren't we all?" she said simply. "I'm always scared these days."
"I didn't know Dauntless got scared?" Tobias said with a slight smile.
Gage merely laughed, but Tobias noticed that it was hollow. "Most of the time the people who act the bravest are the most terrified." she said. "Just like most of the time the people who seem the happiest are the most depressed." she shrugged.
Tobias mulled over her words for a moment, "Are you speaking from experience?" he asked quietly.
Gage nodded, "I have a friend who everyone thought was the happiest person alive. She was an only child with two even happier-seeming parents who appeared to love her. It turns out that she was different from everyone else and when her parents found out they treated her differently. They began ignoring her and they started fighting all the time." Gage said her feet kicking lightly over the edge.
Tobias waited for her to continue, but she didn't. He finally spoke up, "What happened to her?"
Gage swallowed, "Well I heard that she tried jumping off the chasm in the Dauntless compound, but chickened out. And now she's stuck here in a home that doesn't want her and a place that's dangerous for her."
"How was she so different that her parents began ignoring her?" Tobias asked, but he knew the answer.
Gage inhaled and exhaled slowly, before answering. "She was divergent."
"Well I have a friend that was divergent too." Tobias said slowly. "Last I heard he was planning to change factions."
"I heard my friend was going to do the same thing too." Gage nodded. "She told me that she was planning to transfer to Abnegation."
Tobias's eyes narrowed, "Gage, I wouldn't do that." he shakes his head. "Abnegation are not what they seem."
"But it's the safest way out." Gage said sadly. "Tobias, I'm out of options." she buried her face in her hands.
"Stay in Dauntless," Tobias said as if Gage wasn't thinking. "That's less attention-grabbing than a Dauntless transfer to Abnegation."
"But Tobias you don't understand in Dauntless they can see things better." Gage sounded frustrated and she still wouldn't look up from her hands. "Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to be impaired?" her chest was heaving, but she wasn't crying.
"It's not that you're impaired," Tobias said. "You can't conform and that defies the system. The fact that we can be many things, that we can have many faces, terrifies them." Tobias gently touched Gage's shoulder. He was Abnegation and it was hard for him to show affection. Gage then turned and buried her face in his shoulder. He stiffened and froze.
"That's the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me." Gage said, but it was muffled by Tobias's shoulder.
"Well I have reason to believe you are kind. Everyone else treats like I'm a leper, because my father keeps me shut away in the house." Tobias said bluntly. "They think that something is wrong with me."
Gage looked out over the skyline, but her head remained on Tobias's shoulder. "I know what Marcus does to you." she felt Tobias stiffen further. "I don't know how no one else can tell."
"You're just very intuitive." Tobias shrugged. "Most people don't even notice me."
"I wish no one would notice me." Gage said softly. "It's better than people noticing." Tobias sat in silence. Gage remained silent as well.
"Have you ever thought, that one day everything is going to make sense?" Tobias's voice was shaky. "All these things that don't add up are going to become solved."
Gage could only hear Tobias's heartbeat through his Abnegation shirt. Her expression remained blank and she sighed quietly.
"No." her tone was heart-breaking. "I've never thought that."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi-ho! So here's the newest chapter... Not a lot of action happened, but you got a better look at what's going on behind closed doors for Gage. Just to clarify when Tobias and Gage were talking about their "friends" they were actually talking about their own lives. So Gage really did attempt to jump off the Chasm and her parents do treat her differently and fight all the time as we saw in the first chapter. Tobias also is, as we all know, planning to transfer to Dauntless. So thanks for reading! Please review and favorite/follow and all that jazz if you can! :)
P.S. If you're a fan of Freaks and Geeks… I love you! I just finished it yesterday and I'm still distraught.